How To Master Resilience: Be Invincible To Life’s Disappointments And Failures

I am going to remember to celebrate my efforts and not my results!!! I love you Cathy, and your perspective on the world and how to take action and reward the effort is just pure genius. Your mind and heart are both heard so clearly in this video. So many great tips here! When I started out in fitness it seemed impossible to get my first personal training client. On the wall in the gym one week when I was feeling particularly unworthy of a fitness career, I saw what has become my favorite quote:.

This quote helped me stay focused then and during countless other predicaments.

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I recently started my own online fitness business, something many people encouraged me to stay on the sidelines for why not just work in a regular gym? For those of you getting started, remember that success could be just around the corner. Great topic — since every one of us falls down sometime or another, and we have to get up, lick our wounds, and get back on the path again. My devastating failure was about releasing my first product — It was crazy awful! But I still have peaks and valleys, ups and downs, for sure!

I love the insight Cathy shared about counting on having failures and learning how to cope with them… It definitely puts it all in perspective and helps me feel connected and normal about failure! That idea has been a lifesaver for me as I continue to push myself past my upper limits! I think it is something that you need to practice all along. I am a person who loves o try new things , however I still get upset when something goes wrong.

This last weekend I had a small set back and I got really down about it. I tired something new. I told myself that a solution should come. I got busy with something else I did a pros and con about set back on paper worst case scenario and I found that I can live with all of it that in the long run it will not be that big of a deal. I also followed my own advice that its not about the result its about the journey and what I walk away with when its all said a done.

After a couple of days it was not a big deal anymore and I fell secure with what ever the outcome might be. I grew up waterskiing competitively and had to work really hard to get to the top of my game. Failure was my first middle and last name for about 4 years. They give up more easily. Is there data to back this up? How could my boss expect me to do this?

I really need to remember that one failure does not imply complete failure. I take 48 hours to chill and lick my wounds. Any longer and I get depressed. Shorter — I make rash decisions. After my 48 hour cool down, I grab a piece and paper and pen — and start planning another go-around. I do not ask for opinions or insights from others until I have brain-dumped my new plan. When I started my business www. I enjoyed this video, I wish I had this backin when I went back to work full-time, It took me 5 years to become proficient in my work. I failed so many times, The harder I tried the worst off.

My boss kept saying, what is wrong with you.? Why , you cannot get this? Collautt believe me I tried. I thought , wow, what is wrong with,me, am I stupid, dumb, what? I cried so many times, and I even got a poor evaluation which in my thirty years of working: I am still here and I am hearing less of those harsh words. I am still trying, and my mistakes are few.

My question is how long should a person keep trying? Thanks for the advice, Dr. Collaut Thanks so much. You made everthing seem simple and workable. You have a soothing voice. Renee, I think you are over the hump. If you are not crying at work anymore, and you are starting to like the place you find yourself in, then you should keep trying.

I have recently been through a similar situation for the past few years. In my case I kept trying and gave it my all through many tears. Now that I have been successful in a number of projects, I also have the confidence to say that it is time to move on and do something else. This video blew my mind today. Just had a HUGE setback about 20 min ago and when I check my email I find yours… the timing could not have been more perfect. I already feel better. Will have to work on the 4 steps! Thanks Marie and Dr. Confinement is such an important point. It is very difficult for someone who has not experienced what you have to completely understand what you have been through.

Depression is a horrible thing to battle. Forgive me if I am wrong, but it sounds to me like you have been to hell and are still beating yourself up. I personally would like to give you a huge pat on the back for enduring what you have endured. I am sure that you have done some great things in that time that you just shrug off as nothing! I would also like to say that you sound very introspective. That is a great thing, but it means you are a thinker. When you are overwhelmed by too many habitual thoughts, it can create a kind of mucky place to be.

You can forgive yourself because you are moving forward. Also, I have found that the internet is a great source of support if you need it. It has helped me immensely! Probably the most understanding message I have received in a very long time. Still in the middle of things breaking apart.

Everything seems like an excuse, a weakness. It takes a huge leap of faith to change this way of perceiving defeat. Actually, I would like to thank you for not giving up. I firmly believe that we are all in this thing called life together. And we are all fighting the good fight. It may sound strange to others, but to me, the fact that you have persevered through so much — and are willing to keep going — makes you a hero in my book!

Keep going ,keep learning. Stay happy and positive! Jo, pls remember you are worth a happy life and be willing to fight for it ,begin to re orientate your mind from the thoughts that bring you down n focus on the things you like, focus on the positive ,the positive will come. Picture who you want to be and start to act like that ,talk like that and think like that.

Remember to breathe and love yourself , without self love how can you love another, pls take time to love yourself and in turn you would see even your marriage would be nurtured. You are a hero in my books too! Marie, it seems that every Tuesday, the video that you post has been personally created for whatever situation I am struggling with or stumped by!

Thank you for continually posting valuable content that is actionable and meaningful! Rather than dwelling on my failure, I am going to applaud myself for the effort. Thank you thank you thank you. Just loved that — thank you so much. Cathy is Fabulous, love her articulation and depth. What I seem to hear Dr. We failed in that instance. When I first went to university for my undergrad, all I wanted to do was become a music therapist. I never at any point saw it as a impossibility.

Because of some struggles with psychology, I found out in my third year from the dean of music therapy, that I could no longer continue my studies in that program — I would need to finish with a general music degree. I was extremely devastated. I had a chip on my shoulder the whole fourth year of my program, but when I graduated, I discovered this program called Learning Through the Arts, and became an adjunct artist who delivered core curriculum through music in schools.

After quite a few years, decided to return to school and get my Masters of Education and then my teaching degree. I had a lot of success right off the get go, but then it petered out and then had no calls…. That was also a devastating time for me. I allowed myself to cry a lot, but then forced myself to get creative — use my skills and develop my own programming that could be implemented in the area in which I live.

This went well for a while, and then I began to get debilitating back pain; I had to stop working — this was probably the scariest time in my life. I worked with a physical therapist and did was was told to me religiously at home and at the gym; also worked with a counsellor at the time. After eight months, I got the recovery card! I am now able to manage that on my own at the gym — which is very empowering. Clearing out this junk made space for new possibilities. Shortly after this I applied to another school board to become a music teacher, because I heard they were hiring subs.

I received an interview and was successful!!

This was just this past year, and I probably had the most successful year of my life thus far. Recently I had an interview for a long term occasional seniority list in my board, but just got called for a permanent position teaching music at a junior public school!!! I could never have asked for a better job — it was made for me. When I look back at the past four years that I have just written about, what got me through the most, was the determination and knowledge that things always get better; no matter what.

Peace and Blessings to you all on your journey. Beautiful and tough story! I am so happy for you! Those terrible moments were blessings in disguise, they taught me to be a greater version of myself. If we could come in a bit more as our own best, most generous, supportive and encouraging friend… ah the risks we would take, the world we might make, and how sweet life could be!

This was so timely and fantastic for me. Just starting to ask myself how to regroup and grow the Nia dance groups I started last year. It was important for me to remember that I need to applaud myself for trying and I did come a long way during this year. Putting myself in the ring was the biggest step I took in my adult life, at the age of 45!!!

Thanks for this amazing inspirational video! This episode really touched me. And pile up they do, the longer we live. Do the work, and you will increase the quality of your life — fails no fails, wins and losses — immeasurably! Thank you for the turbo-charge. It happened to me. Thank you so much, Marie, for addressing how to get up and change your outlook after skinning your knees!

Something that Malcolm Gladwell, Steven Colbert, and other celebrity authors are now experiencing with the Hachette — Amazon feud. Pushing the tissue box away. The point made that success and failure are on the same path resonated deeply with me.

Both need, even must, be experienced. I think we spend so much time running from the negative feelings and experiences that sometimes we fail to fully live. And we sabotage what we could accomplish otherwise. This episode really, really resonated with me! I am so thankful for this today and at this time. The universe knew I needed to see this today. I am one of those people that tries BIG and puts their heart and soul into everything she does and have failed, and failed BIG!! The point the Dr. Cathy made about not letting it become global is so KEY to me!!

I had a design studio where I built branding and websites for small business clients for 12 years and I ended up closing it 3 years ago during the recession because I was so burned out and feeling so overwhelmed. I had to let my staff go and find a job to care for my two boys.

Right around that time I was widowed and not only was I grieving for the loss of my husband but the loss of my business. I am thankful but it does not feed me. I finally knew about a year ago that it was time to get over myself and try again. I started slowly and started blogging and writing again, this time about self care and loving yourself because I knew that it was what I needed to give to myself.

I am now finding my way back to creating a business that I love. I am currently working on my new business which will be focused on helping women and I am on fire again. It took me a while to get here but I am going to applaud myself for not continuing to sit on the sidelines of my life. Everything I have done in this life has been responsible for the woman that I am today! No failure, has gone without a lesson, teaching me to overcome and to get right back up. I always say now, it is not in the getting up but in the falling down that we are transformed.

Thank you Marie and Dr. Cathy for this wonderful and timely reminder. Because we all need to know how to handle setbacks productively. This is so timely! Thank you for the inspiring video! Such wonderful advice to know that failure does not mean that I am a failure on a fundamental level, but that my endeavor needs reapproaching and this will inevitably happen. As a musician and artist, I feel like I struggle with this stuff constantly.

Okay who thinks Dr. Cathy has the most soothing voice in the universe?! I could listen to her all day! I have to say that I loved your new episode with the wonderful healing energy of Dr. Have I experienced failure and succeeded from it? One woman actually told me that I will never amount to be more than a secretary. That was in high school. I had a few setbacks but, I knew that a certain path was laid out for me. I applied to be a secondary teacher…that door closed. I kicked and screamed but, realized that elementary teacher was more my thing.

I understand the reasons for doors opening and closing at the time. How did I overcome? I looked for new doors to open. I pulled back on my pride and seen better opportunities for my creativity to flourish. So, it is possible to learn that through all of this failure or doors closing that the universe was leading me to a different direction. Trisha, Thank you so much for sharing your story. You are such a shining example of what is possible!! Yes, I have, several times. What did I do? I just kept going. I stopped, really looked at my situation, then made a decision about what I was going to do next.

Once, I made a choice to keep going, I remained intensely focused on the goal until I achieved it. Another time, I had a more difficult time but it was mostly because I created an opportunity and got a little too ambitious at a time when I was making a new decision about where I was headed. This failure was deeper and personal because it involved other people and affected how I felt about myself and my abilities and affected my credibility.

It was a huge challenge to keep going and I avoided people and became withdrawn and depressed. I think this failure has lingered to this day. Apparently, I still have some inner work to do around this! Obviously, I kept going although I have not quite put myself out there since.

Thanks to both of you. I am such a lucky person. I have failed so many times…. In my life, failure has been more common than success. But now I see that it has to be! I also have the added benefit of stubbornness. I never realized how much it has helped me until now! Timely for me as well. The timing of this episode was really good for me. I took a step last year to enhance my skills by quitting my job and taking a software development position with one of the top firms in Chicago.

How does someone bounce back from that? Good question to ponder as I searched endlessly for my car in the 8-story parking garage. As luck would have it, I had already registered to participate in Startup Weekend, which started only a few hours later. After an hour drive home to tell my family what had happened, I returned to the city to take on the world. The job loss in Chicago was just a bump in the path to success.

The global comments hit me like a ton of rocks! THAT is the pattern that I have so wanted to change. Today it is broken. I now have a 3 x 5 card in my purse of course we have the kitchen sink in there — right gals? I think today I have made friends with the failures rather than run from them. Cathy said today was a life changer for me. Marie — have her on again please! Deborah — way to put shiz in action! Love the 3 x 5. Love the making friends instead of foes.

And above all, love that you are coming out of hiding. I think that once you realize as a entrepreneur that failure setbacks are part of the process path , it becomes a bit easier to deal with them. Or is it the violins? Thanks for the seriously educational and encouraging episode! Perfect timing as you two seemed to be talking directly to me.

Thank you, thank you. This could not have come at a better time. As i am in the midst of relocating to another country. Last night i received a phone call from a manager of a position i was hopeful to interview for. The message was that i would not be considered for an interview due to not having enough experience in this particular field.

I felt so shut down, not even an interview? I will come in with passion, zest for life, energy to learn and give my all i said perhaps a seasoned veteran may be burnt out. I said i have never failled anything in my life. She still gave up the chance to interview me. As i hung up tears came down my face. It was not the ugly cry, but tears just running down. Im i not goog enough? I will applaud myself for getting out there and trying. I will celebrate the effort and not the result. Every step towards success may consist of failures, accept, surrender, and release.

From running half-marathons to starting my website — putting myself out there should be given more props than I have been. My setback in life was when I had to close my yoga studio. This studio was my baby and it meant so much to me. After two years of learning the ins and outs of maintaining a business I had come to the realization that things were too heavy on my shoulders.

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ABC Television as a full time graphic designer. I knew in my heart that in the future life will unfold in a way that will have the perfect time and energy on my part to do the work as a businesswoman and yoga teacher. I knew that one day I will be able to open a new space that will impact many more individuals who share the same passion! I think at a certain point you develop a failure muscle that gets stronger and stronger, that you hardly care about the outcome but are more curious to just try. I had a traumatic experience about three years ago and ended up recreating this experience three more times because I had completely lost the ability to trust myself and others.

Along with feeling very alone and unloved, I had no energy to work and make a living even though I was doing what I had previously been very passionate about. Things are going a lot better now. Your classmate has reached her potential. She cannot get better than what she has achieved on this assignment. You on the other hand have a greater potential. To me a failure is just a challenge to get better and to explore your potential.

I love this interpretation of a grade. I wish I thought of it that way when I was still in school! Still, a good way to look at trying in anything. I get very fiery and then shoot words at people in a very non diplomatic way….. Oh Jitka, my friend, you are the only one who can break the cycle. Choose not to banish yourself to underground. By choosing first to not agree that you are worthless. You CAN be master of your domain.

How can that being learn anything? Walk yourself out of that underground Jitka! Be the one to show you you do NOT belong there, mistakes or no mistakes. You belong in the sunshine. Of course you do. You just need love enough — from yourself first — to stay. At the time I was incredibly fearful of public speaking, so scared that even 2 people constituted an audience for me.

After one hour of being interviewed in front of an audience of 6! I focussed on what I could control and prepared diligently. I meditated and constantly repeated affirmations on my 4 hour journey to the conference venue, to make sure not an iota of fear could enter my mind. The best part was, after the event I felt larger than my physical body, I felt invincible! After my first failure I merely tried to learn from my missteps in bar exam preparation during the first attempt a good thing to do, I think!

After the second failure, I put my lawyer hat on, focused on process and procedure like a good lawyer would and merely told myself that no matter what, it would be the last bar exam I took. I knew my desired outcome, but my focus was completely on the process of preparing for the exam. This focus also allowed me the room to focus on how other areas of my life impacted my bar exam prep and make it a part of the process; by the time I took that third exam I was a regular meditator and exerciser, and lost 10 lbs!

I am happy that using this formula has helped me in other areas of my life and are helping the clients I have in my coaching business. I have plenty of reason to celebrate the process of preparing, failing and then passing the bar but I never saw it as a part of the process itself. What if I do? I was hired as a financial adviisor by one of those fly-by-night investment strategy companies and worked for several weeks to pass the Series 6 and 63 exams for licensing by the NASD as well as the GA State Life Insurance and Annuities licensing so that I could sell VULs Variable Universal Life policies — a combination life insurance and investment product.

I was feeling chuffed with myself for passing all of the exams the first time and being the leading seller in the office during my first month! I realized it was all shady, that we were expected to close hard sells and do cold calls without any resources or training from the company — NOT.

I was crestfallen… I resigned after three weeks and went crawling back to my previous job as a graphic designer, tears on my cheeks, gut on fire and pride in shreds. I lived under an umbrella of shame and failure from that event. But I can see how it changed me, allowed me to see when I needed to step back and give things more thought sometimes rather than always going full steam ahead. Mostly, it was through talking about it with friends and a therapist and seeing that, from their perspective, it looked like an incredible feat — the fact that I chose to leave that environment and cut my losses rather than suffer any longer at something I despised just looked like a brilliant decision to them!

I believe some of this fear of failure is similar to PTSD in that how were taught or treated about failure as children remains with us most of our lives unless we do something to overcome the original belief. I was told I was worthless my entire life and never was good enough. As one could imagine failure was something to be avoided, as it would confirm the belief I had learned. To make this short, it shows up everywhere. As an example I married someone that confirmed that belief as crazy as that sounds. I got divorced and used that experience to work on this entire subject. Update to 57 or so.

Failed my thesis professional paper two times. Backed up and thought about another avenue. Was offered the opportunity to complete comprehensive exams and decided to go that route. I graduated May 7, Along the way I learned that process is much more important that content which is what this video is about. How we live determines so much about our lives vs what we have. I know I am the rare male on this page, but to use a sports analogy that seems to fit I always remembered Babe Ruth and his words and records.

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He held the record for the most home runs for decades and is still seen as the most important baseball player in history. He had career home runs and 1, strike outs. Does anyone talk about his strike outs I had to look it up, as I have never heard anyone mention those.

Almost two times as many strike outs as home runs but no one remembers it or talks about the strike outs. I swing as hard as I can. I hit big or I miss big. I like to live as big as I can. Thomas Edison also had some wonderful quotes about failure vs success. I will put two of them on here for examples. I have used these many times to remind myself of exactly what Dr. Coullatt said so eloquently and simply. I am glad to have heard her view of things, as it helped put a new twist on my own journey. I wish I could have heard this 25 years ago. However, I am light years ahead of where I was then.

Loved hearing both of you. I LOVE this episode and so timely needed. Thank you for giving me the permission to selection it off and place to one side. I am so busted!!! I have been playing it safe for too long and I always let minor setbacks turn into global catastrophes in my mind. Such perfect timing with this video! And this video gave me a lot of encouragement. Thank you so much!

This video was so helpful!!! I will revisit it again and again and have spread its wisdom to my friends. Success and failure are on the same path!! Excellent, Nice theme for this episode… How many failures does it take to get to success? Or is Failures just part of the stepping stones all must take to get to success? Not to be afraid of failures, realizing it is part of the game plan. Looking back there have been moments of regret or moments where I asked myself: Did i go totally wrong here?

Especially as I have chosed quite different paths as most of my friends or classmates — a life full of adventure, travel and insecurity. I understood now it has all been a important process and I have learned many things on the way. Thanks for sharing these helpful insights, appreciated it! When I began my own business, I experienced a lot of failures.

Failure is essential to finding your true path. Sometimes, what we go after is not right for us and it fails to work. We have to learn to pick ourselves up again and try again in a new way, with the knowledge we gained. It is a practice that must be cultivated. I am once again blown away by the beautiful wisdom of Dr. Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.

Success is not greedy, as people think, but insignificant. That is why it satisfies nobody. The great person is one who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude. The only question to ask yourself is, how much are you willing to sacrifice to achieve this success? Success is counted sweetest by those who never succeed.

To comprehend a nectar — requires sorest need. The success or failure of a life, as far as posterity goes, seems to lie in the more or less luck of seizing the right moment of escape. Success in life is founded upon attention to the small things rather than to the large things; to the every day things nearest to us rather than to the things that are remote and uncommon. The depth of your mythology is the extent of your effectiveness. There is only one kind of success that really matters: This is the kind of success, the kind of power, that will benefits us and others without causing any damage.

We must walk consciously only part way toward our goal, and then leap in the dark to our success. Success is full of promise till one gets it, and then it seems like a nest from which the bird has flown. Success is a consequence and must not be a goal. Gustave Flaubert Click to tweet. There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all.

Be careful, ever so careful, in trumpeting your own achievements, and always talk less about yourself than about other people. Modesty is generally preferable. Actually, your past successes are your biggest obstacle: Success produces confidence; confidence relaxes industry, and negligence ruins the reputation which accuracy had raised. Without continual growth and progress, such words as improvement, achievement, and success have no meaning. It is not the possession of truth, but the success which attends the seeking after it, that enriches the seeker and brings happiness to him.

You know you are on the road to success if you would do your job, and not be paid for it. One begins to copy oneself, and to copy oneself is more dangerous than to copy others. It leads to sterility. This is the final test of a gentleman: How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because someday in life you will have been all of these.

Those who succeed and are happy know that the goal is to be authentic and memorable and make a difference, not to be understood and liked by everyone. Happiness is not always through success. Equally, the constant pursuit of success is sure unhappiness. But we have to find the balance. A person is a success if they get up in the morning and gets to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do. We need to internalize this idea of excellence. Not many folks spend a lot of time trying to be excellent. You never achieve success unless you like what you are doing.

Life is a succession of lessons enforced by immediate reward, or, oftener, by immediate chastisement. I have the drive to work.

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Perseverance — a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success. It is so hard, you pour so much of your life into this thing, there are such rough moments in time, that most people give up. I know the price of success: Making your mark on the world is hard. If it were easy, everybody would do it. It takes patience, it takes commitment, and it comes with plenty of failure along the way. We all naturally want to become successful… we also want to take shortcuts. The harder you work for something you love, the more meaningful your life becomes.

Through perseverance many people win success out of what seemed destined to be certain failure. Flaming enthusiasm, backed up by horse sense and persistence, is the quality that most frequently makes for success. No matter how much it hurts now, someday you will look back and realize your struggles changed your life for the better. The moment we believe that success is determined by an ingrained level of ability as opposed to resilience and hard work, we will be brittle in the face of adversity. The first step toward success is taken when you refuse to be a captive of the environment in which you first find yourself.

A constant struggle, a ceaseless battle to bring success from inhospitable surroundings, is the price of all great achievements. A man who wants to lead the orchestra must turn his back on the crowd. We get very little wisdom from success, you know.

The Best Success Quotes Ever

Those who try to do something and fail are infinitely better than those who try nothing and succeed. I cannot give you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure: Try to please everybody. Success is sweet and sweeter if long delayed and gotten through many struggles and defeats. It is a mistake to suppose that men succeed through success; they much oftener succeed through failures. Precept, study, advice, and example could never have taught them so well as failure has done.

Frustration, although quite painful at times, is a very positive and essential part of success. Develop success from failures. Discouragement and failure are two of the surest stepping stones to success. Success does not consist in never making mistakes but in never making the same one a second time. Without failure there is no sweetness in success. The road to success is always under construction. Lily Tomlin Click to tweet. When defeat overtakes a man, the easiest and the most logical thing to do is to quit.

No man ever achieved worth-while success who did not, at one time or other, find himself with at least one foot hanging well over the brink of failure. Success is not built on success.

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More failure quotes , humility quotes. It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something. Your ability to learn faster than your competition is your only sustainable competitive advantage.

Successful entrepreneurs may hate hierarchies and structures and try to destroy them. They may garner the disapproval of MBAs for their creativity and wildness. But they have antennae in their heads. When they walk down the street anywhere in the world, they have their antennae out, evaluating how what they see can relate back to what they are doing.

It might be packaging, a word, a poem, or even something in a completely different business. Real success is being totally indulgent about your own trip. You put your blinders on about the garbage and go full speed ahead. To be successful you have to be lucky, or a little mad, or very talented, or find yourself in a rapid growth field. Success is the enemy of learning. It can deprive you of the time and the incentive to start over. The professional has learned that success, like happiness, comes as a by-product of work. The professional concentrates on the work and allows rewards to come or not come, whatever they like.

Every young man would do well to remember that all successful business stands on the foundation of morality. If we go to work at 8 am and go home at 5 pm, this is not a high-tech company and Alibaba will never be successful. If we have that kind of 8-to-5 spirit, then we should just go and do something else.

The secret of my success is a two word answer: Firestone Click to tweet. The doers are the major thinkers. Combining all of those skills together, the art and the science, the thinking and the doing, was what resulted in the exceptional result. Talking about successful polymath Leonardo da Vinci being a chemist, knowing about human anatomy, mixing his own paint, painting, etc.

No matter how successful you are in your career, you must always remember that we are here to live. If you keep yourself busy working, you will surely regret it. We are successful today not because we did a great job today, but because we had a dream 15 years ago, and we believed that the Internet could help small businesses. The biggest hurdle is rejection. Any business you start, be ready for it. When 10 doors are slammed in your face, go to door number 11 enthusiastically, with a smile on your face. Great achievers are driven, not so much by the pursuit of success, but by the fear of failure.

Successful enterprises are built from the ground up. The person who tries to live alone will not succeed as a human being. His heart withers if it does not answer another heart. His mind shrinks away if he hears only the echoes of his own thoughts and finds no other inspiration. The secret of joy in work is contained in one word — excellence. To know how to do something well is to enjoy it. Nothing reinforces a professional relationship more than enjoying success with someone. Coming together is a beginning.

Keeping together is progress. Working together is success. Your successes and happiness are forgiven you only if you generously consent to share them. All those who are around me are the bridge to my success, so they are all important. The success of each of us benefits us all, and the success of us all benefits each of us individually.

A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him. The ideals which have lighted me on my way and time after time given me new courage to face life cheerfully, have been truth, goodness, and beauty… The ordinary objects of human endeavour — property, outward success, luxury — have always seemed to me contemptible. Focusing your life solely on making a buck shows a poverty of ambition. It asks too little of yourself.

And it will leave you unfulfilled. I was working eighteen hours a day, seven days a week, trying to build a business, expand our coverage, and bring in investors. But my life, I realized, was out of control. A trusted advisor can be a dear friend, a coach, therapist or a spiritual counsellor.

They know my patterns and can also call me on my bullshit. I went to see one of them and I probably talked for 45 minutes uninterrupted, unloading my dilemmas and multitude items on my to do list. You are going to have to disappoint some people, but also recognise that you have set a pattern over years of always saying yes and, therefore, their reaction will likely not be very good. So be prepared for that. And although I felt badly about it, I also felt tremendous relief. I carved out some space to breathe, and the need for me to reassess how much capacity I claim to have, to take on more than I can handle.

To be the fixer, the reliable one at all times. I truly believe that in order to maintain integrity and compassion in the very challenging work that we do, we must be honest about our limits, and to above all else, to be able to show ourselves compassion first before we can truly care for others. Take Time for Your Life: Thank you so much Pat for your feedback — this was a really fun article to post and I too felt like it spoke so much to my own life.

I resonate with every word of this blog. Your email address will not be published. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed. We learn these patterns early, and they become embedded in our identity. I went off and disappointed a whole bunch of people. July 26, at 1: July 25, at 8: