Easy Effective Child Discipline

Best way to immediately improve behavior: Or if the child is upset about ending their play time, you might say, "Yes, you can wait for five minutes before it's time for bed. Best response for long-term behavior improvement: Parents who came up with alternatives whenever possible for easy-to-manage toddlers saw improvements in their behavior months down the road. Punishment or threats of it. They don't need it," Larzelere said. These toddlers are much more aggressive: They may act defiantly, ignore you or hit a sibling.

Just like their more behaved counterparts, these kids also responded quickest to this tactic, the study found. Parents need to reward their child after he or she has done something good, so that the child is encouraged to repeat that behavior. So, become a better parent and encourage your kids more. It should not be mixed up with bribing a child, which is given beforehand to motivate your child to do things that you want — both are very different.

Kids who are bribed tend to learn to manipulate their parents and work their way to gain more bribes. Some work only when they are bribed and not otherwise. Bribing should be avoided.

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Some parents even give points for good behavior and reduce points for bad behavior. My parents did that when I was young, and it made me do good things mainly to gain more good points all the time. If you expect it so, it might stress your child and he or she might misbehave just to ease the tension. Some kids might share, but generally, most young ones are very possessive at this stage.

Instead, you can keep away the most precious toys aside before the friends arrive, which will make him or her feel comfortable sharing the toys.

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So, set specific, realistic, and limited goals to help your child so that you and your child both succeed. What are your instant reactions when a child does something wrong? For example, if a child deliberately breaks a toy or loses it, the toy is no longer there to play with. Or if a child leaves a book in school, he or she might be punished the next day for not completing the homework.

Or a child who teases a dog and gets bitten or scratched, learns not to do it again. Though the punishment is immediate, small, and associated with the cat, it makes the lesson easy to remember. The other kind is the unacceptable or logical consequence, which are linked to the behavior of the child. Explain to your child that the consequences are for bad behavior, and mean what you say. Be firm without screaming and yelling! Missing out on a bedtime story or a car drive can make the child really behave!

Parents need to remember that corporal or physical punishment like hitting and spanking can harm your kids. Spanking can become violent at times and harm a child — it can also cause them to fear their parents. It teaches them that they can hit or spank when they are angry too. Research indicates that spanking may encourage anger, aggression, and frustration in children and is an ineffective discipline techniques, best to be avoided. For parents looking for helpful information and alternatives to spanking, you could check out the Center for Effective Discipline www.

For example, if your child is yelling, demonstrate as to how he or she can speak quietly and in a good manner. It a break from the tension of the present moment and involves physically removing your child from a problematic situation. You need to make sure you have such a fixed place well beforehand. It should be a boring and quiet place, and you should ignore your child till he or she is calm and quiet. Such a place should not be the bedroom where the child can play, neither a dangerous place like a bathroom and other such area.

An age-by-age guide to disciplining your kid

Lead your child to a chair away from toys and the play area, and explain that he or she needs to stay there till he or she calms down. Once your child is calm and ready to talk, ask why he or she was misbehaving. It helps your child recognize and deal with his or her feelings. Give your child a hug in the end, so that your child knows you were unhappy with the behavior, not with your child. Such an effective discipline technique works well for kids who are around 2 years of age or older, once they are old enough to understand the purpose of a time out.

They are just to be taken as a short cooling-off period and are most effective when your child needs a change of mood. This is another effective discipline technique for school going kids and teenagers, where you restrict your child to a certain place, like his or her room as a way to punish him or her. Small rewards like an ice cream treat or car ride can be more effective than big rewards, like a promise of a bicycle.

The toddler wants to play with a breakable glass object on a hard kitchen floor. The parent should remain with the child. The struggle for mastery, independence and self-assertion continues. This does not necessarily express anger or willful defiance. The caregiver should have empathy, realizing the meaning of these manifestations. When the child regains control, the parent should give some simple verbal explanation and reassurance.

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The child should be redirected to some other activity, preferably away from the scene of the tantrum. The toddler cannot regulate behaviour based on verbal prohibitions or directions alone. The toddler has a temper tantrum in a public place. Remove the child from the place of misbehaviour.

Hold the child gently until the toddler gains control. Give a short verbal instruction or reassurance followed by supervision and an example. However, they have not internalized many rules, are gullible, and their judgment is not always sound. They require good behavioural models after which to pattern their own behaviour.

The consistency should apply not only in the rules and actions of the primary caregiver, but in other adults who care for the child. Reliance on verbal rules increases, but still the child requires supervision to carry through directions and for safety. Time-out can be used if the child loses control. Redirection or small consequences related to and immediately following the misbehaviour are other alternatives.

Approval and praise are the most powerful motivators for good behaviour. Lectures do not work well and some consider them to be counterproductive. The preschooler draws on the wall with crayons. Use time-out to allow him to think about the misbehaviour.

Consider using also logical consequences, eg, take the crayons away and let the child clean up the mess to teach accountability. School-age children tend to act autonomously, choose their own activities and friends, and, to some extent, recognize other than parental authority. Parents should continue to supervise, provide good behavioural models, set rules consistently, but also allow the child to become increasingly autonomous. Parents should continue to make the important decisions because school-age children cannot always put reasoning and judgment into practice.

Praise and approval should be used liberally, although not excessively, to encourage good behaviour and growth into a more mature human being. The use of appropriate motivators should be encouraged; for example, buy a keen reader his or her favourite book. Acceptable means of discipline include withdrawal or delay of privileges, consequences and time-out.

Effective discipline for children

The child destroys toys. Instead of replacing these toys, let the child learn the logical consequences. Destroying toys will result in no toys to play with. Conflicts frequently ensue because the adolescent adheres increasingly to the peer group, challenges family values and rules, and distances himself from the parents.

Parents can meet these challenges by remaining available, setting rules in a noncritical way, not belittling the adolescent, and avoiding lectures or predicting catastrophes. Contracting with the adolescent is also a useful tool. Disciplinary spanking of adolescents is most inappropriate. Despite their challenging attitudes and professions of independence, many adolescents do want parental guidance and approval.

Parents should ensure that the basic rules are followed and that logical consequences are set and kept in a nonconfrontational way. The adolescent defiantly takes the car and has an accident. The logical consequence would be that there is no car to drive and that the teenager has to help pay for the repairs. Rules are established for children so they can learn to live cooperatively with others, to teach them to distinguish right from wrong, and to protect them from harm. Children raised without reasonable limits will have difficulty adjusting socially.

The following are some ways that parents can use rules and limits to promote effective discipline:. Three forms of discipline, in particular, are discussed in the current scientific literature:. Time-out is one of the most effective disciplinary techniques available to parents of young children, aged two years through primary school years 5. The time-out strategy is effective because it keeps the child from receiving attention that may inadvertently reinforce inappropriate behaviour. Like any other procedure, time-out must be used correctly to be effective.

It must be used unemotionally and consistently every time the child misbehaves. Research on why time-out works effectively has been published in detail 2 — 5. How time-out is initiated is important, as is what the child does during this time, how time-out is terminated, and what the parent does when it is over. If used properly, time-out will work over time. It may not necessarily eliminate the unwanted behaviour, but it will decrease the frequency. If time-out does not work after repeated tries, a consult is recommended. Parents should be advised that these general guidelines may need to be adjusted to suit the particular temperament of the child.

Parents may have to experiment with the length of time-out, because 1 min per year of age may be too long for some children. Discipline involves teaching positive behaviour as well as changing unwanted behaviour.

An age-by-age guide to disciplining your kid

That is, children need to know what to do as well as what not to do. In general, it is more effective to anticipate and prevent undesirable behaviour than to punish it. An away-from-the-moment discussion can help prevent undesirable behaviour by giving parents the opportunity to teach the child the desirable behaviour in advance. This technique is not appropriate for use in children younger than three years to four years of age 6. The Psychosocial Paediatrics Committee of the Canadian Paediatric Society has carefully reviewed the available research in the controversial area of disciplinary spanking 7 — The existing research is not in the form of double-blind, randomized controlled trials, as such studies would be impossible to conduct.

Moreover, no modern ethics committee is likely to approve research that involves violence against children. The research that is available supports the position that spanking and other forms of physical punishment are associated with negative child outcomes. The Canadian Paediatric Society, therefore, recommends that physicians strongly discourage disciplinary spanking and all other forms of physical punishment.