Things I Never Told My Mother
I do remember a lot of women telling me that there is a learning curve to mothering. To that, I say — HA! In fact, if the progress of being a mother, it would just continue to go up. All of those recipes for baby food become obsolete when the baby starts eating off mom's plate anyway. All of those potty training tips are a distant memory once that toddler graduates into wearing big-kid underwear. Before having kids, I thought I was overwhelmed when I had a big term paper to turn in, or when there was a deadline looming at work.
After becoming a mom, those things that I once found completely overwhelming seem like a walk in the park. I will say this, though: While I may feel very overwhelmed at times at least 10 times on any given day, when I stop and look at my kids, the feeling tends to subside. A big smile, happy giggles, and outstretched arms make remind me that I am doing something right — even if the house is an absolute disaster.
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When I was pregnant with my first, every single mother I ran into told me to enjoy my sleep while I still could. Like I can really get any sleep with all of the preparations that need to be made, and with this baby doing kickboxing every night! Now, as a mother of two little ones, I definitely understand what all of those experienced mamas were talking about. There is no level of tired that can even compare to the exhaustion that a mom feels. She is on duty 24 hours a day, days a week, days a year. She wakes up when the little one needs to be fed; she comforts him when he has a bad dream; she wakes up before the sun with her little one, even though she has only gotten 2 hours of sleep.
How can there be? There really is no love in the world greater than the love a mama feels for her baby.
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My mom always told me that I would never understand how much she loved me until I became a mom myself. Sure, I know that my mom loved me more than anything in the world, but I never realized how much she really loved me, and how all-encompassing and overpowering that love was — until I held my sons. Her heart is literally stolen and her breath is taken away.
To My Mom: All The Things I Never Told You
No matter what her child does, successes and failures, a mom will love her baby with every inch of her, until her dying day, and beyond. She wiped them away and told me to be safe, and then she called me about times a day for the first few weeks.
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Now I understand why she did that; because she was literally petrified. Now, as a mom, I totally get that. I felt the very same way when I put my little guy on the bus for kindergarten last year. Everyone always says that moms should enjoy the moment before the moment is gone, or that they will be amazed by how quickly their little ones grow. He carried them off to London with him, and this memoir is the result. The progress of the courtship of Arthur and Kim makes fascinating reading, and not only to young Blake, whose existence literally depended upon it.
It starts conventionally enough, with two young doctors meeting at a dance, he on home leave from the RAF in Plymouth, she working in obstetrics in the local hospital in Salford. They dance, drink, flirt, part, and begin to correspond.
THINGS I NEVER TOLD MY MOTHER
From their letters, their relationship is reconstructed, with a little speculation and invention. Their ventriloquist son puts words into their mouths, but he lets us know when he's doing it: She gets to know his family, while he is posted to Iceland, then to the Azores. Are they in love or not? Is he carrying on with other women? We know the ending, but there are twists and turns on the way, obstacles to be overcome.
The greatest of these turns out to be Kim's Irishness. The family was Roman Catholic, and the Morrisons deeply disapproved of Catholicism, even more strongly than they disapproved of Irish wartime neutrality. So Irish Agnes, cajoled by Arthur into meekly changing her name to Kim, concealed as much of her background as she could.
It would be wrong to divulge too much of the plot here, for there is a good deal of suspense in the reaching of the inevitable conclusion, but many from the north of England will recognise this acute account of strong nonconformist anti-Catholic prejudice. My maternal grandmother, known as the mildest of women, is said to have shuddered with horror whenever she saw a nun.
Black beetles, she called them. Young Agnes O'Shea had much to contend with. She was not, however, the uneducated peasant that the middle-class Morrisons feared. She was a qualified doctor, and the most unexpected revelation is the account of her gruelling work as surgeon and obstetrician during the war. Arthur's RAF life, as he somewhat bitterly recognised, was a soft option in comparison. While he was sunbathing in the Azores, complaining about enforced idleness, she, in her 20s, on the home front, was performing dangerous operations, rescuing or failing to rescue mothers and babies, and watching death by the hour.
She continued to work after her marriage, a fact to which her two children seem at the time to have paid little attention, but she did it as discreetly as possible. Want to Read Currently Reading Read.
Things My Mother Never Told Me by Blake Morrison | Books | The Guardian
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