Mother Netherlands Poems of a Beautiful Country

For that matter, you might as well entitle it, "Welcome to Holland". Because if you maintain the spirit of the original story, and add in your points about how nobody gets to where they actually had planned to vacation, you would have written that every parent thinks they are going to Italy, but they ALL end up in Holland. Parenting is a trial, no matter what type of child one has. Vacations in foreign lands where you don't speak the language are not always as fun as one thinks they will be.

Nitpicking an analogy is not going to make parenting a special needs child easier or more like the neurotypical parenting experience. I feel enriched for having debated the ideas on my own for a little bit. May your visit to Italy, or Holland, be filled with moments of joy and delight even if it is also not what you planned.

I just Googled "Does anyone else hate the Welcome to Holland poem? I've never read your blog -- only this post -- and I really enjoyed it. I agree with a previous comment that suggested some of the anger toward this poem may actually be more appropriately directed at the people who share it with me and assume that A nobody has ever shared it with me before, or B my reading it will cause the clouds to part and brilliant rays of wisdom to come beaming into my brain. Yes, all of that is frustrating. But what really frustrated me about this poem was that I just couldn't relate to it.

I totally understand that a whole lot of people can, and for that reason, I think it's great. I think that if this poem gives a framework to your pain and confusion during the time when you've just received a special needs diagnosis, then it's a wonderful thing.

But it didn't do that for me. I get the metaphor; it's pretty straightforward. It just didn't apply to me. I've traveled extensively in my life, and I continue to do so with my son who has Down syndrome -- he's quite a jet setter. I have been to both Italy and Holland a couple times and love them both. The idea of thinking that I'm going to Italy and landing in Holland instead is comical to me. I wouldn't be flustered. I wouldn't be scared or confused or angry. I'd probably laugh and skip off the plane and see what kinds of things I could get into in Holland.

So the poem didn't really give me comfort or aid in my understanding of the new situation I was unexpectedly confronting. I loved your post because it challenged something that is widely accepted as truth i. While I wouldn't be thrown by the reality of landing in Holland instead of Italy, I would definitely have to adjust to a vacation where all of my luggage had been lost. I would definitely become angry if I had to wander around forever looking for a hotel that I expected to be in a certain place.

Having a beach holiday rained out and having to instead spend my days in museums and galleries, finding myself grateful in the end for having learned so much about a culture I wouldn't have otherwise explored, HAS happened to me and THAT speaks to my experience as a parent to a child with special needs.

Lastly I want to mention that the Holland poem is dated perhaps OUTdated, but that's a matter of judgement. I think it was pioneering when Kingsley first published it in the mid's, but I'll be damned if my child with Down syndrome is treated or regarded in the same ways that kids with DS were treated and regarded in the 80's. The expectations were minimal, at best. But fortunately, things have changed!

We have new research and legislation, and society is shifting slowly, but surely toward inclusion and acceptance of neurodiversity. So as much as I respect Kingsley's poem for being so groundbreaking in its time, and for giving comfort to so many people, it didn't apply to me and it doesn't apply to my kid. Your post, however, does.

Thank you for writing it. I went to school for early childhood some required classes taughtbabout children with disabilities and I heard professors read this peom a lot. At the time I didnt know what to think I did not have children but I knew I wanted to have them eventually. I did think it kind of putva whitebpicketbfence on having a child without disabilities and it did kind of seem to put rausing a special needs kid in different category. However, it seems to poem is just a moms interpreation o her experience. Perhaps she had a certain picture in her head about being a mom and after having her child felt it wasnt what she expected.

But I life is not always what we expect. Italy might not be what we thought as you said. Now Im trying to start my own family and it hasnt happened as easily as I hoped. I wont get into details but it has been sad for us. We expected to have a family by now, but we are not wiling to give up trying.

I saw some sad stories on here and I am so sorry about what some of you experienced. Excuse my poor typing, In college I mastered my typing skills, now all keyboards became virtual. Ill never get used to these keyboards. From what I looked up tge writer of the poem actually worked for Seaseame street, thats interesting. I just wrote the longest diatribe explaining why I wholly disagreed with you on your disdain for WtH. Ive decided to save it and start my own blog. Apparently, as the mother of a deceased child who lived 10 yrs of medical complexity I have a lot to say, so ill do it my own space.

It does make me sad that you dont take away the encouragement and gift of perspective of WtH but to each his own I suppose. I was also discouraged from reaching out to my cousin whose son was just diagnosed with autism and sharing the poem. Look at that, you caused an effect. What other ripples are you going to cast in this pond of a blog I wonder? My comments do not fall in line with the author.

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I think she is totally missing the purpose of this poem. This poem starts a journey and presents a perspective. Not everyone's journey is going to be the same. Some people will be proactive, some reactive and some won't acknowledge at all if their child has a disability in any capacity. This poem raises awareness and that in itself is helpful. If you don't like the analogy, then find another one. I once had someone ask me if I could "fix" my daughter. Of all the odd things people have said to me in more than 15 years, that really struck me as the oddest.

I've been always travelling by cars so i haven't dealt with keeping an eye on luggage or something like that. Hello everybody, i am Mr. Smith Alexandra mail me and he said i should fill the form that was send to me that will enable them proceed on the loan immediately and i did and i follow all the process with they give me , so to my greatest surprise the loan was transfer to my bank account not less than 24 hours after i paid all the necessary fees. I loved Welcome to Holland. This last article was also very good, but the author sounded bitter, and bashing someone else's experience does not make her any better.

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Contact us by email: Awaiting your swift response. May Allah bless you. A well meaning friend recently sent me this essay. It is called " Welcome to Holland ", and was written in by Emily Perl Kingsley, a special needs parent who describes her parenting journey as being like getting very excited for a vacation to Italy parenting expectations only to find that she has been landed permanently in the quaint country of Holland reality of special needs parenting.

It's very poignantly written, and definitely tells a story of how beautiful an adventure special needs parenting can be. And yet, I hate it. And people keep sending it to me. They are so well-intentioned. I certainly don't want to hurt them or to discourage them from trying to find meaningful ways to relate to me and to our family.

But deep down inside, I want to punch someone in the throat beat the walls with a bouquet of proverbial Holland tulips. Well, I can guarantee you this much: I also don't hate Italy. I've never been to either place, and I'm sure I'd love to visit them both. And it's not because there isn't a certain element of accuracy to the idea that my reality doesn't match up with my expectations, thus sending me into a very unexpected place.

Yup, I said it. I'm about to blow this "parenting expectations" myth right out of the water. You see, I would be willing to place a bet- a pretty substantial one at that- that, if you are a parent, your expectations of parenthood didn't quite match up to your reality. Each and every one of us finds ourselves on this parenting journey a little lost, a little confused, a little disillusioned.

We each come into this game thinking that we know what the rest of our lives are going to look like. From pregnancy to newborn, childhood, graduation, marriage, house, dog, cat, kids, grandkids Some of us may even have gone so far as to dream of what they would look like. What career they would have. What hobbies they would love. We fill our minds with countless dreams and expectations and anticipations And then, bam- enter reality.

It happens to us all in different ways. Reality hit me hard when the doctors told me that my 19 week old fetus would probably not live to term and would try to take me down with it.

Nursery rhyme - Wikipedia

Reality hit my husband hard when he got home from the hospital, looked at his newborn son and said "So Reality hit her again when, just as she had gotten used to the idea of having a son, a little girl was born instead. Reality hits the family of a child with severe egg or nut allergies.

Reality hits the family of the child who is gay. Reality hits the family of the child who doesn't want to take over the family business, and instead dreams of being a ballet dancer. Reality hits the mother who expected her son to sing as beautifully as she does, only to learn that he is completely tone deaf.

Reality hits the uncle who thought that autism meant "like that kid in Touch " Reality hits the father who's son just can't stand still, no matter how many times he is spanked. Reality hits the grandparents whose child has just been in a car crash, and may not live to see the next day. It happens at varying times and in varying degrees, but one thing is certain: Reality will hit you, like a ton of bricks.

Nothing about parenting will be anything like what you expected. The reason for this is extremely simple: Your expectations are about you. They aren't about your child. So when this little person enters into your world, with their own personality, opinion, experiences, beliefs, skills, talents, weaknesses and strengths, it breaks your brain. Who they are and who they are to become actually has very little to do with what you expect from them.

It has to do with who they are, and how you guide them towards self-discovery. So, in a way, we all wind up in "Holland"- a foreign country with absolutely no idea how to navigate it And I could leave it there, except for one thing. We don't wind up in Holland. Being in Holland would imply that we were not involved in the final destination. Special needs parents and non-special needs parents alike. We all chose our destination: You see, parenting is a choice. And it's one that is riddled with uncertainty, responsibility and- sometimes- heartache. But it is a journey we chose to embark upon.

None of knew what kind of kids we'd get. None of us can say for certain that our kids will do a, b, or c. Hell, none of us can know for certain that they won't drown in a pool. Or lose their legs in a crash. Or spend a year or more in the hospital, recovering from a brain injury. None of us know anything about the final destination.

We are all flying blind. So, instead of Holland, I posit this: We all wound up in Italy. The story goes like this: What is special needs parenting? Well, it's pretty much like every other kind of parenting. Yes, we have very unique struggles, and yes there are definitely challenges, but there are struggles and challenges in everyone's lives and who am I to say that they are better or worse than yours?

It's kind of like planning to go to Italy. You read all the books, you pick out all the restaurants you want to eat at, you dream all the romantic strolls you'll take. Some of us get lost trying to find our hotels, and wind up discovering a beautiful bed and breakfast to stay at instead. Others lose our luggage, and spend the first two days at the airport, using the sink as a sponge bath. Others realize that being in a country where you do not speak the language is very scary and intimidating, and spend the whole time in their room, afraid to leave. Others still, get stormy weather the entire time- so instead of laying around on beaches and enjoying wine on patios, they discover the history around them in museums, and halls, and opera houses.

Because you can't predict how something will feel. You can't predict how something will smell. You can't predict what will captivate you, or terrify you. All you can do learn as much as you can, before you leave and when you land, and focus on being adaptable and flexible. Whether or not you enjoy the trip is entirely up to you. So here we are, all in Italy. But we're all having very different vacations, because we're very different people, raising very different children.

Is life with my Autistic child quite the same as what I thought parenting would be? Nope- it sure isn't. But neither is life with my neurotypical daughter. And neither is life with my husband. And neither is my life, in and of itself. It's all one crazy, wild ride, every day defying my expectations. The only thing that has actually gone exactly as I expected was this: Most attempts to reform nursery rhymes on this basis appear to be either very small scale, light-hearted updating, like Felix Dennis's When Jack Sued Jill — Nursery Rhymes for Modern Times , or satires written as if from the point of view of political correctness in order to condemn reform.

It has been argued that nursery rhymes set to music aid in a child's development. From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. This article is about the traditional poems or songs for children. For a Japanese galgame , see Nursery Rhyme visual novel. Children's music and Children's song. Oxford University Press, , 2nd edn. British women poets of the Romantic era: Johns Hopkins University Press, , p.

Dorson, The British Folklorists: Oxford University Press US, , pp. Opie, 'Playground rhymes and the oral tradition', in P. Routledge, , p. Roberts, Heavy words lightly thrown: Knowles, Oxford Dictionary of Quotations Oxford: Oxford University Press, , 6th edn.

The Story of Mary's Little Lamb. Wadsworth, In the Company of Books: Literature and Its "classes" in Nineteenth-century America Liverpool: Liverpool University Press, , p. Handbook of children, culture, and violence Sage, , p. From Enchanted Forests to the Modern World , p. Edinburgh University Press, , pp. Bayley, Foundations of Literacy: Children's music and poetry. Folklore genres, types, and subtypes. Folk religion Myth Old wives' tale Ritual Legend tripping.

Folk song Folk instrument. Folk art Outsider art. Folkloristics Morphology folkloristics Motif folkloristics Aarne—Thompson classification systems. Retrieved from " https: Children's poetry Children's songs Nursery rhymes. Commons category link is on Wikidata. Views Read Edit View history. In other projects Wikimedia Commons. This page was last edited on 14 October , at By using this site, you agree to the Terms of Use and Privacy Policy. The slave trade ; medieval wool tax. Medieval taxes were much lower than two thirds. There is no evidence of a connection with slavery.