A Loved Ones Destruction
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October 2018
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Allow yourself to feel because it is those feelings that will help you and your loved one to revive your mutual numbness. When a loved one is hurting from addiction and self-mutilation, he or she is not receiving any emotion particularly, love. You are right to ask and feel the reproach of those questions. How could they not see their worth? It should be about receiving.
The choice to harm yourself and thus, your loved ones, is a choice made by a numb, self-centered person. It may sound cold to say addiction is self-centered but it is.
When you are not receiving the love from others, it means you have no self-love. This blocks you from sharing yourself and caring that the ones you love know their value to you. Self- harm is an egotistical act that validates this person does not see his or her self as a living spirit. Instead, he or she feels like a ghost or a shadow of what they could or should have been. Therefore, receiving love from yourself and thus them is what should be your mission because being right and being happy can have their differences.
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People change like the chapters in a book. Post- rehab your loved one is not the old person you loved or hated. They are writing a new chapter, and you have to decide how you get your closure with that. Ultimately, closure is a personal, virtuous endeavor. More importantly, it is about congratulating yourself on your strength.
It takes an immense resilience to still love a person and be open to loving others when you feel disappointed and unappreciated. When a loved one is an addict or a self-mutilator, you can rightfully feel like that. Yet, to stand by them and yourself through this ordeal is a sign of perseverance.