Love is Not a Game (StraightForward Talk Empowerment Series Book 1)

You better watch out for my fist! It's a whole lotta Oh oh oh oh oh Hell to the no no n-no n-no I said Oh oh oh oh oh Hell to the no no n-no n-no. Jun 20, Lisa rated it really liked it Recommends it for: All females right before they start dating. I am more conservative than Steve, but thought he gave great advice! Steve does go on to give advice on how to keep Mr. So much of it is common sense: Right isn't putting any energy into the relationship, he must not be Mr. Talk to him about your expectations, and if need be, move on! I'm not sure Steve said that last part, but he got close enough.

Why did an old married lady like me keep listening? Steve is very entertaining--and he is right for the most part! Oct 31, Taymara Jagmohan rated it really liked it. It analysed the previous book, but it just carved in a few old memories. Steve, you have taught me a lot. I feel very indebted, and im even happier that i made no mistakes as it regards dating.

Im a student, and i loved the way you mirrored the propinquities you shared with your wife. That's a beautiful example for all the young men, although we dont wish for them to be all the same, but a few similarities are welcome. Muchas gracias AND it was a measure of paragon It analysed the previous book, but it just carved in a few old memories.

Muchas gracias AND it was a measure of paragon. Feb 12, Emilia P rated it liked it Shelves: My boo gave this for me the day before he asked me to marry him. This is the logical follow-up to Act Like A Lady, in that this assumes you've got the dude. And now you gotta deal with him and vice versa. But the basic premise of this is --keep your man happy, and tell him how to keep yo Aw Steve. But the basic premise of this is --keep your man happy, and tell him how to keep you happy. Obviously, overly reductive and gender-biased. Men aren't detail oriented, woman think they can change things, blah blah blah.

But a fun, quick read like the last one, with a few nice stories about Steve's family and his pretty awesome sounding parents. A dose of practicality in an all too muddled world of Sex Laws, I will always listen to you, if not follow you to the letter, Steve old pal. Sep 28, Buggz79 rated it liked it.

There are a number of basic truths covered in this book: Men are more often than not, fairly simple. Don't be fooled by that though, simple organisms are capable of fairly complex behaviour.. A central tenet of manliness is "Doing what you said you'd do". Which in my world translates into Integrity. And this i completely concur with. The rest of it is told from Steve's viewpoint of the world.

Some resonated deeply with me Antinag tips and some of it was meh wear makeup and blazers around There are a number of basic truths covered in this book: Some resonated deeply with me Antinag tips and some of it was meh wear makeup and blazers around each other all the time. In the end though, it got me thinking about what I'm committed to in my relationship with my wife and girls. For that alone, it was worth the read.

Oct 30, Kya Publishing Toronto rated it it was ok. It was being quoted, celebrated, recited, dictated, and read aloud like holy scripture to women near and far. Single woman, married women, dating women: The ladies wanted to hear what Steve Harvey had to say about love and relationships After all, it came from a man we know and love: Broderik Steven Harvey of West Virginia.

A well-dressed and well-respected man with a crazy sense of humour, class, success, and at the age of years of experience with matters of the heart and interpersonal relationships. The book made us laugh out loud, and nod our heads in recognition. An instant best-seller that spent months on the top of the Essence booklist, it was a must-have in the female library.

So women were now craving this perspective. They called the man down, followed him to conferences, linked his radio show, wrote him letters and emails because they wanted to know more. And what did our friend Steve do? He gave us more.

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His second book, Straight Talk, No Chaser, will sell simply based on the reputation and word-of-mouth of the first book. It includes interesting chapters such as: Straight Talk, No Chaser is not nearly as informative--or necessary--as the first was. To compare the two isn't fair. But the truth of the matter is I think I got the point the first time around. Steve--now on his 3rd marriage to Marjorie Bridges--is the father of 7, and sounds like he has a solid hold on his family, his kids, and his spirituality.

He's lived an interesting life, and shared the highs and lows throughout his texts. He is definitely a man of good substance. Here's what he had to share, this time around And if you didn't get it after the first book which was pretty straightforward! Do your standards and requirements reflect who you are and what you're capable of giving back?

If you want your man to be a scholarly businessman Women truly interested in finding the right guy have to get over the fear of losing one - its' OK to a let a man go if he's not the right one for you. It's OK to be single for a while. You have to be willing to move on if someone isn't giving you what you want, and just trust that someone else will eventually come around. Stop compromising your requirements to justify having a relationship with a man who won't give you what you ultimatly want - settling is compromising.

It's not okay to forget about your wants and needs, and settle for security. You can never find true fulfillment this way. Mediocre, yet common-sensical advice at best. I'm not knocking him, he's done a great thing with these books. He's kept it real albeit a "little" bit oooold-school at times , and he's trying his best to prevent women all over the globe from delusion and despair. I love Steve Harvey. I loved him in The Steve Harvey Show. I loved him on The Original Kings of Comedy. I even log into his nationally syndicated morning radio show The Steve Harvey Morning Show online at work to catch two jokes.

I can't say I've watched him on Family Feud yet, but I'm sure he's pretty funny there too. Going forward, perhaps I'd prefer to only see him selling his suits, or on a stage somewhere Get your house in order, put your standards and requirements to use, exercise your power in your relationships, and be willing to walk away. I'm not saying this journey will be easy or quick. But it'll be well worth it. Nov 19, Bjarke rated it really liked it Recommends it for: Very insightful, and good continuation from his first book Act like a lady think like a man.

I particularly like how Steve writes as if he's talking to you, so when you read it's as if he's sitting on the couch opposite to you giving you his advice on how to keep and get your mate. It really has that one-on-one personal feel to it when you read. The content of the book basically revolves around the way men think. He states, throughout the book, a theme of "men are simple" In the sense that Very insightful, and good continuation from his first book Act like a lady think like a man. He states, throughout the book, a theme of "men are simple" In the sense that they aren't over-thinkers, or complex when it comes to particular decisions and he gives a lot of examples and personal scenario to make it clearer for you to picture the idea.

It is sexist in the sense that it's male's perspective on particular matters BUT he does shed light on the way women think and gives them advice on how to control the situation. Personally, It's a good book. What can you take away from reading it? Basically you don't have to comply to every word he says because persons lead different lifestyles but you can use the insight to help other female friends, and it also answers some of the questions that women have been wondering about how men feel on particular matters.

I think that's the age when we want answers and were experimenting with romance and relationships and honestly if your parents hadn't given you "the talk" then you'd be like a fish out of water. So this can definitely give you an idea of what guys are thinking and help you avoid some of those weird relationships. Especially the ones that leave you scarred. Sep 05, Mel rated it did not like it. I actually kinda like Steve Harvey. He's something of a cultural relic--like everybody's tone deaf, old-fashioned cookout uncle by proxy. That said, I don't know why so many people turn to him for relationship advice and help, and I was expecting this book to be full of obvious appeals to developing self-esteem and gross generalizations about how men and women think.

Jan 17, Shannon rated it really liked it. Quick read, some good tips that just make sense. After all, a relationship is just as much a business partnership as it is an emotional one. I especially appreciated the negotiating scenarios as some good examples of how to approach a subject. I actually used them the weekend I read the book and it worked! Oct 12, Noor Abu Hassan rated it really liked it. Recommended even for married couples. Oct 18, Nada AbuHassan rated it it was amazing.

Nov 10, Karen Peyton rated it it was amazing. That way we can avoid so many bad decisions. This should be a prerequisite to dating. What other book might you compare Straight Talk, No Chaser to and why? I have none in my library to compare it with. This is like a bible for dating men. How does this one compare? No this was my first. I wish his first book was "Every Women should read this at age 15" If you could sum up Straight Talk, No Chaser in three words, what would they be?

I wish his first book was here too. I would not hesitate in reading it cover to cover. The 90 day rule and why. Please bring his first book here to audibles - Think like a man, act like a Lady Qui si tratta di un uomo che ci parla dei suoi simili e ci spiega, come vedono loro il mondo e noi donne. Steve ci parla di se e dei suoi amici, ci spiega come gli uomini vedono il mondo e vedono coloro che dovranno affrontare nella vita, le donne. Jul 24, Aimee Warrington rated it it was ok. Harvey's first book was better. This one rehashes his previous stuff and splays it out in a more defensive manner as though he's saying "no, really, this book is that other book but BETTER".

It's not better though. Sep 09, Basma rated it liked it. This is a delicious fast read with an unmistakable sense of humour about how men think and react in various relationship-related situations, I've personally found it to be more fun, down to earth, and insightful than most of John Gray's books.

People used to be addicted to Pacman, Contra or Space Invaders. These were singleplayer games yet were very addictive for some. The addicts competed against their own high scores. With the advent of multiplayer gaming, players can now compete against players other than themselves, thus vastly increasing the challenge. Unlike the AI, players good players that is get better by practicing and learning from past experiences, thus providing more of a challenge. Also, the social aspect does not explain the increasing popularity of flash games, most of which are single player.

Even if you are not addicted to one particular flash game, playing through the numerous games that come out every week takes up a lot of time. Some people spend hundreds of hours trying to get a high score on a singleplayer flash game. This is clearly addiction, yet it has no social aspect. There are escapes that work for one group of people but not another. Playing guitar might allow you to get away whereas I can care less.

So really you can only list common ones as examples but it could be anything. As far as shifting the addiction, the addiction is not just the act of escapism. Video games provide escapism but it is their combined components that can lead down the path of addiction for some people. Working out, sports or social dynamics might allow for escapism but it is not often that they become compulsions leading to not socializing, not sleeping, poor diet or ignoring things that would make the rest of your life better. In addition most people have some idea if they are getting better at something even if growth slows to a crawl or effectively hits a ceiling.

Like the counterstrike example, I knew I was getting better for a long time based on the increasing situations that I could survive through or how many people I could mow down without dying. Honestly by the time I was no longer getting better the addiction hooks were in and all the other points in the article still applied. If you are getting better at performing a static task or able to accomplish an increasingly difficult task then that for all intents and purposes is measurable growth. It has to be challenging but doable.

If I am starting to workout for the first time ever, put lbs on the barbell and then try to bench press it, it will not be long before I give up on working out. Immensely difficult or seemingly impossible tasks are not ones that we continue to pursue unless it is absolutely necessary survival. The examples listed are beyond the scope of the vast majority of humanity. People want something that is hard but not too hard. Also how many funny or incredible stories start or end with the person telling the story not interacting with any other people around them? It does provide great advice towards using some of the similarities between gaming and new pursuits.

It is easier to create a new habit that pulls you in positive direction than it is to destroy an old negative one. Also breaking down the points separately like I am guilty of here myself weakens their synergistic effect. No activity that provides only one of the listed points would be as successful as any pursuit that that combined more of the points.

Which is also the reason that some chores do not become addictive. Also would have to thank you Cam as you are right that most video game addiction articles do not approach it in a real world manner. I have learned a lot using video games: I put the onus on myself to improve my situation. I am unattached to outcomes. I keep challenging myself to improve and get more efficient. I get really really good at the problem.

I get to amuse all my dedication, creativity, and perseverance. And then Cam made me ask myself: Find at least five classes that MAY interest me and sit in on a lecture to introduce myself to the class. I will cook it with reckless abandon. I also want to get more involved in this community, improve my writing, take social dance classes signed up during this post: Look how busy I am already! Definitely some intriguing conversation. My perspective is the one I currently believe to be closer to the goal of having a real framework to succeed in a specific goal — in this case, being able to quit playing video games for good.

Each comment is feedback that we can pool together and as a collective ideally get closer and closer towards being able to succeed. That is without question true. Something to understand about the post is that these points on their own will lack the ability to stand firm and be the singular cause of someones addiction to video games. You should not, and I do not recommend this in my article, simply shift from one temporary escape to another.

Something you are passionate about, and something that leads to you working on your purpose. The purpose of life is a life of purpose, after all. I completely agree that this is not the one and be-all post about video game addiction. If your goal is to quit video games, the chance you have of success is much greater by filling the time with an activity with similarities, albeit one that is productive and towards your purpose as I stated above.

It could be anything, but most people tend to engage in the common ones such as watching television, reading fiction and playing games. In my opinion these are all as bad as each other in terms of practical value generated. Any activity that provides escapism is usually addictive.

Watching television or reading fiction for example can be very addictive and destroys lives. For Measured Growth to be constant there must be an external as opposed to internal mechanism of checking progress. Also in Starcraft, the vast of majority of UMS players and I only play UMS have the same rating of , thus making it impossible to know who is a pro and who is a noob.

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Even in ladder games, players with low ratings very often beat players with high ratings. Your mental idea of your skill level is neither Constant nor is it Measurable. This does not invalidate my point. There is a wide range and available of problems to pick from, easily accessible from the internet. My point is why do people play video games instead of doing maths problems of equal difficulty?

Most people are not addicted to puzzle games and are instead addicted to FPS games which do not really provide much of an abstract challenge, only activation of the sympathetic nervous system. Telling stories is an inherently social activity — you are telling a story to amuse someone else. Playing Space Invaders or Pacman is definitely not — you are killing aliens and eating ghosts by yourself.

And the similarities may be so great that the new pursuits are not much more productive than gaming itself. Breaking down the points separately is how science works. RPG games lack both the social and the challenge aspects. In other words you are recommending breaking the addiction instead of simply shifting it. Whilst this is the ultimate solution, it seems to be beyond the ability of the majority of addicts. How many times have your parents told you to stop playing games and do something productive with your time?

How many times have you actually listened? I suspect not many. The same is true with the vast majority of addicts. When you quit an addiction for even a few days, you experience withdrawal symptoms that make you think twice about quitting that addiction. Eventually the temptation is too great and you relapse.

As I have already said, these 4 components are not present in all video game addictions, the only factor in common with all video game addictions is escapism. Video games are a catch all term for a delivery method in the same way that a bottle can carry beer, water or soda. The things that make them addictive are not going to be the same from genre to genre. They all would have different aspects that would make them addictive to different types of people.

Likewise your favorite genres could be completely different. It seems that certain genres lead to addiction more than others, which probably has to do with certain traits that are hardwired into most people to some degree or another. Two reasons that I can think of that video games are addictive other than what is listed in the article are probably not what you want to bring to future endeavors:.

Delivery Method- Internet use by itself is found to be habit forming for a lot of people. Video games use the same method but amplified. Rewards for actions tend to be immediate, extravagant and frequent. As your brain grows accustomed to this type of feedback other real world feedback can feel slow and numb. Gambling Mechanisms- Grinding out your WOW character long after the rational side of your brain would love to do something else? But instead of once every couple of minutes it then hammers your brain with it a couple dozen times a minute.

Even friendly competition adds the amount of focus that someone brings to an activity. You could break down each genre separately and based on personality type. Lets say WOW for example. Someone lonely might grow addicted to the escapism and the social aspects of the game. Someone predisposed towards gambling addiction or maybe likes the feeling of succeeding would fall into the measurable growth and item grinding aspects of the game.

A FPS is escapism, challenging competitive ,social with some measurable growth which delivers feedback at a quick and consistent pace. It might depend on what the persons personality is combined with a certain type of game. Think of it this way. You ask me why I like my girlfriend. I broke down why I like my girlfriend into four variables. Much like which game mechanics encourage addictive behavior varies from game to game, there are probably different life circumstances as well as genetics that make someone more susceptible to addiction.

Which is why I would think there are two sides to quitting an addiction. One is the withdrawl symptoms that can persist for awhile after. Thats why people say you need to actually be ready to quit. You need to be vigiliant on keeping away from games and be willing to push through the uncomfortable feelings. It will subside but it can take time for some people.

The additional things to deal with would often be loneliness ,depression, bordom or whatever it is you need escapism and gaming for in the first place. You cannot back away from the addiction without replacing it with something. If video games were what you did with most of your free time then you better have something in mind to replace it.

You can only stand to be bored or lonely out of your mind for so long until you will boot up your favorite games again. One other thing I speculate about is that the more interests you have the less susceptible you would be to a mental addiction. If I play in a band, work out and occasionally surf, I would be less likely to have video games ever be more than a distraction in my spare time.

As started, I vowed to myself that I would stop gaming once and for all. For a while now I have been gaming and have only just recently admitted that I am addicted. This article especially how you were in my position has given me the strength that I need to really quit.

You have changed my life, thankyou. Happy New Year to you as well. Keep me posted on your progress. I have made the decision to quit games forever so I will never be a game addict again. Or an addict to anything that I can identify. I now fill my time with everything I had put off — exercise, reading, writing, socializing etc.

The most important thing is that you quit the addiction. New hobbies will automatically fill the void. You actually need to be continuously denying the urge to play. It is at first hard and it will be painful — accept it. So heres the thing man, I just quit gaming for the year of Just to see what happens. And with my spare tie I decided to do a little research on others who have quit gaming and came across this page. And wow, so if I quit gaming I could become a whoremongering, over-ego, disc jockey who proclaims his righteousness in the fact that he quit looking at something that intruiged him.

I was rooting for you at the beginning of this article, but holy shit man. All the pictures of hot chicks playing games I thought you were building up to a point, but it turns out your just another dude chaising tail, and games were getting in the way of another addiction. Think about that shit. Woman want to please, and they will do so to theyre own ends. You take advantage of that, and honestly the world was probably alot better when you were harmlessly gaming day in and out. You aint nothing more than a crack addict whose found the light in meth.

Massive thanks to you CAM, made an actual difference. I actually appreciated the questions because if anything they further refined what I think about gaming addiction. It is ridiculously hard at first. At least it was for me. When I tried quitting for the first time I actually can remember where everything else I tried doing just felt boring and lifeless. You picked up good hobbies but it is just as easy for people to fill their time with tv watching ,more mindless web surfing or maybe just wasting more time with friends.

Actually you said something similar yourself. Awesome that you quit either way. Visitor- I agree with what you say. Although the 4 areas are important to fill, you still need to make sure you make the decision to quit the addiction too, and continue to deny that urge. Conscious effort is the only way. Rob- I appreciate you coming by and commenting. Either way, I wish you the best of luck quitting video games. Seb- Happy to hear the post helped you out. Stoked to hear about another DJ! What kind of music are you spinning?

I post my mixes up on soundcloud, and would be happy to connect with you and listen to your stuff. Dunno what to say- I really appreciate you taking the time to help reply and contribute more to the conversation. Your insight is valuable to me. I was playing hardcore the same as you, but after reading this article i decided that i need to do something with my life, and to really start having a life, instead of just letting it pass by me when i sit every day and night playing video games. I started exercising, and i have more time to study and develop a career, so thanks for the eyeopening article.

Thanks for popping in and leaving your comment. I appreciate you taking the time. Exercising is a great start. It almost scares me how alike me and you are. I progressed through my gaming career the exact same way as you did. I started with 1. I managed to quit for a year when starting up a new career, but unfortunately this career is seasonal, and sometimes the work runs out over winter.

I do however have a few more issues that I would love to get some feedback on. In my younger years, I used to play soccer. Not just play it, but compete at a national level, and play in the top division and premier league here in Saskatchewan. That was until a minor knee injury that should have only put me out for a few months. Unfortunately I discovered smoking and Counter-strike in those few months. I hope to get back to that level of play, although I know this will take a couple years.

Another major issue with that plan is being in Saskatchewan. My third issue, is my current girlfriend is everything that a gamer wants, not someone who plans to have a life. Victoria would actually be my first choice, due to year round events and plenty of people to mingle with. But then there is the girlfriend. Hello and I need some advice. Im a girl, 13 years old. I spend alot, alot of time playing video games. And its for a long time. I just play play and play. And those games are usually non-multiplayer games, because when I play multiplayer games, they quickly get boring, then I jump to single-player.

After few days I decided to cold turkey, and look for some advice in internet. I stumbled upon your article, and it helped a bit. Is it possible to reach out to others to see if there are like minded people that have an interest in drifting around you? At the very least you can find others that are looking to work on cars or possibly travel to events with? Is it at all possible to convince any of the local tracks to allow drifting if there was enough of an interest?

Is it possible to become the catalyst for such a community? Regarding your concerns about your girlfriend, I can think of two angles to this. Apologies if these are harsh in anyway. First is to imagine the kind of life you want and then to ask yourself how much personal sacrifice is your girlfriend worth to you? Is she special to the point you are willing not to push forward with the things you listed if it meant losing her? Secondly and regardless of your answer to the first question, realize that you never know how things will unfold.

She might be motivated by watching your success and realize that she wants her life to have less internet and more of other pursuits. The two of you move forward branching into new directions and have an amazing life together that makes all the people around you envious. Or maybe she will grow to resent your renewed interests and your relationship will crash and burn.

Jordan- Thanks for popping by and commenting. Reader Dunno what to say I wish I had a name for him- haha nailed everything on the head well already. So the big question you need to ask yourself is: If not, then you need to make decisions — whatever they may be — to make sure you are, in fact, happy. That always has to come 1. So maybe you just start focusing on you more and focus on growth instead for now, and that inspires your girlfriend to follow suit.

If she does, perfect. Camila- Thanks for stopping in and commenting. You are an inspiration to me. What I would suggest is similar to what Sage said: Now, what other activities do you enjoy? Do you enjoy drawing? Are you interested in music? These are productive activities that you could spend time on that could make you happy. You need to focus on finding something you are passionate about.

I would suggest trying many new things. Find a few that you enjoy and focus on those. As for studying, the motivation to study needs to come from a desire to learn. If you focus on your interest in learning and growing, studying becomes much much easier. Learning is FUN because learning expands your mind and makes your life better.

Develop a love for learning and school will be much more fun. Hope that helps you all. Definitely keep me updated.

1. How to Quit Playing Video Games FOREVER!
2. Straight Talk, No Chaser: How to Find, Keep, and Understand a Man by Steve Harvey.
3. Fat History: Bodies and Beauty in the Modern West?
4. So now you’re thinking:;
5. Classic children's library: | Books | The Guardian;

You can send me an e-mail if you want: As for finding like-minded car enthusiasts here, I already know of some, and I plan to make an attempt to become better friends with them. The one small town place that we had an event at before was actually a go kart track Although big enough for 4-door sedans to slide sideways through , and was a really great turn out and event. Unfortunately, one of the drifters was dating the owners daughter, and things went sour.

Now the owner hates everyone and everything that has to do with drifting. Saskatchewan has no hope of future events aside from circle tracks on the occasional unbooked time slot at a major venue. As for the girlfriend, I came to the same conclusion as you two.

I need to change, I already know this, and I will do it regardless of what may happen. I will wait and see, and lightly push her in a similar direction if she seems to like the idea of it. Hey CAM, thank you very much for this article. You really found the main reasons why playing that stupid shit. Now, that I know what it is happening, I would give a try once more I hope I can stop playing once and for all. Jordan- Sounds wicked man. Jambo- You can do it man. You just have to commit once and for all and it will be a piece of cake. Great article, and I found my self completely agreeing.

I guess i am compltetely addicted to the game. Reading about, watching, discussing games, and of course playing. Over the last year though I began playing more and watching less, but still it was never really enough to give me the edge to get better relatively. And I often need to take like a 30 min break after a win.

So in the end I never really got that good at the game, just kinda good, which lead me absolutely nowhere. So what if i became a top european player isntead of a top 1. What would that change. How would that improve my life in any way? Meanwhile my life outside gaming is kinda a mess. Im currently studying finance and accounting, and to some extent these subjects are really interesting and I definitely want to work with stock andm arket analysis.

Problem is that I dont have any job experience, as I have been playing games. And now I dont really know what to do, because in these times its kinda hard to get a relevant part time job that is relevant for your studies. SO while i need job experience, its hard to get job experience so I am already so far behind. But anyway I decided from today that I will stop playing and I will stop watching starcraft 2. If my grades get better I proably have a better shot at getitng a job.

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Maybe i should try to find a voluntary job. What I would suggest is to try and avoid feeling guilty about the past year and a half. The past year and a half is out of your control, but thankfully how you move forward IS within your control. So move forward appropriately. That balance is essential. So instead of playing games to let loose, how are you going to do it? Anyways, thanks for commenting and I hope you send me an update.

As always you can reach me personally via e-mail any time: I was nearly finished writing my huge minute-long response to this Article when I get called out to help my Mum move some shit. When I get back 15 minutes later, I see Dad has turned off the damn computer, and all my type has gone. I still love you Dad! What was in it was like my lifestory in the gaming world, starting from Runescape when I was 9 to Heroes of Newerth on the 31st of December.

Also in it was my expressions of gratitude to you, Cam, for writing this incredible passage. It has enlightened me. My name is Shaq, and I am 17 years old. I had been planning on quitting on the 1st of Jan for about months. I had been searching for advice all throughout that period of time, to see if I could help my passing easier. I wish I stumbled upon this sooner.

Cam, I need some advice. Just last night I had a whole lot of mates round. That afternoon we played MW3 on a mates PS3 for about 30 minutes. Afterwards I felt incredibly guilty.

Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll, illustrated by Helen Oxenbury (Walker, £14.99)

I felt like you would feel after eating chocolate when on a diet. Only been two weeks -. Does console games count towards my computer game addiction? Harish- I better see that update you promised me! Remember, the only factor that determines whether or not you are successful in quitting video games is YOU. Shaq- Sucks to hear you lost the 40 minute response but the key is that you wrote it, and thus, whatever you were saying is engrained into your mind even better increasing the chance you will be successful!

You could suggest you and your friends go to a park and play basketball, or frisbee. Even just socializing, and talking about deeper topics can be good. What do you think? Stoked to hear you are getting back into body building. That will be a great use of your time and you will feel better because of it. It is what it is. You can only move forward properly. Not that I do that stuff haha. Also, what about iOS device games? This was a shitload and I have been instructed to try and help him out from his Mum.

Could I direct him here maybe? Speaking of Socializing, any tips you could give me? What do you reakon? Those games in my mind serve no real productive purpose on my phone. The way I view it is like this: I have a hard enough time finding time to sit down and read books that I know are super important for me to read, so any time spent playing useless games on my iPhone could be spent reading an important book.

What else are you passionate about? What are you working towards? Do you have a purpose right now? On a rainy day I might spend that time inside reading, DJing, working on the business, etc. With your buddy you could direct him here and say that this was something that helped you out. Make sure you stay somewhat chill and easy going about everything. Nobody ever taught you social skills. This is crazy and absurd.

If the world is a social place, which it is undeniably, it would be kind of important to understand and develop your social skills. There are few things more important truthfully. When do you start school? I agree with your friend. Be open and friendly. From here you just need to keep having conversations with people and maintain and continue to build the connections. We have a game called Oblivion, and I played on that for about 30 minutes by myself yesterday.

Not good, I know. They thought it was weird as, even though I thought it might help me in those respective areas, you know? They still bring it up every now and then. Your talking to a person you have only just met. The other person on the other hand, is feeling upbeat and knows how to converse. He tells a funny joke, and you try to think of a witty reply, but you cant.

It takes you around 2 seconds to say something, but by then the raport had gone, and it just gets awkward. Is raport the right word? It has happened because of how when your typing in the gaming world, it takes you around 3 seconds to reply. Anyways, I am realising that I used to do this, due to the overwhelming time I spent on computers. Cam, did this ever happen to you? I start School in 5 days. Thought this was a great read. I myself have been stuck in the ebb and flow of abstinence and complete indulgence in video games.

Best wishes to all who are battling against this nebulous, deceptively powerful addiction. I would instead, use it as a way to practice discipline. Just make sure you keep usage down and remember, any time you spend playing those games could be spent on other things… so the question is, what other productive things could you focus on instead? Working on your social skills makes sense to YOU, and you are going to see results because of it. Your life is going to only get better. Focus on what you can focus on, which is yourself, and view it as you leading by example.

As your life gets better and you improve, your friends will begin to take notice. I definitely agree with the delay. Your perspective should be that your social skills are a bit rusty and you just need to spend more time practicing them, and that delay will go away just like you noticed. You are going to do great and enjoy the newfound energy you have for learning. Ryan- Thanks for the comment. Although it will be tough to move on from your current friends, you will also be meeting a lot of new people and developing friendships with many others.

Everyone likes being good at something, which can be addicting itself. And competitive games ARE challenging as you say, it takes many hours to become good and even more to become the best. I dont like playing games at a casual level. Its like an urge to become the best, and without being the best i dont feel. Well what can i say, complete mabye. This has affected my attendance to my school and the though if i even want to graduate. Not caring that much.

I used to be a good football player some years back but i started to get unlucky with injuries and got another sickness aswell, which lead to more video games because i quit football and my job. At first i though this was a good solution because, well i felt like it helped me staying healthy.



I would give the world to go back some years and continue my football carrier. I guess its a lot easier going back into video games than it is to go back into sports. Its hard finding something else to spend time on when all you really want to do it keep on playing video games. This article was just breathtaking, thank you so much Cam.

Well that seems about right. Sorry for the longevity but this article really gave me the urge to write something back. Something important to remember is that you cannot regret your time playing video games. You must instead simply understand that back then you made certain life choices and now you are making different ones. What about iPhone and android games, does this count? I read this and realized that I am actually addicted. I didnt know that I was. I play roughly 2hrs a day.

Thanks for leaving your comment. I definitely think iPhone and Android games can become addictive too. Playing 5 minutes here 5 minutes there easily turns into an hour here and hour there. It piles up over time for sure. Everything in moderation is fine. I have been struggling quitting games for a while now. This year I told myself that I would change. Then it turns into an hour then an hour the afternoon and so one. If you find one of the times you resort to playing video games is when you are bored… what are some activities you could do instead during that time?

Figure out those answers and quitting and staying video-game free will be a breeze. Hey JER, your not the only one. I felt exactly the same as you do after playing games. Now I find myself spending hours on the Laptop after school talking to everyone, asking questions, getting advice etc. I know I need to prioritize. Gaming had a snowball effect on me. Congrats on your first month video game FREE! With friends is fine, just remember not to use that as justification to play. If you end up playing 4 hours a month with friends that is FINE.

Could you setup a limit for yourself that you will do X amount of hours of homework before getting on Facebook to talk to your friends? My rule is that by 11pm ideally I get INTO bed, with a fallback of midnight if for some reason I end up getting super busy or whatever. You just need to be more disciplined and structure your day a bit better. That way Facebook is more of a reward and not something hurting you. BEst of both worlds. Great article, I have decided to stop playing video games too, it was eating my time, which I could have spent with my fiancee.

The one thing I liked most out of video games is the thrill of taking quick decisions and the maths behind it, as well as how they make me use my brain to the point it could explode. That was a sensation I loved. I suffer from a pretty bad ADD and the only times I can concentrate is when information keeps flowing and I have to organize it. You have no idea of how joyful I was when I first was able to concentrate on one SC2 game for a whole 20 minutes.

I just recognised some of the symptoms I had when I played games. Hey JeanSeb, Thank you very much for stopping by and leaving your comment. I definitely agree that video games can be a great way to activate your brain. What time do you typically go to bed? Do you enjoy reading?



• See a Problem?.
• How to Quit Playing Video Games FOREVER;
• Les racines communicationnelles du Web et des médias sociaux, 2e édition (French Edition).
• Why should you listen to me?.

That might be a great way to help yourself fall asleep while staying quiet and still activating your brain because reading is a very good activity for that! Shaq — I definitely try to keep my bed for sleeping only. Would love to hear from your sister. When i was about 10 i thought i had a bad life, poor family and that nobody liked me, i had only a few good friends, i started playing computer games in times when none of my friends wanted to hang out. That became into a habbit, when i got older, 12 or 13, i discovered im gay, i felt i wanted to kill myself because i live in a homophobic society, i just thought: These days i decided to change my life, putting my suicide thoughts into a fucking what the hell was i thinking jar and moving on with my life.

When i was young, i drew a lot, i was almost the best in my class without even trying, i think could be a really good artist, writer or something else that includes creativity.

Also when i was young i always wanted to help other people, never to lie, never do bad things to others, i wanted to make this world a better place, but now i realised the society is fucked up, now even more than before, i would be respected more if i bullied people, spoke like a drug dealer and had bitches and drunkers instead of real friends.

My only problem now is what can i do? I know if i dont choose one thing now that im gonna pay badly. My questions to you are:. I really have no idea. Pretty much whenever i say: Thanks a lot for dropping by and sharing your story. I know it takes courage to share personal details about your life. First and foremost, you are definitely NOT a fucked up case. Your case is what it is and that is fine. Understand that before you are able to grow, you must ACCEPT where you are at and decide to move forward from that point and only that point. You are 17 which also means it is definitely not too late to be good at something.

Regardless of age, the only difference between someone becoming good at something and not is them making the decision to pursue it. Once you decide to pursue it, you will begin to find solutions to your problems. The answers are in your comment. Focus more on drawing and writing instead of playing video games. Set some goals and challenge yourself. Instead of playing video games before school, spend that time making a good breakfast this would be an opportunity to develop your skill set of cooking , and then instead of playing video games, draw or write instead.

Maybe what you can do is wake up, eat a good breakfast, and then write in your journal for X amount of time. Then go to school and come home around 6. Spend time drawing and then spend time in photoshop. Now, doing this every day and every night might end up being a bit boring over time. So how can you fix this? Add a goal to develop your social circle. How is your group of friends? Could you spend time meeting more people? Maybe you could volunteer since you mentioned you want to make the world a better place. Volunteering is a great way to tap into that vision.

Feel free to e-mail me and keep me posted. Proud of you for sharing, hope you keep me posted on your progress. TO even begin with my life story, I have to start wayyyyyy back when i was about years old.. Then something weird had happened.. I came back home during weekends to just Surround myself in my old aura of the old days playing video games, etc..

But then I made a decision which had turned my life upside down in a way.. I decided to stay home the following semeter instead of continuing my education.. So that semester flew by still taking online courses , then the last semester did aswelll…and then i decided to go back to this game but a private server so i wouldnt be too addicted.

Buy for others

SO then, I was playing that nonstop, exercising, and smoking madddddddd weeed with my bro who was also commuting. LOL, as stupid as it may sound.. Then relationships slowly deterred and not much time was spent on my family members either.. Im 19 now, and its fucked up that my sister is already turning 27 and i dont even know a single thing about her?

So now im picking my confidence back up.. SO i cold turkeyed that, and just today, im gonna cold turkey these stupid games. Going through facebook and seeing everyone progressing just really turns me off. Im actually on vacation as we speak in INDIA, and hell, i just started playing this stupid game just to fly away 2 hours here and there while i wait for my mom to get lunch ready, etc..

So i could kinda see how it was taking control over me in a way…or at least my mind. I went back on my runescape acocunt to check how long i had been playing, and it read: I overthink situations, and tend to weigh my options on whether to meet someone or save myself the stress and just relax at home at times. Thanks for dropping by and commenting. Where abouts in Canada are you from? How long are you there for? It seems like you have some good goals, so what are the steps in between that you need to accomplish in order to get there?

Have you looked up the requirements to become a COP? You can definitely do it. Success comes down to creativity and persistence. If you are persistent in being creative you can find a solution to any problem. I really believe that. I myself have cycles of being addicted to video game, when im off them i stay fit and healthy, i read a lot more, i practice musical instruments, I am more social, I am more motivated, basically i am levelling up in life.

I mean instead of doing unproductive things like playing games i could be doing so much more productive things that get me places and increase my skills in a broad range. Motivation is key its just hanging on to it that seems to be the problem for me. I think the only way is to eliminate video games completely from my life even though i have good friends far away who i play with i will have to sacrifice that aspect to i guess.

I have been thinking about doing this for a long time so before i do it should i have one last haul at it you know play for like 10 hours and then sell it all on ebay? I really appreciate you taking the time to let me know what you think about the post. This is actually a phrase we use a lot every day here. If you want to do one last haul that is fine. Motivation is something I struggled with for a long time, and then I had a breakthrough. A simple quote caused it:.

Work on your motivation every day in all the small different ways and that will be the difference between it lasting or it fading away once again. The typical situation that happens with video games is that you enjoy it so much that it takes over your whole entire life. Also, as outlined in the article, there are a few reasons WHY you enjoy playing games. Everything in life is good in moderation.

I have a problem with this statement: I totally disagree with this statement, all games that have had any impact on my life and any games that I can say I truly love have one thing in common: I hate social interactions in video games and I hate competitive gaming, its very shallow. There are some fun ones out there, but when I play them I treat them as single-player with sometimes smarter enemies.

In general, I hate the social aspect of them other than trying to make people who take them too seriously mad by camping, cheesing, breaking unspoken rules, team killing, etc. What an interesting and valuable tale! Why do people get so worked up about other people wanting to stay home instead of going out and clubbing or some shit? When i was really young i used to watch my brother play them and always thought they were cool, then i eventually started. This is how i believe that i formed my addiction to video games.

My friends are all into video games just like me. That seems like its our main interest that keeps us together. So about a month ago i quit World of Warcraft and my friends seemed really proud of me. After i quit it seemed like there was less and less to talk about to my friends. Whenever i get home i always run straight to my computer and jump right on and play right away, and i keep coming back day after day. Every year my grades go down farther and farther. I really want to just flat out quit video games but i have a really hard time getting around to try new things to see what i like.

I would have done sports but i used video games as an excuse to skip out this year. Do you have any advice on what to do in my situation? Dude, no fucking way, I play Sc2, play cs 1. I agree with your theory that these games are multiplayer to cover social aspects. Many of the most popular games out there right now are incredibly social and addicting because of it.

The point is a valid one. Vidya, The article is for people that want to stop. Social-life, Thanks for commenting. I appreciate your input. One example of this is the relationship you have with yourself. You talk to yourself all day. You are talking to yourself. Do most people that play video games get that internal value from them? Most play because of the reasons listed above, and, amazingly, when their life changes a bit, video games are usually the first to go.

I also think, and this is speaking from my OWN experience here, that when I was playing video games a lot I was also depressed, but masked it with the enjoyment of video games. Just something to keep in mind. Mike, Thanks for dropping by and commenting. What are the things that you enjoy? You mentioned you knew a few. One solution to implement right away is to study when you get home instead of playing. Set a time limit.