Jokes Relationship Jokes : 828 Relationship Jokes

He wore a dress to prom as a joke and got thoroughly fondled by a drunk football player until he turned around. The football player threw up upon immediately realising my friend is a guy. He almost got to participate in a threesome until the second girl showed up and it was his sister. Basically any time we need sex or relationship advice we start out asking him and then go "Oh, wait, you wouldn't know would you? If he's still alive. He started trying to make his own moonshine and I haven't heard from him a few weeks I recently moved to a neighbor state.

He's either drunk himself stupid, blown himself up, or hasn't charged his phone.

Jokes Relationship Jokes : 828 Relationship Jokes

Either way, I don't think he reddits. While that's not an inside joke , I doubt many people outside Reddit use that or understand the meaning. You're on the inside! I honestly didnt know it was my cake day until someone pointed it out for me. Time flies after you finally discover Reddit.

I got a blowjob from a girl. It was terrible, but it was also my first ever so i had nothing to comoare it to. But i knew soemthi g wasnt right. She used nothing but teeth and when i finished after 45 minutes of agony she leaned i to my esr and whispered "dont expect all girls to be that good".

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This story is known in my friend group as "teeth" and is joked about a lot. I got a blowjob from mom's spaghetti. But i knew soemthi g wasnt mom's spaghetti. She used nothing but mom's spaghetti and when i finished after 45 minutes of agony she leaned i to my esr and whispered "dont expect all girls to be mom's spaghetti". This story is known in my friend group as "mom's spaghetti" and is joked about a lot.

We were all giggling when the teacher said stuff like, "Calculus is really hard. When we were having a beer with the teachers on our last school day this is in Germany I then stood up and explained the inside joke to her. Saying nice turning signal jackass whenever someone is driving like an idiot. Doesn't matter if turning signals are involved.

One time I got to my friends' house, said hi, then without saying anything else, went to their toilet and violently vomited for several minutes I hadn't expected to be ill, it happened pretty suddenly. So now any time we see each other, we say hi, stare silently for a few moments then make loud gagging noises. Behind the backs of those who are bragging, we will do a quick "air jack-off" mid conversation. When we were in 6th grade we're in 10th grade now we watched the movie Tangled in class, and at the end credits my friend decided to memorize a name at random from the credits.

Today, we know him as the man, the myth. Jesus Canal, the almighty Character C. We've been real-life spamming a friend with this image. The typical putting the photo under his mouse, changing a random icon photo on his desktop, sending the photo at random times and through random forms. Its mainly used for children. So the joke started when we would sarcastically say that we payed a whole bunch of money for some dank weed, but it never got us high, and from then whenever we wanted to smoke we would ask each other if we wanted to "get stuck" Like get stuck on the Web.

Everyday me and a friend would meet up in the cemetery after school and smoke a joint while walking to the basketball courts. Almost every time we finished smoking we pass by this tombstone with the name "Gillot". Gillot became our smoking buddy. We would always give him a touch will walking by, or hangout at his tombstone while finishing the joint. Then it became a thing to stop there for a minute or two just to be nice. Just imagine two yr old stoners visiting this totally random tombstone, which we had no clue who it was, almost every day for my 4 years of highschool.

We made up an entire life for him, too. Probably nothing of which he actually experienced, but it was fun adding to this guy's story. It's called Maple's window. For context, we're all gamer friends, and we have a friend in Britain we call "Maple". He has a window that's broken, so it's always open at all times.

We've made this into a joke where we'll randomly relate things to "Maple's window". Or I'll just say it randomly to friends who aren't in on the joke, relating it arbitrarily to whatever they're talking about.

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I don't know who started this, but whenever someone in my group said something really, really lame like a lame joke, the ones that wouldn't elicit a single courtesy chuckle , we would imitate a school bus brake sound , like saying "saaaaaah! I still use it sometimes with my remaining friend from that group. Another one, which I initiated, was to signal to a specific friend that whatever a third party was saying was either lame or bullshit, by simply rubbing our chin with the hand.

It came to a point in which a bunch of schoolmates would try to elicit jokes from an unsuspecting party, then laugh out loudly and rubbing their chins. The unsuspecting party would think they were the star of the day, and wouldn't even notice everyone rubbing their chins. Eventually, everyone on my classroom knew about the sign, and simply use it instead of saying "that's lame.

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I thought that was funny. Our sign language for butter is pretending to take the whole stick and deepthroating it. Won a game of charades using it, and people wigged the fuck out. With mine it used to be, "And Bob is an elderly donkey," which just started as something my friend said in lieu of something like, "And pigs have wings.

My friend fingered a girl with a bush about 5 years ago. We call her the President to her face to this day. She thinks its a compliment. I work in retail sails with an older black gentleman we'll call Floyd. Floyd is funny as shit. Floyd is dating a woman from another department, everyone knows, it's no biggie. Somehow it became a running joke that I stole Floyd's woman and he has to ask me permission to see her.

Makes me giggle every time. We were playing an adventure board game. My buddy with the highest intelligence rolled a check to try to talk to cats from another world. Rolled 2 consecutive 1's on a d It was decided that he just started meowing over and over again instead of trying to speak. Now my group of friends meows to each other So we used to play loads of Guitar Hero, and if anyone was playing something terribly we'd look up the band, find out if anyone in said band was dead, and then estimate the size of the mill we could power by utilizing the torque of this dead band member spinning in their grave.

Nowadays, if I can hear my mate playing his guitar and I can figure out what song it is I'll let him know that x out of band y is dead, and we just need to wait for the wheat to grow. Our solution for solving the energy crisis is to wait for one of the Gallagher brothers to die and hook them up to a dynamo, so all future electricity can be powered by twats who find a guitar at parties and start playing Wonderwall. After someone tells a story, chime in and say "moral of the story, don't fuck your children.

These all come from playing with some awesome randoms on League of Legends, and were the best responses to the situations at the time. Like 6 years ago in high school there was a seminar or some shit and they were talking about gang violence. I forget how it even came up but they implied that "26" was a gang or some bullshit and a bunch of people started yelling out I don't even know how but it spread to my friend group and to this day 2 of them still thoroughly enjoy the number Its an almost unhealthy obsession..

One of our friends we always refer to as a "douche bag".

He is really a nice, soften spoken, kind person. But we always talk about what a Douche bag he is. Then, when we meet new people, they are always confused and think that sometime he messed of done a really "douchy" thing and is now always trying to make up for it. Every time one of her friends comes back from hanging out with their S.

Neji vision, shortened to just "neji" we say it when ever we see an attractive female and the reason is because in the beggining when we would see a hit girl one of us would slyly point it out, and the other might say "you have eyes like neji". We liked to call him "the abusive stepfather".

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Basically the shortest explanation for this is my best friend and I are the best at typos when chatting on skype together Every typo ends up an inside joke at this point. The first part started when I accidentally typed "descripe the name" when I meant to say "describe the noise".

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I also said I would've "stabbled myself in the throught" over something, and that's also become a "thing" between us. The first time I saw a picture of my other best friend, it was a selfie she took that the phone automatically flipped I read her 3OH! I add it to almost every drawing I make for her now.

One guy was in the locker room when someone noticed he was taking a shower with his tightey whiteys on. It seems that he's insecure about his dong. Now anytime someone gets teased about fucking up something at work, they say "Well, at least I don't shower with my underwear on. The first time I gave a blowjob, I found the taste to be rather unpleasant. A few weeks later, my family took us kids I was a junior in high school. Not that creepy and our best friends to New England to visit family. It is also a Keith number because its digits appear as successive terms earlier in the series of Lucas numbers: Forty-seven is a strictly non-palindromic number.

Forty-seven is a Carol number. Forty-seven has been the favorite number of Pomona College , California , United States , since A mathematical proof , written in by Professor Donald Bentley , supposedly demonstrates that all numbers are equal to Bentley used the invalid proof to introduce his students to the concept of mathematical proofs.

Bentley chose forty-seven as the base side, but he could have used any number. Joe Menosky graduated from Pomona College in and went on to become one of the story writers of Star Trek: Menosky "infected" other Star Trek writers with an enthusiasm for the number Deep Space Nine , Star Trek: Voyager , and Star Trek: Enterprise , [10] [12] usually in the form of dialogue, on-screen labels, or computer screens. Abrams , who produced and directed Star Trek , frequently uses the number 47 in his productions, including episodes of his TV series Fringe.

In the Season 1 episode " Bad Dreams ", aired shortly before the release of Star Trek in theaters, Nick Lane's bulletin board features a large centrally-located sheet of paper with only the number 47 in huge typeface. It recurs in the series: Abrams continues to incorporate 47 into movies and series he produces and directs. Her husband asks, "Why are you so happy? A husband exclaims to his wife one day, "Your butt is getting really big. It's bigger than the BBQ grill! She answers, "Do you really think I'm going to fire up this big-ass grill for one little weenie?

A wife comes home late one night and quietly opens the door to her bedroom. From under the blanket, she sees four legs instead of just her husband's two. She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can. Once she's done, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink. As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine. He says, "Hi darling, your parents have come to visit us, so I let them stay in our bedroom.

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Did you say hello? Ralph is driving home one evening, when he suddenly realizes that it's his daughter's birthday and he hasn't bought her a present. He drives to the mall, runs to the toy store, and says to the shop assistant, "How much is that Barbie in the window?