Cross My Heart: From Hurt to Healing

This does not mean that you deny feeling upset or hurt. You have to allow yourself to feel what you feel, but you do not let those sad feelings paralyze you. Allow yourself to have one day of a pity party, and then move forward. Being stuck is not attractive nor does it do anything positive. If a relationship does not work, be thankful. It means it is not good for you. When I look back at all my experiences where my heart was broken, I am so thankful that none of those relationships worked out. If some of those experiences worked out as I had wished, I think I would have ended up in a far worse situation.

Kind of ironic, right? There is one law of life that we all need to embrace and that is: If something is good for you, it will happen. If something is not good for you, it will not happen. Any relationship can be healed if people are willing to be open and honest. The blame game never solves anything. If a relationship or a situation requires a lot of work to make it happen, then there is a chance that it is not meant to be. Dating is great but marriage is a totally different adventure.

If you are having tons of problems while dating, marriage will not necessarily make it easier. If anything, it might magnify all the issues. If a situation or relationship comes to an end , please do not think you are a failure. Failure only occurs when you do not learn from the experience. And the irony is that often a lesson is repeated until it is learned. So be gentle on yourself. One of the many things about the heart is that no matter how much it gets hurt , it still has the capability to love. It may get wounded and scarred but it is resilient.

To live a life based on love is one of the greatest things you can do. Love is not weak. Love knows when to give and when to stop. Fear , on the other hand, is a weakling. It whines and cries and never seems to shut up. That is until you learn to just view it as a whiny little brat. It is easy to give in to fear. Fast-forward to almost a year later, though, and we had broken up. Travel didn't cause the breakup; it was one of those splits when you know there's much more to the story, but you also never get the full truth. Because it came out of the blue, I was understandably devastated.

My ex and I had planned a life together, and all of a sudden these plans had vanished. I felt lost and unsure of what to do next, however, the one thing I did know was that I didn't want to let the breakup overwhelm me. I look back and realise that I subconsciously knew exactly what I needed to do in order to pull myself up and out. Within days of us breaking up, I started looking into trips that I could take. Through a lot of uncertainty, I planned a city escape in Barcelona, immediately followed by a writer's retreat in Skyros, Greece.

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There was a part of me that was worried about being alone on the road — after all, I had spent the previous year travelling with my partner. Yes, I had travelled solo before, but it suddenly felt scary and overwhelming. I didn't want that to hold me back, though; travel was a major passion of mine before I had met my ex and I wasn't going to allow anything to take that away from me. A close friend of mine said something at the time that stuck with me. It can also do more, read how travel saved the Travelluster's life. Despite my reservations, travelling was the best thing I did post-breakup.

In Barcelona, I slowly started to feel like myself again and quickly faced my fear of being solo. I will admit that doing things like sitting on my own to dine felt odd at first, but I quickly started to find the joy I had found in it years previously when I was single. I used to love the liberating feeling of being alone — whether at a bar or in a restaurant — enjoying my own company and knowing I had the power to do so. Thanks to the trip, I also started to value my freedom and the fact that as a freelance writer I have the ability to design my life the exact way that I want it to be.

More importantly, being alone in the city made me feel strong, fierce and in control again.

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In Skyros, I crossed paths with people who have made a massive difference to my life and whom I would have never met had I not travelled. We cried together, laughed together, swam in the Aegean sea, ate meze , and drank ouzo until the sun came up.



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In the writing workshops, I felt my passion for creative writing come back as strong as it had been years back before dreams of writing a novel fell to the wayside. I quickly decided that I wanted to keep up the momentum once I had left Greece, and this led me to write 50, words during National Novel Writing Month last November.

Support of Friend, Family and Travel

I continued on and found myself in Germany and Austria. While in Munich, I constantly felt inspired by a city that's so historic and culturally-rich; I trawled the Christmas markets, saw part of the genital variety at Brandhorst Museum don't ask! The trip helped me to see that I have the rest of my life to look forward to, and I began making exciting new plans for the future. When I look back over the past eight months I realise that, along with the support of my amazing friends and family, travel helped me mend my broken heart.

And I'm so glad that I did — I've stayed true to who I am as a person as a result. I believe travel has a transformative power that can help us to see beyond whatever difficulties we're experiencing in our personal lives, so I've started blogging more about how we can make our travels more meaningful. In my case, travelling helped the healing process of the breakup; I honestly believe that had I not travelled, it would have taken longer than it did to get back on track. Research repeatedly shows us that travel is good for our mental health. Experts say that part of the reason is because it interrupts our daily routine and encourages us to see things differently.

While we travel, we're also forced out of our comfort zones, which enables us to be more present in the moment. Both of these things helped me to keep looking forward and pushed me to make new plans. They need Jesus just like you and me. That kind of healing can only come from Christ moving powerfully in a person totally submitted to Him. You are released from the prison of unforgiveness which once enslaved you. A load has been lifted, you feel much better. No more haunting moments of wrath towards your offender.

No more restless nights wishing they could suffer like you have.

Forgiveness – Healing For The Soul

No more vengeful feelings. Eventually your fears and post traumatic stress resulting from severe emotional wounds caused by the offender will also evaporate as you heal. The more serious traumas may require Christian Counseling but it will still be Christ who helps you forgive and heals you totally. Powerful long lasting healing comes from Christ, ultimate healing poured out from Him as He forgave us from the cross.

Forgiveness heals us and our broken relationships. Forgiving someone does not always lead to a restored relationship with that person. You may not associate with them but you are free from your past unforgiveness toward them. Forgiveness always results in your wholeness and restoration.

You let Him help you let go. Forgiveness benefits us physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Daily cleansing and renewal from God come when we confess, repent, and forgive. Walk in a constant state of forgiveness. Be ready to forgive before people offend you. It simply means we are ready to forgive because Jesus Christ forgave us and commands that we forgive others.

We prove our love for Jesus by obeying Him. It will change your life! Move with His Passion, Love, and readiness to forgive. This should be the Christian mindset. People will betray you. They will break your heart. Despite the pain inflicted on us, no matter how wrong the offense, you and I must forgive.

Do it and see what happens. You will never be disappointed when you trust God. Abide in Christ and be ready to forgive. The Counselor Articles and Newsletters — may be waived without asking permission with the condition that full credit is given to its source with the address and if the contents are not altered. Your email address will not be published. Pointing you to the original Soul Healer. Ultimate Healing It really hurts when someone close betrays you. Unforgiveness Forgiveness is no longer holding what someone did to you against them.

The offense was too great. Something keeps me from forgiving. Why We Forgive We forgive because Christ forgave us. Our need for forgiveness. Our forgiveness from God. Freedom from demonic torment. Our need to focus upon the Lord and His Faithfulness. Frees us from focusing on our past offenses, and allows us to live for today.

Transferring what happens next to God. Forgiveness should not be confused with: Saying the offense is of no importance. Saying you are of no importance.

My heart: hurting and healing

Commitment to relate in the future. Ceasing to be appalled that it happened. Believing it is okay with God that it happened. Believing you are not justified in being very angry. Understand that forgiveness is a process.

Think Simple Now — a moment of clarity

Go to God and ask for His strength. Approach the other person first. Send it or Hold onto it.



Allow God to heal you, grieve and let go completely of the offense and pain over time.