I Dont Want You To Go

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Your email address will not be published. Embodying Truth November 2, I wasn't in the lane next to him but one away, as I waited for the light to turn green in San Rafael where the homeless problem has gotten noticeably worse in the past few years. Part of me was glad I was one lane away, another part of me wanted to get him in the car and take him to get something to eat.

As I was having this second impulse the light turned green and I felt a deep pang in my chest as I drove off leaving his disheveled self there on the corner. I don't want that man to be hungry. That is the absolute, bottom line truth. I don't care why he's on that corner or what brought him to the state that requires him to beg for food, money or alcohol.

I don't want him to be hungry. I don't care if he drinks every penny he gets, sticks a needle in his arm, or smokes 10 packs of cigarettes a day I still don't want him to be hungry.

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I don't want anyone to be hungry in this world, and no one has to be. Not when we have the abundance we have. But the truth is, there was a time I didn't care, or at least I didn't want to care. When I moved to San Francisco 25 years ago in order to deal with what was a theretofore new and slightly harrowing experience, I told myself that it didn't matter that I wasn't giving money to all the people begging on the street because they were addicts and that was their choice by not stopping the behavior that got them there in the first place.

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I was ignorant, and thankfully I no longer think like this. No one wants to be homeless, poor, disenfranchised, begging, dirty, helpless, or addicted. Being an addict is not fun. I do know, firsthand. Thankfully my addictions haven't taken me down, but they easily could have. I know people just like me that have ended up on the streets for crimes they didn't commit. Meaning they've had rough lives and haven't been able to cope and the bottle, or the needle, or the road was a better option than trying to fit into a narrow definition that society gave them of what's acceptable.

I Don't Want You to Go (Lani Hall song)

I'm done judging them because I know it's not their fault. None of this is our fault, necessarily, but it is all of our responsibility. There are many issues in this world.

We all are fully aware at this moment in time how overwhelming it is to try to change our own lives to make them what we want them to be let alone solve systemic issues that feed and fuel the inequality of basic human dignity. Obtaining healthy food, clean water, basic shelter, affordable health care, and meaningful work should be part and parcel of our society's ground rules for all, not just the privilege of some "lucky" ones.

Q2L4 i Dont Want You to Go |authorSTREAM

And yes, there are people in this country who don't want to work, who take advantage of the system, and who are "lazy", but know this, those are symptoms of a much larger issue that we are, on the whole, not paying attention to. People pay a price for those behaviors because at our core we all want to contribute, it feeds the core of healthy self-esteem, and some simply can't for one reason or another. I personally feel the pain of those who do not fit in, who can't figure out the world, and who've not been given the basic tools in their upbringing to navigate the rules and structure of this society.

We humans are nature itself, yet at it's core, our western culture is deeply disconnected from the fundamental cycles of the natural world.

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We've heralded a direction that takes us away from what informs and governs our instincts and protects our innate connection to the earth, both of which are imperative sources of information for ongoing survival. Instead, our mind-based way of being, which has been developing over the past hundred years, has all but split us from our true north. We think, therefore we think we have it all figured out. What we are missing, what the key ingredient is, is something the Dalai Lama has been teaching since before we learned his name. That ingredient is Compassion. Seem to pull away. It feels like I'm acting in a one-man play.

You don't want me to go. You don't want to be alone. And that feels so impersonal and it chills me to the bone. You don't want me to go 'cause you don't want to be alone. And in my heart yes I know, I don't want to be without you. I smile to cover the truth.

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• SONGTEKST: Natalia - You Don’t Want Me To Go;
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It's like I'm split in two. One half wants to walk away. And the other half just wants you. And it's written all over my face. You can see it in my eyes. I smile 'cause I've got nothing. One half of me wants to walk away.

Kyla - I Don't Want You To Go Lyrics

And the other half just wants to touch you. I wish I knew what to do. Don't want to make a big mistake, but it feels like all I do is give. And all you do is take.