Judo Verbal (French Edition)

Before even finishing the book, I had an opportunity one morning to put it into practice. A patient was agitated and nothing much seemed to get through to him. As the nurses were getting medication ready, I approached the man and started talking to him using some of the tools that Thompson outlines to cut through a verbal tirade and get him to be quiet and listen to me. I wasn't confident that it would work, although in the past I've been able to stumble through encounters like this and end up at a relatively positive outcome.

I was surprised however at how effectively Thompson's techniques worked to quiet the patient and quell the situation. My next goal is to try to apply these techniques to my interpersonal communication, where it's much more difficult to keep a professional attitude. Dec 29, Zach rated it did not like it Shelves: After reading some reviews I really wanted to love this book.

In fact, I immediatly marched out and purchased it as soon as I heard of it. As a professional working in the behavioral health field I was excited to get a text that utilized a practical rather than soley theoretical viewpoint. I found neither a practical "street smart" or empirically based material in this book. Perhaps 10 out of over pages actually covers any real skills or techniques. The rest is bravado, some honest self refl After reading some reviews I really wanted to love this book. The rest is bravado, some honest self reflection that doesn't seem like intentional teaching moments, and attempts to persuade the authors main market, police officers.

The stories about the hostage taker and the man who almost took his own life in a bath tub were horrifying. It was not horrifying because of the way he laid out the narrative. I was scared that he may have been so callous and misguided to speak to people in crisis the way he did. The idea of utilizing empathy as a springboard in crisis is sound. The problem is that this author doesn't explain or seem to understand what the concepts mean other than as buzzwords.

This could have been a memoir about a man's search for personal transformation and change, but that is as far is it goes. Sep 11, Jay rated it liked it Recommends it for: Thompson has worked as an English teacher, a police officer and a consultant. Communication is a major key in his life.

As a cop he had to figure out how to get people to comply with lawful directions without resorting to physically making them follow instructions. For example, "I stopped you for speeding sir. Please give me your driver's license, vehicle registration and proof of insurance.

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This book discusses things not to say, dead end arguments, talking yourself into a cor Dr. This book discusses things not to say, dead end arguments, talking yourself into a corner, and, how to get things done without creating an enemy and using force. This book and its concepts are taught to police officers and teachers. I was directed to read it through a UCLA course in teaching. It just might save you from a frustrating experience with a friend, loved one, co-worker, waittress, or complete stranger.

In complete stranger are another subject I guess. Jan 11, Leslie Lewis rated it it was ok. I guess I was expecting more. The whole book felt like a big promotion to take the guy's seminar. By page sixty, the author was still going on and on about how helpful the book was going to be without having given any helpful information.

The actual helpful bits are scattered around and have to be gleaned while plowing through a lot of bragging and peacocking behavior. A lot of what the guy tells you is common sense. Maybe if you are a very angry male who has no idea why his wife wants to divorc I guess I was expecting more. Maybe if you are a very angry male who has no idea why his wife wants to divorce him and his children think he's a jerk, then it could help. But, then again, there are a lot of people like that out there so maybe this book was meant for them.

Aug 16, Doug Haynes rated it did not like it Shelves: I read this because it was recommended by a friend because it had some good points. It does, however the good points could have been summed up in about 7 pages. Kind of a repetitive book, but definitely helpful in laying out strategies for dealing with difficult people -- I wish I'd read it earlier; it's already been useful in dealing with difficult library patrons. Jun 16, Lizz Minski rated it it was ok Shelves: Okay - the practices are sound.

The delivery leaves much to be desired. Aug 28, Kim rated it really liked it. The late George J. Thompson died trained in judo and aikido before becoming a police officer in his early 30s.

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In that career he noticed that some of the police he worked with seemed to have a natural talent for defusing conflicts and calming people under stress. It was something that didn't come naturally to him, so he began to analyze what those good communicators were doing and started seeing a similarity to between their verbal styles and Judo "the gentle way" and Aikido "unifying The late George J. It was something that didn't come naturally to him, so he began to analyze what those good communicators were doing and started seeing a similarity to between their verbal styles and Judo "the gentle way" and Aikido "unifying spirit way".

From that he developed five universal truths: All people want to be treated with dignity and respect. All people want to be asked rather than being told to do something. All people want to know why they are being asked to do something. All people want to be given options rather than threats. All people want a second chance when they make a mistake. Thompson took his verbal judo classes around the country to various police forces for training. He notes that he was scheduled to train police in Los Angeles the week after the Rodney King beating, and wonders whether that situation would have been handled differently.

In this book Thompson expands on the ideas for other areas of people's lives. He has chapters on parenting, managing, marriage, and other areas in which you need to make your feelings known, have priorities, and want to communicate with others without escalating conflict.

Verbal Judo: The Gentle Art of Persuasion

Rather it involves empathy. It's trying to understand what others are trying to communicate, making sure you understand, and then speaking back to those people in a way that honors their needs. Thompson uses interactions with his own son and wife.

He also offers plenty of examples of using it in life-or-death situation while he was a policeman to show that if the techniques will work there that they can work in areas where there's less at stake. It's written in a conversational style, with real world examples and tips for controlling your own emotions when you feel verbally attacked. With or without the book, the "five universal truths" should be on every office wall, teacher's desk, and home refrigerator as a regular reminder.

Oct 12, Miroku Nemeth rated it really liked it. Another recommendation from a fellow scholar of violence and, more importantly, avoiding violence. I'm currently working temporarily as a Military Policeman for the Marine Corps, and this thing called "verbal judo" is frequently mentioned, so I thought I would check out this book. Personally I have a bachelor's degree in criminal justice, a few classes in psychology, and I've read books about communication So did it offer anything insightful or unique? Well, the first warning sign was the whole "g I'm currently working temporarily as a Military Policeman for the Marine Corps, and this thing called "verbal judo" is frequently mentioned, so I thought I would check out this book.

Well, the first warning sign was the whole "guru" nature of the presentation, which I'm always leery about. I cringe when I see books that say things like "with my extensive training, you can trust that my advice will work for you. The actual first strike was this collection of sentences: If I get cut off in traffic, my first impulse is revenge. It makes me chuckle to realize how quickly I can shake a fist or a digit at another driver while on my way to the airport to fly somewhere and teach my course on proper responses to negative situations. D is supposed to make me bow before his authority on the subject of interpersonal communication?

The second strike was when he explained the difference between "Nice People, Difficult People, and Wimps. Alright, hold up - nothing in life is that simple. He explains about wimps: I say, 'Excuse me, what was that you said? Now he can either make a legitimate point, ask a question, or shut up. And if he shuts up he has lost credibility with his peers. If nothing else, that eliminates the sniping. Ignored or resisted, they grow stronger.

The basic principle here is to confront them honestly. I get it - you don't like people talking behind your back, publicly weakening your position.

As soon as you call them out, they get embarrassed, and they know they aren't going to win that fight. It's like when a drill instructor says something along the lines of "do any of you recruits have a problem with [X]? If you do, raise your hand. Nobody is raising their hands, so nobody must have a problem with it. Sometimes it's beneficial to be nice, difficult, or even a so-called "wimp. Sorry, let's move on I get it, but The final strike was simply chapter after chapter of acronyms and guru rules gurules? He even says, "you'll find I'm big on acronyms. I hate acronyms because they're counter-productive.

They are meant to help you remember, but when everything is an acronym, you no longer can tell what the acronym is supposed to stand for. Here's an example, from the Navy: Anyway, who ever legitimately enjoys when some guru gives you a new acronym or rule to memorize? Here are some of Mr. Thompson's rules and acronyms: All of this is made even worse by the unnecessarily verbose writing. That short bullet-point list I made up there would probably have been more useful than the actual book.

The actual substance is minimal, filled with boasts, explanations and stories. This book desperately needs an editor with a copy of "Strunk and White: Elements of Style" right next to the keyboard.

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Basically, "verbal judo" boils down to good use of interpersonal communication, things like empathy and paraphrasing so both parties understand each other. I think the popularity of this book boils down to this: Feb 01, Richard Haley rated it liked it. Aug 09, Brandon Barnes rated it liked it Shelves: Well, this was an experience. I grabbed this book off the Audible sale a few days ago. Right off the bat, I want to say that there were some excellent suggestions and tips.

I'm glad I read this book. This dude is basically an 80s movie cop that frequently quotes the Samurai 'masters' while being an expert in communications in the fields of law enforcement, teaching, parenting, sales, and a host of other things. Also, he saved several people life with his words. You can look it Well, this was an experience. You can look it up Wait, don't do that! Like I said, some good stuff, but there is a lot of BS and repetition and redundancy and saying the same thing.

Since the author is drawing from his work experience in the police force, the emphasis is on defusing a situation. This may not apply to most people in their daily interactions with people.

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There are some good suggestions on statements not to say you wouldn't understand, because those are the rules, it's none of your business, what do you want me to do about it, calm down, I'm not going to say this again, I'm doing this for your own good, and why don't you be reasonable. These statements put the listener off and never make the situation better. The author gives alternatives to all these statements let me try to explain this, the reason for this decision is Essentially, regardless of how the other person is behaving, treat the person with dignity and respect.

The goal is to move the conversation in a positive direction, not escalate it to anger and violence.

It's more important to be effective than to be right in a conversation. Nov 08, Veselin Nikolov rated it it was amazing. No matter how many books I read on the subject they never cease to amaze me. People are complicated, you and I are complicated too. Our instincts are primitive and we should not resort to them when crafting our responses. The book is short but dense. Took me awhile, I had to take breaks after each chapter.

Jun 15, Pam rated it it was amazing. I loved this book. There is nothing new; it is full of common sense, but it is written in a way that made me continuously reflect on my common responses as a middle school teacher, a family member, a human. It helped me make new goals, gave me concrete skills to implement, and will definitely be reread enough times that responses become natural, professional, and empathetic.

Apr 14, Jeshua Newman rated it it was amazing. This is a quick read - relatively easy to grasp, uses a lot of acronyms, details concrete concepts, and overall communicates the message with anecdotes instead of complicated data. These are all very practical concepts you can start applying right now! I recommend this book to anyone who works with people, especially to people who carry a gun to work. Jun 16, Michelle Polk rated it really liked it.

Excellent book on thinking before you speak! Feb 21, Virgilio Machado rated it it was amazing. Difficult to put into practice without some persistence and re-reading. A few good quotes. Thompson and Jerry B. Jenkins is an outstanding little book that everyone should read. Why do I say everyone? Because everyone communicates with others, and this book will help you become a more effective communicator. It really is that good.

The advice is simple, but profound and will enable the person who puts it to practice to listen better and be heard, learn what not to say, engage people through empathy, stop verbal attacks in their tracks, and much more. In fact, there is more practical advice in this one book than in some of my communication classes in college that I paid much more for. The book is pages long, and is divided into 27 short chapters. Its size is due to the fact that Thompson does not spend any time theorizing or describing complicated communication models, but rather provides simple direct methods for communicating with people, with concrete examples that can be adapted and used by anyone.

The lessons in this book have been honed on the streets by police officers, which Thompson is one, as they deal with some of the most unruly public. Thompson believes if the officers involved with the Rodney King incident had taken his course before that unfortunate event, things would have gone much differently. In a nutshell, Thompson teaches you to treat people with dignity and respect.

He teaches how to develop and maintain relationships rather than break them down and destroy them. The book shows you how to communicate with other effectively. This not only helps reduce conflict, but allows you to be influential with others, gain more from people, have better relationships, and generally be happier with all of your interactions with others. I read this book a long time ago, and just recently read it again for a refresher. I do, however, try to use these techniques and strategies in my dealings with people, and this book has influenced my mediation style as well as the teaching and training I do on mediation and effective communication.

This book will help you, regardless your occupation, sex, age, or whatever. If you communicate with others, read this book to do it better. Oct 01, Nathaniel rated it liked it Shelves: This book was an interesting blend of self-help and informal research. George Thompson is an interesting guy.

He was a high school English teacher, than a college professor, and then a beat cop. Obviously, going from English professor to cop is not your typical career move, and the entire book has that kind of unexpected juxtaposition of for example jumping back and forth between Greek philosophy and responding to domestic abuse calls. The main idea of the book was empathy: There were other interesting ideas, too, like "tactical civility", which basically means using civility as a means to accomplish what you need without letting your ego get in the way.

Putting your own ego in check was another big theme of the book. React to what they mean. If you begin to grasp this point, you can become a more effective communicator. I'm not sure how much help this book is really going to be to me because I already think that empathy is hugely important in communicating, but I definitely appreciated the attempt to pull together common themes from different realms--like dealing with crack addicts on the street to dealing with stubborn teenage children in your home maybe not so different after all?

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