Taming Your Temper: A Workbook for Individuals, Couples, and Groups
By learning to recognize and avoid environmental "triggers" for anger, you may be able to manage this negative emotion better or cut down on the frequency of problem anger.
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Ways to Circumvent Anger There are a number of things that an individual can do to circumvent anger when it arises. The following represent activities that you might engage in when you are angry: Without getting angry and simply expressing yourself to another, you may be able to vent your anger in a socially appropriate way.
Practice assertiveness as opposed to anger. Even though assertiveness is somewhat more passive than anger, it may allow you to stand up for your rights that you may feel have been violated. Don't feel that you have to demand your rights in every situation. If a small injustice has been or is being committed, communicating calmly, in general, will accomplish more.
In the even that this doesn't work, let it go. Yielding is different from being passive, as it is associated with a positive quality—reasonableness. As stated above, try to walk or engage in some kind of physical activity that may dissipate your anger. Take a time-out from the situation, person or event that is angering you. Getting away from the situation of conflict may help you calm down.
You may find that they will be motivated to do this with some encouragement from you. As your significant other can elicit strong emotional reactions in you, you may eliminate many future conflicts by cooperatively communicating.
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If necessary, communicate along with an intermediary third party such as a family counselor or other impartial mediator. Family Counseling Can Result in a Higher Success Rate for Struggling Individuals Within the Family Family therapy has been found to be an effective primary or adjunctive therapy in the mental health arena, facilitating faster recovery times for major mental health disorders and in dealing with many forms of family crises.
The individual who is trying to overcome problems with anger is not an isolated independent entity but a member of the family unit—one part of the whole. By "treating" the entire family, sources of irritation and frustration are lessened, and family style and lifestyles can be adjusted in favor of better mental health for individual members whose emotional constitution might be more fragile or sensitive. What can the entire family do to minimize sources of irritation that are contributing to anger?
Communication goes a long way. Therapy can be effective, because an impartial therapist or counselor—which may be someone such as a minister—will hear both sides of the story without judging or laying blame, and at the same time, may have insight that can contribute to a more peaceful home atmosphere less prone to outbursts of anger. A Workbook for Individuals, Couples, and Groups https: Sections of this page.
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See more of Mental Health Classes on Facebook. The manual, a companion volume to the book Taming Your Temper. Products - Nathaniel Smith, Counselor. It's only when your feelings turn into destructive behavior that anger becomes an issue. Stop being at the mercy of those feelings. Read questions aloud and explore. Have each individual write their responses in the workbook for the Time-out contract. This exercise teaches healthy release strategies: Deep Breathing, Releasing Muscle tension, and Physical exercise.
Let each individual know that this information will be used to help them complete Exercise Have clients practice each step in Exercise 10 between appointments. Verbally explore how Exercise 10 went between appointments. Let the couple or individual know that this exercise will help them stop the Physical Symptom responses in their anger cycle. This exercise will help group members collect data about past successes. Read questions aloud and have each individual write their responses in the workbook.
This information will be used to complete Exercise Verbally walk the couple or individual through the Requesting Forgiveness information. Have the couple or individual use the information to complete Exercise 12 for homework. Spend a few minutes covering the homework assignment. Make a copy of each persons answers for Exercise 12 and go through each one. Answer any questions the couple might have about the homework assignment. Sit by the individual to look at their responses.
Answer any questions that the person might have about the exercise. By examining childhood history and influences, group members will gain awareness and build better relationships. Orally read each question and have the couple or individual respond. Make sure they understand that more extensive work might need to be done to fully address the issues. All answers should be written in the workbook for future reference. This exercise is perfect for addressing relationship conflicts. Read each question and explore responses.
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For couples and individual appointments have them take the Communication check test Exercise Make this a homework assignment. Excellent listeners know how to give their full attention to the message-sender by taking in all aspects of the message.
Excellent senders know how to communicate a message at all levels and are mindful of the impact the message has on the listener. Read through the skills and answer any questions.
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Have couples try the skills between appointments. Choose a recurring conflict to work through with your partner to bring old issues to resolution. Remind the group to work on the conflict-resolution steps when things are calm. Focus on choosing a specific area of the conflict to work through. In a close relationship, it is inevitable that you will encounter differences between yourself and your partner. Stress to the group that differences are not bad. Acceptance is important to have trust and safety in relationships. This exercise is perfect for addressing relationship differences.
For this exercise choose a few traits to help the couple negotiate. Have the couple commitment to finish the other traits between appointments. Go over Exercises 19 and answer any questions. During fights, people tend to play one of two roles. One person wants to resolve the issue and the other person wants to retreat. People sometimes switch roles as well. Exercise 20 is a great resource to help couples stop arguments from spiraling out of control. The Fair Fighting contract allows the couple to resolve conflict successfully and calmly. We learn behavioral patterns based on our past experiences.
Our environment provides triggers that can activate defensive postures, negative patterns, and unconstructive behaviors.
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The entire group will be spent on covering the information and questions. This exercise explores self-confidence, self-acceptance, and self-appreciation. Let the couple or individual know that each question is focusing on each of these three areas to help build intrinsic self-worth. Remind them that action is what changes obstacles and variables in our lives that we are unhappy with.
For this exercise have the couple or individual pick two strengths and weaknesses to process in this exercise. Request for them to process more for homework. This exercise will allow group member to evaluate situations and to practice becoming more assertive. Have the couple or individual choose a recent event to evaluate in Situation Number One. Only process one situation and have the couple or individual process Situation number two for homework.
Setting Boundaries Letting Go This section of the book is educational because there are no forms for members to complete.