100 Fast & Funny

It took me a second to realize who it was: I was mortified, but he just started laughing. I have decided to remain anonymous to protect my identity from the foolishness. I removed the various packets from the bowl, added the flavor and vegetables, then put the bowl in the microwave. After about a minute or two, I realized something was wrong.

A terrible burning smell had filled my kitchen. I opened the door to my microwave and…low and behold…I had neglected to add water. There was some smoke coming from the bowl. Not wanting to waste the ramen, I went to the sink and added water, which filled the room in acrid smoke for several seconds. I then returned the bowl to the microwave and cooked it for two more minutes before attempting to eat it. It went okay for a little while, until I discovered a globule of blackened noodles which had turned into some sort of strange crystalline substance yet seen in nature by humankind.

I had a change of heart. When I was in the 6th grade my parents decided I should get my first cell phone because I was going to middle school now and things were different. I took decent care of my phone and never needed a replacement. Well, flash forward to Memorial Day weekend. My family and another family went camping up in Pennsylvania for the weekend. Well, one of the days we were up there my buddy, Oliver, and I decided to take the kayaks out on the lake. Genius me, decided she wanted to listen to the 4 Selena Gomez songs I had on my phone.

I thought it would be a brilliant idea to put my phone in a plastic bag to protect it from the water. When we got back from kayaking I took my phone out only to find the bag was submerged in water. We had no rice or anything to save my phone so we tried laying it out to dry, not even 15 minutes later it starts down pouring destroying my phone even more. When I was around four or five I was with my mom at this store buying some Christmas gifts. I grabbed two of them and stashed one in each of my pockets.

I still remember the rush of energy I got from actually leaving the store undetected. I had the absolute worst social anxiety when I was a kid so I was a absolutely sobbing, telling this poor employee how horrible a person I was. We get in the car and I thought I was doing pretty well, until she starts freaking out? When we get there, there is a state trooper waiting for me.

Literally had to take a sobriety test when I tried to get my license. At least I passed one test that day. That one time I got lost: So about a year ago, I was in Phys. Ed class, and we went around the neighborhood for a jog at the beginning of each class. To this day, I beg people to order for me when anyone remotely attractive is working the cash register. So to begin my story I should tell you that I work at a Medical Spa as front desk and my job entails mostly computer and customer service related tasks.

It is all I can do in my power to keep from laughing from sheer shock. I finished as through and quick as I possibly could and booked it the hell out of the room. Later when I had to book the clients next appointment neither of us could look the other in the eye because of that traumatizing encounter. I will probably never be able to live down the moment I looked at the multicolored butt right in the crack.

Miller, you the best: One time way back in sixth grade math class I had to fart really bad. Me being the idiot that I am decided that it would be silent. The only person talking was the teacher and she was interrupted by freaking cannon fire farts. Last year, during class, my algebra teacher let us listen to music while we did our classwork and whatnot.

100+ Fun Family Feud Questions and Answers

So, I was just jamming, being super confused on this one problem and I look up from my paper to ask my friend how to do it and EVERYONE is intensely looking back and forth between me and another girl with their fingers on their noses. As you can imagine, I was super confused.

So, naturally, I also put my finger on my nose. That time in freshman year: So I have this mini freak out at my friend Seth sitting next to me. As a freshman and quite socially inept I decide not to really do anything about it until lunch which was next block. I had some paper in my arms from last class so I decided to use those and figure out everything during lunch instead of making a scene at like literally the first week of my high school career.

My teacher asks the class for a problem we can apply to it right? Well guess who raises his hand? Now my teacher adored Seth so he gets called on and you know what his answer was?? I hold up the stolen backpack and my teacher had the most dumbfounded look like I have never encountered someone that failed at life more than you. We ended up continuing with that scenario and took notes on the scientific method using the very problem that I had created. I miss that game everyday…. After an exhausting, weeklong festival I was getting a lift back home in a car full of my friends.

We were coming up over a mountain road with a really beautiful ocean view just at sunset. So one day I was walking around, just chilling with my friends when I see this guy reading a book. So naturally I approach this boy hoping to make a new friend and bond over the series. So about a year ago we had to do a speech about something we were passionate about. These would then be recorded to put on the school website. I decided to do one about gay rights as it was not yet legalized in my state. In the end it went really well. Out of the corner I could see my 6th grade teacher give my computer studies teacher 10 dollars.

Then suddenly, I sneezed really loudly, the teachers turned around and saw me standing there. My 6th grade teacher has pretty much gotten over it but my computer studies teacher refuses to make eye contact with me. His face looks like the best chair: And everyone knows I like him. Never wear a dress in Chicago: I had never been to Chicago before, so naturally I had to go see the big city. Just like any other girl, I wanted to get all dolled up before walking around in front of people.

I wore an extremely soft red dress that I was in love with, and some wedges. One thing that Chicago has plenty of is vents, and I ignored them because the ones in my city are never on. This was a mistake, because I just so happened to walk over one that was on. Only to be met with steam hot enough to burn leg hair off, and my dress being blown up to my neck around hundreds of other people. I used to babysit this little boy who was a real handful.

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He was always in trouble and it seemed like every time his dad had to call him it went like this…. As it turns out, I am gay: I lied about it and said I had accidentally clicked an ad. As it turns out, I am gay. To help you do that, we created a functional backpack with the everyday artist in mind. Sign up for the Thought Catalog Weekly and get the best stories from the week to your inbox every Friday.

You may unsubscribe at any time. By subscribing, you agree to the terms of our Privacy Statement. Dedicated to your stories and ideas. Name a place where people have to use coins. Other than wood, name a material that might be used when building a house. Name something you never leave home without. Name a metal old coins might be made out of. Name a country with a name that starts with the letter A. Name something that comes out of clouds. Name a profession through which an ugly person might become famous.

Name something you eat that might roll away if you dropped it on the floor. Name something that comes in a glass bottle. Name a country with a lot of land. How long does a typical New Year's Resolution last? Name something you'd hate to find swimming around in your bathtub. About how many pages is the longest book you've ever read? If you asked a person from Texas, what might they say is their favorite genre of music? What might a married man rather admit to his buddies than to his wife? Name a chore that people put off because they have work the next day. Name a superhero member of the Justice League.

Tell me something for which Kentucky is famous. Name something appealing about working from home. Name someone you would call after getting engaged. Name a country with a lot of ice. Name a color underwear a person might save for a special occasion. Name a behavior a dog would get away with that a person wouldn't get away with. Other than jewelry, what is the most expensive single item in your home?

Name something you might buy at a gas station. Name something you have to do that would give you a reason to set an alarm to wake up. Name a downside of biking to work. Name something in your wallet. Name an animal some people keep as a pet that you would never allow in your house. Name a type of bear. Name a word you might use to describe a dog that could also describe your partner.

Name a profession that would be difficult for a coward. Name something you might wear while driving. How many days can you keep a banana before it goes bad? Name a state with a lot of mountains. Name a job that requires a lot of education. Name a country with a large population. Other than letters, name something people get in the mail. Name a type of building where it always seems to be cold.

Name the happiest day in a woman's life. Name something you would buy after getting engaged. Name a type of insurance. Name a common candy bar component. Name the most annoying this other drivers do on the road. Name a state that has a lot of sports teams. Name something you might be asked to bring to a friend's party. For what reason might you choose not to go to a new restaurant, even after someone recommended it to you? Name something you might prefer to buy in person rather than online. Name a reason you might call a taxi. Name something a person cares more about as they pass middle-age.

President who was already old when he took the job. Name one of Marvel's Avengers. Name a professional sport where the players make a lot of money. Name something you find in a breakfast buffet. We only asked married people - what is the most expensive thing you've ever bought while married without telling your spouse first? What's something you keep in your car, just in case?

pcs Fast Food Slime Plastic Toys Kids Children Adults Resin Dulcet Funny | eBay

Name a place where you might see someone wearing a baseball cap. When you enter a bathroom, what color do you really hope not to see in the toilet bowl? Name something you might see a commercial for during a baseball game. Name something in a person's closet that only comes out for special occasions. Name a color that also describes a way a person might feel. Questions must be on-topic, written with proper grammar usage, and understandable to a wide audience. My game freeze up. I dont get to play and the game takes my coins. Buy a copy today and get ready to roar with laughter over how we speak.

To add The Most Beautiful Words to your purchase, choose "Add to Cart" below, then click the book title here when you return. If you do not have a PayPal account, not to worry: Hold down "Ctrl" when you click if you have a popup blocker. If you do not have a PayPal account, just click "continue" on the PayPal page. For a signed copy with a short, special message, click "special instructions to seller" and write your message, including the name of the person to whom the book will be autographed.

Absquatulate To leave or abscond with something.

1. 50+ Short Funny Stories That Will Crack You Up In 60 Seconds | Thought Catalog?
2. 100pcs Fast Food Slime Plastic Toys Kids Children Adults Resin Dulcet Funny 2018.
3. Here are 100 guaranteed to get a quick laugh:.

Allegator Some who alleges. Anencephalous Lacking a brain. Argle-bargle A loud row or quarrel. Batrachomyomachy Making a mountain out of a molehill. Billingsgate Loud, raucous profanity. Bloviate To speak pompously or brag. Blunderbuss A gun with a flared muzzle or disorganized activity. Borborygm A rumbling of the stomach. Boustrophedon A back and forth pattern.

Bowyang A strap that holds the pants legs in place. Callipygian Having an attractive rear end or nice buns. Canoodle To hug and kiss. Cockalorum A small, haughty man. Collop A slice of meat or fold of flab. Collywobbles Butterflies in the stomach. Comeuppance Just reward, just deserts. Crapulence Discomfort from eating or drinking too much.

Crudivore An eater of raw food. Donnybrook An melee, a riot. Doozy Something really great.

Dudgeon A bad mood, a huff. Ecdysiast An exotic dancer, a stripper. Eructation A burp, belch. Fartlek An athletic training regime. Filibuster Refusal to give up the floor in a debate to prevent a vote. Firkin A quarter barrel or small cask.