How to Get Your Child to Listen to You

Stop what you are doing, turn to your child, make eye contact and listen to what they are saying. Often behind what your child is saying or even behind how they are acting, if not yet talking is a feeling. Identify the feeling and give it a name. To get your child to listen, think carefully about exactly how you communicate.

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Subtle differences in words, tone and body language may affect whether your child tunes in or out. When indicating limits, sound definite and confident. Ask once nicely, once firmly and then take action. If you typically repeat yourself several times before your take action, your child will learn to ignore your initial requests. An adult towering above a child can be intimidating.

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Use clear commands and keep requests brief and to the point. Limit yourself to a few important words e. Children love receiving notes. Praise all signs of cooperation with warmth and enthusiasm. Use a star chart to motivate your child for daily tasks such as getting up, brushing teeth, getting dressed.

Finally, use the involvement technique to encourage helpful behaviour through positive attention. Getting your children involved with chores and shopping trips can make all the difference to how much they and you! As seen on the Supernanny show, setting up a Family Routine may help your family use time more effectively. Would you love to have a helping hand with the housework?

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Check out our quick guide and get your These articles relate to the Giving birth to twins means entering a whole new world. But you may find your elation mixes with All parents - even ones who are no longer together - need to consistently work as a team for the Clinical Psychologist Dr Victoria Samuel has advice for parents who want to improve communication with their child Before you can expect your child to listen, you need to ensure you really listen to your child.

Remember that the rule applies to you too. Just as you're expecting your child to form a new habit of listening to you, it will also be a challenge for you to form a new habit in giving instructions. See steps 3 and 4 below. You'll also need to model the behavior you want to see by listening to them when they need you. It's a two way deal.

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Give your instruction in a firm, but warm tone. Don't reserve your most sarcastic, exasperated, shouty voice for your family. When you use a nice tone, you'll not only get better cooperation, but you'll feel better doing it. I used to put a sticky note up saying: Get into their space.

• 2. Avoid giving “never–ending consequences.”;
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If you're in the habit of barking orders from one room to another, this will be a new challenge for you, but worth the effort. Get them to look at you.

Have them repeat the request back to you. See it from your child's point of view. This is not a dictatorship where your child must always drop whatever they're doing the second you say it. Here's a little mantra I love by parenting expert Bonnie Harris:. It's hard to validate that your child feels it's just as important to finish his video game as you feel it's important he comes to eat the meal you've just prepared.

But imagine if you were in the middle of a great TV show and your husband suddenly burst in and ordered you to look at some tax papers NOW. Would you immediately switch it off and gleefully skip to the next room with him? Or would you feel annoyed and pissed off or try to worm your way out of it? So, knowing that dinner's nearly ready, give your child the heads up that in five minutes they'll need to come to the table. Don't shout this out from the kitchen.

Stop what you're doing and go to them. Make eye contact and tell them in person. If your child is engrossed in something, take a moment before giving your instruction to engage with them about what they're doing. Look at that red one! Now Jake, look at me for a minute. In five minutes your dinner is ready. You can press record on that if you want and then you need to wash your hands straight away and come to the table.

It feels like it will take a long time to stop what you're doing to go to your child, engage them, give the instruction and have it repeated back, but let's compare this to shouting the instruction from another room several times.

By the time he comes to the table you're peeved that you had to repeat and yell, he's upset that he had to stop watching his show and now everyone's in a bad mood. He may act out during his meal and then you have yet another battle on your hands.

By taking just a minute to give the instruction politely, in person, you'll both feel happier and more relaxed. Remember new habits take time. If you or your child slip up, take a deep breath, see it as a mistake, be forgiving -- then try, try again!

How to Get Kids to Listen Without Yelling

Whenever I'm complimented on how well my boys listen to me, I smile. It isn't always easy and we still have our moments, but I wouldn't go back to the way things were for anything. Creator of Project Me, helping mothers get on top of their endless to-do's, set goals and find a happier balance. News Politics Entertainment Communities. Opinion HuffPost Personal Videos.