Official English Qualification Test - PreTOED Essay

A motivation for and a benefit from recreation is an escape and a release. Endorphins and adrenalin are released. All of this is beneficial, but needs to occur in a managed setting, not an unmanaged setting. Certainly, two questions that arise are: Unmanaged OHV use had been occurring there for 35 years.

There was a maze of user-created trails, hillclimbs, significant resource impacts, angry stakeholders, and upset residents. The community and media were up in arms. The local club, the Okanagan Trail Riders Association, saw the writing on the wall and started taking action by seeking advice from experts.

At 35, hectares , acres , it is the largest recreation site in the province. There was a lot at stake. By , the accomplishments included: The creation of any successful trail, trail system, or OHV park involves the successful application of three key elements: These three elements form the basis for the Great Trail Continuum. Tip, Trick or Trap? If the riders want hillclimbs or other potentially high-impact activities, does a manager give it to them? It means that the manager evaluates the site to determine what experiences can be reasonably and sustainably provided.

Then the manager can ensure that whatever experiences can be provided are delivered as high-quality, high-fun factor opportunities. A key point here that cannot be overemphasized is that if riders get the experience they want ON the trail, they will not look for it OFF the trail. From an OHV management standpoint, this is huge. There are those who are skeptical, including some riders, but this theory has been validated in project after project.

When riders have a high-quality recreation experience, they are smiling at the end of the day. What does that mean to the OHV manager? The riders recognize they have something good. This means they become proud of it and want to protect it. Compliance with the rules and regulations increases. Peer pressure to make others compliant goes up.

The need for enforcement goes down. There is an increased willingness to accept trail fees. First of all, they need to know who the riders are and understand the various vehicle types and the experiences those riders are looking for. This book covers a wide range of vehicles and a wide range of riders, but fortunately, they all have similar recreation needs and desires. Size Does Matter When the demand for trails exceeds the supply, managers have lost control of the use. A skilled OHV specialist understands these desired experiences. If at all possible, put at least one OHV club, area, or state association representative on the planning and design team.

Also, attend some club meetings and take the team out on a club ride. It is a great way to learn about the activity, what draws people to that activity, and the very social nature of that activity. Most important of all is go out to the project area on the weekends when the riders are there and talk to them. It will be easy to discover that they are real people and they like to talk about their activity. It is also a very effective relationship builder. If all they know is poor quality, then there is no bar to measure it against. It is important to recognize this so that the trail system planning and design is not swayed in the wrong direction by inaccurate input.

Many riders have never ridden a designated, well-designed, or managed trail system. User-created trails meet the user's needs There is another potential trap. If there is an unmanaged project area today, chances are that the customers are locals who have ridden there forever.

It can be a mistake to base planning on that rider group and their current riding activities. Once a designated, managed trail system has been implemented, the rider base and demographics will change. As soon as a map is produced, or a website is developed recommended , or someone puts videos on YouTube, suddenly the whole world knows about this trail system and riders will come from all over the area, state, or region to experience it. What was maybe once an all-male group of locals with a single focus, can now be a mix of singles, families, and extended families with multiple vehicle types.

Where perhaps there were fifteen riders on a weekend day, there may now be or more. These are changes that managers need to recognize and assimilate into the planning process. OHV recreation is a family activity, so plan to provide opportunities for a variety of vehicle types, ages and skill levels.

Another common mistake managers make is to stop treating riders as people. People will want and enjoy whatever the developers can reasonably provide: Sustainability is one of those terms that many use and few really understand. In reality, there are four key aspects to sustainability: There are many definitions of resource sustainability. It is one of those terms that makes a trail or project feel warm, fuzzy, and good; and the hope is that it will make the antagonists feel good also. Managers and developers say to the trail consultants: A sustainable trail has constant flow and roll.

Tangents are minimized and grade reversals force water off the trail at regular intervals. Flow is the rhythm of the trail, which is usually created by a very curvilinear horizontal alignment. Roll is the vertical rise and fall of the trail grade. Roll also contributes to the rhythm of the trail, but its key role is providing natural drainage points through grade reversals, which significantly reduce the potential for soil movement. Trail hardening is used where needed and a multitude of trail design and engineering structures are incorporated where applicable.

The tread is durable and the trail offers a high quality recreation experience within the intended difficulty level without the difficulty changing over time due to unintended degradation. Grade is the vertical rise and fall of the trail.

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Rolling the grade means frequent transitions from positive up grades to negative down grades. We also talk about the steepness of the ground referred to as slope or sideslope. Both grade and sideslope are calculated the same way. Calculating grade or sideslope - Grade is the vertical rise and fall of the trail. How sustainable are these? They may not be, but every trail section or challenge area does not have to be sustainable. The value of the recreation experience may outweigh any potential impacts or the value of the resource may not warrant any special mitigations.

The key is that management understands that a trail or area may not be sustainable and makes a conscious decision to manage it that way. There are some steep, gnarly, rutted trails that are going to run water when it rains. Often these are the trails that provide the WOW and are highly valued by the riders.

If that runoff does not have direct connectivity to a stream or if that connectivity can be mitigated with something like a sediment basin, management can decide to accept the tread impacts and more frequent maintenance costs, and keep the trail for its recreation value. As stated previously, OHV recreation needs to be managed and this means ongoing management. The trail or trail system needs to be maintained and evaluated on a regular basis, and adaptive management applied in a timely manner to keep indicators from becoming problems i. This takes personnel, materials, the proper equipment, and funding.

Too often, project planners and developers focus on the design and construction and overlook the critical elements of management and maintenance. All of these usually require trailers and tow-vehicles to move them around. The team will also need much of the same equipment and materials needed for non-motorized trails. They will need hand tools and power tools plus signing, fencing, culvert, and barrier materials.

They may need a small backhoe, mini-excavator, trail dozer, tracked dumpers, and other equipment.

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They will need stockpiles of dirt and various gradations of rock, silt fence, filter cloth, and a place to store all of this. Vehicles and equipment always have something broken, so a place for repairs with hoists and tools is also needed. Then, of course, there is the need for personnel trained and qualified to perform the work and operate the equipment.

These well engineered signs provide clear, simple and effective education messages. The 4Es are the most basic and most essential principles in the successful implementation of an OHV project, or any project for that matter. They are inter-related, co-dependent, and all must be considered and applied to ensure success.

Success will be achieved by utilizing the 4Es in conjunction with commitment, persistence, firm resolution, and hands-on management. Signs make good targets or garage wall decorations. It is important to stay in the ring for all 10 rounds. Persistence leads to success. The message will get through.

Engineering happens on the ground. It is applied during the trail and facility location and design, the trail and facility construction, structures for resource protection or mitigation, signing, fencing and barriers to control and direct use, and having proper operation and maintenance tools and equipment. Education happens in the mind. It is used to welcome the public, set expectations, inform visitors of the rules and regulations, inform riders of open trails and areas and the allowable vehicle types, and inform the rationale for closed or restricted trails.

These messages are conveyed through effective signing, quality mapping, websites, kiosks, conducting complimentary tech checks, and face-to-face communications with the riders. It can be done by managing agency personnel, volunteer trail patrollers, or campsite hosts. Signing and mapping are the primary media by which management communicates with their customers. Both must be clear, concise, effective, and agree with each other.

Properly engineered signs significantly increase rider compliance and reduce the need for the third E: The overwhelming majority of riders want to ride legally. When they get lost or confused due to poor signing or mapping, management has lost control of the use and must live with the consequences. Effective education results in:. Enforcement happens in the wallet. But it is not just about writing tickets and assessing fines. Effective enforcement uses a variety of tools such as face-to-face communication, warnings, and just being seen.

Of course there are those people who only respond to citations and fines. But the majority of the riders feel more secure in areas with visible enforcement and may feel the agency cares about the area. Riders have seen too many riding areas closed due to a few irresponsible people and understand the agency is working to keep these trails open. Effective enforcement results in:. The area with the least resources is always enforcement. However, by doing a thorough job of engineering and education, the need for enforcement can be vastly diminished, although it can never go away.

A Case in Point At the Bear Creel Recreation Site in Kelowna, British Columbia, a major effort was launched to change rider behavior and ethics from a go anywhere, do anything to designated routes only; and to convert from no rules to spark arresters and 96dbA sound limit required. A trail ranger group was formed by the club and they diligently educated and patrolled every weekend for two years. The trail rangers became discouraged and participation waned. The education program was at a critical point and without all of the 4Es, failure loomed on the horizon. Too much had been invested and too much had been gained to risk failure.

Riders had sustainable trails, resources were protected, past impacts had been stabilized and rehabilitated, and stakeholders were gaining acceptance. All of this hard work and positive results were about to be negated by the lack of the ability to implement all of the 4Es. Evaluation tells us what is happening. It tells us how well the managers have achieved the other Es. Monitoring is the component that ties all of the Es together. How is the manager doing? Are the closure and rehab efforts successful?

Is the signing effective, fading, shot up, or still in place? Are riders compliant with the rules and regulations? Is there a high level of customer satisfaction? What feedback is coming back from the riders, law enforcement, stakeholders, or general public? Are the erosion control measures in place and effective?

Are the trail structures in place, sound, and effective? Is the trail starting to degrade from poor design, lack of maintenance, or increased use? All 4Es and all personnel must work together. For the best results, have everyone perform the evaluation. Anyone involved in the project site should be involved in the monitoring of the site. This includes the riders, all field personnel, law enforcement, trail patrollers, management, etc. How often does evaluation occur? At some level, it occurs daily. It is a team effort and everyone should have their eyes and ears open whenever they are on site.

The 4Es are a process of adaptive management. Implement, observe, and then make any necessary corrections in a timely manner. With experience in OHV management and behavior, the observers will be able to predict what will or could occur before a problem or issue even starts. Management then has the unique opportunity to make pro-active adjustments. Managers will always be more effective if they can work with human nature rather than against it.

Dispersing the riders is a key to successful OHV management because it spreads the riders out over a larger area. Why is this a benefit? By providing dispersal, there are fewer riders on any given section of trail. While this can reduce trail maintenance costs and potential wildlife disturbances, it primarily reduces the number of encounters with other riders and enhances the quality of the recreation experience.

Like any other trail recreationist, OHV riders value stopping and enjoying the natural environment. Having several junctions in the vicinity of the trailhead will disperse riders more quickly. Having a large acreage to work with and a high-mileage trail system is certainly an advantage in providing the opportunity for dispersal, but dispersal is actually achieved by providing multiple loops or trail junctions.

Each trail junction serves as a decision point, a rider can go left or right. The more decision points there are the more effective the dispersal. From a trail planning and design standpoint, the more decision points that can be provided in the proximity of the trailhead or staging area, the more quickly the riders can be dispersed.

Even on small trail systems or OHV parks, though the trails may be more concentrated and the available mileage reduced, some level of dispersal can still be achieved by providing more trail junctions. As a general rule, as the opportunity for dispersal goes down, the need for site hardening goes up to increase durability. The sooner they can get onto their OHVs and the longer they can stay on their OHVs, the happier they will be remember: Seat time, or riding time, is the primary component of the recreation activity time in which a rider participates or experiences in a given day.

Recreation activity time includes:. The more seat time, the better the recreation experience. Why is seat time important to the OHV manager? The same applies to a trail system. Suppose there is a destination trail system with a campground. It will not be uncommon for an ATV group to come and camp for 2 to 5 days over a long weekend. If an ATV rider can ride 50 miles in a day on the trails and there are only 50 miles of trail, there is one day of riding provided. What will the rider do for the other days of their stay? Having adequate mileage while still protecting resources is essential, but the other part of the equation in determining seat time is speed.

If there are 20 miles of trail and it can be ridden at 20 miles per hour, one hour of seat time has been provided. If the designer is creative and makes the trails tighter, more serpentine, and reduces tread width so that the trails can now only be ridden at 10 miles per hour, the seat time has doubled.

The advantages to the OHV manager are obvious. The challenge for the system planner and trail designer then is to maximize the mileage and reduce the speed. Reducing the maximum possible speed does not eliminate the challenge or experience for the riders. They can still ride a trail at their fastest possible speed regardless of whether that speed is 2mph or 20mph. What if the size of the project area or OHV park does not allow for enough trail miles for one or more days?

While seat time is important, spending quality time with friends and family in the outdoors also is an important aspect of recreation activity time. Recreation Activity Time includes: Seat Time Spectating time Learning time skills building, interpretation, etc. Viewing time scenery, wildlife, etc. Socializing time trail rests, campfire gatherings, etc. Eating time including picnics Other activities fishing, group activities such as volleyball, swimming, etc.

Being able to ride to a desirable destination can extend and enhance the time on the ride. Viewpoints, interpretive sites, cultural or historical sites, ponds, streams, waterfalls, wildlife viewing opportunities, lunch at a lodge, photo opportunities, etc. The objective for the OHV manager is to provide sufficient recreation activities for the time the average visitor will spend at the site.

OHV parks can do this nicely because they can offer many diverse activities, including trails, a variety of tracks, mudding areas, training and kiddie areas, rock crawl, endurocross and other technical features, play areas or open riding areas, concessions, fishing, and camping. More recreation activity time results in:.

One-way trails increase safety. This is a Trap because safety is decreased. This is a topic that always generates a lively discussion. Riders will often request trails be made one-way. Their argument is safety by reducing the risk of a head-on collision. Because riders will change their riding behavior if there is a possibility of another vehicle coming from the opposite direction, a two-way trail can be safer than a one-way trail.

In addition, trails ride differently in different directions. The view is different, the flow is different, and the challenges are different. In essence, having two-way trails doubles the riding opportunity. This is especially important in OHV parks or other areas with low-mileage trail systems. One-way trails should be the exception and not the rule. That being said, there are places where it is appropriate to have one-way trails. There are two elements necessary to make them work: With the signing comes an increase in monitoring to ensure that the signs stay in place.

Many learner loops and kiddie tracks are one-way. Some most difficult technical trails are one-way since the ground is so technical that encountering a rider coming up an obstacle as another rider is coming down the obstacle could leave no way to stop or pass. Consider as an example, if a rider starts down a one-way trail and has some type of mechanical or personal issue, human nature will dictate that the rider will take the quickest way back even if that means going the wrong way on a trail. There is always a risk of collisions on OHV trails.

However, there are much better and more effective engineering methods to decrease potential impacts with two-way trails than are possible with one-way trails. These other methods have the advantage of keeping seat time greater. The effects of one-way trails can potentially be:. This user-created fall line runs right up the bottom of a swale, so water drains in from both sides and has no place to go except down the trail. As the water gains velocity, it starts to scour the tread surface and carry sediment to the bottom.

This is evident by the trench eroded down the middle of the trail. There is a tendency among managers to use existing elements in their project area, usually roads and user-created trails. The rationale is that using existing infrastructure reduces ground disturbance by using what is already there; roads and user-created trails were intended for motorized use and therefore they should serve well as designated motorized trails; reduces construction costs; possibly simplifies the environmental analysis and process; and potentially placates project critics.

While all of these may be true, there can be adverse effects from a recreation and OHV management standpoint. Most roads were intended to provide a transportation experience, not a recreation experience. Many user-created trails follow the path of least resistance or maximum vehicle stability to get from Point A to Point B, which usually means that they follow the draws or ridges.

These are called fall line trails and they are not desirable because they channel water, which leads to scouring, soil movement erosion , and sedimentation. Many were created by competitive events, so they may satisfy that experience but they do not satisfy the needs of recreational riders. A trap that planners can fall into is to assume that since users made the user-created trails they must provide a quality experience for the users.

Some do, but most do not. Many existing roads and trails are likely to be non-sustainable and offer a low or poor recreation experience. This is directly counter to two of the three elements for success: Create a recreation experience, not a transportation experience Is the solution not to use existing roads and trails? The challenge for the planners is to creatively explore what they have, but not automatically be married to it.

The key is separating out the roads, trails, or segments that are sustainable, provide variety, and contribute to a quality experience, and can be incorporated without incurring increased maintenance. Utilizing existing infrastructure can be a useful trick or an expensive trap.

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Variety and its benefits have been mentioned several times in this chapter because it is an important management tool. Riding on the trails is the primary reason an OHV rider visits a riding area. Expanding the variety, and thus, the experience adds pleasure to the riders. Planners can expand the variety by adding loops, narrow trails, trails on roads, changes in difficulty, changes in topography and vegetation, youth training areas and learner loops, mudbogs, play areas, or technical challenge courses.

Always use quality materials for OHV trail systems The final tool is quality. Quality is created when there are trails with adequate mileage, a high fun factor, and creative variety; a simple well-organized kiosk that has maps in the map box; the information on the map matches the signing on the ground; a toilet that looks and smells clean and is stocked with paper and sanitizer; and the trails and the signing look professional and are well-maintained.

Quality is the effective application of all of the components of the Great Trail Continuum: If the proper time and effort is not spent in each one of these steps, the entire project could be jeopardized. A trail is placed on a dynamic landscape, therefore the trail and its management must be dynamic This is the basis for the concept of the Great Trail Continuum. Each component is equally important and each component must be effectively performed and implemented in order to create a great trail.

Some planners look at planning as a white elephant—a paper exercise that wastes time, wastes money, and is not productive. But it is an essential component of the continuum. Why is it called a continuum? Because the process never stops. The team plans, designs, implements, maintains, and manages. This is called adaptive management and it is important because a trail is imposed on a dynamic landscape, therefore the trail and its management must be dynamic.

There will always be a need for change. This is a swamp buggy trail in Florida. Chapter 1 discussed the three elements for success: Neither of the first elements can be achieved without first planning for them. The essential steps in the planning process are:. Developing a vision means that planners must ask the following questions: What needs to be done?

What can be done given the constraints of the site, resource concerns, politics, or management? What vehicle types will be accommodates? What experiences will be provided? What opportunities are there for difficulty levels and challenges? What facilities will be provided? What opportunities are currently being provided in the area or region? What levels of visitation can be expected? Where do the planners fit in the big picture—what is their niche?

The vision is important because it provides a target or goal. The vision should be written down, and the entire project team and stakeholders should be in agreement so everyone is working together toward a common goal. The vision can change as more information is collected about the project area. It also needs to be realistic, attainable, and affordable.

Planners must understand the use before they can develop a vision. What range of experiences can be provided?

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The team needs to understand the uses that are currently occurring at the site. Planners can then refer back to the first key element for success: A key consideration in planning is to understand that OHV riders travel in groups and that generally those groups have a mixture of vehicle types. If at all possible, provide a variety of trail widths that interconnect at regular intervals to accommodate those different vehicle types. By doing this, a group can ride their respective trails and still have the opportunity to regularly meet up with the rest of their group.

It is a definite benefit to have an OHV specialist on the planning team. If one is not available, consider adding a club member, state or provincial association member, or an OHV consultant. Resorts and campgrounds connected to a trail system offer variety for the riders and a positive economic impact for the surrounding communities. Planners should next consider their niche by asking about other opportunities that are currently being provided in the area or region.

Will the trail provide something different or unique? Where will customers come from? If most of the customers are within a couple of hours driving distance, most of the use will be day use. If a motorcycle rider can ride 50 miles in a day, then there should be at least 50 miles of trail. However, if customers will be coming from outside of the area, then they will likely be coming for a weekend or long weekend.

Now, if that motorcycle rider is here for 2. The Vision - With no challenging terrain available, this rock garden was created. Having a grasp on the demographics has a definite influence on the project planning beyond just the miles of trail being provided. If customers are coming for a weekend, where will they stay? Perhaps there should be a campground, or maybe there are local motels or RV parks that could use an economic boost from the trail system or OHV park.

An important consideration, though, is do these existing facilities have adequate parking and turnaround space for big rigs? What about an event area for closed course races, drag strip, tractor pull, or other competitions? Some parks provide non-OHV activities such as ziplines, activity areas for volleyball or badminton, and playgrounds. Other areas provide equipment rental or food concessions. Are there ponds or lakes that could provide swimming or fishing opportunities? Could the trail or trail system connect with other trail systems or towns to provide multi-day ATV, ROV, or dual-sport touring?

If so, there is the potential to create some outstanding and unique recreation experiences. The Hatfield-McCoy trail system in West Virginia and the Paiute trail system in Utah not only provide fabulous riding but also are huge economic boosts to the local economies. All of these potential activities could contribute to the essential element of.

Few people ride their OHV for 10 hours straight every day. Planners should provide a creative mix of activities and experiences. Will there be events on the trails? Depending on the soils, vegetation, and topography, trails that will have competitive events may need to be designed differently in order to be sustainable.

Many soil types cannot endure a high volume of use in a short duration of time. This also applies to OHV parks where there may not be events on the trails, but there is a high volume of use on generally a low-mileage trail system. Loops Connectivity Mileage Seat time Dispersal Seat time Scenic diversity Variety Terrain diversity Variety When developing a vision, it is easy to become micro-focused on just the area of concern, but the planning team should step back and look at the big picture. Instead of looking at one trail, planners should look at developing a system of trails.

Instead of looking at a group of individual trails, they should look at developing a managed trail system. On a broader scale, planners should consider if there is an opportunity to link several trails or groups of trails to several communities. All of these can add to the quality of the recreation experience and to the effectiveness of the management of the use. To continue the vision, the planners need to conduct a site assessment to determine the feasibility of the vision. Will the site support the vision?

If not, what can it support? The assessment needs to look at the topography, soil types, vegetation, climate, known resource concerns wildlife habitat, riparian areas, cultural resources, etc. All issues need to be assessed and documented. If no one on the team has the expertise to conduct this assessment, consider having a consultant do it. Consultants may see things that the team had not considered and their eyes are unbiased, objective, and professional.

So far, the team has collected the following data: Gypsum City OHV Park is a community partnership developed and dedicated to enhance recreational opportunities and promote tourism and economic diversity. With its many diversified activities and year-round usage, the goal is to provide a place where families can enjoy the Iowa outdoors in a beautiful well-managed setting. High-quality sustainable trails will provide a range of experiences while well-designed facilities will cater to the needs and comfort of our visitors.

The next step is to build a spatial database with all known information about the site. Often this is called a resource, inventory, opportunity, or constraint map. This data is best recorded as layers in a program such as a Geographic information system GIS. Each type of information is recorded in its own layer, and the layers can be easily turned on or off depending on the type of information needing to be displayed on the screen or map. Commercial-grade global positioning system GPS units have the ability to store a wide range of information about each trail or trail segment.

These are called data dictionaries and they can be downloaded to form the GIS layers. Data can be collected as to the road and trail widths, use type, grade, trail condition degradation , surface type, indicators of erosion, condition of road and trail structures, etc.

For inventory of the trail centerline, the smoothest GPS tracks will be obtained by riding the trail, but assessing the condition of that trail is best done on foot. Many GPS units on the market have the capability of taking photographs and linking them by position to the trail being GPS inventoried. This can be extremely helpful especially if the planner is not the person collecting the data. The photos can be great tools to show general trail width and condition; indicate trail problems; portray difficulty; portray soil and vegetative type and cover; show existing signing; or highlight unique features, opportunities, or habitats.

The following information should be collected for the resource and planning analysis utilizing existing databases, GPS collected information, and field data:. Although this is a lot of data, planners should remember that the goal is to design a sustainable high-quality trail or trail system that protects resource values and provides high-quality recreation experiences. These objectives can only be accomplished by having thorough knowledge of the site. The next step in the process is to develop a trail concept map. For planners to produce a good product, they need multi-resource data, accurate data, and complete data.

It can be expensive to collect this comprehensive data; however, planning is the building block or foundation of the trail system. It will be cheaper and more efficient to gather the information now than to have a critical resource issue surface after the construction crews and equipment are on site. In addition, the person doing the trail layout and design must be intimately familiar with almost every square foot of the site. When that person stumbles across a trail or other feature that was not on the inventory, everything must stop until that feature is explored, GPS inventoried, and incorporated into the trail concept plan as either a designated or closed route.

Paying for good data upfront can save project dollars and time later on in the process. Features like this should be included in the inventory and utilized whenever possible. Who should be collecting the field inventory data? Ideally, from a consistency and continuity standpoint, it should be the trail planner and designer.

That way, the same set of eyes and evaluation criteria are used to gather the data and translate it into a plan on paper. Often that is not possible. Sometimes club volunteers gather the data, but they may not have the skills to recognize sustainability issues or understand resource values. Sometimes, agency personnel collect the data, but they may not have a good grasp of desired rider experiences, difficulty, the elements of a sustainable trail, or recognize potential opportunities. Planners could consider hiring contractors with OHV expertise who can gather quality data quickly and efficiently.

The resource map is a working document; therefore, it reflects the information currently available and can change as additional or modified data is obtained. Given the knowledge of the project area, the vision, the understanding of the vehicles to be accommodated, and the desired recreation experiences to be provided, and the inventory map, the planner can now sit down and start mapping out a conceptual trail system.

In designing a trail system, the planner must understand:. This is a complex and cerebral process and, depending on the size of the project area, it can be a huge task. This is also a good time to talk about the importance of developing open, honest working relationships with the resource specialists.

These relationships must be based on unbiased professionalism and trust. Without that, the cohesiveness and the effectiveness of the planning team could be diminished. The members of the local club, the Northern Nevada ATV Association, were excited and anxious to get a new riding opportunity. They spent years attending meetings with stakeholders, the county, and the Bureau of Land Management. The environmental analysis process took years to complete and then was further delayed by an appeal. During that time, there was a change in the county commissioners and support at that level was no longer assured.

It took eight years before construction could finally begin and by then the energy of the club had waned, membership had dropped, some members had developed health problems, and others had quit out of frustration. Without the dedication and persistence of the club, the project may not have come to fruition. Not only is the development of the trail concept plan a huge step in the process, it is the first step that produces a tangible visualization of what the project will look like.

Up until now, there is usually only a map with a project area boundary on it. Having a visual can stimulate and encourage the planning team and invigorate the clubs and potential volunteers. Getting from project inception to trail concept plan can take years. It is very difficult for any group, especially one made up of volunteers, to maintain energy and enthusiasm for that long of a period. The trail concept plan is a good tool to take to the stakeholders so they can see how the proposed trails may affect their interests.

Lastly, having the trail concept plan in hand is a huge advantage when seeking grants or other funding opportunities. The development of the trail concept plan is the true foundation of the trail system, and it is such an important step it is discussed more thoroughly in the next chapter. Once the trail concept plan has been reviewed and any necessary revisions made, the next step is to develop alternatives if necessary. The trail management objectives TMOs document describes the use and management of a trail and outlines the following:.

By documenting this data, TMOs provide continuity as well as operation and maintenance consistency. Personnel will change, but the trail will still be on the ground and the new personnel will need to know the vision and intent. Over time, the TMOs should be reviewed and revised as use, use type, climate, and landscape changes occur. The TMOs are the thread that weaves the continuum together. The designer must know the intended user, the intended difficulty level, and how the trail will be constructed.

Construction personnel must know the user and the difficulty so that technical features like rocks, logs, and roots can be left or removed. Maintenance personnel must understand the use, the desired experience, and difficulty in order to properly maintain the trail so they know to cut out a log or keep a technical feature. Whoever is inspecting the trail needs to understand the resource values and determine if they are becoming impacted. That person also needs to determine if the trail is still providing the desired experience or difficulty level and ascertain if maintenance, reconstruction, or relocation is warranted.

A lot of good solid data and work has gone into the formation of the trail concept plan, so it can often be used as the proposed action in the environmental analysis process. Each agency, state, or province has different legal requirements and processes for environmental review. It is absolutely critical that their requirements be identified and followed.

Environmental review can add months or years to the project planning but that time period can be reduced by having a solid trail concept plan based on sustainability and resource protection. Under that umbrella, each federal agency then adopts additional regulations and policies for their jurisdictions. There are three levels to NEPA and each level increases in process and complexity. Patience Persistence Long-Term Commitment First is Categorical Exclusion CE or Cat Ex , which is a category or list of actions that, barring extraordinary circumstances, do not individually or cumulatively have a significant effect on the quality of the human environment.

These categories vary widely between agencies; however, designation or construction of new roads and motorized trails are not generally included. Depending on the agency, a CE may be used for minor reconstruction or relocation of an existing trail. Second is Environmental Assessment EA , which is the most common and used when the expected effects of the proposed action are well understood to have no significant impacts.

The process usually, but not always, explores alternative ways to achieve the purpose and need, analyzes the effects of those alternatives, and affirms that the selected alternative with appropriate mitigations has no significant environmental impacts. This process is used for projects that may have a significant environmental impact. An EIS will almost always explore more than one alternative that meets the purpose and need. The alternatives display options and trade-offs between significant issues.

Trail enthusiasts need to be good partners to help agencies develop their trails. Scoping is an essential component in the NEPA process. While not every project goes through the NEPA process, in every project area, there are individuals or groups who have an interest in the area or who could be directly affected by the project.

Scoping needs to be done to determine the interests and then a contact list should be developed and those stakeholders notified of the project and its progress. This is important because any or all of the interests may have issues or concerns with the proposed trails in the project area. It is far better to flush those issues out early, rather than to have irate opponents surface later. When all of the issues are on the table, planners can address them either by changing the trail concept plan, developing another alternative, or changing the scope or level of mitigations.

Time allows the planners to better understand the issues and also allows the opportunity to build a working relationship with the interested publics. There are two types of interested publics: Special interest groups have an indirect interest, advocacy, or philosophical position. These groups lobby for a position and they could be OHV groups, conservation groups, or timber groups. Stakeholders are individuals, groups, or entities that have a direct and active interest in the project site.

Stakeholders could include riding club s , private inholders, range permittees, timber interests, mining interests, other tenure holders, neighboring residents, utility companies with corridors through the project site, irrigation districts, tribes and First Nations, hunters, and other trail user groups. Grants were secured and a contract was let to perform trail layout and design. They went to the county commissioners and got their support in opposition to the project. That group had been in favor of the project until a recent election changed the commissioners.

Then the hunters went to the media and started beating the war drums of emotionalism. A town hall meeting was held followed by more meetings with the Bureau of Land Management. The NEPA process was followed, but could the outcome have been different with more scoping and public involvement early on? Sometimes the stakeholders are brought together as a group with regular meeting dates. These can be called an advisory committee, oversight committee, or steering committee.

These committees can be a good forum for an open discussion of the issues, but they can also be a forum for heated debate, collusion of interests, and shifting focus to positions to interests that impede rather than expedite the process. If a group is formed, an experienced and impartial moderator should facilitate the group to keep it focused and moving in a positive direction. A meeting with stakeholders in the field. It can be more effective to meet with the stakeholders individually rather than in a group, and it is very productive to conduct that meeting in the field if possible.

In the field, it is easier to deal with the real issues; the conversations tend to be less polarized and dramatic; and the perspective of the issues and scope of the landscape is much better than gazing at a map. Like the resource specialists, it is important that planners develop a positive, professional working relationship with the stakeholders. This relationship does not stop when the planning is finished, it continues through the implementation and beyond. No discussion about stakeholders, planning, and environmental review processes would be complete without talking about the 3Ps: There are politics in everything, including in a family, club, state and provincial organization, and work environment.

Certainly, in dealing with relationships with stakeholders, interest groups, the land managers, and their staff planners must put on their political hat and diplomatic face. Involvement means building trustful working relationships, even with people who may have very different philosophies. Successfully working with multiple interest groups can be like walking a tightrope. Smiles and sincerity can open doors; negative body language and careless remarks or actions can close them. A wise man once said that there is a time to talk and a time to listen. The wise approach when walking into a new group is to listen first and talk second or not talk at all.

By listening, planners can better understand issues, agendas, underlying motivations, and under the table alliances. Listening builds trust and allows planners time to mold their thoughts into effective comments. Since a trail lays on a dynamic landscape, the trail and its management must be dynamic. In the NEPA process, two ways to facilitate change are 1 survey and assess the effects of a trail corridor, not just a trail, and 2 include adaptive management verbiage in the NEPA document.

Flexibility to change Increased sustainability Proactive Management Increased rider satisfaction Decreased resource impacts Establishing a corridor of 50, or better yet a , feet each side of the trail centerline gives the designer room to make final alignment or grade adjustments prior to construction. It also provides flexibility during construction to move the trail slightly if solid rock or other unsuitable material is encountered. And finally, as the planning team moves along the continuum into long-term maintenance and management, a corridor allows room for minor relocation of the trail as the condition of the trail, its use, or its environment changes.

Adaptive management verbiage means including a few sentences in the NEPA document that say: Or if there is a catastrophic fire or weather event that affects the sustainability of the trail, the team will consider moving it. Some simple wording in the body of the document and consideration in the effects section can expedite the need for changes later on because the change is still meeting the intent of the document. SDome people vehemently dislike OHVs.

This sentiment can complicate the planning process as managers and planners need to sort out the physical issues from the emotional issues. Physical issues can usually be addressed and mitigated; emotional issues are more difficult to resolve. Because of this, it is critical that the OHV club provides support to the planners and land managers and that they speak with a unified voice. There was no local ATV club, so there was no local support base. Even though there are a lot of ATVs used for ranching and hunting, most of those users did not see the benefit in developing a trail system since they could already ride almost anywhere they wanted.

Don't fall into the trap of arguing or defending your project or position in the media. Some of the best partners can be stakeholders who can see a direct benefit to themselves. Talk to them individually, find out their needs or concerns, and determine how the project can address them. City officials and county commissioners and regional districts can also provide a good support base. Planners should talk to them and show them how the project benefits the community and the economy. Local support is far more effective than non-local support, so while it is a benefit to have a letter of support from state or provincial officials or user associations, that support is not the same as support from those who are directly affected.

All non-motorized groups are opposed to motorized recreation. This is a trap because opening new motorized trails which allow non-motorized recreation can create additional opportunities for all trail users. This is another arena where effective use of the 3Ps is essential. This is an asset, so planners should capitalize on it. Opponents will focus the media on negative aspects of the project. Several other components or building blocks are necessary to complete the planning foundation. Just as having broad-based support builds solidity, planning documents also add to the solidarity of the project.

They can answer questions before they are asked, can address concerns early on, and put the planners and managers in a proactive, knowledgeable position. These documents include the management plan, sign plan, map, architectural theme, barrier design, monitoring plan, interpretive plan, and rehabilitation and erosion control plan Management Plan. A management plan provides programmatic direction and guidance, and includes these key components:. Signing and mapping are the two primary means that management has to communicate with its customers while they are on site.

• Should you go to, or stay at, West Point by John T. Reed.
• No More Singing the Job Loss Blues?
• Namibian Soundscapes: Music of the People and the Land.
• Chapter One: Principles of Successful OHV Management?
• String Quartet No. 5 in E-flat Major, Op. 44, No. 3 - Viola!
• Legends of the Fall.
• My World Of Poetry: With Life Comes Death.

Simple, consistent, effective signing is critical to the success of any project. The sign plan establishes direction on the types of signs, shapes, colors, messages, materials, and placement. It is more important to have a map be functional than to have it look pretty and be expensive. The map must be rider friendly and effectively provide riders with the information they are looking for. Both mapping and signing are covered more in-depth in Chapter 9. Many projects have an architectural theme to give the project an identity and a brand.

Sometimes the theme conforms to the recreation opportunity spectrum ROS , which provides guidance for the look and recommended materials in a setting that ranges from primitive to urban. Barriers control and direct use. Planners should have a barrier design that is used consistently throughout the project. Just like signing, riders learn to recognize a barrier and what it means.

Barriers do not need to be tall, obtrusive, physical barriers. A low barrier that blends with the setting can be more effective and visually appealing. A hydrologist monitors the stability of a beaver dam above this trail.

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There are two types of monitoring plans: Formal plans are specific and scientific. They involve establishing photo points, plots, and data collection points to measure and record changes in the trail or surrounding environment. They can include water quality monitoring or radio collaring game species to assess changes in behavior and physiological effects. Formal monitoring often requires specialized equipment and specially trained personnel who make it expensive and labor intensive—two attributes that are generally in short supply.

When budgets get cut, monitoring is often on the top of the list. Blair from the University of Aberdeen: So, Helen and Olly, answer me this: Answer Me This… is there any relation between the humble johnny and a French settlement, or is it simple linguistic coincidence? The slightest sound and they would be ringing the doorbell and complaining. Trust me when I say my sister was not living in a party household! So one night we started a trend of pissing on the neighbours growing strawberries when coming back from nights out, a trend that lasted 2 years, so answer me this… What is the best revenge that you have carried out or heard of?

Am I the only person listening to you from inside a prison? I was in an airport a couple of days ago and one of the restaurants had a different omelette for each day of the week. After how long do spoilers become socially acceptable? For example, ruining the end of The Sixth Sense is now a part of popular culture. Helen, answer me this: Does your mum want him to convert to Judaism like she did? I thought he was a Venetian merchant, so whats going on there?

Not only that, it was also my 24th birthday that day so you can understand my right royal fucked-offness! With this in mind, I think it would be a fitting and justified that the following question can be answered by your good selves… Answer me this…. Why are brides to be such head-cases when it comes to organising weddings? It cant be that fucking difficult.

Annnnyway, Helen and Olly: I know what it means, it means that something is easy. They are bloody hard. Jon, 14, from Bath: The person said orange peel was used as an early form of contraception. The only exercise they get is running away from the police. Callum from Colne Engaine: I think he may have been wearing a beanie. Do you know whose album it was? So, Helen, Olly and Martin — because we think you are cool too!

Is asking a question on a comedy podcast the right way to come out to work mates? I know that Christianity is full of strange and wonderful mysteries — how the Archbishop of Canterbury gets his eyebrows to stand up like that for example — but answer me this: Michelle in Arlington Heights, Illinois: My husband claims it is, but I feel uneasy having it sit out all the time.

Where do you keep your butter? Why does it cost so much and take so long? Why is it as American as apple pie? I got my arm pierced the other day. I really love it and think it looks cool. What is the easiest way to shut up or kill the people who keep calling me stupid? Sam from Milton Keynes: What reason would he have to ask me out? The only thing he knew about me was what my voice sounded like. How do I get more people to listen to Answer Me This!

I have introduced two of my friends and they listen regularly but I tell other people about you and they refuse to listen. Sarah and Michael in Melbourne: Drawing on your collective wealth of life experience, how can we get back at him aside from the obvious having sex very loudly? I have an ex-girlfriend who I was with for 2 years. Could you please answer me this: Lew from the Czech Republic: Do they spoil the fun for you? Do you try to compose your features on rollercoasters these days?

Francis from Northern Ireland: If it does nothing what is its purpose? Leila in Medford, MA: I am a Muslim, and I know a moderate amount of Arabic. When I see romanized Arabic words, sometimes they have apostrophes in them i. I failed to find anyone who had a proficient knowledge of both English and Arabic, and therefore could answer my question. Honestly, my next best bet was this. Beth from West Sussex: Surely the pills would work for ladies too? Do doctors just not like women? The plan was not to mention it was my birthday, but I heard that they make you stand on a chair and sing to you.

And when was the last time you wanted this to happen to you? I just wanted to say thanks for the advice you gave me in episode If so how did it go? Alastair, concerned in London: I recently listened with interest to the multiple egg references in episodes 94 and This is because I am allergic to eggs, and they make me violently sick if I have the misfortune of ingesting them in any form. When the time comes, will I be able to father children with my future wife, or will my army of wriggly man tadpoles run crying at the sight of an ovum?

This seems to have nothing to do with the interior design or the purpose for which it is used. And have you ever been in one? Eleanor from St Albans: Why not another word? I was on a train back from New York last week and hot towels were handed out before our meal was served. A good number of travellers used the towels to not only wipe their hands, but their faces, neck, behind the ears, etc. Think about that for a moment — talk about spreading germs, not to mention swine flu, etc. Why do people feel the need to use the hot towels given before a meal to wash all of their exposed body parts?

Do these same people do this in restaurants as well? What would Olly or Martin do? You answer all the the questions I have wanted to know since I was an awkward teenager, and am now beginning to feel whole in my life!! Do you think it is wise, or cool, to wear a stupid looking yellow tie on a major news channel just saw Olly on Sky News!! Do you know how the Chinese feel about beards generally? They add no taste and merely prevent people with certain allergies from enjoying a nice burger! Is there a reason for this or is there just an evil billionaire living in a volcano somewhere who owns a burger-bun monopoly and wants to fuck up the world in his own little way?

Who thought it would be a good idea for children to pretend to reattach an appendage to an animal and why choose a donkey of all things? Adam from South-West London: Nina and Naomi from Brittany: Before she left, a colleague gave her three pieces of advice for living in England: My question is, what three pieces of advice would you give to someone coming to live in England for the first time? It might look a bit expensive but it is unbelievably delicious. I have to find an excuse to go there every time I go to London. I was reading about some political scandal the other day.

I am as atypical a practitioner as is possible. There is a guy in my school who gets pissed every week, he has his own facebook group dedicated to his antics with over members. Or do you think that becoming a minor weblebrity can only be a good thing? Connor, 14, from Scotland: I was going out with a girl in the year above me at school for almost 4 months until she dumped me at the end of February.

It did bother me but I dealt with it pretty quickly, I was still talking to her on MSN now and then and I saw her at school sometimes. Everything was going fine until she started going out with my brother. And if you think I should talk to them, how do I tell them I want them to break up without making myself seem selfish? If you were to be likened to a vegetable what would you like to be? No STDs, thank you Olly. Miley Cyrus is only 12 or something — what has she got to write about? I recently thought of a genius idea to make a wallet out of Pokemon cards!

I thought it looked awesome and really original. However, my mates just took the piss out of it. Is it sad to make a wallet out of Pokemon cards? This seems very strange to me, so Helen and Olly answer me this: They were surprisingly heavy but very intricately decorated.

Helen answer me this; can I put you down for a reference? You have good telephone manner and I imagine you would be good at bullshitting people into giving me a job. I am concerned about health and safety issues so Answer Me This: Is it true that chocolate is a substitute for sex? I just went on a school ski trip and everyone got so shocked when the teachers had some wine to drink. There were three bottles for eight of them which is about as much my parents drink on a Saturday.

Why was everyone so shocked? Surely dental TV should make you feel better about being there! My first big trip is in a few weeks. I will be visiting a friend in San Francisco. He also said that he and all of his friends dance dirty. In my opinion, it would basically be like dancing with a straight girl.

Are canine testicles really pretty amazing on closer inspection? My neighbor has a parrot that is driving me crazy. What is the most humane way to kill a parrot. I was thinking a cat or a falcon, or maybe just strangle it and leave a suicide note in its cage? I like all other pets, just not parrots. I wanted to know what would be a good gift to give my parents? I went to a Chinese restaurant 3 years ago and broke open a fortune cookie that prophesied vast riches and uncountable luxuries! So what shit are you too old for? Is it true that you can turn horses into glue?

If so, what is the procedure? And how do you condense a whole horse into a tub of glue? My girlfriend is making me cook her lobster. I need to be prepared. I was revising today and my dad caught me playing Playstation. He told me to get my thumb out of my arse and get studying. Where does this expression come from? I very rarely have my thumb up my arse!

I have just recently got a job in a book shop and I am new to the wacky ways and goings of the people there. So I am curious to know where this saying comes from. I am from Canada, and my girlfriend is from the Isle of Wight. Would they really have? Come to think of it, one woman did raise an eyebrow.

What North American vernaculars have proven confusing for you? How do you tell your teacher they have massive pit-stains? So please, save my career and reputation within the school by reading my question out! Is it inappropriate for me, as a teacher, to be recommending your occasionally potty-mouthed podcast to my pupils? I reckon if you remove the association it just sounds a bit sarcastic. Holy BatBalls, you guys! Last night I was out and I saw one of my teachers, who is married to another one of my teachers, holding hands and laughing with a young girl who was NOT my teacher.

He saw me, I saw him see me, he let go of her hand, it was all very awkward. So what do you think? What sort of important stuff have you lost? Becky the Manx ice-cream monster: Why is blue thought of as a boy colour? Did men of the past always wear it or something? And did women always wear pink? Surely your father is one of the last people you should be thinking of before, during or after getting jiggy-wid-it. So why do people read those magazines that describe soap storylines weeks in advance? Or is there some perfectly benign answer that i should know already?

Keith, now of Bradford, originally from Staffordshire: If you had to; Ester Rantzen or Cilla Black? Is it wrong to think about your mates mum? And have you ever tried explaining rugby offside?!?! Kerplunk or Jenga for pub-based action games? Why does dirty food, like a proper sweaty kebab, taste so good after a bellyful of beer?

As this was a PROPER fan club, with a membership card, badge and introductory letter featuring secret club codes and the like, it made me wonder… Helen and Olly, answer me this: And if so, which ones? They sent out fliers containing their menu, containing mostly typical pies, but a few speciality pizzas caught my eye. Chicken Cordon Bleu, which has ham, chicken, Swiss cheese and Alfredo sauce.

Look, I like chicken cordon bleu, but a pizza based around it sounds dodgy. With macaroni and cheese. I am both horrified and intrigued by these pizzas. Russian dressing instead of sauce, sauerkraut, corned beef, and Swiss cheese. It was the stuff of gastronomical nightmares. I recently had an important meeting with a Distinguished Gentlemen in a cafe, and I noticed he had split cappuccino down his jumper. Should I have told him before he went to his next meeting? I like their music and think Amy Lee incredibly talented. I was only trying to cheer her up. Does it serve a purpose, or is it just there for kicks?

I have worked in the same office for about 2 years now and I have come to realise that I really fancy my boss, and get strong indications that she feels the same. Or is this craziness? Are we destined to carry on fancying each other with nothing ever happening? So Helen and Olly answer me this, what interesting questions can I ask her, so that I can find out more about her in depth and also not run out? I have just discovered Google Street View.

I have never been to London so I had a look around the areas I frequently hear about so I can get a visual image of what it looks like. Thinking of you guys I had a look around Crystal Palace, may I say you live in a very nice area. Helen and Olly answer me this: Having a look around the famous Camden, I found this. It made me laugh, but what do you think? I run a little restaurant in Huddersfield, and generally my customers are smashing people. However sometimes they are mean-spirited bad-tempered wankers, with no idea of how to behave in public.

Why does it exist? Why do people need to know every little detail about my life? Why is this glorified form of stalking ok? Why is it addictive? Jonathon, 13, from Bath: Mumma mia, what a birthday song, My, My, how original, Mumma Mia, Only twenty-one, My, My, what perfect flattery, Yes, really you are ancient, Grey, with a metal hip joint, Why, Why, do you have a dodgy knee, Mumma mia, now i have to go, My, My, I hope that cane is just for show. Does this make me weird, and did you do anything similar when you were younger?

Bears are vicious in real life and would probably rip a child in half! I am a year-old boy, trying to get a job, I have tried filling out loads of application forms for places in bath where I live and sending them in. How can I get a job when I have no previous experience, and I can only work part time? Also what were your guys first jobs? How can I get him to stop gloating? I looked up the website: Please have a look at the video on the first page. Why oh why oh why have they chosen these men to promote smear tests? Lina from Bellevue, Nebraska: I have a co worker who I know for a fact is gay.

But he still insists on pretending that he is not. You can tell that this is stressful for him, pretending to be something he is not. I have been wrestling for the answer to this question for sometime now and really hope you can help. I am a lesbian and last October my wonderful girlfriend and I had our Civil Partnership ceremony which was all lovely and blah blah blah. But that is sooo straight and technically we are not. Are we Civil Partnered? But that is wanky. What the chuffing hell are we? Also, what do we call ourselves? Do I introduce Sharon as my Civil Partner, to show she is more than my girlfriend?

Wife is straight and I know another couple that call each other wifey so that just sticks in my throat. I would find this ironic, as their population numbers are dwindling. I noticed, and I was quite pleased, that the new president Barack Obama is left-handed and, as a fellow southpaw it got me thinking… Has there been a disproportionate number of lefties vs righties that have become great leaders and statesmen compared to the population as a whole? Which brings me to my question: It tastes great but, can you eat it would feeling guilty?

I was chatting casually to my parents this evening about bizarre opera plots. I am a man, 31, and recently split up with my girlfriend. We have a young son. Am I ever going to be able to convince a girl to have sex with me again? Please give me a tactic to convince a girl to have sex with me. Surely clams have nothing to be happy about! So where does this stupid stereotype come from??? I am a photographer and particularly like taking candid shots of people, especially young women. How can I take secret shots in public without them knowing?

So, answer me this, is it wrong to accept gifts? Where did the tradition of clinking glasses come from? Can you fill a hot tub with pudding? What is your biggest fear? Does this point to a serial-killing ? Should I be locked up? How do you eat yours? Is this woman insane or does she genuinely expect me to know the answer to both of these seemingly unanswerable questions?

Do you remember at school, folding a piece of paper so it makes a kind of pyramid? You got a friend to choose a number and you moved your fingers in and out the amount of times they chose then lifted a flap revealing that they stink of piss or something else humorous that you wrote under the numbers in advance.

Is it just laziness? I thought I owed you an update on the older neighbour cum-in-her-bucket situation! I was right, she does want to fuck me which I thought was golden apart from she sent me some saucy photos via text which I can send to martin if he fancies a free wank? Anyway, in the photos she does not look hot at all! Clearly the wrapping is better than the filling. And can you tell me what the one with the spiky ball on the end is?

It was announced this week that Will Young is going to appear on Question Time. If you were given the opportunity to appear on the programme, who would you like to appear on Question Time as your fellow panellists? If you were in the audience what question would you like to ask Will Young? If you were to appear on a panel show, which one would you like to appear on?

I have always been a fan of Just a Minute. Why are passengers so stupid? Mine had to be visiting my Nan with the ornaments as we all had to sit still on the couch for fear of breakages; leaving was like breaking up for the school holidays. Are humans the only creatures that go grey, and if so, why is this? Helen, if you were a fictional nurse, which one would you like to be?

And Olly, which doctor would you like to be? Naturally I ran to my kitchen, heated up some milk and poured it onto some Coco Pops as soon as I could! I took a big mouthful, then felt myself wretch. They taste fucking grim. For around 2 weeks now I have started a relationship with the girl of my dreams. She is the prettiest girl in the school year, so sweet, just lovely.

Well, I happen to be one of those sensitive guys. If I can tell somebody what I am feeling, it makes me more comfortable. I was talking to her on msn and I said to her something along the lines of: Wayne from Blaine, Maine: I have recently heard a rumour from school about a girl who has left now. No one knows if this is true but apparently in her Chemistry class she put a test tube up her private zone and it broke and smashed and the school nurse had to extract the glass!

They always look obese but you never see them eating anything. Martin, what is your favorite thing about Helen? Whose idea was it to put candles on a birthday cake? I heard that scientists have created a lightbulb that lasts forever, but are hiding it for the sake of the lightbulb industry. I turn 30 in 5 months. I realise I have left this a little late but Answer Me This: