Saint Benny Strikes Again

Jack responds with his trademark "Well!! Don gave him a gold watch that's practically an invitation to muggers. Don caves in, as usual. Jack offers Don some eggnog, and he too declines with earnest. Phil arrives, in a good mood. Jack offers Phil some eggnog. He accepts with earnest, but even Phil has some problems with the stuff. Dennis sings "While We're Young". Jack has to leave for his date with Helene Francois, making this the world's shortest party. Dennis agrees to accompany Jack, with Mary as his date. Helene speaks very little English.

The head waiter turns out to be Frank Nelson, naturally. He leads them to a table. They run into and keep running into the obligatory funny drunk Mel looking for his wife. Jesse Block not played by himself this time is MCing the night's festivities. He warms up the crowd with a joke that turns out to be about Jack. Dennis and Mary dance a number. Dennis proposes to Mary, but she begs time to think it over. Jack and Helene dance. They run across the funny drunk, still looking for his wife. A quartet gets up to sing, and naturally it's the Sportsmen, singing a Lucky Strike themed version of an unidentified tune.

Back at the table, Jack and Helene order, Helene in French. The funny drunk comes by again, and, since it's Mel, he's funny despite having few good lines. Jesse announces that a famous celebrity is in attendance. Jack is embarrassed until it turns out that Jesse isn't talking about Jack, he's talking about Rodney Dangerfield. Dangerfield, a rootin' tootin' Western type comes onstage with his horse, and inadvertently sprays Jack a few times. A patron asks Rodney to autograph her menu, which he does by firing a shot through it.

Jack starts to walk out in disgust, when Jesse announces that there's another celebrity in attendance, and calls on Jack. Jack comes onstage to say a few self-important words. Mel Blanc, Frank Nelson, L. But Jack has invited the gang over today for his annual pre-New Year's celebration.

So, let's go out to Jack's home in Beverly Hills, where we find Rochester preparing for their arrival. As the program opens, Rochester is singing his own version of Jack's song. Rochester, it should be noted, has two modes of singing. When he's trying to sing well, he's not too bad. When he's trying to sing bad, he's scratchy and screechy, and sings notes hitherto unknown to musical science.

This time he's trying to sing bad. Just to give you an idea, even Jack doesn't want to hear his own song this time. Some day I've got to collect all of these and put together a Rochester album. The problem is that he rarely sings a song in its entirety. Did you make it? I wonder how anyone would ever think of mixing eggs and bourbon. By the way, Rochester, how much eggnog did you make?

You're having five guests and I figure if there's a little left over I can always take it to a party I'm going to tomorrow night. How much did you make? Gladys Zybysko is a swell girl. She may not be the most beautiful girl in the world, but she's got a nice figure. She's nearsighted, and she anticipates the curb in the middle of the block.

Who made that eggnog? This time is spent waiting for something TO shave. According to Dennis, it takes him three months to get a five o'clock shadow. Dennis claims to have telephoned from the extension in the next room. Unless Jack has two phone lines, how is this possible? As everyone knows, if you dial your own number, you get a busy signal. And if he does have two lines, wouldn't Dennis have said that he called from "the other line", rather than from "the extension"?

That's for… wait a minute. Say, that's one of my favorite… wait a minute.

I've got a date. Oats are cheaper than orchids. Oh Harris, you may not be Montgomery Clift, but you found your place in the sun! Now you're talkin', bub, that's my… Hey, wait a minute. Uh… hey, tell me, Roch. How do you make this eggnog? Well, here's down the hatch. Phil, how do you like it??

Rochester, pour me a ticket! That line, "Are you sure that egg was fresh" was one of the show's all-time greatest payoff lines. You know, for all the talk, this is one of the few times Phil ever actually drank something alcoholic during an episode. Usually he just talks about drinking. I'll think about it. Why not go out tomorrow night? That's New Year's Eve. Benny's room, wake him up, he blows a horn, falls back on the pillow, and that's it. Boy, are they jammed together. I wondered why they didn't have their pants on.

This sounds like another of those semi-blue jokes that the writers had to wrestle with the censors to get into the script. This one is okay but not really worth the effort. Exchanges like the following look like they came right out of a Jaffee book: This is Jesse Block, your Master of Ceremonies for the evening.

But while the orchestra is setting up, I've got a little joke for you. You know, this is a pretty ritzy place. And last night I saw a waiter carrying something on a flaming sword. So I asked him what it was, and he said 'a customer, he only left a dime tip'! I was here when the Fire Department came in and squirted water on you. The real Jesse Block appeared on the Benny show once each in and In this episode, the part of Jesse Block is played by Herb Vigran. At one point he drags it out with a long enough pause between the Hap and the Py that Jack and Mary get half a line in.

This is a variation on the Anaheim, Azusa and Cuc… amonga joke. The cowboy Rodney Dangerfield in this episode is not Jacob Rodney Cohen, aka Jack Roy, the standup comedian who went by the name of Rodney Dangerfield, made movies like "Back to School", and bemoaned his lack of respect.

This Rodney Dangerfield now, follow me on this is a fictional character that the "real" Rodney Dangerfield stole the name from. The Benny character, who also received little or no respect from the outside world, served as a great inspiration to Dangerfield while he was developing his own comedy character. The "Biography" program also tells of the time Benny visited Dangerfield backstage after one of his performances.

During this visit Benny complimented him on developing such a wonderful comedy character and style. However, Jack Roy remained Dangerfield's legal name, as he mentioned in several interviews. The program was transcribed recorded in advance on December 19, Often, two of Jack's writers would write the first half of the program and the other two would do the second half. I don't know who did what here. But the first half of the program is great. The party banter is good, and the Running Eggnog joke is great.

The second half of the program meanders quite a bit in search of something or other that it never finds. Mel and Frank are good, as always, if a bit unoriginal. But the action doesn't really go anywhere. Helene Francois is just there, with nothing to do but speak French gibberish she might be saying something funny, but who knows? Everything else feels like it's a buildup to something that doesn't happen. Dangerfield comes on stage, but nothing happens apart from Jack getting slobbered by the horse a few times.

They set up this business with Dennis proposing to Mary, but nothing comes of that either. It's not bad, just kind of lost. But it's Stanford's coach who gets the callout on the show, so who really won here? Jack tells how he got in to see the game without tickets to make a long story short, he snuck into the stadium in drag, and now has a date with the Stanford Center. Phil arrives, but was too hung over on New Year's Day to have enjoyed the game. Jack complains that Bagby, Remley and Fletcher are missing. Learning that they're in jail, Jack offers the money to bail them out.

Phil calls the Sheriff, but finds that he still has credit in his own bail fund. Mary arrives, and announces that Dennis has a crush on her after dancing with her last week. Dennis arrives, and say hello to everyone except Mary to avoid making it obvious. Jack asks Mary to see "Death of a Salesman" with him, but she already saw it with Dennis.

Dennis offers to go with Jack, thinking that maybe this time he'll get to see the picture nudge, nudge. As Jack introduces this week's play, "Suspense", the phone rings with the obligatory call from Rochester. Rochester says he spoke with Cliff Gordon, a hometown friend who was born the same day as Jack, and that Jack's Maxwell has been returned from the Rose Parade. Jack introduces the Play again, and it begins: Jack is Aristotle Fink, a bank teller.

Around the breakfast table, Jack has a talk with his son, Philip. Philip wants to be an orchestra leader today he doesn't want to study music, just lead an orchestra. When the kids go to school, Jack sings a song! Actually, this whole scene is padding and has little or nothing to do with the rest of the play. Jack goes to the bank. Jack calls all his kids and he seems to have a dozen or so, including ones named after Mary's brother Hilliard, and script girl Jeanette Eymann. Jack passes the bill around to the kids, but somewhere in the passing, it goes missing, and he is unable to find it.

Next day, Jack is called into the Bank President's office. When he confesses to taking the bill, a Police Inspector Dennis enters to arrest him. At the end, Jack is in his cell, awaiting execution, and tells a really awful pun figuring, no doubt, that they can only execute him once. Mel Blanc, Joe Kearns, L.

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And now we bring you a man who could use one of those scalps, Jack Benny! Let me repeat that: That's not an empty claim. Verified by leading laboratory consultants. For example, Foster D. Snell, of New York City, who reports: We conclude that Lucky Strike is the best made of the five major brands. Hello again, this is Jack Benny talking, and Don, you can stop vibrating, because that was the worst toupee joke I ever heard. Not only that, it was in very bad taste. I talked to Chuck Taylor right before the game.

He's 31 years old, and he definitely has his own hair. But when Illinois scored their fuch… their first touchdown, his hair started to go. By the end of the third period, it was piling up on the ground, and all through that fourth quarter, it just laid there and turned grey. The rambling discussion about how Jack got into the game is reminiscent of the Corporal Peterson joke from the season opener, in which he almost met several Generals, but was distracted by the prospect of almost meeting a different one, and only actually met Corporal Peterson.

In this version, Jack almost gets into the game several different ways, but finally got in through the courtesy of Nancy Thorne, the Queen of the Rose Parade, by sneaking through in drag as one of her princesses. And Don, weren't you disappointed when you weren't picked as the winning float? Your Hoodlum Section is missing! Now, hold it, Jackson. I don't think it's very nice the way you go on week after week insulting those three boys.

They may not be college graduates, but they come from good families, they're sensitive, refined, and perfect gentlemen. And it's your fault that they're not here today. Here he comes now. The previous probably qualifies as Dennis' Routine for the week. It's better than what we had written there, I know that. Benny, I want to congratulate you. Why Rochester, he's one of my best friends. We grew up together. How did he sound? The stories usually involved an ordinary person dropped into a threatening or bizarre situation. Musical stingers were played when the word "Suspense" was uttered, which Jack makes good use of in his version.

People trapped in a cave-in might discover that that they'd gotten turned around and that it was the way deeper into the cave that was sealed, not the way out. Or two people trapped in an elevator with the cable about to break would have forgotten that it was only a one story building It was the head office of an elevator company, which made installing a lift to the basement cheaper than a stairway, you see.

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Fink Jack's character in this play , there was a chess player at that time of the same name, who won the California State Championship four times, and played in the US Championship in Only the chess playing Fink's first name was 'Adolf'. Can you imagine the ribbing he had to take, playing during World War II? Did you prepare something nice for lunch? Two chicken sandwiches, an apple, a banana, and your thermos bottle is filled with milk.

This is a sketch!! Jack sings very rarely, but this time he does an entire number on his own, "I Wish I Was a Swinging Vine", with the Sportsmen singing backup. It's not bad, but completely out of place in the play. A man came to my window. A man who was destined to change my life story from a peaceful one to a tale well calculated to keep you in…" musical stinger Jack: I looked at it for a moment.

Would you like it changed into thousand dollar bills, hundreds, fifties, twenties, tens or fives? In the play, Jack has a family moment Mary: Must you always go around with your pants dragging? I don't have a belt or anything to keep them up with. To hear you talk, a person would think I don't make enough money to keep you in suspenders. That last line was a tie-in to the running joke of Phil's boys being in the clink. You're going to the clink! Put down that knife! Don't come near me with that knife!

Benny Goodman

I haven't done anything! And I'm gonna stab you too! But the sound man is still sore at me on account of the lousy Christmas present I gave him. In a few hours, Frederick walks his last mile to the electric chair. A picture well calculated to keep you in… Suspense! Slightly above average episode. The play is overly padded, but not bad, and a pretty decent parody of the Suspense show. It's better and more lucid than most of Jack's plays. Jack is at home, just finishing up breakfast made by Rochester, laid by Polly. Jack calls Dinah Shore to ask her to record his song.

Rimshot, but only if you remember the song "I've Been Working on the Railroad". Dinah doesn't seem too enthusiastic about the honor Jack wants to give her. Jack talks to her husband, George Montgomery, and this goes badly. Not only does Jack not get Dinah's singing services, he loses George as a laundry customer.

Mary arrives with a love letter Dennis sent her, and so reads a letter from someone besides Momma for a change. Rochester suggests asking Mario Lanza to sing the song. Jack calls Mario but gets into an argument with him too. Jack resolves not to go to the party Lanza is throwing that he wasn't invited to anyway.

Dennis arrives mad, and does his routine. Jack asks Dennis to sing his song on the show next week, but Dennis is out the door too quickly. Jack and Mary leave together. Mary needs to go shirt shopping and Jack needs a haircut. On the way, they meet Mr. Kitzel has just had drops put in his eyes and doesn't recognize either of them.

He mistakes Mary for Dennis, so apparently he had drops put in his ears too. Kitzel sees all the colors the wrong way, and so mistakes bananas, hot dogs and cucumbers for each other less funny than it sounds. At the store, Mary tries to buy a shirt for Poppa. Jack encounters the Racetrack Tout, but as he is not in the process of making a decision, they have nothing to talk about, and so pass in the night metaphorically speaking, as it's actually daytime. Jack goes for his haircut. Passing a clothing counter, he decides to get a new belt.

The Tout reappears and tries to talk Jack into buying suspenders. Drucker talks to the other barbers to see who will wait on Jack, but none of them want to. Mel eventually agrees to take Jack. Drucker has just hired a Barbershop Quartet that sounds suspiciously like the Sportsmen Quartet. They sing "Down by the Old Mill Stream", which probably had references to cigarettes in it before it was edited for re-broadcast. Mel gives Jack his haircut. Jack now wants a manicure.

Drucker goes to the manicurists, but none of them want to wait on Jack either. Bea Benaderet is eventually drafted to wait on Jack. After the manicure, Jack wants a shoe shine. Drucker goes to the shoe shine boys, but none of them want to wait on Jack either. Mary returns, so Jack eschews the shine Ya get it?? Oh Harris, you may not have told that joke, but you should have, you dog!!! Mel reveals to the others his secret for getting a decent tip out of Jack. It's morning, and Jack has just finished his breakfast. Paste it together again! To keep an eye on him, Dennis has been spying on Jack through his window in the morning, and offers unflattering comments about his attempts to get into his girdle, et cetera.

Oh, for heaven's sakes. Just wanted to know what you were doin'? Suspenders always come up from behind and finish in front. Take my word for it. Suspenders will never let you down. Would you like to look at suspenders? Benny wants a haircut, will you take him? Who waited on him last time?

But my hands were full so he said he'd slip it in my pocket. When I added up my money, I was a dime short. Benny would like a manicure, will you take him? We've got to be fair about this. Who took care of him last time. For a 75 cent manicure, I had to sit there and polish 20 nails. Then he gave me a tip and cried all the way home.

Racial humor as such, was strongly curtailed after World War II, as Jack considered that Hitler's racial theories made the whole subject less funny. Anyone who has read my 's notes knows that even before the war, there was never anything terribly bad. There were a few dopey jokes about Rochester eating chicken, or watermelon, but nothing with any animosity behind it. Such as Rochester carrying a razor in his shoe I attributed it to his inner city upbringing, rather than race , shooting craps apparently, this was a stereotype once , and love of gin Ditto; I had thought that Rochester's gin was a good counter to Phil's bourbon, and that the whole cast needed a favorite drink.

Dennis' would have been either milk or a Shirley Temple. This stuff is complicated. In any case, after the war, most overt and even not-so-overt racial references fell by the wayside, and the character of Rochester's friend Roy was introduced. It's difficult not to see Roy as being, at least partially, an attempt to create a kind of role model character.

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Roy's character has no black stereotypes, or any other kind of stereotypes, either. He's polite, articulate, principled, and impeccably well mannered. Roy is not only normal, he's so normal that he's almost out of place in The World of Benny, where most characters are defined in terms of their flaws vanity, avarice, drunkenness, sarcastic, foolish, overweight, et cetera.

The only other character like Roy is the completely colorless pun not intended Larry Stevens, who filled in for Dennis for the two years he was in the Navy. Roy is a much better character than Larry though, as they found one interesting character trait to hang on him, namely, his curiosity about what Jack is like in real life. The joke at the end is that even after making a conscious effort to eliminate racial humor from the show and clean up their act and Jack Benny trying to clean up his act is like Mother Theresa trying to clean up hers , they can still uncork a line like "I'll get a boy" a line which was not offensive at the time, but which would have modern audiences reacting the same way that 's audiences did to the first showings of 'King Kong' , and end up offending people just the same.

And throughout all of this, Mr. Kitzel, the one character who is defined primarily in terms of his ethnicity, made the cut. Benny says he wants a shoe shine, will you take him? Who was the last one to shine Mr. You do it, Danny. I ain't got nothing against shining Mr. Benny's shoes, but it's murder getting around those pearl buttons.

Danny sounds a heckuva lot like Rochester's friend Roy. Did I see right? Benny give you a dollar tip? Spin that old man around in a chair three times ad he don't know what he's doin'! Armed Forces rebroadcasts are modified from the originals. They usually have an announcement of some kind at the end, and tend to have all product plugs removed. The Sportsmen's Song is noticeably clipped, to have the Lucky Strike verse removed. Since cigarette ads were outlawed in the late 's, these episodes couldn't be broadcast in their original form any more.

The World of Benny works in strange and contradictory ways. In some episodes, Jack is the normal one, surrounded by a world of loons. In episodes like this, everyone else is normal, and trying desperately to cope with Jack's eccentricities. Good execution, but these theme episodes where the theme is "Everybody Hates Jack Benny" can become a little grating after a while.

Jack's just not THAT bad a guy, that the whole world should hate him. Jack is insistent that, after the recent rainstorms, they avoid 'Rain in California' jokes. Jack chews her out for being late and for missing rehearsal. She makes up a story, which Jack doesn't buy, but Warner Brothers does. In actuality, Mary was late because her radiator froze. Don tells her she should have filled her radiator with alcohol, which brings Phil into the discussion.

Phil tells how Remley cried on an auto trip, when Phil put six quarts of alcohol into his own radiator. Apparently, Remley also spent the next 10 miles with his mouth over the exhaust pipe. Dennis arrives, and also has a bank robbery story. This would almost qualify is his routine if Mary hadn't set it up first.

Jack compliments Dennis and the band, which leads to a discussion of Fletcher the Trombone Player's latest brush with the law. The parking lot attendant Mel arrives to talk to Phil about his car and the guy who has his lips around the exhaust pipe. Jack calls George to see if he's left his house yet. Mabel and Gertrude fail to find George, but succeed in entertaining us for a few minutes. Rochester calls to describe what the rain and mud have done to Jack's house while he was in Palm Springs. Apparently, the porch went down with the Flying Enterprise. George arrives, raring to sing.

He and Jack discuss their friendship, to give Phil's boys time to get the handcuffs off Fletcher. George launches into Jack's song with relish maybe even with a little pickle in the middle and the mustard on top. Despite a few introductions, George actually gets the whole song out, and provides us with perhaps the definitive version of Jack's song. But since we can't bring you that hero, we bring you a man who spent two days in a leaky canoe on Hollywood and Vine, Jack Benny!

A modern audience probably doesn't know the story of Kurt Carlsen and the "Flying Enterprise", so a little explanation is in order. The 'Flying Enterprise' was a freighter. In January , it was caught in a storm. Pig Iron bars in the hold broke loose, shifted and nearly capsized the ship. Not quite, but the ship suffered structural damage and was crippled. They evacuated all of the crew except for Captain Carlsen and first mate Kenneth Dancy, who is mentioned in the Lauber book, but doesn't get a callout on the Benny Show , who stayed aboard so that they could try to tow it into port.

It took almost a week just to get the ship into tow. After a day or so of towing, the ship went down anyway, and the Captain finally abandoned ship at the last possible moment. It's a heroic story, but not much of a mystery that it should be included in a book called "Famous Mysteries of the Sea". The mystery part is almost a footnote to the story. Apparently there was a secret salvage operation carried out later on to try to recover something very important on the ship.

Nobody is quite sure what it was, but rumors range from gold to zirconium for the USS Nautilus. Wikipedia confirms pretty much everything I read in the Lauber book, and adds that a Danish expedition found the ship in , and that it later made it onto the History Channel's show "Deep Sea Detectives". So, a happy ending after all. This is another edited for later broadcast episode, with the product endorsements removed. It hasn't been cold. Don, Jane Russell has been wearing a sweater just to keep warm! Why, you weren't even here for rehearsal. I left the house in plenty of time.

It wasn't my fault that the bank was held up. I stopped for a traffic light in Harlen, when two men with handkerchiefs over their faces, jumped into my car. They stuck a gun in my ribs, and said 'Get going, sister! Did you make that story up? Every time I'm late, you bawl me out, so I thought I'd make up an excuse.

That's the worst story I ever heard. How you expected anyone to believe such a far-fetched fantastic story, I'll never… phone rings Don: It's for you, Mary. Oh no, you'll have to do better than that. I left my house in plenty of time. They were making a new picture for Warner Brothers. Dennis, come here a minute, will you? Ladies and gentlemen, I really didn't hit Dennis. What you heard was done by the sound man. The Saint , created by Leslie Charteris. The Saint film novelization Capture the Saint The Blue Dulac The Saint: The Brazilian Connection The Saint: Wrong Number The Saint: The Software Murders The Saint: The Big Bang The Saint Daredevil Teal's first appearance S.

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Retrieved from " https: Views Read Edit View history. This page was last edited on 6 October , at By using this site, you agree to the Terms of Use and Privacy Policy. Neil Hamilton as Allan Breck. Barry Fitzgerald as Zipper Dyson. Robert Elliott as Chief Inspector Webster. Russell Hopton as Harry Donnell.

Edward Gargan as Pinky Budd. Robert Strange as Police Commissioner. Gilbert Emery as Martin Eastman. James Burke as Secretary. Nella Walker as Mrs. Burns as Organ Grinder. Willie Best as Algernon. Homans as Moriarity, Cop. Tristram Coffin as Radio Announcer.