Moscow Drive (Rifkin & Whelan Mersey Mojo Book 1)

He has written for boxing websites and handled hecklers, hacks and life sentence prisoners in anger management. In other words, his natural place in fiction is crime comedy. He specialises in chaotic crime mysteries and whodunnits. However, he is equally at home in a variety of styles and settings. Steampunk novella 'Three Moons Blind,' due early promises to become a cult classic in its own right. Whatever the genre, Mark is accomplished in creating characters that will remain with you once you have finished reading.

He cites his influences as running the gauntlet from Joe R. His ear for dialogue and his understanding of motivation, character flaws and the inner workings of the under dog allow him to produce hilarious comedy that pulls you into the heart of the conflict. If you are tired of comedy that fails to make you laugh, give Mark Porter a shot. A genuinely fresh voice. Are you an author? Help us improve our Author Pages by updating your bibliography and submitting a new or current image and biography.

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Provide feedback about this page. Greene is indifferent to most people at the precinct. They could be wallpaper or plant pots. Menzies is tough to ignore. Greene has seen more interesting sneeze deposits. Since Connie is a light and fitful sleeper, she sleeps in the back room when Greene hits beer time. Beer time happens less frequently than Greene would like but he sleeps like a billionaire on cannabis. When he sleeps he snores. When he snores, people look for the low flying aircraft.

Connie lays alone tonight when she returns and Greene moves the sheets around in an oblivious fog of dreams that include low ceilings and a pin striped moron. The nerves have other origins, too. Years of being married to a street pounding cop about the size of a high school, has given her reason to be nervous. Most likely to get shot, most likely to get fired, most likely to get shot whilst being fired. Greene has made his way through a number of partners. Jarvis is a man with a skill in seeing past the legend and picking the pepper from the fly shit when it comes to the important stuff.

Jarvis knows that Greene, if rightfully motivated, can see an unreliable witness through walls. The man knows people. He knows how angry people think. Greene just gets it. When Greene finds Jarvis using the coffee machine before roll call, he already has the skinny on the story that Menzies had been getting hard for the night before. Actually, in the interest of accuracy, Jarvis looooooks.

You know how I feel about that. The place is buzzing like a party at my place. Minter is the sewer guy. The bag was found not far from where we were yesterday. Not the smartest sociopath. When you ever know a call at home over a single piece of evidence? He had always imagined Hill Street Blues growing up. It was near enough. Duty Sergeant Andy Hall took the podium. He had graduated from the academy at the exact same parade as Greene.

Difference was a smaller mouth and a sensible head. For all that, Greene has a high regard for him. One of the few. Fact is, the missing college girl, Ellie Staunton is the niece of Louis Wright. You all know, or should know who the esteemed Mr Wright is, as he is the most senior assistant to our current D.

This time, however, volume quickly rises as conjecture spreads around unimpeded. Yes, we are under the microscope. Yes, there is pressure to get the girl found. We are expecting help from other precincts. If you are not on the homicide squad and your team can spare you, I need you to go through the appropriate channels. As of right now, this is a priority one missing person. The Washington Post coined it. Lets all get a handle on things and calm down. You know that leaks to the press can happen.

You all also know that as of right now, this minute this kid is still alive, so far as we know. Unless someone found a way to bring the victims of the other guy back, then she has to be a priority. Hall breaks the roll call up and advises any questions to be directed to the Captain, via Menzies.

Outside the sun has done a pretty convincing job of turning the interior into an oven. Jarvis hits the air con and Greene reaches for the binder. We know now that all roads lead to Minter. You know what the script is.

The Time of Your Life: How to Accomplish All that God Wants You to Do

We got our orders. Half of the cities uniforms have been assigned to her case. The pause lasts for half a minute. Greene takes it as an agreement. I promise to let you do the short yardage smash mouth stuff. The car cuts through down town traffic as stop lights seem to fall into line and let them pass. Greene mumbles something unintelligible that Jarvis recognises to be a basic call for breakfast and pulls in outside a deli without a word changing hands. Moments later, he emerges, mirrored shades, head beaded with sweat, shirt sleeves already damp and his black cotton tie hanging lifeless, backing on to his shirt when the breeze blows just right.

Greene struggles into the passenger seat and talks about his shitty knees, passes a bagel to Jarvis. They eat efficiently, no talking.

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They are not damn women at a coffee shop, as Greene was fond of saying. Once the wheels are moving again the talk resumes and they are hitting stride for the day.

• God the Mosquito and Man!
• Summer Slammin’ (A Greene & Jarvis short)by Mark Porter.
• Whoever Heard of a Fird!

Listen to the damn story. I swear on all things moral and proper, you got a problem with interruptin. It drives me nuts, I gotta tell you. One of my old partners.

Slow Horse By Mark Porter | PULP METAL MAGAZINE

Might have been Clark or Gregson. It was Clark, you know. Clark said we got to keep about as close an eye on this guy as possible. And he was right. Greene and Jarvis both know all about those feelings. The aches that become jaws; gnawing at you within the dead air of a daydream. Just feels like it. They found the hat and I know this guy is down the sewer. The morning passes in a lethargic age of turning circles, asking questions, showing photos of the co-ed and mug shots of possible targets.

You ever considered you could be wrong? About the sewer, I mean. Even bums move on. But as far as it goes; I got no grudge to speak of. The radio throws static at them, farts, whizzes and coughs and then tells them that Detective Clark, homicide, has the girl and the perp and he found them climbing down a manhole before Minter could get to dancing down the sewer off Union Street. Greene lifts the binder from the foot well and brings it down in a heavy crack against the dash.

Then, because it feels good, he does it again. The important thing is the bastard was caught. Will you trust me next time? Finds a corner to sulk in. For such a huge man, Jarvis knows his partner can, on occasion, revert to small boy ways. Greene retrieves the binder from the foot well, strokes a side beef hand across the cover tenderly. Opens it up and begins to go through the pages. Jarvis finds the Motown sounds on the dial and gets to singing all about it. Three blocks down and a half a minute later of understanding between them, Greene mutes the music, even though he knows love really does hurt without you and plants his index finger onto a yellowed page.

Mark Porter is an ex-stand-up comic, rock drummer and probation officer. The first instalment, Moscow Drive is out in November. He lists Joe R. Lansdale and Christopher Moore amongst his influences. You are commenting using your WordPress. You are commenting using your Twitter account. You are commenting using your Facebook account. Notify me of new comments via email. Notify me of new posts via email. How tall are you? Help me out here. Jeez, I think the sun went in.

You should be a point guard. Did I forget to buy you flowers? The men say nothing.

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They stare out of the wind shield. What a beaut bit of ladanage from the double act. Leave a Reply Cancel reply Enter your comment here Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: