You Cant Say You Cant Play

I'm also really happy that educators are thinking about these issues nowadays - the world needs to be a bit nicer, and getting them when they are young is key, as this book clearly demonstrated! Feb 20, Bllu Catalano rated it really liked it. There are factions, heroes and villains, fights, tears and laughter. But—the protagonists are 5 years olds and the setting is a Kindergarten classroom.

Paley is a gifted writer who lifts these little personalities off the page; the children are as fully realized in their thoughts, questions and hopes as any adult. Indeed, their challenges are easily recognizable as ours.

• You Can’t Say You Can’t Play.
• Vietnam, la medaglia d’onore (Italian Edition).
• Terri Brisbin. Pack (Spanish Edition);
• Americas Apple.
• Sharks: A Picture Book of Fun Facts about Sharks for Young Readers Aged 8 and Up;
• You Can't Say You Can't Play by Amanda Johnson on Prezi;
• See a Problem?!

We are taken on a journey in a classroom where Miss Gussin Paley, the teacher and narrator, is confronted by a long-standing enemy: When we hear these phrases we cringe because, as Paley repeatedly notes, this strikes to the very core of us. Paley has faced this opponent many times before, but with inadequate results. Long un-satisfied by her previous defense, she watches exclusion rear its unpleasant head again. We watch distressed, alienated children wilt. But Paley realizes she is ready to take the part of hero.

Perhaps it is her story of Magpie shared in the book that emboldens her. When she finds another student hiding in the cubbies, she is ready to take action. She enacts a new rule: Paley flushes out the conflict with a sensitive eye. She believes that when we—as children—are left to prove ourselves worthy of inclusion, we naturally create exclusion. We create the strangers among us. Strangers, from this early age, are given that label and left to embark a lifetime of alienation. They are jealous of their best friend and want no one else to play with them. They have a fixed idea of who they want to play a part or play their fantasy.

The rejected children then take on that label by sad coincidence. We can stop ourselves, and our children from creating strangers among us. We can recognize each person as a playmate, possible friend, useful partner, and most importantly, an equal part of the group. The journey Paley takes with her students into the new rule reveals complications and obstructions in the unfamiliar territory.

Yet, wonderfully, in this most classic heroic journey, we get to watch these children transform before our eyes. We witness trials, debates and successes until ultimately the grail is reached: Paley learns that the rule develops a safety net allowing the children new freedom beyond reach within the old system.

Released from having to prove worthy before the collective, both the popular and the outcasts blossom. Within the protection of the new rule, the children learn to cooperate, share and include in new ways.

They learn new language and ways of expressing their needs. They shed expectations and roles. We see evidence of enormous growth and unforeseen change. Why is this not universal? That is an inquiry for another quest, and one I intend to go forth and decipher. Dec 24, Sarah rated it liked it.

It's a short book, and it would be about half as long if one excised the italicized interludes relaying a story she wrote for her students and used to catalyze discussion about the "You can't say you can't play" rule. I find these italic sections dull and, to be honest, slightly weird, but Paley is incredibly sensitive and her observations have me completely in thrall.

Obviously, what the kids say to one another, and the extent and manner of their reflections on their own behavior, is fascinating, but I've also been struck by Paley's honesty about her own ambivalence about implementing the rule, and by how that ambivalence coexists with her refreshing moral clarity about some aspects of classroom life. Though she wonders whether it is right to use the power conferred by her role as the teacher to forbid students from excluding their peers from "private" play, she believes strongly that school cannot be safe for children as long as their rejections of one another are condoned there— even tacitly.

The fact that such rejections are condoned, as a matter of course, seems to make her angry. What seems to be the source of this indignation is Paley's observation that her students aren't taking turns in the role of outsider: It's always the same kids who are excluded, and over time this destroys their happiness, their ability to succeed in school, and their ability to behave in ways that might attract peer approval. I almost cried when I read Paley's account of a conversation with a student who habitually excludes others: And the sadder people become the more we'd like not to be around them.

Ultimately, what Paley does with this state of affairs that is so brilliant, I think, is to highlight the fundamental tension between individual rights and responsibility to the community as it manifests itself in her classroom. This tension is inherent in social life and I think anyone who thinks about politics at all has consciously considered it, in the context of some particular social problem if not several. Paley reminds us that, even though we tend not to think about what goes on between Kindergarteners in the same way that we think about, say, constitutional law or federal tax policy, the rules of elementary school classrooms— including those consciously made, like hers, but also those that arise on their own and are re-adopted by default year after year— do communicate positions on these questions to children.

Paley ultimately justifies the way "You can't say you can't play" limits "private" social behavior e. This reminded me of my own elementary school classrooms, in which a doodle inscribed on a desk invariably resulted in a post-recess sermon from the teacher. I remember that they always told us that the furniture in the room, like the books on the shelves and the toys we shared, did not belong to the school; it belonged to all of us in common— to the teacher, to the students of our class, and to the younger children who would use the room in the coming years.

We were taught that it was our job to care for common property, but we were rarely made responsible for maintaining less tangible communal goods.

I don't recall any adult ever having suggested that a student's individual right to select her own friends could be limited, in the shared space of the classroom, by her responsibility to make the school community a safe place for everyone to learn. May 14, Suzanne rated it it was ok Shelves: I think the central idea is interesting, but there were too many distractions First, it's written in present tense. I'm not sure what she was trying to achieve with that, but present tense narratives even make me crabby when I'm reading fiction.

This is nonfiction and supposedly relaying a study of sorts "This American Life" included a segment on Paley's work for the Cruelty of Children episode which was excellent, by the way , and while I enjoyed that piece, this book didn't do much for me. This is nonfiction and supposedly relaying a study of sorts, so I was even more annoyed. Second, she threaded a fairy tale throughout, which didn't work for me at all.

I read the first couple sections of it, but skipped the rest. I'm wondering if she intends for those portions to be read in classrooms hoping to implement the "You can't say I just couldn't get into it. The discussions with her young students were interesting though. Kids described why they most often rejected certain classmates and explained the appeal of appointing a "boss" with veto power vs. They also talked about the distinction between play in the classroom vs.

A classroom is a public place, but should friendliness usurp fun as a rule? Is it more important to protect the feelings of the excluded or the fun of those who are included? Is it possible to be fair to everyone? Great fodder for discussion, but unfortunately the book is not even pages and half of it is that fairy tale. I thought the NPR piece delivered it all much better. Mar 19, Stephanie rated it really liked it. I'm reading this now for a class. Vivian Paley has been very influential for my practice with children. She writes simply about her daily role in her classrooms and about her responses to the children.

Her work is deep and authentic. She has high expectations for herself and the children she works with, and a huge amount of respect. In this book she is dealing with children's rejection of each other in play.

1. PRESCRIPTION: MURDER.
2. You Can’t Say You Can’t Play — Vivian Gussin Paley | Harvard University Press.
3. Frequently bought together.
4. “You can’t say, ‘You can’t play.’”.
5. Summary: A Nation Like No Other: Review and Analysis of Newt Gingrichs Book.

It is an action research piece, with Paley trying to uncover the roots of the rejection I'm reading this now for a class. It is an action research piece, with Paley trying to uncover the roots of the rejection from both sides. She talks with past students about the issue and tries to reach consensus with her current group of 5 year olds about making a new rule, You Can't Say You Can't Play. My kids are still dealing with the beginnings of the awareness about the power they hold in pretend play situations, and the older ones are more used to the role than the younger.

When I tried to enforce the rule, the younger children were allowed to play, but the older ones still found ways of rejecting them, and therefore exerted power. Apr 19, Mira Solomon rated it did not like it Shelves: While I totally agree that the issue of exclusion in classrooms must be tackled by teachers, I found this book to be an awful read.

I really did not enjoy the author's style of writing and generally found it rather over-the-top. Also, the whole concept of the book seemed to be arguing a point that most ECE teachers already agree with at this point. She seemed to alternate between wa While I totally agree that the issue of exclusion in classrooms must be tackled by teachers, I found this book to be an awful read. She seemed to alternate between wanting to be the center of attention and not wanting to speak up and take control of her classroom.

I also bothered me that she did not allow the children more ownership in the process of creating this rule. Overall, I really felt that this book was outdated even for when it was written. Aug 02, Louise rated it it was amazing. Paley explores the suggestion of inclusion in this introspective quick read. After years of teaching kindergarten, Paley was frustrated with the exclusion of some children over and over again at play. So she began talking with children about a new idea - 'you can't say you can't play. It's fascinating to hear the children talk about their Fascinating idea It's fascinating to hear the children talk about their experiences of rejection which we all share and their belief about whether this idea could work.

Her conversations with kids about all kinds of personal issues are included and truly enlightening. Apr 09, Kathleen rated it it was ok. I've been interested in kids and social exclusion, and the parts of the book that detail Paley's in-class experiment were fascinating: A large part of her work is done through storytelling, and the parallel narrative with the princess, magpie, dragon, etc. Sep 20, Jackie rated it really liked it Shelves: This gave me a lot to think about in my work with preschoolers.

It's a kindergarten teacher's story of addressing her students' rejection and exclusion of other children in their play. She thought, How do children develop the behavior of rejection--when do they lose their empathy for playmates--and can we prevent it?

“You can’t say, ‘You can’t play.’”

She instituted a new rule for her class: You can't say to any classmate , "You can't play. She also talked to children in older grades, who recognized that even though rejection was painful to everyone, they had already developed a social world in which they felt a firm rule against rejection wouldn't work.

Think about our society today. When we exclude certain others from our group, it harms everyone. We learn less and less about people who are different, and our ignorance leads us to become more and more rejecting. I like how Vivian Gussin Paley just threw herself into challenging a social rule she thought was seriously harmful to children's development.

The 'real life' story alternates with an ongoing fairy tale narrative Ms. Paley created for and with her class, that I found less compelling. May 10, Arielle rated it liked it Shelves: At first I was wondering if this was going to be a philosophy of "everyone has to be friends", which I don't think works, but it isn't. Cartoon by Marcia Liss. Teachers of young children often feel that their efforts to correct excluding and bullying behavior fall short. The children may mouth the correct words Sorry or We'll play with her later , but the adults know they aren't really sorry and they don't really intend to include the rejected child in the next game.

Perhaps teachers are expecting too much from kids. After all, the world is certainly cruel enough, and the adults in charge don't seem to be able to do much to change that reality. When I was director of Cherry Preschool in Evanston, Illinois, we decided to tackle this issue head on. We borrowed the ideas of Vivian Gussin Paley. Paley states that the classroom is not a private place. Just as there are rules governing a multitude of school behaviors, there should be a rule governing the right of all children to participate.

In addition, she believes children are often excluded from play out of habit rather than for any real reason. In other words, "exclusion is written into the game of play. And play, as we know, will soon be the game of life.

Customers who bought this item also bought

New friendships were forged as children got to know other children. Children felt relieved even the ones who did most of the excluding. Read more Read less. Add both to Cart Add both to List. Buy the selected items together This item: Ships from and sold by Amazon. Customers who bought this item also bought.

Page 1 of 1 Start over Page 1 of 1.

Visionaries "If You Can't Say Love"

The Importance of Fantasy Play. The Girl with the Brown Crayon: Here's how restrictions apply. Don't have a Kindle? Try the Kindle edition and experience these great reading features: Share your thoughts with other customers. Write a customer review. Read reviews that mention say play new rule rule say vivian paley must read reading this book elementary school story of magpie recommend this book teacher and parent great book easy read kindergarten teacher children being excluded children being exclude young children book is a great want to play great read read it for a class.

Showing of 61 reviews. Top Reviews Most recent Top Reviews. There was a problem filtering reviews right now. Please try again later. I used this book decades ago to guide me in establishing a positive classroom climate for my young students. I bought it this time for my daughter who's a child and family counselor. She loves it and is also sharing it with her daughter's kindergarten teacher.

Brilliant work in inclusion in schools. Stop bullying before it starts. Many have built upon this key work, but it was great to read the original! Such an important work, can't stress that enough. When we teach kids another way, the positive effects just ripple through all of their social interactions. One person found this helpful. This book was purchased as a required textbook for a class I was taking in college. It really is a good book for introducing an anti-bias program into a classroom.

It asks good questions, and it will work in a preschool classroom as well as the higher grades. It show how to gradually introduce a new program into a curriculum. It talks about accepting diversity and differences.