Sexual Words Of Wisdom: True Stories of Sexual Adventures

I had no right to want you--but I reached out and took you anyway. And now look what's become of you! Trying to seduce a vampire. Women know more about words than men ever will. And they know how little they can ever possibly mean. Fate is a fickle whore. Take your clothes off and get back in my bed. Or just another lost angel And by waiting, they miss out. Usually, what you wish for doesn't fall in your lap; it falls somewhere nearby, and you have to recognize it, stand up, and put in the time and work it takes to get to it.

This isn't because the universe is cruel. It's because the universe is smart. It has its own cat-string theory and knows we don't appreciate things that fall into our laps. Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists. Apparently, she had to nearly commit murder to arouse him enough to attack her. You want great, headbanging sex, get off the fucking phone and come with me. Such men are described with a certain facile contempt as lady-killers, but the term has a nugget of truthful observation in it, for in fact all the passionate instincts of the chase are present in their ceaseless vigilance: Knowing this is the beginning of knowing bliss.

Smell, voice, touch, and kissing style all figure in. Technical skills and good hygiene are important as well. But beyond these, here are some characteristics to look for. What stops us from being good lovers? Further, many of us resist surrendering to how sexy we really are.

Also, sex is frequently viewed more as a performance feat than as a holy sexual energy exchange. Except between lovers, they are rarely part of our vocabulary. We are a culture that embraces shame, only there is nothing to be ashamed of! At sixteen, when I was about to make love with my boyfriend of two years for the first time, a life-altering rite of passage, I asked my mother about sex. I wish parents and authority figures would finally grasp that when you tell teenagers that sex is forbidden, it beckons all the more. It then becomes dangerous, risky, more highly charged.

Many sophisticated parents today understand this. They honestly discuss the pros and cons of teenage sex without shaming their children or cutting them off. Spirituality needs to be part of that discussion. Two souls sharing erotic passion through a sexual energy exchange is a way of celebrating spirit too. Knowing that a caring not punishing higher power is involved brings reverence, integrity, and responsibility to having sex for both teens and adults.

It elevates the experience. Spirit is happy that we love each other. It has many sides, including sexiness. How different our attitudes would be! Just as baby chicks imprint on their mothers, we imprint on our parents. You were fortunate if your parents modeled a healthy sexuality and taught you to be proud of your body. Regrettably, for the rest of us, such self-esteem about our bodies is hard-earned. However, using the following strategies, you can let go of negative programming.

Seeing yourself as an erotic being and embracing your own allure are the rewards of awakening sexual energy. Sometimes, though, we resist our own sexiness or having sex at all because it mirrors our insecurities. Is my partner judging me?

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Am I a good lover? Will I disappoint my partner? Will I be rejected? There are practical steps you can take to overcome resistance. You have to want to be sexy and keep passion alive in a relationship. Denial and apathy are the enemies of passion.

So stay alert to the following deterrents to a good sexual energy exchange. Then you can correct the situation. Sexual responsiveness is a sensitive barometer. Intimacy requires self-awareness and a willingness to remove obstacles. Taking action can help you achieve a loving, erotic relationship. On a daily basis, train yourself to be more mindful about getting rest and pacing yourself. Though family, work, and other demands can intrude on making time for sexual energy, being dedicated to self-care can help you prioritize it in your relationship. To cure self-doubts, you need to be solution-oriented.

For more complex issues such as fear of intimacy, reach out to a therapist or a friend for insight.

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While exploring your fears, be kind to yourself. Such sweetness allows you to mend wounds and reclaim your sexual power. Orgasm is the crown jewel of surrender. You tap into the primordial flow of life as well as release tension. The more surrendered you are, the more ecstatic the orgasm. Sex and orgasms are an intrinsic part of being human. For me, these are the great rewards of having a body! The World Health Organization estimates that at least a hundred million acts of intercourse take place each day worldwide. Imagine if even half of these were motivated by love—what ecstasy would surround the planet!

On average, American couples have sex two times per week. The average male orgasm lasts ten seconds and a female orgasm is twenty seconds or longer. I could hardly believe the national polls revealing that nearly 50 percent of women report having orgasms infrequently or not at all during intercourse. These statistics highlight a glaring reluctance many of us have to be honest with our partners about our sexual energy exchanges. What is an orgasm? How could this miracle ever be just one thing?

It involves physical, emotional, spiritual, and energetic surrenders. In men, orgasm typically occurs from stimulating the penis; in women, from stimulating the clitoris or the sacred G-spot in the vagina. These parts of our body are marvelously sensitive due to a high density of nerve fibers. Caressing them activates pleasure centers in the brain. Your body shifts gears. Your heart rate increases. Blood rushes to your genitals, making them swell. At climax men, and some women, ejaculate. You experience waves of pleasure, stress evaporates, and a warm glow permeates your body.

Your biology wants you to relax into a blissful surrender through the sexual energy between two people. Emotions play a different role in orgasm for men and women. I am reluctant to stereotype genders, but for women emotional intimacy and trust are often more necessary in order to feel safe enough to let go—though of course physical attraction is essential too. Orgasms are easier when we feel treasured.

If we feel criticized, unappreciated, or rushed it can be difficult, if not impossible, to surrender during sex. In contrast, men are more biologically wired to prioritize orgasm over an emotional connection or even trust. Physical attraction may be all that it takes to climax. Nevertheless, there are also many loving, sexy men who are emotionally sensitive, responsive, and in no hurry at all.

Foreplay is an opportunity for couples to arouse and nurture each other though women seem to crave it more. The average man can have an orgasm within a few minutes or less.

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Women may need up to twenty minutes of foreplay. Ideally, of course, neither partner hears a clock ticking. Many couples I treat are in paradise letting sexual energy tension mount before intercourse without any sense of time. Foreplay lets them feel close, explore, play, prolong the ecstatic pangs of arousal. I liken foreplay to tuning a musical instrument. Then foreplay never just feels like work. During foreplay it needs to be manually or orally stimulated unless the angle of your bodies happens to be just right, which is less likely. Couples must know this so they can mutually pleasure each other.

Then they can plan erotic interludes to leisurely enjoy each other during a sexual energy exchange and the pleasures their bodies have to offer. Set aside uninterrupted time to playfully experiment. Begin to relax by breathing deep and slow.

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We habitually breathe shallowly to temper sexual and other feelings. I want you to sense, not think, to be fully in your body. Exploring each other is never just a one-time event. Experiment with what gives you both goose bumps, tingles, or surges of warmth. Notice how your body feels, all of it.

This lets you experience more pleasure and intimacy. From an intuitive perspective , your orgasm is never just your own during lovemaking. Sexual energy gets transmitted to your partner, affecting his or her well-being. Your energy fields overlap, conveying both joy and despair even during brief hookups. From that perspective, there is no such thing as casual sex.

I want you to be. If only we could see that these are the treasures of life; and not all those things we have believed to be treasures, that we always go so hard at. Stop and feel the minute you are living in right now: What do the trees look like? What does that smile mean? Do you feel there is love? You put it away for a little while, and now and again you look in the closet for something else and you remember, and you think, soon. Then it becomes something that is just there, in the closet, and other things get crowded in front of it and on top of it and finally you don't think about it at all.

The thing that was your bright treasure. You don't think about it.

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A loss you could not contemplate at one time, and now it becomes something you can barely remember. I am not even who I was yesterday. Tomorrow I will be new again, and again, until I am completely the woman I was meant to be. Intimacy says, "This is who I am". When we see the humanity in someone, it becomes difficult to sexualize and objectify them.