Disciple of Grief (The Disciples Book 1)
In Chapter 18, Elijah was at the height of success; in Chapter 19 he is in the depths of despair. In Chapter 18 he is on the mountain peak of victory; in Chapter 19 he is in the valley of defeat.
In Chapter 18 he is elated; in Chapter 19 he is completely deflated. Though various phenomena, such as wind, storms, earthquakes, fire Exodus Though God was silent, he was not absent. Mount Horeb is the place forever associated with the source and essence of Israelite faith. Elijah arrived at the sacred mountain where he spent the night in a dark cave. At the root of depression is almost always some form of fear.
How often are we like Elijah, fearful of failure, of being alone, unable to complete a task given to us, incapable of success, weak in perseverance, patience, and hope?
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The second factor is failure. Elijah had a very low self-esteem. How often do we feel that our efforts were in vain? How often do we think that we contributed to the problem rather than being part of the solution? How often have we failed: The relationship went sour. The marriage broke up. The addiction made me lose everyone and everything I had.
A Prophet's Depression, an Apostle's Grief, a Disciple's Fear - ZENIT - English
The third factor is fatigue, exhaustion and burnout. Elijah was physically exhausted and emotionally empty. This is the great danger of peak experiences. It is the risk of those who get lost in their work and mission, who are blinded by their own zeal, and have become crusaders and saviors bound for burnout rather than humble disciples and ministers who are poor servants, simply doing their tasks.
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The fourth factor can be described as plain futility. Elijah feels alone, hopeless and has little hope for the future. He suffers from paranoia, thinking that everyone is out to get him.
He looks at the world through very dark glasses. How many of us are afraid, lonely, exhausted, burned out and without any hope? How many of us have given in to despair, cynicism, meanness of spirit and smallness of heart? How many of us have lost our faith in a God who can reverse barren wombs and make empty tombs? In order for Elijah to revive and renew his strength, he needed to get away. He needed physical, emotional and spiritual rejuvenation. He had been so busy taking care of the needs of the nations that he had neglected the needs and concerns of Elijah the Tishbite.
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Elijah talked through his frustrations as he sat in the cave atop the mountain. In the midst of his feeling sorry for himself, God asked him point blank: In fact, God helped him to get there! God listened patiently and non-judgmentally as Elijah poured out his feelings of anger, bitterness and self-pity.
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Instead God accepted him and listened to him. What happened to Elijah happens to us, especially when we pay much more attention to negative events than to all the good that is happening around us. It happens when we are very hard on ourselves, and take ourselves far too seriously, and God not seriously enough! Elijah needed to know that God was there and that there were indeed others who had not bowed down to Baal. Contemporary English Version Jesus got up from praying and went over to his disciples.
They were asleep and worn out from being so sad. Good News Translation Rising from his prayer, he went back to the disciples and found them asleep, worn out by their grief. Holman Christian Standard Bible When He got up from prayer and came to the disciples, He found them sleeping, exhausted from their grief. International Standard Version When he got up from prayer, he went to the disciples and found them asleep from sorrow.
NET Bible When he got up from prayer, he came to the disciples and found them sleeping, exhausted from grief. New Heart English Bible When he rose up from his prayer, he came to the disciples, and found them sleeping because of grief, Aramaic Bible in Plain English And he arose from his prayer and he came to his disciples and found them sleeping from the anguish. He found them asleep and overcome with sadness. New American Standard And when He rose from prayer, He came to the disciples and found them sleeping from sorrow, Jubilee Bible And when he rose up from prayer and was come to his disciples, he found them sleeping for sorrow King James Bible And when he rose up from prayer, and came to his disciples, he found them sleeping from the grief, American King James Version And when he rose up from prayer, and was come to his disciples, he found them sleeping for sorrow, American Standard Version And when he rose up from his prayer, he came unto the disciples, and found them sleeping for sorrow, Douay-Rheims Bible And when he rose up from prayer, and was come to his disciples, he found them sleeping for sorrow.
Darby Bible Translation And rising up from his prayer, coming to the disciples, he found them sleeping from grief.