Go North, Young Lady: Reflections on Letting Go of the Past and Moving Forward

Like it or not, life has chapters. Divorce is the end of one important chapter, and potentially the beginning of another. However, the new chapter can only start when divorcees reach a point where they are ready to 'turn the page' and explore what their new life can become. Divorce can thus trigger profound personal growth, new experiences and new attachments, or, alternatively, stagnation.

It is also possible for both of these outcomes to be present at the same time.

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Whether someone flowers or stagnates emotionally post-divorce will depend on many factors, including the resiliency of their personality and mindset, the health of their support systems, and on whether they are successfully able to resolve ties that bind them in unhealthy ways to the now-defunct marriage. Unresolved feelings of guilt and anger can become traps, as can feelings of victimization and resentment towards the ex-spouse. People sometimes feel that they can't let go of the past until 'justice' has been done.

The thing is, however, that the world is a messy, often unfair place, and obtaining justice is sometimes more trouble than it is worth. It is sometimes more practical to let go rather than to remain embroiled. Working via therapy, friends, journaling, etc. Also, forcing one's self to participate in events, outings and clubs can help break the grip of the past by forcing attention into the present moment.

In the final analysis, "living well" may be good revenge, but an even better outcome is to reach a place where revenge is not desired because one has moved on. Moving on generally begins in fits and starts early in the divorce, in between episodes of grief or other crisis-related emotion and tends to reach full flower only as the divorce process winds down. Its occurrence is a sign that healing and resolution are occurring, and its absence is a sign that grief and related emotions continue. Moving on involves becoming open to new experiences, new relationships, and new ways of thinking about one's self.

The process is inherently proactive, rather than reactive; it involves becoming willing to actively explore options rather than to passively react. While it isn't necessarily a good idea to attempt to force one's self to move on at least in the first year , there are ways to cultivate its occurrence. For those seeking addiction treatment for themselves or a loved one, the MentalHelp. Our helpline is offered at no cost to you and with no obligation to enter into treatment. You can train your mind to properly address any external forces in this moment and find peace. Because the majority of negative thoughts concern either the past or the future.

Worrying about the future requires thinking about the future, and if you bring yourself into complete awareness of the present moment, your worrying will melt away. You've likely had the experience of sitting in a meeting only to realize all of a sudden that you have no idea what has been discussed for the last 15 minutes. You zoned out, your mind was somewhere else, and you have just come back to a state of awareness. These autopilot moments occur when you are so lost in your thoughts that you aren't aware of the world around you. This results in life passing you by. The best way to avoid these blackouts is to engage with the world around you.

Your engagement with the present moment will start a cascade of other benefits. Once you get used to something, you probably start doing it mindlessly. For example, your morning commute is probably done each day in a haze because you have taken the same route hundreds of times before. However, if you engage with the world around you, you will realize that almost everything is different every time you take the drive. You will see new people and new patterns of light, and even feel new sensations along the way.

Noticing these things allows you to live in the moment and recognize that the world around you is constantly changing. Positive words are a powerful tool. They can change how you feel about your day as soon as you wake up, and improve your vision of you.

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This is why many people rely on happiness and confidence affirmations to improve their outlooks on life. Affirmations are short phrases that you can repeat to yourself throughout the day.

If you repeat them on a regular basis, an affirmation can alter the negative feelings that you have stored in your subconscious mind. Affirmations can replace harmful sentiments, such as anxiety and doubt, with feelings of strength and confidence. Writing down your emotions in a journal is one step toward self-discovery. It will allow you to make sense out of your complex life and organize your feelings.

By writing down your emotions, you will be able to face some significant turning points in your life and resolve traumas that are prohibiting you from moving on. This activity allows you to look at the past and find the inspiration that you need to move forward.

Emotional journal writing is an effective tool to reduce stress. It will give you the opportunity to freely express yourself and gain a sense of relief. Once you make journal writing into a habit, you will be able to grow mentally and emotionally. This involves recognizing the outcome that you want and then visualizing it happening over and over with all of your senses. What do you see, smell, and hear? What do you feel? Imagine yourself at the final stages of your goal and do what you have to do to get to that place. This will help you see what you have done in the past that has led to success, and build upon it for the future.

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The benefits of taking the time to notice and focus on the positive things in your life are nearly endless. People who are able to practice gratitude on a regular basis have been shown to feel more alive, have more kindness towards other people, sleep better, and even have stronger immune systems.

Gratitude can be expressed for something as innocuous as a delicious piece of cake or a really nice walk. If you can write brief reflections on moments for which you are thankful, you can significantly increase your well-being and satisfaction with life. No matter how indulgent " self-care activities " may sound, it is crucial to your overall well-being.

You should consciously take good care of yourself to maintain a healthy sense of self-esteem and produce positive feelings to boost your confidence. While a little bit of stress can be a healthy motivation to meet deadlines or finish a task, chronic stress can adversely affect your mental and physical health. Positive habits such as healthy eating, exercising, or connecting with loved ones can decrease the toxic effects of stress by boosting your mood and increasing your energy and level of confidence.

The methods of doing this may be different for everybody. While going for a great run might boost your mood, it may not be the right ticket for someone else. The key is to figure out what it is that boosts your mood, and keep that activity in mind whenever you need a pick-me-up. Some popular things that people do aside from exercising include listening to music, listening to inspirational speakers or podcasts, appreciating the things around you, and acting out how you want to feel.

Having the support of other people will always help you achieve your goal of letting something go. Talk to others who may be able to relate to your situation or show empathy for your feelings. Seek out support from trusted friends or professionals to help you get through the darker points in life. There are important things to be learned from the art of being able to let things go. Letting things go is the first step to relinquishing unhealthy attachments to people, events, and irritations.

The present moment is the best time to make a conscious decision to release negative influences and enjoy life as it unfolds in front of you. This will help you learn and practice mindfulness to help reduce stress and anxiety in your life. Replace your negative thoughts with positive actions of self-care to help you grow and walk away from negative situations. The hardest part of this process is moving out of your comfort zone and proceeding with something that is new and unfamiliar.

True and valuable wisdom comes along with accepting the present, letting go of the past, and having faith in the future. Have you let go of your past? Do you still have past events holding you back? Do you know feel you know how to let go. Have you tried to let go of the past and failed? Have you learned something about letting go?

Do you have something to teach about how to let things go? Please share your thoughts, knowledge, experience and comments about letting go of the past in the comments blocks below. The things you say may help others learn how to let things go. If you enjoyed this post on letting go, please share some of the letting go quotes on this page, or the page itself on your favorite social media platform.

Help others who need to learn about letting go of the past find this post. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Let's look at an common example of someone who has a problem letting go. You need to let the previous part of your life go to fully enjoy the next stage. Let's look at an example of what I mean: But doesn't the past teach us lessons? Our mistakes do teach us important lessons.

But once the lessons are learned, these teachable moments can begin to hold us back. Relying fully on past experiences prevents you from experiencing anything new. Create an environment to tell the story of your negative emotion in order to satisfy your need to be listened to and understood.

Letting Go: How to Let Go of the Past and Live in the Present Moment

Identify your negative emotions and the things you tell yourself that keep you stuck to those emotions. Acknowledging your emotions can help you move on. This can be an essential step in letting go. Evaluate these emotions and their impact. Discover your positive motivation for letting go of negative or painful emotions. Take responsibility for your own happiness. Your emotional state depends on how you interpret events, not what actually happened. Evaluate your ability and willingness to let go. Create a new positive experience that will replace the negative one.

Face your Negative Emotions. Feel your sadness or anger. Don't hide how you feel. Mindfulness includes a recognition that nothing that other people do is because of you. Replace negative thoughts with positive action. The most courageous thing you can ever do is to love yourself unconditionally. Loving yourself allows you to be free from judgment. Write a letter and burn it. This can be a very powerful cathartic healing tool. Make sure that you write this letter to the person as if you are talking directly to them.

It will improve your relationship with them, even if you have no contact with them. Use Crayola Window Crayons to write your worries on tiles or windows and wash them off. Use a Buddha Board to release bad feelings. Think about what you want to achieve in life. Try focusing on one goal at a time and break it into smaller steps. Having something to work towards will help you move forward. When you feel overwhelmed by change don't give up; Take a break instead. Engage in activities that are comforting and allow you to recharge.

Focus on what you enjoy and try to determine if there is a way to make it a bigger part of your life. Like hanging out with adventurous people? Find a community kitchen or cooking class. Instead of focusing on what you can't do, focus on what you can do. This will help you feel like you are making progress. If you feel stuck, confused and overwhelmed, take a short, brisk walk. The excercise and fresh air will do you good.

You might be able to think more clearly afterwards. Self doubt can get in the way. Just remember you have what it takes to get through hard times and succeed. Here is a quick yoga sequence to pump yourself up!

Every Loss is a Partial Loss of Who You Are

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