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Ask Avery Anything: A Womans Journey through Midlife Dating

At the very last moment, she looks into the camera, and just talking about it now brings tears to my eyes. It was so emotional. It was so moving. The first time I was too emotional, so I think we reshot that scene three times. Usually it was two.


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When Candi starts singing, the baby starts to move and reach for her. But also as an actress, she played the surprise of seeing the baby wake up. Candice was such a good mom. She knew how to hold a baby. Babies pick up those vibes, so she was really good with it. I think the baby felt really comfortable and safe.

Ask Avery Anything: A Woman's Journey Through Midlife Dating

The audience was just weeping. Plus, I was standing behind the cameras, and it was my last episode, so it was emotional on many levels all the way around. After the shoot, Candice arranged to have a huge going-away party with a Mexican theme to it, because she loves Mexican food. She had a piano in there, and we sang show tunes. It went on for quite a long time! Bush ticket in And Murphy Brown took particular glee in cracking wise about the veep, regularly slipping gags at his expense into the show.

Whether or not Quayle was watching the show, he almost certainly paid attention to those frequent slights. I had written a Dan Quayle joke that we cut out; it was about Pat Buchanan buying him a high chair or something like that. We had done a Dan Quayle joke every episode. This was such a big cultural event that Murphy Brown had had a baby, and the nation watched this episode. He did not apparently see it, but he seized on it as a way of speaking about what he perceived to be the crumbling of Western civilization when single women are choosing to have children out of wedlock.

I saw the front page of the New York Times , and Murphy was holding the baby above the fold. Quayle was fairly savvy; there were just op-ed pieces and little news pieces that ran along with the campaign. I am staying out of this one. We were inundated with phone calls from every news outlet wanting a reaction. Dan Rather wanted me to open the evening news with him, and 60 Minutes wanted to invite Dan Quayle and myself on to debate each other. I got very concerned about being put in the middle of what was a very contentious election year. As soon as I put the statement out that seemed to catch fire, and then we just let everybody else jump into the debate and stepped back.

It was unbelievably strange to suddenly be national news, and to see all of this reality blurring.

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Then Dan Quayle blurred the whole thing by taking sitcom critique and making it into news. It was just a surreal moment for all of us. The whole summer that followed was a lot of outcry from people who were trying to redefine what a family is, and how that particular Republican platform seemed very exclusive instead of inclusive. The debate became much bigger than single mothers. It was a perfect storm of a societal and cultural conversation just intersecting with a television show.

Diane really had her finger on the moment. Dan Quayle was right there to play along, and yes, of course, the industry was ready to applaud her and stand together on this. No question about it. It definitely put the wind behind our sails. To take on top comedy writers is fairly suicidal. And, it became such a media firestorm that when the show came back in September, it started at No.

He was pointing at the L. He chose her not just as a revenge ploy, but also because it would have hit home for a lot of people who all had watched that episode. But it backfired, and they lost the election. Emmy Night, The Murphy Brown team had already been staples at the Emmy Awards for three years running, with the show winning Outstanding Comedy Series for its sophomore season and Bergen taking home the Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series statue in and But the Dan Quayle-instigated controversy gave the show fresh awards life, and both Bergen and English used their time at the podium to address the vice president.

Plus, we had been through a whole summer of being pummeled. I was quoting a line from one of our episodes, and I think it really upset Mrs. That would be a good do-over for me. I think we had already said whatever we were going to say in the episode, and then everybody else had their say all summer.


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A friend of mine had helped me write my acceptance speech, if I had to give one. The vice president I took care of at the beginning. I mostly wanted to acknowledge the writers of the show. I never got used to winning; I was always overwhelmed and just really beyond grateful to win.

The response to Murphy was always so positive that it was just you tried to hang on to the train and not fall off, because you just got swept up in the energy and the success of the show.

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I was thrilled and shocked the first time I was nominated for the pilot. I had been nominated every year since then, so this was the fourth time, consecutively. For my first nomination [in ], I was sitting in the aisle, and right before your award comes up, a cameraman comes and kneels right in the aisle and puts a camera in your face.

That happened three years in a row! I was a pro by this point, so when they actually announced my name it was an amazing thing. I remember stammering my gratitude to Diane and Candice, and the whole gang. I left the political stuff to the other two. Both times we won the Emmy for Outstanding Comedy, I was pregnant. I always apologized to people that we only wanted two kids, because it was like the lucky charm! The first time, it was like a dream. I grew up watching the Emmys, and here I was getting one.

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The second time, I was a bit more relaxed. I was there with my husband, my sister, and my brother-in-law, and it was great to share it with them. My family was on the East Coast at that particular moment, so Candice was my date. So it was a hell of a weekend! The next day we were back on set doing the fifth season, and Steve Peterman and Gary Dontzig were the executive producers because Diane had left. So you put in perspective all the subjectiveness [of awards]. Over the years, for example, various articles have argued the dubious premise that Dan Quayle had been right all along.

She was left with the decision: Should I end this pregnancy or should I go forward? It was not just another lifestyle choice. It was a huge life decision involving many lives. Certainly Murphy felt that fathers were extremely important because she enlisted the aid of all the trusted males in her life to help her. Dan Quayle was right about what , you know? Not having Diane writing the show [in Season 5] was a big change. We continued to do very well, and had excellent writers, but she was the birth mother. We tried to keep the character intact, but to lose the voice of Diane was difficult.

People would only stay two years and then get huge development deals. Where do you want to be? Could a woman manage all of these things? But can she have a career and a baby? The point was that this was territory that needed to be explored. Murphy was the ultimate single woman, and then to make her into a mom, there are all kinds of minefields you have to avoid. Then I left, and I left it to my brilliant writing staff, and it was a really tough thing to juggle. Is He a Player? Communications- Learn to Read Between the Lines.

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