Love is a Verb

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Love | Definition of Love by Merriam-Webster

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Love is a Verb

Viewing 8 posts - 1 through 8 of 8 total. April 3, at 6: April 4, at 9: Fifty one percent of all first marriages end in divorce Sixty six percent of all second marriages end in divorce. Ninety percent of all third marriages end in divorce.

The statistics cited were gathered from men and women aged 15 to 44 years of age the age range in which April 5, at 8: April 7, at 7: April 7, at 9: April 7, at April 7, at 2: April 7, at 6: We mistake giddiness for commitment. We run before we can experience anything meaningful. We think love is supposed to be simple, easy, and we so easily forget that real relationships require patience and work.

Loving someone is hard. Not the unconscious feeling. Not the way your heart seems to know, seems to belong with someone else.

Love Is a Verb

Not the way you smile without thinking, or kiss with the entirety of your body and soul. But the choice part, the deliberate part, the part that decides to move forward and continue to care about someone, no matter the obstacle or change or distance that may come between.

Love is choosing to push away temptation and focusing on who your person is and how the two of you can grow together. Love is walking away from people and things that hinder who you two have the potential to become. Love is movement—towards one another, even through the chaos of this life. Love is active—searching for ways to be closer, to understand, to meet halfway. To love is to do.

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And when the initial rush of feeling and certainty naturally wears off, as it always will, it's frightfully easy to doubt that your relationship is still a good one. If love isn't only a feeling, what is it?

Love Is a Verb

Once the honeymoon wears off, love is primarily a verb, and to love someone is an active experience. Love is making your partner a sandwich even when you don't "feel" like it. Love is recognizing that intimate, committed relationships are crucibles inside which both partners will be asked to grow emotionally and spiritually and learn about the barriers that prevent them from loving. Love kicks in for real when things get hard Love, for me, is when I don't feel very loving.

Not everyone -- including myself at times -- views marriage as the alchemy that it really can be in affording us the [opportunity for] wholeness.

My clients and e-course members often ask me, "If love isn't only a feeling, how do I know I love my partner? You probably don't always feel loving feelings for your mother or father or best friend, but you know you love them. Another way to approach the question is to look for evidence that you love your partner. When the heart-thumping, stomach-churning feeling is gone but you're still motivated to spend time with your partner, when something deeper than thoughts or feelings draws you to your partner like a magnetic pull sometimes strong, sometimes less strong , when you keep showing up in concrete, tangible ways for the relationship even when it's difficult, when there's an ease between you even when it's not always easy, this is real love.

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