Open Hands: Lessons on Giving and Receiving

Many of us instinctively resist receiving because we sense the power dynamics involved, which reduce the receiver to the weaker position. Harvard professor Ellen J. Langer puts such power dynamics to good use: When they receive them, it can make the children feel confident and good about themselves. Such dynamics might be acceptable in relationships of love and trust, as between parents and children, but they can make us uneasy in other contexts. A friend of mine, Jennifer Crenshaw, worked at an advertising firm in California for five years before she was laid off.

She chose not to receive unemployment because of the stigma of having to take government assistance. She had grown up in an upper middle class family in New England with strong Puritan roots. This is true in Western cultures, especially in the U. Where does the guilt come from? And if there is no deserving, then it means that some things, at least, are simply free. Another reason behind our resistance to receiving comes from our fear that when we receive, we limit what goes to others.

Based in Sacramento, California, she writes books and leads workshops around the world.

She explains that among the Dagara, life is infused with spirit. When we receive deeply we are receiving not just from an individual but from spirit itself. There is no price in receiving. We just need to turn towards spirit with an attitude of service. So, we can feel grateful, but there is no reason to feel guilty. But for greatest intimacy, consider making it your habit to always say yes. Doyle recognizes that reacting defensively to what is offered is often part of an isolating control dynamic that serves no one.

Then we can open to receiving.

Open Hands, Open Heart: The Art of Receiving

Whereas most social scientists focus on the empowerment of the giver in relationships, Doyle speaks to the more hidden power of receiving: Some adds an important dimension to the purpose of receiving: It empowers our contribution to the world. Being seen, loved, and appreciated are just a few of the gifts that one can receive in relationships. When I told Langer about the scarf my mother sent to me, her response was as gravelly as her voice: Alternative explanations are always possible.

If you look for them, you can find almost anything. Standing on the airport sidewalk at night, others coming and going with the security of purpose, I felt terrified and alone. Feeling the deep and essentially affirming gratitude that came with this gift taught me an important lesson: We have the power to impact each other through kindness. Receiving his help altered forever how I understood and felt about community, society, and our responsibilities to help each other.

It took Alison, a marketing manager at a publishing company in San Francisco, a bout with breast cancer to overcome some of the discomfort of asking for and receiving help, and then to learn how to give. So I had to ask for help from my friends to get through surgery and treatment.

Open Hands - Lessons on Giving and Receiving (Electronic book text)

I had never had to ask for help from people at this level before and it was very uncomfortable. It was something about the attention being on me and also about the fear of being disappointed. By not asking, there was no risk of disappointment. This experience made me think about all the times I had not helped my friends, thinking they would ask for help if they really needed it. But the truth is, it is very hard to ask and receive. And I learned that we have to look out for each other. The Wisdom of Grief, Fear, and Despair , believes that receiving is necessary for an enriching life, even when what we receive is painful.

So we close down. Greenspan understands the transformative potential of being open to difficult experiences. Her first child was born with a brain injury and died after 66 days. Her third child was born with complex physical and cognitive disabilities. From fully experiencing despair we go on a journey for new meaning, and find a more resilient faith in life. When we befriend our fear, we discover the joy of living fully.

Open Hands - Lessons on Giving and Receiving (Hardcover)

Psychological health depends on receiving, and so does physical health, according to Mary Saunders, who has been a practitioner of Chinese medicine for over 20 years. Saunders founded the low-cost Community Acupuncture Clinic in Boulder, Colorado, where her clients include executives, athletes, housewives, and students. Heaven has to do with the masculine qualities of giving, expressing, and achieving. Earth has to do with the feminine qualities of receiving, waiting, and silence. Through examples, students will learn that one can give a compliment about something physical e.

When students enter elementary school, they are exposed to many interpersonal interactions that they may not have experienced before. As they become engaged in this new social dynamic, it is important that all children learn the appropriate ways to show respect and affection toward their classmates and teachers. This standard aligns with the expectation that students will develop positive values that they can practice both inside and outside of school.

Through read-alouds, students can pay close attention to key messages in the text and can practice using their prediction-making skills to aid in comprehension. Students will observe and practice the appropriate way to give and receive a compliment. Have You Filled a Bucket Today?: Have students come to the rug and sit in their assigned spots. Accept predictions from students. Ask students to give one or two examples from the story They might list the following examples: Tell students that a compliment is saying something good about someone.

Tell students that some examples of compliments are telling someone that you like the shirt they are wearing, telling the class that they did a good job being quiet while in the hallway, or telling someone that you thought their story during writing workshop was very creative.

Open Hands: Lessons on Giving and Receiving

Tell the students that you are going to practice giving compliments to one another. Invite the students to stand up and form a circle on the rug. Take out a ball, tell students that you are going to give a compliment to someone and then throw the ball to them. When you give someone a compliment, say their name nice and loud, look them in the eye, and then the pass the ball to that person. When you receive a compliment, you should say thank you.

Should I throw it hard at someone? Give students minutes to practice giving complements to one another.

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2. The Viscounts Pleasure House (Irresistible Aristocrats Book 1);
3. Chattels (Conviction Series Book 1).

Try to get every student to give at least one compliment, and then have the last student toss the ball back to you. Thank students for their kind compliments and send the students back to their assigned seats at their tables. Because buckets usually hold water, we will fill our bucket with raindrops. When our bucket is full with raindrops, we will know that we have said and done kind things for one another.

Explain that if they do not want to write anything in the space, they can just say their compliment to their friend. Tell students that every day when the class comes in from recess, they will have a few minutes to write a compliment for a fellow student.