How to Like People Who Are not Like You

They may have been misunderstood and picked on by their classmates all through school. People may routinely overlook or subtly disrespect them. They may have unsympathetic, rejecting family members "Why do you hide in your room all weekend? You should join a sports team like your brother". At the present their only social interactions may be with their annoying co-workers, and their prickly, nitpicking boss. When that's all someone's known, where they haven't seen much of the good side of others, it's hardly surprising that they'd come to the conclusion that people suck.

If someone spends a lot of time alone, and their only social interactions are fleeting and superficial, a lot of the information they're receiving about other people is more general and abstract. They're not getting those firsthand experiences, like a fun night out with friends, that viscerally reinforce how great and funny and generous others can be. Instead they're reading articles about the latest bar-lowering hit reality TV show. They're hearing news about how everyone elected another corrupt windbag politician, or how a majority of the public supports a bigoted law, or how a bunch of far-off countries are mired in horrible atrocities.

They're going on their favorite website and seeing how dumb the commenters have become lately. When you look at people from that detached viewpoint it's not so difficult to be down on your fellow man. Not the deepest, most unintuitive insight here. I think most people who say they hate everyone are lonely and do want friends and meaningful relationships.

They may be discouraged, or conflicted, or gun shy and wary about the whole idea, but they still want closer connections deep down. However, maybe a minority really do have no use for other people, and if they want to do their own thing and not worry about socializing, that's their decision to make. A lot of people may be isolated and feeling hopeless about their chances of creating a successful social life for themselves. What Master Persuaders have learned to do is get beyond rapport and become so sincerely interested in their prospects and customers that they become friends with virtually anyone.

This is powerful because when a connection is made at this level, they are virtually guaranteed success in influencing others. There are few things we find as disconcerting as a stranger asking us personal questions. Yet, that is what many salespeople do the first time they meet a new client or prospect. Top Sales Professionals have learned to find common ground on the business level first by asking easy questions their prospects enjoy answering.

Once a conversation is established, they then earn the right to get personal and become even more connected.

Thinking you don't like people may be a totally reasonable conclusion based on your life so far

We have been conditioned since childhood to respond to the sound of our own name. When someone uses our name we instantly become more comfortable.

1. .
2. Great Expectations [with Biographical Introduction].
3. .
4. ;
5. !

In fact, there is no other word more beautiful to our ears. Master Persuaders recognize that using names strengthens connections and have developed techniques for remembering and using names.

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Find and Solve Problems: The fastest way to lose a connection is to start selling. Selling happens when your mouth-runneth-over with the features and benefits of your product. Shut Up and Listen: Perhaps you are too accommodating with everyone which may make you seem two-faced. When someone asks you to make a decision an uncomfortable one perhaps are you honest or do you say things to avoid making anyone upset?

Not everyone will like you anyway.

Why don't people like me even though I'm nice? - Quora

But, if you truly are a nice and kind person, the people who really know you and are your friend are the ones that really matter. Sometimes, it takes a while for people to warm up. If they see that you really are a good person and want to be your friend, good. They don't like you , why is there a need to spoil your peace of mind based on people's opinion of you. You are a kind human being and you believe it. It's said that if an author writes to impress his readers he'll never be able to actually write well.

Your job is to be unapologetically yourself, to like you or not is other people's problems. You simply cannot keep everyone happy or be liked by everyone,also there's no need to. Being yourself is the key. And,too nice people don't exist, they're just people pleasers , you don't need to be that! Because liking is not something that can be forced, and people are not obligated to like one another.

There is also a difference between being nice in order to be liked and being a nice person — and in this case some people can smell the difference and dislike you just because you are not being true. Some people are just naturally suspicious and they won't like nice people until they are sure they are not pretending in order to get something out of them. I'm so sorry to hear people have been giving you a hard time. We've all been there; excluded or even discriminated.

I'm not sure which kind of people you're referring to that are giving you a hard time but I think you should maybe ask them about it not in public, people might think you're clingy or desperate. Talking to people is always the best solution and I think it could help. Don't do it over text, this could have an even bigger effect than asking in public.

When You Feel Like You Just Don't Like People

Ask in private, and tell them how you feel. Make sure you're nice to the person. Ask New Question Sign In. Why don't people like me even though I'm nice? Answered Jun 20, Why do I feel that people always hate me? Guys don't ask me out even though I'm pretty and good to everyone. Why do I act nice to people even though I don't mean it? Why do people treat me as though I'm bad even though I don't feel like a bad person?

Answered Mar 16, Learn More at try. You dismissed this ad. The feedback you provide will help us show you more relevant content in the future. Thank you for your feedback! Quora User , Been there, done that. Survivor of ordinary for 23 yrs. Answered Jan 17, Elasticsearch Service - Start a day free trial. The only solution built by the makers of Elasticsearch. Free Trial at elastic. There is a difference between liking and tolerating.

Answered Jan 19, Some people have preconceptions about other people and are quick to make judgements and read things into their interactions with you that have much more to do with them than they have to do with you. You might be nice, but if someone has decided and believes that you're not, or that you have some other negative quality, confirmation bias will have them tend towards sustaining a negative opinion of you despite evidence to the contrary. I wouldn't worry about it too much. If you are worried about it, maybe you could ask some of these people why they don't like you?

Possibly they do like you and you have misguidedly formed the notion that they don't and have a confirmation bias of your own?