Chopsticks

Why is a person's bones passed from chopstick to chopstick as a part of the Buddhist funeral ritual? Sure better be good with using chopsticks. Sounds kinda scary, especially if you accidental drop the bones. You're making a fool of yourself. We had guests for dinner the other night I live in Tokyo and our Japanese friend showed us how she squeezes the juice out of lemon slices when they are sliced like thin wheels. On her plate she stabs the lemon slice with one chopstick and leaves that chopstick vertical. The non-stationary chopstick is then used to twist the lemon slice around in two full rotations, which squeezes all of the juice out of slice, but it all neatly rolls down the stationary chopstick rather than spraying all over the place.

It was a fancy move! Her husband rolled his eyes and said that only the young girls do that. Also, I don't know if you have the same annoyance, but my boyfriend gets really annoyed if I call chopsticks "chops" which I never do in public and really just do to annoy him.

Anyone else find that annoying? I'd read a lot of these in an asian themed cookbook, but seeing as how it was written by a non asian I wasn't sure of the validity of the information. Hi there, I am Vietnamese and most of our chopstick etiquettes are similar to Japanese's.

However, there is a rule "do not shovel food directly from the bowl to your mouth", which is different from my tradition. As Vietnamese rice is mostly long-grained, fluffy and only slightly sticky thus it's not easy to pick up the rice with the chopstick, I have tried it and failed so many times , we often put the food on one side of the rice bowl, then use chopstick to draw the food and a slightly bigger amount of rice when eating. When doing it this way, the food and the rice is blended together very nicely.

However, we also have a strict rule that the food and the rice are only drawn once, then the rice bowl must be put down and only picked up again when the chewing is finished i. I think this rule is important to note because I have seen many of my friends some of them are Japanese struggle to pick up rice from chopsticks when coming to my house for a meal. Being Chinese, born and raised in Hawaii, it was OK to bring your rice bowl up to your mouth and scoop rice into your mouth.

Most of the other stuff we followed. I've also done the "shoveling of the last bits of rice in the bowl" move. But since I only do this at home and nobody sees me, it's ok. I would never do anything so rude in front of anyone else. I think that people do things differently when they know eyes are on them. I also hold my chopsticks "improperly", but this is because when I hold them "properly" I can't pick anything up for some reason. Pick the food up from them with your chopsticks, then if necessary put it in your rice bowl - but ideally you should put it directly in your mouth.

That rule applies to the traditional table setting that you see in Japanese movies, where everyone gets their own individual set of side dishes. If the food is served in a communal plate, then you would use the serving utensils to put it on your side plate first before eating. Chinese food is almost always served in communal plates so it makes sense that the standard etiquette is to put the food in your rice bowl before eating.

We also shovel rice from the bowl into our mouths because the rice we use isn't sticky enough to pick up like the Japanese do. If I'm served rice on a plate at a restaurant, I will use a fork while my white friends struggle with the chopsticks. Also, I can often tell the difference between Chinese and Japanese by the way they eat their rice. Likewise, at a Korean restaurant, the Koreans will opt to use the metal spoon as much as possible while Chinese usually try to eat the whole meal with chopsticks. Koreans also don't like to lift up their bowls and dishes like the Japanese. I used to travel to Japan for business frequently, and had also lived there for a year.

Most of this information I had learned over time because of my love of Japanese food, but it was often difficult to tell fellow American business travelers about correct etiquette, especially if they're your bosses. Many years ago, a Japanese friend of mine told me about the little "Japan in your Pocket" series of books published by the JTB.

I purchased all of them. The "Eating in Japan" book Volume 3 was especially fun! Also on a similar note, and I know that it has nothing to do with chopstick etiquette, but I cringe every time that someone automatically dumps "soy sauce" on their rice. Just a pet peeve. I am Chinese and use chopsticks in my hair. Of course, I dont use my "hairsticks" for eating or the other way around.

But I certainly look for cool looking chopsticks for my buns. I think its ridiculous that buying "hairsticks" at stores is like.. I'd totally consider using a fork in my hair as well assuming I never use it for food. As long as they aren't too heavy, it should work.

I don't personally think its particularly offensive. It might look silly to some people, but not offensive. The rest of your advice is fine as for Chinese traditions. Except for the rice in bowl thing. The jasmine rice that chinese people eat is not as sticky and doesn't make nice clumps. Its expect that you pick up your bowl and "push" rice into your mouth.

There is nothing wrong using the fork in your hair to eat. The fork does 2 things for the price of one. Just think about the previllage that you have your personal fork with you and the convinence. Also, if you come from the parts of China that prefers shorter grained rice then it's not as appropriate to shovel food into your mouth.

Well, I have seen jewelry made of forks, spoons, and so on.

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Mostly in Berkeley in the sixties and seventies. Old silverware would be twisted, pounded flat, and otherwise dealt with Never bought any; I prefer plain old hairpins that don't show. I grew up watching my elders hold their rice bowl in one bowl, and use their chopsticks to push rice or porridge towards their mouths. I guess, this is because it is not easy to pick up neat clumps of the long grain rice which is the staple on our dining table.

Other than that, the rest of the rules are pretty similar. Maki Two further questions: And, as they appear to be shorter, can I assume that there is no significance attached to where you hold the chopsticks higher or lower along the barrel as there seems to be in China?

Thank you for educating me! I am just guessing here, but I believe that Japanese chopsticks just evolved to a shorter length because of the need for better control. I have noticed that Chinese chopsticks tend to be heavier as well as longer. There's no significance to where on the barrel to hold them in Japan , but you are not supposed to let them cross while you're eating. Now I have to say I blame this on the fact that I was forcibly trained to hold chopsticks in my right hand when I was little I'm naturally left-handed.

This is something that was done to kids all the time until fairly recently I've looked into this on Wikipedia before, and indeed, I believe the difference in chopsticks is because Japanese Cuisine involves a lot of fish. Difference in culture I suppose. Wikipedia actually has a lot of info in reguards to chopstick etiquette , mostly on Chinese, Japanese and Korean.

Looking at your post, I find that there are many similarities between Chinese and Japanese chopstick etiquette, but the biggest difference is probably shoveling food from bowl to mouth; this is very common and has absolutely no negative connotations in Chinese culture. In my experience, the not using your own chopsticks to pull from a communal dish rule is a bit flexible. Both with my coworkers and with friends I was told that it would be fine to use my chopsticks as usual to get food from the dish because "we're all friends here". This was, of course, after I had already turned my chopsticks around to go for it.

I find your site great and this guide very helpful. One of the very few things I actually knew was not to rest the chopstick over the bowl However, I often don't get chopstick rests so I have sometimes placed them oblique on the saucer if any , or on gasp! Most often I place them on the napkin if any! I tend to gesticulate a lot, so keeping them in my hand during a meal will inevitable lead me to commit several of the other sins waving them around, pointing, etc. The rules says "if there ARE chopsticks rests.. But then again, we kind of skipped most of the japanese etiquette.

My teacher even poured me beer once. We only used our own chopsticks to take our own food from the grill. I think this was a interesting read, but I have to say that most of it feels kind of self-explanatory. I think I follow most of these rules well, with the exception of the "don't lift up other bowls then rice and soup". I usually lift up the curry and donburi bowls skoop up the last pieces of food, because at the end the rice tends to fall apart and I really don't feel like leaving food in the bowl.

Where I come from that's bad manners! When I lived in Kyoto, my roommate, another gaijin, who had lived in Japan for years, was given the official job at our aikido club of teaching me Japanese manners. Or at least looking out for me and warning me when I was about to, or in the middle of, making some huge faux pax.

So many things to remember! I always thought it was ok to lift your rice bowl a foot away from your face to eat it. I guess this is a mistake that people do. No no no, please read what I wrote: It IS ok to bring the rice bowl up to near your face, but NOT ok to bring it directly to your mouth and shovel the rice in, at least not in a formal setting. Brought up by Chinese parents, chop stick etiquette hasn't been a big issue.

I'm amazed that I had been unconsciously doing a few of these things, such as not shovelling from the rice bowl. I don't shovel when I eat Japanese food xd. I'm half-Japanese, raised in the States, and my grandma made sure we knew about chopstick etiquette. She would scowl and make comments like "What kind of thing is this. That is because in my experience most of the restaurants here, even the Japanese ones, have really cheap waribashi. I didn't used to rub them together, but then I had the misfortune of being stabbed by a splinter from cheap waribashi.

It wasn't pleasant, so now I pretty much always do it, but I always try to be discreet. Being Japanese, I did not grow up in a traditional Japanese family since my parents are British. However, I'm quite certain I have broken some Japanese etiquettes. I do bath my rice with soysauce, which is how I like it. I also do eat rice from a bowl to my mouth. So much to remember! So many people do it thinking that it's okay or good to do, but it peeves me so much because it is so so so rude. Thanks so much for covering this! My boyfriend is Japanese, and I am American, and while I knew chopsticks were a sensitive issue, thanks to some Korean friends, nobody's perfect!

One time the two of us were having dim sum, and he was rushing me to try this, try that, and slippery foods are hard with chopsticks,btw anyway, he was rushing me, and in exasperation I let go of my chopsticks to take a plate he was handing me, momentarily leaving my chopsticks standing straight up in my bowl of lotus-wrapped rice, and he was horrified and scolded me for being so rude You covered the etiquette very well.

I agree with most of your points. As a Japanese person living in the States, If I see someone stick their chopsticks upright in their rice, I feel horrified — but this is cultural thing and you just have to politely point it out.

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I cringe at the very sight of people playing with chopsticks like drumsticks - this is just so rude. When it comes to shoveling rice into my mouth, I love it! But I do it only at home with my husband. It is my private ritual. Some people seem to have a hard time using chopsticks for Tofu. I have no problem but even some Japanese have a hard time, so just relax and ask for a spoon. No one will laugh at you.

I live in Vietnam for part of the year and many of the rules of etiquette that you mention are the same in Vietnam. As with rules of etiquette everywhere, they are sometimes broken. I know that chopsticks are to be turned around when eating communally, but it isn't always done.

As for eating rice from a bowl very close to the mouth and shovelling, I was told it was very rude, but I saw many people do it. I'm not sure how, as I tried it a few times and wasn't able to do it. Luckily for me, they think I have good manners in that department. I've just discovered this site and really like it. I love Japanese food and would like to know how to prepare more vegetarian options. I always shovel the rice in my mouth well, our rice isn't sticky I'm non-Asian, but learned to eat with chopsticks when I was five or six, because my dad loved Chinese food. I didn't learn any special etiquette, but everything listed here aside from spearing food and leaving them on your plate is bad manners with a fork, so I guess it wasn't really an issue.

But I've always been at a loss for where to put my chopsticks after I was told it's bad manners to put them across a bowl or plate. Here's a video I came across for how to make an origami rest for disposable chopsticks, out of the wrapper. I was taught by a Japanese family to not use the fat ends to take food from the main plate. Mom well the mother of the family said that even if we had washed our hands that the fat ends were still unsanitary to use and that growing up they were instructed not to use the fat ends.

Then again I suppose every family is different. I'm chinese raised in Singapore.. Many teenagers nowadays don't know the proper usage of chopsticks, and are often guilty of the rules stated here. Luckily, my mom was very particular in using the chopsticks. It kinda irritates me when I see chinese breaking chopsticks rules When we use chopsticks, the top end of the chopsticks are not supposed to be crossed, when holding chopsticks, they are supposed to be parrell when not picking up food.

The right way of using chopsticks would allow the person to be able to pick up food as small as a grain of rice to a piece of food as big as a fist. I learned how to use chopsticks when I was in my 20's mainly. Having little money and trying to find ways to eat large meals while in a shrinking budget buffets were always the best choice. From this I learned one day to actualy use chopsticks out of respect of the culture and to learn something different.

Kinda a 'when in Rome.. Along the way though I did learn about the rubbing of chopsticks and how it was to take splinters off. Now I realize it may have been a bad thing as I have been gulity of doing this even at a Japanese Haibatchi resturant. As well in all fairness we all know that those chopsticks are not made by the most mastered hands. As someone pointed out earlier, most of this I guess I just assumed due to the same respect from western culture.

Although I'd like to see someone stick 2 forks in their mouths and try to act like a walurus! I never really noticed the differences between chopstick etiquette in the neighboring Asian countries. I guess since my family is mostly Taiwanese American , our little island's between the two powerhouses of China and Japan and we have a lot of influence from both countries. Mostly all of our "rules" are the same. Like the others noticed, though, it's not considered impolite to push our rice to our mouth - even though the rice my family eats isn't the long-grained, it's actually Japanese rice.

I don't know about proper etiquette, but I do know that all my family uses our rice bowls as our chopstick rests, and if there is sauce or some such dripping from our kuaizi, it's acceptable to quickly lick it off, since we use our own chopsticks to grab from the communal plate. And I often use my chopsticks as a fork and knife I believed quite a number of people have already said, but the custom for these is quite similar to Chinese. I didn't have a clue that shoving rice from bowl to mouth is rude though, and did that everywhere even in korea.

I had sushi for the first time a couple of months ago.

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We ordered sushi and sashimi. It was a really nice restaurant and the food was artfully arranged on our plates. The sashimi was on beds of cold white rice but the pieces were very large. The pieces were so large that if I were to put the entire piece of fish in my mouth I wouldn't be able to chew it.

In the back of my mind I wanted to ask if the chef would half the pieces for me but I thought that it might be taken as an insult. So, I resorted to picking up each piece and taking a bite out of it and then putting the rest on the plate. It felt clumsy and I didn't like doing it. What should I do next time I have pieces of food that are too large to eat and am using chopsticks at a restaurant? Hi Matt, it's really the task of the chef to prepare the food so that it's easy to eat for you. If the pieces were too big and you didn't want to send it back, it's perfectly fine to either cut it somehow yourself, or as you did, take a bite out and put it back, etc.

I know there's a tendency at some sushi places to make 'jumbo' size pieces, which are supposed to look impressive, but as you said, they aren't always that easy to eat! I come from Vancouver, which is about half Asian in terms of population, and as a result we have about a million and a half cheap asian resteraunts that provide cheap waribashi. What I was always taught is that if you must rub which in many cases, you must to do it under the table, so it's not like you are making a big deal about it and rubbing it in the nose of the staff. While, ethically, I am so white I glow in the dark, I did grow up using chopsticks.

I remember my Mom telling me about not sticking the chopsticks straight up, but could never remember quite why it was such a faux pas. She had a Japanese exchange-student friend back in the late 70's that she learned all this stuff from. Sushi was served in smaller pieces than I now get in here in the U. Monkey see, monkey do. This is a fantastic guide! I see now several things that I am guilty of and I will do my best to correct it. Thanks so much for sharing. I had a friend who claimed that he used to go to a japanese or asian restaurant of some sort that had only asian people working there.

He claimed that after his meal he'd leave one chopstick or maybe it was both i can't remember straight up in his rice and that that meant one was in mourning. He then said that he got his meal for free when he did this. Well I can only tell you that it certainly work in a Japanese restaurant. They'll just think you're being rude. I don't know about other Asian restaurants not all Asians are alike I was reading "Dog Man" and came across a description of using chopsticks "high style".

Can you describe what that is? As a westerner who uses chopsticks I taught myself, as neither of my parents can use them at all!

I'm wondering- what is the proper way to eat long noodles? I honestly eat with chopsticks and fork with equal frequency, sometimes it depends on which I grab out of the drainboard! But I've never figured out the proper way to eat noodles, with either fork OR chopsticks! Am I supposed to wrap them around the chopsticks? I often do this, but it seems to me, it might be weird if not rude.

Chopsticks

Cut them into smaller pieces? I use chopsticks instead of fork to eat them because they always fall OFF the fork when I try In Japan at least, it's fine to slurp long noodles, and make lots of noise while you're doing it, especially if they come in soup like ramen or udon. Pasta served with a fork should not be slurped though. That's definitely not considered polite in America, but it really goes to show how different things are in different cultures! My Mother in law is Korean. We received some bowls from her with holes in the side, and some with notches on top. Yes they are used to hold the chopsticks.

We have been to a few informal and a couple of very formal meals with them. They put their soup bowls right up to their mouths and drunk it, slurping very loudly. They also shovel their rice, sticky rice, from the bowl directly into their mouth. I have seen them put food into the rice bowl and do the same with that. That was at the infirmal dinners.

The formal dinners were when someone had just had a baby or was about to get married. My mother in law and Brother in law, who also has never been to Korea but was still living at home, wore the traditional garments that they wear at such gatherings. My father in law, true American Cowboy that he is,and very smart man, did not come. We sat away from the communal table so I could not see what was happening over there, but it was very loud. Everybody talking at the same time, not sure how anybody knew what the others were talking about.

Anyways, I do know some of the rules of chopsticks, especially not sticking anything with them or sticking them up in your rice. I do however, when I go to a Japanese restaurant where you gave to break the sticks apart, check to see if there are splinters on the sides. Most of the time there are, so I do rub them together to get them off. Of course I do also realize that the Chinese, Japanese, Korean food that they serve in these small China Garden type restaurants is actually American food.

Your guide to better chopstick etiquette (mostly Japanese)

True Chinese, Japanese,and Korean people have never eaten anything like this, except for maybe the rice. You need to go to a real upscale Chinese, Japanese, or Korean restaurant or to the countries themselves to find their original foods.

Or if you are lucky,cand they can find the ingredients, which is hard to do, maybe you can find a true Again to prepare you a true Asuan dish. You will be surprised in the difference in the way it looks, smells, and taste, compared to what we believe to be Asian food.

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The only chopstick etiquette I know is Japanese, but I didn't know that rubbing waribashi together was considered rude. The ones we get at resturants around here pretty cheap, so we've been safe, but I'll pay attention to that from now on. I also didn't know you shouldn't stir the food around on the plate. I don't, but good to know. I am guilty of shoveling the last bits of rice in the bowl into my mouth at the end of the meal, though. I don't think sticking your chopsticks upright in your rice is such a bad thing.

There are no such things as spirits or luck. I find such superstitions offensive. I mean, invent a special pair of tongs or something else, you know? How hard is that? Someone has to take a stand and stop the endless cycle of stupidity and respect for irrational belief. I don't care what your personal beliefs are. That was just plain rude. We come here to enjoy learning about different cultures. If you can't respect that, never darken our message boards again. Where to place my chopsticks after my meal? Is it rude if I do that?

It's fine to just leave your chopsticks resting put together, not like crossing or anything on a plate or so, if chopstick rests are not provided. Some people make a little makeshift chopstick rest out of the paper envelope the disposable chopsticks come in by folding it, and use that. Thanks Maki, I love the idea of making a holder out of the paper envelope. But I would still want to know if putting the disposable chopsticks back in the envelope after using is acceptable because we had a discussion with friends over this topic.

I'm Korean, born and raised in Argentina. I remember being told off a lot as a kid for stirring my food with my chopsticks. I think being picky is specially considered rude and stirring the side dishes to avoid vegetables annoyed my parents and grandma a lot. I'm still a little picky with some vegetables, but I learned how not to pick them up VERY discreetly. I calculate the trajectory of my chospticks first lol.

Just thought I'd share. Is there any etiquette as to which type of chopsticks are best? Would you use the disposable wooden ones in your home? What type do they use in good restaurants in Japan? I just returned from a very short trip tonTokyo and i saw people resting their hashi in front of them and then picking them upnwith both hands to position. I only eveer picked them up from my rest withnone hand, and then flipped to resting position and then put back down. There are lots of posts about how to, but not how to put down. A link to a how to site if you know of one would help me the next time i eat sushi in japan.

When using chopsticks I discreetly twirl the noodles around them so they don't fall. If I can relax about it that would be awesome: Concerning forks in hair, I remember there was a fad at my school of boiling cheap toothbrushes and bending them into bracelets,lol. Is it ok for them to be resting on the side a bit while ur moving from kitchen to table perhaps? I also have to break the habit of pointing when i speak. Otherwise all this stuff seemed somewhat common sense like the funny vampire haha. Nice writing btw and very informative. I will say that i do rub waribashi together, but you should see the splintery ones here in the US!

My grandmother whose Japanese will always do it discreetly under the table and whisper to me that it was okay, because they were so splintery. Thank you for the clarification. I have a question though about resting chopsticks. I normally do not put mine in my bowl of ramen or soup, but instead lay then down across the side or middle of bowl across it, like you have in the 'Chopstick Rests' section. My friend brought me chopsticks from china.

Is it weird if I take them to a restaurant with me to use? Obviously with nicer round chopsticks you don't have to rub them since they won't have splinters. You just repeated the same thing she just said in different words. So clearly, you also have no idea what you are talking about. If you're supplied disposable chopsticks making a rest with the wrapper is fine, or just resting it on the edge of a plate or something.

Disposable chopstick imply informality anyway so the rules are more relaxed. Sort of like going to a place with plastic forks and knives. And what about the last chopstickfuls of rice at the bottom of the bowl when you're done? I mean, I get not doing that for a full bowl, but is there another way to get the rice out once it has broken apart like that? In informal fast-foody places the rules are way more relaxed, as I've said. If you want to fit in, see how other people are eating and follow their lead.

I do though know that passing food chopsticks to chopstick especially DO not let them touch, but as in rubbing them together and some silly others, they are not followed anymore these days, except for those trying to preserve hardcore tradition. Thank you so much for this post. I am an american teen and have always wanted to move to japan. Learning proper etiquette is very fun for me.

But, one comment asked about bringing your own chopsticks to a restaraunt, and I wondered about that too I don't know about Japan, but in Korea these things really aren't an issue. Especially with anyone 40 and under.

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I have no skills with chopsticks but my in-laws, friends of my husband, and anyone in any of the restaurants we went to never gave me a second look. How on earth am I suppossed to eat for example duck with bones or short bbq-ribs with chop sticks? I have a Japanese cook book that has a section about etiquette in the back and I was reading the section on taboos related to chopsticks and word for word one was: But a lot of the guides i have read for eating ramen correctly say that men can do that so which is it? Sorry for asking so many long questions but i am a westerner with zero experience in actual Japanese formal dinning but I want to learn and the only way to learn is to ask: Would anyone happen to know where I could purchase the chopsticks in the first picture?

My wife and I are western European. We eat Asian and European food with chopsticks regularly. We have many pairs in various colors, shapes, etc. Some are moderately expensive. One evening a dinner guest asked us how we cleaned the chopsticks. I said, "soap and water" like knives and forks. Then I began to wonder what the proper etiquette was. Do you always use new chopsticks for guests? Do you put them in a pretty wrapper and give them to the guest after dinner thus suggesting the chopsticks are contaminated and you would not use them again yourself? Surely, you would not give a guest disposable chopsticks like those used with fast food You would certainly not replace regular non-disposable chopsticks every time a guest came.

You might keep a set of 'nice' chopsticks for guest use the way you might have a set of 'nice' dinnerware vs. In some cases you might keep some disposables, e. I lived in Japan for 5 years and hung out with a lot of Japanese so I used to just get my etiquette rules from watching them. Now that I am teaching Japanese, I did a bit of research here on using Ohashi and I noticed a couple of things that I observed, and thought were ok, that apparently aren't.

Firstly is the rubbing waribashi together to get off the splinters not the good quality ones. Also I saw mothers using chopsticks one in each hand to cut up their childrens' food when it was quite hard to cut not like agedashi tofu Is this is not ok? I was out with a few friends at a Vietnamese place a few months ago, and my friends were all shocked that I "could" use chopsticks. I think a couple of them may have been watching me eat with them. But I suppose I grew up in a more multicultural city than most of them. I figured I'd do some reading up on the proper etiquette for chopstick use.

This guide was awesome. I've always considered myself a heathen when using chopsticks, but at least I knew some of the rules I had no idea about the sticking them upright in rice though. We felt a pang of regret when it was closed and torn down after over 40 years in Edmonds. It will be a celebration worthy of note as it will be the 50th year of the Chopsticks restaurant operations and the 10th year in the present location. I may have missed something but I personally don't know of any restaurant that has been in Edmonds longer. Noon to 10pm Sunday: Noon to 9p Monday: Closed Visit our page on Facebook and become a fan!

Did you enjoy your meal? Let others know about it! A great place for lunch, or dinner, or You may also want to check out: From the "Edmonds Becon", April 5,