Funny You Should Think About a Return to Judaism/A Journey From Comedy Stages to the Wisdom of Sages

Shulchan Aruch Reading - Kriah Chassidus. Miscellaneous- Pesach Afikoman Bag Haggada. Seder Plates Matzah Matzah Cover. Email to a Friend. A ship that is changing course will inevitably move forward to another destination. And that course might, indeed, lead that vessel to more inviting and fulfilling waters than at first imagined. He has written a book about his transformation from total devotion to a show business lifestyle, to how he had the chance to realize a deeper, more personal awareness: The spiritual and practical level he had the opportunity to go searching for turned out to be the funny, inspiring and very personal story of his travels, his encounters, and the great clarity that he found.

Richard's story is told here. But everyone who is Jewish can apply it to his or her own journey; their own circumstances; their own dreams. Everybody has a story. With Richard's book, non-Jews can also certainly be inspired by this story of Jewish return, to look at their own respective religions in a new, practical, and yes, funny way. As with most ethnicities, jokes have often mocked Jewish accents —at times gently, and at others quite harshly. One of the kinder examples is:.

One early winter morning, Rabbi Bloom was walking beside the canal when he saw a dog in the water, trying hard to stay afloat. It looked so sad and exhausted that Rabbi Bloom jumped in, and after a struggle, managed to bring it out alive. A passer-by who saw this remarked, "That was very brave of you! You must love animals; are you a vet?

Of course I'm a—vet! I'm a—freezing cold as vell! Jewish humor continues to exploit stereotypes of Jews, both as a sort of "in-joke", and as a form of self-defence. Jewish mothers , "cheapness", hypochondria, and other stereotyped habits are all common subjects. Frugality has been frequently singled out:. It costs at least a dollar! What did the waiter ask the group of dining Jewish mothers? Any money that falls outside the circle is for the Lord, and the money that falls inside the circle is for me. I take the offering, throw it up into the air, and pray: A Buddhist monk goes to a barber to have his head shaved.

And what do you know, the next day the barber comes to open his shop, and finds on his doorstep a dozen gemstones. That day, a priest comes in to have his hair cut. That day, Rabbi Finklestein comes in to get his payoss [sideburns] trimmed. A Jewish man lies on his deathbed, surrounded by his children.

She says it's for the shiva. Frowning, the mother says, "Go back and tell them you want a speaking role! A Jewish girl bemoans, "Finally, I meet a nice, rich Jewish boy! He's just like papa. He looks like him. He acts like him. Oy vey, mama hates him! After performing a marriage the Rabbi gave some advice to the newlyweds: Or, on parenting from David Bader 's Haikus for Jews:.

A Frenchman, a German and a Jew walk into a bar. Or, on kvetching ,. A Jewish man in a hospital tells the doctor he wants to be transferred to a different hospital. The doctor says "What's wrong? Is it the food?

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An old Jewish man riding on a train begins to moan: Finally, another passenger gets a cup of water from the drinking fountain and gives it to the old man, who thanks him profusely and gulps it down. Feeling satisfied, the other passenger sits down again, only to hear "Oy, was I thirsty; oy, was I thirsty".

A version of that joke is quoted in Born To Kvetch: Many Jewish jokes involve a rabbi and a Christian clergyman, exploiting different interpretations of a shared environment. Often they start with something like "A rabbi and a priest A rabbi and a Catholic priest are having lunch in a restaurant. The priest attacks his lunch, savoring every bite of the ham. Noticing the rabbi eyeing him, he asks, "So tell me, Rabbi Goldblum, have you ever had any pork before?

We're both men of God here. We can tell each other our sins.

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The rabbi asks the priest: A Catholic priest says to a rabbi, "It seems to me that, since the Creator made pork, He must have made it for some purpose. Therefore, it must be a sin not to use it, don't you think? So, will you finally eat some pork? A rabbi once asked his old friend, a priest, "Could you ever be promoted within your Church?

The priest says, thoughtfully, "Well, I could become a bishop. A rabbi is on his deathbed, and a friend asks him if he has any last requests. The Rabbi asks his friend to find him a Catholic priest, so that he might convert. Confused, his friend asks, "Rabbi, why? You have been a great teacher and leader of your followers, and you have led a good and honorable Jewish life. Why would you want to become a Catholic now, before you die?

Turning to the priest, the lead police officer said, "Father Murphy, were you gambling? But the dream, and the noise, was so terrific that I woke up. The rabbi said, "Really? Last night, I dreamed of the Protestant Heaven. It was a nice, proper suburb, with neatly trimmed lawns, and houses all neatly lined up. A Catholic priest is called away by a family emergency one day, while on duty attending confession.

Not wanting to leave the confessional unattended, he asks his friend, a rabbi from the synagogue across the street, if he can fill in for him. The rabbi says he wouldn't know what to do, so the priest agrees to stay with him for a few minutes and show him the ropes. They enter their half of the confessional together and soon enough, a woman enters and says, "Father forgive me, for I have sinned. The woman leaves and not long after a man enters and says, "Father forgive me, for I have sinned.

The rabbi tells the priest he thinks he's got it figured out now, so the priest leaves, and the rabbi waits until another woman enters the confessional, who says, "Father forgive me, for I have sinned. The Jews did not want to leave, and so the Pope challenged them to a disputation to prove that they could remain. No one, however, wanted the responsibility As there was nobody else who wanted to go, Moishe was given the task.

But because he knew only Hebrew, a silent debate was agreed. The day of the debate came, and they went to St. Peter's Square to sort out the decision. First the Pope waved his hand around his head. Moishe pointed firmly at the ground. The Pope, in some surprise, held up three fingers. In response, Moishe gave him the middle finger.

The crowd started to complain, but the Pope thoughtfully waved them to be quiet. He took out a bottle of wine and a wafer, holding them up. Moishe took out an apple, and held it up. This man is too good. The Jews can stay. He explained, "First, I showed him the Heavens, to show that God is everywhere. He pointed at the ground to signify that God is right here with us. I showed him three fingers, for the Trinity.

He reminded me that there is One God common to both our religions. I showed him wine and a wafer, for God's forgiveness. With an apple, he showed me original sin. The man was a master of silent debate. First, he told me that this whole town would be free of Jews. I told him, Go to Hell! Then, he told me we had three days to get out. I told him just what I thought of that proposal. What was it like? However, current events, situations, traditions, and cultural factors which are unique to the country make it hard to understand the joke for someone who is not aware of the events being referred to.

In the Stalinist police state , it was not uncommon to get purged not only for telling a casual joke, but even for not reporting it to the authorities. Rabinovich, what is a fortune? A fortune is to live in our Socialist motherland. And what's a misfortune? A misfortune is to have such a fortune. An old Armenian is on his deathbed: Where were you born?! Where do you live?!

Comrade Lev, why now, just when things are getting better for your people, are you applying for an exit visa to make aliyah to Israel? Well, comrade, there are two reasons. One is that my next-door neighbor is Pamyat and he tells me that after they get rid of you communists, they are coming next after the Jews. But they will never get rid of us communists! I know, I know, of course you are right! And that's the other reason. An old Jewish man was finally allowed to leave the Soviet Union, to emigrate to Israel. When he was searched at the Moscow airport, the customs official found a bust of Lenin.

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Don't say " What is that? The genius who thought up this worker's paradise! The official laughed and let the old man through. The old man arrived at Tel Aviv airport, where an Israeli customs official found the bust of Lenin.

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I will put him on display in my toilet for all the years he prevented an old man from coming home. The official laughed and let him through. When he arrived at his family's house in Jerusalem, his grandson saw him unpack the bust. Don't say " Who is that? Israeli humor featured many of the same themes as Jewish humor elsewhere, making fun of the country and its habits, while containing a fair bit of gallows humor as well, as a joke from a Israeli joke book indicates:.

An elderly man refuses to leave for the air raid shelter until he can find his dentures. His wife yells at him, "What, you think they are dropping sandwiches? A reporter comes by and asks, "Excuse me, but can I get your opinion on the recent grain shortage in the third world? A Rabbi dies and goes up to the gates of heaven. Before he's let in, the angel in charge has to consult with God for a long period of time if he deserves a place in heaven. As the Rabbi is waiting, an Israeli bus driver approaches the gates of heaven. Without a second thought, the angel who was consulting with God let the bus driver through.

The Rabbi points at the bus driver and yells, "Hey! How come he gets in so quickly? He's a simple bus driver, while I'm a Rabbi! When you would be giving your sermon during the prayer services, your whole congregation would fall asleep. When this bus driver drove towards Tel Aviv , all his passengers would be at the edge of their seats praying to God! From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.

Haskalah List of Jewish philosophers. This section needs additional citations for verification. Please help improve this article by adding citations to reliable sources. Unsourced material may be challenged and removed. February Learn how and when to remove this template message. Jewish Humor and the Desecration of Christendom". Comedian Mark Schiff, reviewing the same book on Jewlarious. Media Archived at the Wayback Machine.: Retrieved January 25, Encyclopedia of Humor Studies. Sources of Jewish Humor , NJ: