The Emotional Freedom Workbook: Take Control of Your Life And Experience Emotional Strength

You bury your childhood traumas, your fears, and your emotional insecurities. Said Tony Robbins, "You always get out of life exactly what you tolerate. As a result, you've settle for a live far beneath your potential. Human-beings have an embedded fight-or-flight reaction to threat. For most of human history, we were exposed to physical threats constantly. However, now that our physical environment is quite safe, our threats have shifted from external to internal.

Now, rather than worrying about being killed by a tiger, you're worried about your self-esteem. You're worried about what people think about you. You're worried about not being good enough.

2) Face Your Fears

You're worried about offending other people. You're worried about failing. When your body is healthy, you don't think about it much. It just is, functioning properly. But you spend a large portion of your waking hours concerned about your emotional well-being, always trying to ensure you feel good. What does that say about your emotional health? When a problem arises, rather than burying it deeper, youmend it.

You get over it. You let it go, so that it doesn't have to plague your future. But that's not how most people deal with emotional problems. Rather than fixing them, they construct the most bizarre relationships and life to protect themselves from facing their fears or traumas. The first step in living a life of freedom is to realize that you are not your fears.

You experience your fears. Similarly, you are not your thoughts. You are aware of your thoughts.

The Emotional Freedom Workbook: Take Control of Your Life And Experience Emotional Strength

You are not even your body. Rather, you are the being inside experiencing and operating your body. Herein lies why most people build their lives around their fears. They have over-attached themselves to a particular self-concept. The truth is much more simple: You are the observer of the inner and outer world around you. You determine where you place your awareness, what psychologists call selective attention.

You pay-attention to thoughts, feelings, and things that matter to you. What you focus on, expands. Your awareness of things makes them real to you. Rather than watching a movie, you've become lost in thoughts and memories. You are not the thoughts or feelings you're experiencing. The very fact that these emotions are rising-up is a signal you have an unresolved internal conflict. Rather than burying these emotions deeper, see them for what they are: These feelings are not you.

They are something you've experienced. Don't hide from them. Don't distract yourself from them. Observe and experience them fully. Forgive yourself or the event. This will likely be uncomfortable. You bury these feelings because they are unpleasant and painful. The Matrix is the box you've built around yourself to avoid reality.

Said Tim Grover in his book, Relentless , "Don't think. You already know what you have to do, and you know how to do it.

10 Ways to Boost Your Emotional Resilience, Backed by Research | Time

The only way out of the Matrix is to confront reality. When we avoid scary things we become more scared. When you face your fears they become less frightening. To extinguish a fear-conditioned memory, one must be exposed to the fear-inducing stimulus in a safe environment, and this exposure needs to last long enough for the brain to form a new memory which conveys that the fear-conditioned stimulus is no longer dangerous in the present environment.

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Brain imaging findings suggest that extinction may involve a strengthening of the capacity of the PFC to inhibit amygdala-based fear responses Phelps et al. Several approaches to treating anxiety disorders such as PTSD and phobias have been shown to be effective in promoting extinction. In essence, these therapies encourage the patient to confront the fear and anxiety head on.

In addition to viewing fear as a helpful warning and guide, medic and SF instructor Mark Hickey believes that fear is good because it keeps him on his toes and serves as a platform for developing courage, self-esteem, and a sense of mastery. The emotionally resilient people that Southwick and Charney studied all had a strong sense of right and wrong. Despite being in situations that could threaten their lives, they always thought about others, not just themselves.

In our interviews, we found that many resilient individuals possessed a keen sense of right and wrong that strengthened them during periods of extreme stress and afterward, as they adjusted to life following trauma. What does the system teach? Amad found religious belief among survivors to be the single most powerful force in explaining the tragedy and in explaining survival. Much of the strength from religious activity comes from being a part of a community. For example, the relationship between resilience and religion may partly be explained by the social quality of religious attendance.

To learn what the survivors of deadly situations all have in common, click here.

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How did he maintain his resolve? By tapping on the wall of his cell. His fellow prisoners could hear it, and they would tap back. During his eight years in North Vietnamese prisons, Shumaker used his wits and creativity to help develop an ingenious method of communication, known as the Tap Code, which provided a critical lifeline that allowed scores of prisoners to connect with one another.

Our brains need social support to function optimally. Connection with others releases oxytocin which calms your mind and reduces stress.

To learn how Special Forces soldiers overcome adversity, click here. When you study kids who grow up in impoverished circumstances but go on to live productive, healthy lives, what do you find? One of the first psychologists to study resilience, Emmy Werner, followed the lives of children who were raised in impoverished homes with an alcoholic, abusive, or mentally ill parent. Our research has found a similar pattern: Although we generally think of role models as providing positive examples to admire and emulate, in some cases a particular person may stand out in the opposite way — embodying traits we emphatically do not want to have.

We can think of such a person as a negative role model.

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Where else can we find strength? Again and again, Southwick and Charney saw that the most resilient people had good exercise habits that kept their bodies as well as their minds strong. Many of the resilient individuals we interviewed have a regular habit of exercise and believe that staying fit has helped them, both during their traumatic ordeals and during their recovery. In fact, some of them credit physical exercise with saving their lives. Resilient people are very often lifelong learners.

They keep growing their mind, learning to learn, and adapting to new information about the world. In our experience, resilient people tend to be lifelong learners, continually seeking opportunities to become more mentally fit. Learning developed these psychosocial qualities through extending boundaries, a process which is quintessential to learning.

To learn the four rituals neuroscience says will make you happy, click here. All of us have one way we typically cope with difficulty, but what sets extremely resilient people apart is they use a number of ways to deal with stressful situations. People who are resilient tend to be flexible — flexible in the way they think about challenges and flexible in the way they react emotionally to stress.