Way Of The Asshole

And then people high in neuroticism got really anxious and fussed about what to wear. The point is, these five traits have since become known as the Big Five Personality Traits, and they are one of the most established and scientifically-driven measurements in the field of psychology. The Big Five are relatively stable over time.

They partially determine who you are, the choices you make, and how well you do in life.

Sometimes – unfortunately – being an asshole is the way to get ahead

On average, extraverts experience more positive emotions, have wider social networks, and, likely as a result, make more money. People who are conscientious are healthier and live longer, probably because they wash their hands after they piss. People with high levels of neuroticism struggle emotionally and are more likely to lose jobs, get divorced, and become depressed.

People who are more open to experience tend to be creative, risk-taking, and political liberals.

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People who are low in openness to experience tend to be politically conservative and bad at hosting orgies. But out of all of the Big Five Personality Traits, one of the five stands above them all in determining professional success: Or rather, a lack of agreeableness. In fact, I believe the world needs its fair share of assholes. And that being an asshole is a valuable life skill. That is, one side is totally willing to be disliked and the other is not.

Run this situation millions of times over the course of multiple decades and you end up in a situation where assholes run the world. The deal still gets done, but that deal will be sub-optimal because neither side pushed to the full extent of their capabilities. Therefore, a lot of value will be lost in the process. The third situation is when two assholes come to a business negotiation. Both sides are totally willing to be disliked. And not only will they push for everything they need for the deal to be advantageous for them, but they will push even further.

5 Ways to Avoid Acting Like an Asshole While Dining Out

They will consciously antagonize the other side because they understand that antagonism wears people down and makes them capitulate more easily. Strangely, this really, really unpleasant circumstance is the one that will produce the most optimal result. Both sides will likely push the deal so far that no one ends up happy with it. Both sides will feel like they lost but the resulting agreement will likely produce better results for both sides because they left no stone unturned in pursuing what is best for themselves.

So, yes, assholes run the world. And ever tried to break up with someone while not hurting their feelings?

5 Ways to Avoid Acting Like an Asshole While Dining Out :: Food :: Lists :: Paste

So most non-assholes just end up staying in bad relationships for way longer than they should. This is an uncelebrated skill. That is, assuming the asshole has a code of ethics. They lie, cheat, or steal to get their way. Yes, these people are assholes. But they are also unethical. Yes, there is such thing as an ethical asshole.

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And, I would argue, ethical assholes are national treasures. Some people are just naturally very disagreeable. But for those who are agreeable, learning to be an asshole is a skill that must be practiced. The same way an introvert must practice using extraverted skills when necessary, the agreeable person must learn to be disagreeable when necessary, lest they get walked over. What about to save your career? What about to promote a good cause you care about? Unethical assholes are assholes because they care about themselves more than others. They are narcissistic and see the world only in terms of what benefits themselves.

They are unethical because their cause is bad. Their sympathy for others is a tool that holds them back. I just got off the phone with a friend last night. I chewed him out for doing something pretty stupid that involved me. I feel awful that he feels awful.

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So I can bear it. But for me to be able to make him feel awful, I first need to be capable of feeling awful myself. Create a new rule for yourself: In fact, chances are, in the long run, other people will be glad you said it. And it will come more naturally. My god, that really needed to be said. In an ideal world, people would treat others with respect, patience, and kindness. Marcus Aurelius, Roman Emperor from til , and once the most powerful man on earth, said it best:.

But in real nkfe, things are a bit different. Workplace jerks are a serious problem. They trigger anxiety, depression, sleep problems, high blood pressure, and poor relationships with their families and partners. And I must be honest. There were days I hated going into the office. So after successfully dealing with assholes I used tip number two below , and interviewing Robert Sutton , I want to share three practical tips with you that can prevent a lot of stress. Is someone having a bad day? All those things play a role in our mood.

Letting a bad episode slide is okay. Just by understanding basic human psychology will make you a relaxed human being. Too often, we take things too personal and are quick to judge. If you have a conflict at work with a coworker, you could try to resolve that situation. Remember, we can only change so much. If you work in an environment where office politics and backstabbing is the norm, it is unlikely you can change the culture unless you are a senior manager or the CEO.

But stay practical, believe in yourself, and create a plan. Knowing when to quit is not that complicated. Look at your situation and make a decision. So I got out.

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Assholes at work are often very good at office politics. So no matter what you do, never try to beat an asshole at their own game. They will always win. Doing battle with assholes is risky business. If you decide to fight back, think about your strategy.