A Journey to Disgrace - Part-Two-of-Three

The Shaws also minister to burned and weakened David Awakening himself and Lucy in the middle of the night by a dream of trying to save Lucy, David tries to get back to sleep, can't, and spends the rest of the night "watching over his little girl, guarding her from harm, warding off the bad spirits" Early the next morning, Bev shakes her head at David's anxious inquiries about Lucy--as if to say "Not your business.

He wonders whether Lucy and Helen consider "Raping a lesbian worse than raping a virgin: She has, but he irritates her by assuming her doctor must be male When she announces her intention to return "to the farm and clean up," David protests that "it's not a good idea.

Because it's not safe. I'm not going back for the sake of an idea. I'm just going back" Bev changes David's dressings and David wonders whether the goat at the clinic felt "the same peacefulness" while she worked on him David asks Bev about Lucy's doctor, worried because Lucy's rape exposes her to the risk of pregnancy, venereal infection and HIV; but Bev tells him he must ask Lucy himself Past eleven, David is at loose ends while he waits for his daughter to emerge, and paces the Shaws' garden.

For the first time he has a taste of what it will be like to be an old man, tired to the bone, without hopes, without desires, indifferent to the future. Slumped on a plastic chair amid the stench of chicken feathers and rotting apples, he feels his interest in the world draining away from him drop by drop.

It may take weeks, it may take months before he is bled dry, but he is bleeding. When that is finished, he will be like a fly-casing in a spiderweb, brittle to the touch, lighter than rice-chaff, ready to float away" He realizes he cannot expect help from his daughter, who must "work her own way back from the darkness to the light," but he realizes he is indifferent to the farm--"let it all go to the dogs, I do not care"-- and balks at the idea of accepting responsibility for the farm in the interim Like a leaf on a stream, like a puffball on a breeze, he has begun to float toward his end.

The blood of life is leaving his body and despair is taking its place, despair that is like a gas, odorless, tasteless, without nourishment. You breathe it in, your limbs relax, you cease to care, even at the moment when the steel touches your throat" Two young policemen arrive, Lucy emerges from Bev's bedroom, Bev drives Lucy and David out to the farm, with the policemen behind The dogs' corpses lie in the cages, though Katy , the bulldog, has escaped and is glimpsed skulking about the stables David hangs back, noticing the kitchen has been cleaned up and Lucy's bed stripped bare, but remains silent, as Lucy takes the policemen through the house and gives her version of the crime The policemen depart, telephone repairmen arrive, then neighbor Ettinger, who instructs David that it could have been "worse" if they had taken Lucy away with them Alone with Lucy at last, David offers to bury the dogs, asks why she did not tell "the whole story," but does not press her for a full response David imagines that the three invaders will watch the newspapers, listen to gossip, realize they are 'being sought for robbery and assault and nothing else," and feel victorious when they decide the woman they raped is " too ashamed to tell " Burying six full-grown dogs, David imagines the mindset of the assailants: A satisfying afternoon's work, heady, like all revenge" When David returns to the house, he finds Lucy installing herself a camp bed in the musty old pantry, offers her the room in which he has been staying, and moves himself into Lucy's bedroom--the scene of the crime where she refuses now to sleep Gently, David tries to question Lucy about why she did not reported her rape.

Rather, Lucy says, "what happened to me is a purely private matter" because it happened in "South Africa" today, and "It is my business, mine alone" David vehemently argues against what he assumes Lucy means--that her silence will save her skin and make the fire of vengeance pass her by in future, or will secure her "some form of private salvation" and "expiate the crimes of the past by suffering in the present" But Lucy insists that David's abstractions are off target, that he misreads her, and ends the conversation. He is shaken" He wishes Ettinger could be there to fix the place up.

Katy is coxed out hiding The same day Petrus makes his return. The driver of the lorry and him begin unloading, cartons, creosoted poles, sheets of galvanized iron, a role of plastic piping, and finally, with much noise and commotion, two half grown sheep Why did Petrus not tell anyone he was leaving? David decides to let this pass for Lucy right now. Lucy keeps to herself, expresses no feelings, and shows no interest in anything around her David spies on Petrus and thinks to himself why he has not come to check on Lucy.

They have a conversation and Petrus responds oddly and still does not ask about Lucy Petrus finally asks David if Lucy will go to the market tomorrow if she does not she will lose her stall. Lucy tells David to go the market with Petrus she feels disgraced. He sits beside Petrus and commiserates with people asking about Lucy He reads their story as reported in the Harold. There is little for him to do Petrus does all the work.

As of yet Petrus has offered no explanation for his absence Petrus is a neighbor who at present happens to sell his labour, because that is what suits him David may somewhat like Petrus but he is also suspicious of him. Petrus has a vision of the future in which people like Lucy have no place He is grappling with the Idea Petrus hired these men to teach Lucy a lesson. He tells him I find it hard to believe these men were strangers.

He is getting angry at Petrus and just wants him to say what an injustice has happened. Violation is the word he would like to force out of Petrus David is now busy doing all of the things Lucy use to do. His wounds are in the process of healing. He wants to make sure Rosiland does not here the story in some garbled form He composes a dispatch; Lucy and I have had some bad luck.

My car was stolen, and there was a scuffle too, in witch I took a bit of a knock Lucy is not improving. He is loosing himself day by day. The demons do not pass him by He remember the Byron project, he does need to go on reading. Of the entire books only two volumes are left. The rest were in the stolen car. David is almost happy about this.

There is no desire to stare at the blank page that surly would be before him. Will this be where the dark trio are at last brought to life; not in Cape Town but in old Kaffraria ? The chapter starts out the day after the attack. The neighbor Ettinger offers to give Lucy a gun and makes the suggestion that they take more safety precautions, but he knows that Lucy will not listen. Both Lucy and David know that having guns and dogs are just a false sense of security. Later that day, Petrus comes back after disappearing for a few days.

He and his wife arrive in a cab, dressed nicely and ready to go to the market to sell their goods. Lurie asks Petrus if heard about the robbery, and he replied that he had, however he did not ask how Lucy was doing or any details of what happened.

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Lurie found it very odd that Petrus disappeared right when the robbery happened, and showed back up afterwards. Lurie finds this coincidence very odd. Despite what happened, Petrus encourages them to go to the market because if they do not go, they will lose their booth spot. Lurie continues to distrust Petrus throughout the chapter. On page , Lurie confronts Petrus about the robbery while cleaning out algae from the dam.

Petrus shoes no knowledge at all of the robbery, acting very calm and collected. Lurie began to get worked up about finding justice for his daughter and all Petrus has to say is that Lurie had a right to feel that way. Lucy becomes more and more isolated over the next few days, so Lurie begins to pick up the slack around the farm while also taking care of Lucy. At the end of the chapter, Lurie finds himself staring at a blank page, trying to begin his Byron project. After the robbery, the neighbor Ettinger and Lurie believe that the house should be turned into a fortress, however both know that Lucy will be unwilling.

She loves her land and she will not agree to all the security, nor will she agree to leave. She is here because she loves the land and the old landliche way of life. If that way of life is doomed, what is left for her to love? Guns and dogs will do nothing against the violence.

Being a white south Africans in the country makes them in danger at all times. Lurie is frustrated that he has no evidence of Petrus being involved in the robbery and what happened to Lucy. He had many conversations to Petrus about the crime, hoping to get some kind of reaction, but receiving nothing. During one conversation with Petrus he said: I find it hard to believe the reason the robbers picked on us was simply that we were the first white folk they met that day. What do you think? The way he acts makes me think he definitely had something to do with what happened.

Petrus returned from getting building materials and David thinks it is suspicious that he happen to be gone during the time of the incident. David suspects Petrus had something to do with the incident or at least knew about it and questions him. The two argue because David doesn't think that Petrus has taken the situation as seriously as he should have.

The chapter ends with David going in to town and realizing that this trip was supposed to be about himself and getting his life back on track but instead it has become about taking care of his daughter and dealing with the incident and its repercussions. I think that by David having to take care of someone else he is in turn helping himself.

David is a very self involved person and it is a god thing that he has to start thinking about others for a change. At this point in the book, Disgrace, the violent attack on David Lurie and his daughter Lucy has come and gone, and while they may still be changing and attempting to heal from their very vicious and very different assaults it seems that the worst of it is over. However, it only seems that way, both David and Lucy are becoming less and less of the people they used to be, and at this juncture, which is chapter 15, these days they spend out in that far off country house push them apart from each other and into further isolation.

Set them free on the public road? Pen them up in the dog-cages and feed them hay? Why this sudden and strange connection with these Persian sheep. Are they really just his lemmings, since he has no control or influence on the way his daughter feels and behaves? There is dancing going on, to the old fashioned African jazz he had heard.

One of the attackers eventually shows up to the gathering, David flips and quickly leaves with his daughter, making for the house where he intends to phone the police as to the whereabouts of one of their assailants. If you call in the police, the evening will be destroyed for him. David is shocked, of course. How could Lucy, who was victimized the worst in the assault, not want justice, not want to put this guy behind bars, not want to put an end to this whole maddening pass in their lives?

Lucy has assumed responsibility for the antiquitous crimes of the white South African race, and this is how she has commissioned to clear up that nasty history. David has forced this vast distance between Lucy and himself that may never be gapped. Both are still suffering and struggling to come to terms with the horrific incident. Petrus expresses that the sheep are for a party that David and Lucy are invited to. Since Petrus ignores his pleas to remove the sheep, David moves them to a grassy spot to graze in himself. It soon becomes evident that David did not move the sheep solely because they were noisy.

David even considers purchasing the sheep, but realizes that Petrus will only buy more slaughter animals and pocket a profit. Lucy gets dressed up for the party, and although David normally criticizes internally her lack of consideration for her physical appearance, he finds himself put off by her effort. She insists that he put a tie on and they head to the party. The only two whites at the party, David is reluctantly eating, Lucy is dancing, when Lucy spots the boy who was involved in the attack.

Lucy wants to leave without making a fuss, but David is uninterested in letting the boy who assaulted his daughter escape unscathed. David confronts the boy and threatens to call the police. But in the end David is steadfast in his opinion. And if that spoils their get together so be it. He lifts a hand to his white skull cap.

This chapter starts off by Petrus throwing a party in celebration for his land transfer. In preparation for the event he buys two sheep which are to be the main course of the meal. Lurie finds this very unpleasing since the animals will be eaten by the people that were just feeding and petting them, Lucy finds this thought of his as ludicrous.

Lucy then persuades her father to go to the party wearing a tie because in Petrus home, a tie is what would be accepted. The party is held in an old stable without real floors or ceiling. Lurie and Lucy are also the only whites at the party. I am not any more the dog-man Coetzee Lucy interprets this statement as joke, not actually accepting it for real truth.

Next, Lucy gives Petrus an Ashanti a bedspread for a gift on the land transfer and the soon to be baby that Petrus wishes to be a boy. Towards the end of the party Lucy and Lurie notice that one of the three robbers is in attendance at the party. Lucy immediately wishes to leave, but Lurie confronts the young boy and demands that Lucy confirms his identity and calls the police to make an arrest. Lucy takes no action and the two of them leave home, where Lurie insists that Lucy still take action. She insists that her father stay out of her affairs and give her some privacy.

Lurie then notices the bond of father and daughter is not the same as it once was and that their relationship had turned into one of a husband and wife which quarrel and argue. David Lurie questions himself about why he has taken over the task of incinerating the dead dogs euthanized in Bev Shaw's clinic. Ultimately Lurie decides that he has done so "For himself. For his idea of the world, a world in which men do not use shovels to beat corpses into a more convenient shape for processing" Disgrace ch.

The kombi is loaded. As a last chore Lurie is mopping the floor of the surgery Bev offers to do this for Lurie as she knows he needs to return. The conversation turns to his life and how different it is. You must miss your own circle. You must miss having women friends, Lurie seems sure Lucy must have told Bev he has not had much luck with women recently. He admits I caused the women in question at least as much trouble as she caused me. Bev turns the conversation to the fact Lucy told her, you had to leave the university. She asks if he regrets what happened.

Curious how the whiff of scandal excites women He exclaims he regrets nothing. He believes she knows what it is like to lose her self in her emotions. He is trying to imagine her as a younger woman. On an impulse reaches out and runs a finger over her lips Nothing happened after that moment and he leaves the clinic without another word to her. The next afternoon there is a call from her, can we meet at the clinic, at four He knows what she wants and loves her innocence.

He knows the clinic is closed today. They fall into each others arms in the surgery room. As she is getting ready he thinks to himself never did I dream I would sleep with a Bev. She grasp his hand, passes him something. All thought out beforehand, from beginning to end David Lurie is feeling succored by a woman. After the sweet young flesh of Melanie Isaacs, this is what I have come to. Bev says she has to go. He gets up feeling no shame in not wearing anything. Bev presses her head to his chest at the door he feels compelled to let her dictate the rest of the night.

His thoughts briefly go to Emma Bovary.

Well, let poor little Bev Shaw go home and do some singing too. And let him stop calling her poor little Bev Shaw. If she is poor, he is bankrupt Shaw asked him and wondered if he was sad that you left his town and if he was lonely. He then put his finger on her lips and she gave into the sexual wanting. Shaw was not like the other girls either she was more serious and mature. Lurie could not decide if you quit liked it or not compared to his college doings. He is just used to the more toned younger bodies.

But then his mind goes instantly to a young college girl. Him going to Grahamstown is to help him get away from women and to find himself so he does not want sex so much. Three Cups of Tea describes Mortenson's transition from a registered nurse and mountain-climber to a humanitarian committed to reducing poverty and elevating education for girls in Pakistan and Afghanistan.

Following the beginnings of his humanitarian efforts, Mortenson co-founded the Central Asia Institute CAI , a non-profit group that, as of , reported overseeing the construction of over schools.

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The book's title was inspired by a saying Haji Ali shared with Mortenson: The second time you take tea, you are an honored guest. The third time you share a cup of tea, you become family In April , critiques and challenges of the book and Mortenson surfaced. Author Jon Krakauer alleged that a number of Mortenson's claims in the book are fictitious and accused him of mismanaging CAI funds. In , mountaineer Greg Mortenson attempted to climb K2 , the world's second highest mountain , located in the Karakoram range of Gilgit-Baltistan , as a way of honoring the memory of his deceased sister, Christa.

As a memorial, he had planned to lay her amber necklace on the summit of K2. After getting lost during his descent, alone, he became weak and exhausted. Instead of arriving in Askole , where his porters awaited, he came across Korphe , a small village built on a shelf jutting out from a canyon. He was greeted and taken in by the chief elder of Korphe, Haji Ali. Mortenson soon found out that the village had no school. To repay the remote community for their hospitality, Mortenson recounted in the book that he promised to build a school for the village.

After difficulties in raising capital, Mortenson was introduced to Jean Hoerni , a Silicon Valley pioneer who donated the money that Mortenson needed for his school. According to the book, Mortenson faced many daunting challenges in his quest to raise funds for the building of more than 55 schools in Taliban territory. Some of these challenges included death threats from Islamic mullahs, long periods of separation from his family, and being kidnapped by Taliban sympathizers. Though Mortenson and Relin are given equal credit for authoring the Three Cups of Tea , it is written from Relin's perspective as a journalist interviewing and observing Mortenson.

In the introduction, Relin admitted that his desire to see Mortenson's project succeed likely influenced his objectivity as a reporter. Mortenson fought against the subtitle, and the edition sold only 20, copies. View all 7 comments. Disgrace picks up right where Loyalty left off. I'm so glad I waited till this was out before starting the duet, I'm too impatient to wait between books and need to read the story in one go. And, it was so worth waiting for. Disgrace pulls everything together, their journey to their happy was a battle, no two ways about it.

Both John and Siena had everything stacked against them yet through it all they remained loyal and true to each other, never wavering in their love for each other. They trul Disgrace picks up right where Loyalty left off. They truly are each other's person. What totally worked for me was getting inside Johns head through both books, and seeing and even feeling his pain, confusion, uncertainty and definitely his strong feelings of inadequacy due to his disease.

The feels were crushing at times. And the best bit of that This duet is exceptional, John's pain bleeds through the pages but then so does the healing. I love that this was kept so real, there is no miracle cure for him and there never will be. Thank you Bethany-Kris for keeping this so real.

I said this in my review for Loyalty, but it bears repeating - this is by far my favourite story by Bethany-Kris, and let's face it - I've floved them all. No words bar phenomenal. Mar 14, Snow rated it it was amazing Shelves: I never doubted it. Johnathan Marcello had a turmoiled path ahead of him. Dealing with his illness, his weakness as he often said BUT he chose to fight it.

To grasp it and control it. Siena I had to choose stability. Not just for now, or for a while, or even for a few years. I had to choose stability for the rest of my life. Because he could just as easily choose to refuse meds, to self-medicate, or to live his life in a constant spiral of hypomania, full blown mania, and depression.

A vicious cycle that would continue to hurt him, and those around him. And as the war rages on between the two rival families, Calabreses and Marcellos, John and Siena put their love on hold, stealing meetings, and rare times together as much as possible, when Siena's life has turned into a hardship and a lockdown from her side of the family. BUT she would endure it all, for the sake of them being together at one point. And to fulfill her promise to her love for Johnathan, she takes upon herself a dangerous task of providing an inside information for the Marcellos, and the actions against the family that only connected her by the same name, and by nothing else.

She would endure it. They were one step closer to finishing this forever. Her forever was almost there. She fought for him. She had his back. It's your life-your business. Those doors are shut, John.

You seem a little too good to be true when it comes to us. And you know damn well I was made for you, John. She had been his catalyst. She had been his saving grace. She was his everything. Now, that part made my heart beat a little faster in overwhelmed emotion of admiration, as this man, Lucian proved and showed, over and over again, not only with his words of support and love for his son, but also with his actions It is moments in your life during darker times.

Moments in witch you were not entirely yourself. Moments when you still needed help you were not getting Yet, you were so focused, John, even on your worst days, and in your darkest moments. You had a goal that never changed in your life, and I wasn't sure whether to be proud, or terrified because of it You're not a disgrace to this family. You could never be, John I'm pretty much overwhelmed and stunned by the poised emotional tick I got through out the story as Bethany-Kris presented a gravely serious topic while incorporating it so effortlessly into the neverending dangerous turmoil of the mafia life.

View all 5 comments. The second part of the John and Siena story. A story of strength and strong convictions. Of doing anything no matter the cost, no matter the outcome and definitely no matter the consequence. You must read the first book of the duet, Loyalty, before you read Disgrace.

This story was extraordinarily filled with passion. Passion for family, passion for righting the wrongs of the past and most importantly passion between John and Siena. Their love and loyalty for one another is what great love is all The second part of the John and Siena story. Their love and loyalty for one another is what great love is all about.

But true love conquers it all. John gets help and control over his bipolar disorder in this story. But it comes at a cost of everyone in Cosa Nostra knowing his disease. Siena is living with her own form of torture, underneath her brothers demands. There is a war going on for control between the Marcellos and the Calebreses and at the moment, John and Siena are on opposite sides.

But their love is not, so in secrecy, they meet until the time is right. But throughout the war, Siena is a pillar of strength and fortitude for John and for his family. She is risks her life for the love of her life, John. She is not weak or timid but resolute to getting her HEA. John also does much growth in this book. He is now able to see that his family was always on his side.

They were never against him. And with those open eyes, his relationship with his father, Lucien, is incredibly touching and heart warming. Changes are also coming within the Marcello Family as the next generation is ready to lead. This involves both Andino and Johnathan as well as the entire family. Having 3 generations in this book was perfectly wonderful. The author included mental health and showed the highs and lows and that with help, the disease can be manageable. A beautiful duet I highly recommend. View all 8 comments.

Apr 01, S. West rated it it was amazing Shelves: The story had everything as a love and loyalty are tested in the midst of a bloodbath between the Marcellos and Calabreses. I didn't think it was possible, but I loved John and Siena even more. And BK not only gives us an awesome love story, but there's action, family and the added weight of John's ongoing battle with his demons.

Talk about one badass heroine, she's mine kind of woman. And John with Lucian I highly recommend this story. Oct 10, Rachel K rated it it was amazing. So I don't think I can do these books justice, but I have to say I forgot how much I love the way this author writes.

I did, however, stop reading this author after reading Demyan's story Shattered because I absolutely hated it! Even thinking about it now makes me angry lol - I know I've got issues so I didn't read a So I don't think I can do these books justice, but I have to say I forgot how much I love the way this author writes. I've got issues so I didn't read another thing from her. I also liked how realistic and sensitive the author was when writing his character. And Siena was just awesome!

Their relationship hasn't been easy from the start. Their families are enemies for good reason!

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There's a ton of bad shit that happens and let's face it, they're the mafia so it's more than obvious they're all criminals, but they are complex characters you can't help but fall for. I never got bored and I loved how caught up in everything I got. Another thing to mention that I absolutely loved was that there was no unnecessary bullshit drama involved when it came to their relationship. From the start, it was always them, no one else.

I'm also glad I didn't read the previous generation's books because I have to say, Dante got on my last nerve. And if I'd read his story first, I didn't want my love for him to disappear because I thought he was an arsehole. But I will be reading their books because the author did such a great job creating the world she did. Mar 16, Tanaka K rated it it was amazing Shelves: You need it in your life!!!!!!!!! Bethany-Kris to me is like the queen of mafia. She manages to grip my heart and yank it till I am addicted to her books. I am freaking insane over her books. And every book she gives manages to strike gold in my eyes.

Her words are like honey- sweet and drizzling to my soul. Bethany-Kris just keeps giving me hit after hit and I keep coming back for more. To m Guys, drop everything!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was waiting for Disgrace. I needed this book!!!! And it was everything that I have hoped for.

So much dark mafia goodness exploding. So much raw and splendid desire that quenched every living part of me. I was in awe.

Disgrace (John + Siena, #2)

I was stripped down. I was knocked sideways. I was left breathless. Disgrace really brought guns and they came blazing with suspense so captivating, I could not stop reading. Let me tell, this is my favourite book ever from Bethany-Kris. I do not know what kind of madness she brought into this book but she should keep giving it to me. A love story worth all the mayhem and blood seeping through the pages. A magnificent mafia romance written to perfection. An amazing book filled with twists and turns to make you delirious and also fall in love.

Bethany-Kris just makes me get up on my seat and give a standing ovation because her writing just blows me away. Gives me all kinds of tingles and shivers. Truly one of my favourite couple ever. Their partnership just quakes deeply in my heart. They faced so much trials and tribulations from la familia and Cosa Nostra. They deserved their happy ending. Yes it was hard. But their love was deep and it could face anything. No matter how deep and bloody the streets were, they showed they are stronger together. Seriously, if you love mafia, you have to read this duet. ARC provided by author in exchange for an honest review.

A Journey to Disgrace - Part-Three-of-Three by Kurt Steiner - FictionDB

Apr 02, A Klue rated it really liked it Shelves: One of them is going to have to lose. When push comes to shove and blood starts to flow, the one left standing takes it all. The Calabrese clan not only have a score to settle with the Marcellos due to the explosive ending in book 1, but they foolishly think they have a right to ruin then reign over the Marcellos territory. Like watching a determined small dog nip at the heels of a much larger one, the Calabrese try to use sneak attacks to get what they want.

Using whatever means necessary, she does what she is told and then some to make certain John and she will get their HEA. With quite a bit of back and forth dialogue and setting the stage for murder and mayhem to set in, Siena and John are finally reunited. But one by one as people start to fall and vengeance is taken, it is more important than ever that they both hold it together long enough to let the mafioso tide turn in their favor. This once disgraced and disrespected, out of control young man is now on the path of his own redemption and destiny.

All thoughts and opinions are my own. Apr 03, Julia rated it it was amazing Shelves: Disgrace by Bethany-Kris is the second book in John and Siena duet.

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It starts practically after the events of the first book. The choices are made, the streets are bloody and all is not as black and white as it seems to be. John Marcello has never been afraid of difficulties. He has chosen his way and he will take it 5 - they deserve it all - stars He craves for loyalty but he still thinks he is a disgrace He has chosen his way and he will take it no matter what.

His path will be very difficult but he we'll go on because in the end he'll get her Once again he showed his true strong character.