Parental Alienation Syndrome Checklist for Children: 10 Warning Signs and Characteristics

Depose the other parent. If your ex-spouse files a motion, such as a motion to modify custody, that you believe is motivated by parental alienation, you should conduct a deposition to assess their reasons for the motion and what they hope to gain from it. For example, your attorney may ask your ex-spouse if they've ever talked to the child about your personal life, or if they have ever made negative comments about you to the child. You can ask your ex-spouse about these kinds of behavior in the course of a deposition. Talk to other adults who are around your child on a regular basis. While your child may not say much directly to you, they may mention things around other adults.

Keep in mind that other family members also may be contributing to parental alienation. This can be the case if, for example, the alienated parent feels victimized by you. If you asked your husband for a divorce and he didn't want one, he may feel that it's your fault the marriage ended. His parents or siblings may naturally gravitate to his side and believe things that he says about you, even if they are untrue.

Neutral third parties such as the child's teacher or coach may be better sources of information concerning the other parent's actions. For example, if your ex-husband is engaging in alienating behavior, the teacher may notice a difference in your child's conduct when she is staying with him as opposed to when she is with you.

Supportive individuals in your community, such as teachers, coaches, and religious leaders, typically have your child's best interests at heart and can be strong witnesses on your behalf when you're attempting to prove parental alienation. Correct any false or distorted information. Since alienating parents often lie to turn the child against the targeted parent, make sure your child and other adults know the truth. For example, if your ex-husband told his sister that you were an alcoholic, you may have a hard time convincing her that you're not given her natural impulse to trust and protect her brother.

Alienating parents may encourage an "us against them" mentality, so stress that you have the child's best interests at heart and aren't trying to make an enemy of your ex. Consider taking your child to a psychologist. Psychological treatment can be essential not only for proving parental alienation but for your child's health as well. Your child may tell things to a psychologist that they wouldn't tell you. Additionally, psychologists are trained to recognize the significance of certain conduct and behavioral patterns that you might not notice.

Your child also may feel more comfortable talking about things the other parent is saying about you than they would be telling you those things.

9 Warning Signs of Parental Alienation and What To Do About Them

In some cases you may be able to get the court to order a psychological evaluation of your child. Talk this over with your attorney to find out what the process is in your state. Your state or local children's services agency also can help if you're having difficulties with the other parent or believe your child is suffering from parental alienation syndrome. These agencies have resources to assist you and their assistance will save you money compared to taking your child to a psychologist or psychiatrist in private practice. Testimony from a child psychologist or psychiatrist maybe necessary to prove this harm.

The best way to fight the other parent's attempted emotional manipulation of your child is to prove them wrong. Keep the best interests of your child at heart, and don't give up on them just because your ex-spouse is making things difficult. Your child will notice if you seem to stop caring or if you constantly give in to your ex's demands.

Encouraging your child to go on play dates or become involved in community activities will strengthen their connection to you in a positive way and can help combat the effects of alienation. Avoid negative interactions with the other parent. Getting into fights with your ex-spouse, especially in front of your child, will only confuse your child further and give the alienating parent more ammunition.

• Dance of the Stones (The Summer of Magic Quartet).
• The Wealth of Nations: Books IV-V: Bks.4-5 (Penguin Classics).
• Gioco e teoria del duende (Biblioteca minima) (Italian Edition).

Try to resolve any disagreements you have with the other parent without bringing the child into it. Your child knows the two of you don't get along — you're divorced. But avoid involving your children in these disagreements or causing them to feel as though they're responsible for the problems you're having. Refrain from disparaging the other parent in front of your child. Remember that parental alienation is a form of emotional abuse, and avoid engaging in the same behaviors yourself. Keep in mind that although children may be able to brush off the occasional insulting remark when you are obviously angry or frustrated, these statements can have tremendous consequences, particularly if the other parent is saying similar things about you.

Strive to keep your relationship with your child positive and monitor your own behavior, keeping your expressions of anger and hurt under control. For example, you could tell your child "I'm very frustrated right now, and I don't want to dwell on it. Let's do something fun instead. Rather than talking negatively about the other parent or throwing accusations, focus on the health and well-being of your child. If you truly believe that your child is in danger, or is being abused or neglected by the other parent, contact law enforcement immediately. Keep conversations with your child age-appropriate.

Alienating parents often tell children information they're not old enough to understand yet. Alienating parents also may give the child the opportunity to make choices that they are not mature enough to be making yet. For example, an alienating parent may ask your child to choose one over the other, or imply that they have a choice in whether to comply with the court's visitation order.

If your child asks questions related to things the alienating parent has said, be careful not to share information that may be too mature for the child. You can provide an honest answer while at the same time explaining that you will discuss the subject in more detail later.

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Seek court orders prohibiting certain conduct. If the other parent is engaging in specific alienating behavior, you can go to court and ask the judge to prohibit them from continuing to do those things. You also can seek court orders to prohibit your ex-spouse from scheduling events or activities that conflict with the visitation schedule, or to allow phone calls at specific times of day. The monitor won't interfere with your ex-spouse's time with your child, but will observe them and ensure that your ex-spouse isn't alone with the child. What happens if my ex husband got custody of our sons and he does not let me visit on my visitation days.

This is domestic violence. It's not domestic violence, but he is violating a court order if you have been granted visitation rights.

9 Warning Signs that Parental Alienation is Present

Contact the court that granted the order and file a complaint. Not Helpful 9 Helpful Why is this all written in perspective of men doing this when statistically women do this more frequently? First of all, if you read through the whole article, they're very careful to include examples using both sexes, so your complaint is invalid. Secondly, statistics only compile what is declared.

This is an insidious type of domestic violence, where abusive men also tend to psychologically abuse the mother. In such cases, women become ashamed and even feel they are at fault. Therefore those cases - probably much more frequently attributable to men - do not appear in statistics. Not Helpful 42 Helpful Any reliable lawyer is aware of this. Just in case, make sure to only hire lawyers that have a good reputation.

Not Helpful 9 Helpful 5. I can't visit with my kids until my ex does his intake at a facility. I had it out with the director of the facility because of this, and my ex found out. What can I do? I was accused of stalling because the monitoring agency took a long time to process my documents. The monitoring agency should include in their report to the court which you can request that the other parent is not cooperating in a timely manner. Be careful, though, they will document your attitude as well as your ex's, so remain courteous and professional.

Not Helpful 0 Helpful 0. Why do some counties appear to favor the alienating parent? Answer this question Flag as What if I dont have a court order and my grandmother has permanent placement of my children? I cant afford an attorney and I want to get into court. What kind of motion do I file on my own? I'm the domiciliary parent, and my ex is trying to intimidate our child into lying about me to build a case for custody.

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What can my daughter do about her ex belittling her and threatening her in front of the children? My ex claims that because I do not answer every time she calls to talk to our child that I am "alienating" her. How can I prove that I'm not? Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered.

9 Warning Signs of Parental Alienation and What To Do About Them · Divorced Moms

The parent involved in such alienation behavior then may gain the misplaced loyalty of the child. In a recent survey, one in five parents stated that their primary objective during the divorce was to make the experience as unpleasant as possible for the former spouse; despite the effects such attitudes and behavior have on the children.

Parental Alienation Syndrome is a form of emotional child abuse. Parents in hostile separations may suffer depression, anger and anxiety or aggression.

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The expression of these feelings results in withdrawing of love and communication which may extend to the children through the alienating parent. Anyone claiming Parental Alienation Syndrome should look for family therapy as a constructive way forward. Other forms of abuse are physical, sexual, and neglect which are much easier to identify. If the parental alienation has been successful and has influenced the child against the target parent, the observer will see symptoms of parental alienation syndrome. Many children appear healthy until asked about the target parent. Please contact an attorney and discuss your options on how to help this child.

Formulate a plan to move forward. Do not give up your parental rights! Your child desperately needs and is entitled to your help! You must be logged in to post a comment.