People of the Games

Sometimes we use reverse psychology to give the impression that we are more sought after and busier than we really are. Scarcer resources are more in demand, after all. This is a form of game playing though and it does sometimes backfire.

I wish we lived in a world where people could be more open and express themselves as the mood takes them instead of trying to predict the outcome of their own behaviour. You know the drill — if I call now, I might seem too keen so I will wait another day, or — I have just received a text. I want to reply now but I will make them wait a little…games games games. This is connected to the above point.

Keeping another person guessing as to our true feelings can also be seen as a form of game playing — a tactic. We may feel the need to protect ourselves from getting hurt or the idea of keeping the other person in the dark may make us feel more in control. Whatever the reason — there is some sort of payoff. A lot can be gleaned from non verbal communication. In fact we communicate more through non verbal language than we do verbal language.

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We can easily make another person feel inferior by the way we look at them, the way we acknowledge them. People play subtle games relating to their perceived status. Corporate environments are minefields for human games. There is subtle bullying, emotional blackmail and various incentives that can lead to all sorts of game playing in the pursuit of financial rewards and recognition.

Some games seem inevitable and we all have the ability to manipulate others. It all boils down to control and a desire to portray ourselves in the best light possible. Ask yourself whether you play any games and if you do, are they necessary?

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• Games People Play | Eric Berne | Creator of Transactional Analysis?
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Sometimes, a straight forward honest and direct approach is the best way forward. For those seeking addiction treatment for themselves or a loved one, the MentalHelp.

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Our helpline is offered at no cost to you and with no obligation to enter into treatment. In reality, the "winner" of a mind game is the person that returns to the Adult ego-state first.

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In the game entitled "Now I've Got You, You Son of a Bitch," one who discovers that another has made a minor mistake in a matter involving them both holds the entire matter hostage to the minor mistake. In this example of NIGYSOB Berne often abbreviates his names for games by using their acronyms , the 'white' the customer receives a gain in the form of a justifcation for his rage, and can avoid confronting his own deficiencies. The plumber also receives a gain from his clear refusal to adhere to the terms of the agreement, although in the book's example, he eventually gives in - an example of the game "Why does this always happen to me?

Fred V & Grafix - Games People Play

Not all interactions or transactions are part of a game. Specifically, if both parties in a one-on-one conversation remain in an Adult-to-Adult ego-state, it is less likely that a game is being played.

Games People Play

In the s, Berne synthesized his theory of "human gaming" and built on work from Paul Federn and Edoardo Weiss and integrated results from Wilder Penfield to develop transactional analysis [1]. Transactional analysis, according to physician James R. Allen, is a "cognitive behavioral approach to treatment and In , American therapist-turned-author James Redfield self-published The Celestine Prophecy influenced by the theory of Berne's human gaming.

Specifically, the life games to which Berne refers in his book is a tool used in an individual's quest for energetic independence.



From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. The Psychology of Human Relationships First edition.