Spirit: A True Life Tale Of A Grieving Sibling

And we are okay, then suddenly I became depressed for a reason Im still trying to find out, and started affecting our relationship. I became a workaholic and I started to notice him drinking too much, sitting all day in the chair watching movies, irritable and some changes in the way he treats me- one day he is sweet after that hes not. Three weeks ago I decided to back away and a find my own place, which he helped me moved.

This is to keep me healthy and need time to think. I know deeply that this decision made him worst, which I regret!!! Then he did it, he has no choice but to end his pain and suffering, I was picturing him that night or day when he did that probably he wants to take it back. Probably he was just playing with the gun and doesnt really want to end his life? What if he is calling me and reaching out his hands to me and I was not there?

For sure he is!!! I am sure he is. Theres more that adds to my pain, I know hes family is blaming me for his death. Last Sunday, a detective phone me up, asking me to have some statements about how our relationship was. I came there right away by myself and then I find myself being accused if I did this to him? If I assisted him in doing this?

Harassed me and accusing of lying, they wanted me to admit that I was in our house when he did it, which I was not. They searched my phone and downloaded everything, they looked my shoes maybe looking for stains of blood- I was helpless that time and let them do what they wanted to me. That is now my pain and I know the truth, I dont trust them! I wish I was there the moment I he did it, because if Im there….

Im not writing this. I wish I was there to say to him that Im choosing him and he needs to survive and choose to live a life with me. I am scared and I wish to write everything here about whats going right now with me and his family but Id rather not cause I know they are grieving too. Im thinking of going back home in my country but theres something telling me to stay after the police incident. I wont let injustice happen to me. For those who are in reading this, I wrote this for you.

We got mad if those dont satisfy our curious minds and longing souls. But because of our flawed nature we Forget. The Answer is within us. The Meaning is within us. The purpose is within us. The cure is within us. Hi— I was very touched by your story and the emotions you are feeling. I wish I could reach across somehow and give you a big hug and hold you. I wish I could show you how much you are loved. There are so many reasons to give in and let the darkness take over. With love we see the light and are made whole. I suffer greatly too.

Would you please do me the honor of speaking to me personally and sharing your feelings and compassion with me? You are a very gifted person. My Dad died in He wanted to stay at home with home health but my elderly mother was breaking down mentally. She could not understand what was happening to Dad. When I found out, I did not fight her because my mother was such a mess I was afraid she would hurt my father if he went home immediately.

Within a week Dad was so incapacitated he was released to hospice care. He died in a matter of days. The guilt is overwhelming. In one of his clearer moments before his being put in the facility Dad found the words to beg me to help him. I thought I had set things up so he could stay home, but my mother had him committed when I was at work.

I think over and over again what I should have done differently. My faith in the world evaporated in the blink of an eye. I appreciate having a place to tell my story. God knows we need to tell them. He was shot by the yr-old schizophrenic son of a close friend. My ex had his own issues with schizophrenia but he worked through it and was better—getting back to being the guy I married and not the one who started to abuse me verbally, emotionally, not physically and divorced me so many years later.

I knew he was sick. I had wanted to stick around and help him get better. He was a good kid.

Grieving the Death of a Sibling

This is all so fresh. I feel so bad for my daughters, my ex in-laws, and the family of the other victim, who are dear friends. Thank you so much for this article. I lost my Mother in March She had been sick for 30 years from several strokes, and the last 15 years she lived in a nursing home sitting in a wheelchair paralysed. I loved her so much and did everything I could to make her life a little easier through the years. The last night her breathing was very fast for several hours.

I rang the nurse who gave her morphine and sedatives. After 30 minutes I rang again, her breathing freaked me out and I was so afraid, thinking she was in pain. I asked the nurse if she could have some more.. The nurse said yes and when she came with that second injection I saw my Mom trying to show me she did not want it. I ignored this thinking the nurse knew best. My Mom died 2 hours later, by that time I had gone to bed and a girl from the nursing home was sitting with my Mother. I feel a trenendous guilt and wake up everyday with the feeling that I killed the one person I loved the most: So, since everyone else is sharing their stories, I might as well give mine.

Early this year, I was just released from the psychiatric hospital. I went to bed happy to be back home. The next morning, I woke up to hear a conversation and sobbing. However, I had to get up eventually. I was informed that my brother, the most important human to me, had committed suicide. Months later, I cry every night, I would rather be dead. Thank you for reading this…. I also lost my brother to suicide on 14th September There are groups out there that can help you to cope. I found Sobs and Cruse particularly helpful.

Last April 15, black saturday my mom died in a road accident. It happened that their car bumped with another vehicle that made a commotion with the two parties. But it had nothing to do since my aunt and my youngest brother was still in the place. It was so hard to cope with what happened because it always comes in my mind that i must done something.

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Then, last August 31, , two days after my birthday, my dad died due to his terminal stage of prostate cancer. We had our bond before he died by means of helping me with my school works and researches. His friend told me that he has a surprise plan for my birthday, however, it didnt happened because he was already ill and we have to spend it in the hospital until he died.

I really miss them so much that i always cry everynight and when im alone, thinking of how can i deal with it? Its just a matter of 4 months? What if they are still here? They must be here. It was so hard because sadness really hits me specially when im alone. However, im just being positive that God has a reason for what happened and He will dont let us in this situation if we cant deal with it. I have to move on for the sake of my siblings. I lost my sister on suddenly while visiting her. And now I lost my niece , her only daughter , like a daughter to me on 0ctober 28, She had turned to drugs and developed endocarditis last year.

She had a valve replacement back in Oct, This Oct she was back in hospital with the same infection. She was receiving antibiotics. And then had a massive brain bleed… I flew again to be with her. She was paralyzed on her right side. But still could commicate with me by turning her left leg. I had hope for her still but then she had stroke after stroke and I had to make the hardest decision ever.

She was only 22 years old…. I miss her Terribly.. I wish I could of saved her. It has been 20 days since my son took his life , he had turned 18 just 11 days before he died, I drove to the scene it is all still to painful to describe, my baby boy took not only his life, but I died that day to. I lost my brother to suicide this year. Every day is hard but look for small ways each day was better than the day before. It has kept me going through some incredibly dark times. This is a lot to read and process.

Traumatic to day the least. Thank you for this as I see the double struggle with trauma and grief. I myself lost my father 5 years ago in an unexplainable drowning accident. My 7 year old sister at the time was rescued as were the other two who fell in but my Dad was sucked under in a vortex to not be found for 3 more days, the day before my birthday. I was his first born and we had a bond like no other. After the trauma of his death it took me a full year to not cry every single day. It took me over 3 to be able to look at his picture again.

A trauma like this is hard to explain and have people understand what you are going through. Its taken me a very long time for the sting of it all to fade. This is my situation: Many therapist claim they are jacks of all trades so therefore masters of none? My feeling is that they would lie about knowing about traumatic grief.

I saw a social worker a few times and participated in some child-loss groups a few times.

A note about trauma:

I feel tired and not very optimistic that things will ever really change. My beautiful son took his life on at the age of What will haunt me until I die is that his roommate heard a thump and went in to check. My son was on the floor dying. His roommate took my son in his arms while calling He says my son died in his arms.

I feel the thump was my son changing his mind and trying to get help while falling off the bed. It breaks my heart continuosly. He was 10 months 16 days old and died last August 31st, He was pronounced dead one min after I entered the hospital. I had to tell him over the phone that out baby had died and I held my son as he went from warm to cold in my arms by myself. His family and him had blamed me for the first few months after his death. I spent the first Thanksgiving and Christmas alone at his grave.

My husband is still just not dealing with his death and already moving forward but having episodes of recklessness and arrests. He has recently been arrested again and I must send him a traveling for business hoping that being back to the road will bring him back instead of not being able to find work in our small town.

I am not ready to let go. I loss my 3 yr old son in He was ran over accidentally by my step-dad. I still have days when the hurt and pain of losing him hit me so hard, I feel paralyzed.. He was with my mom and stepdad at the time so I only know what I was told.. THAT is what bothers me the most.. I just wish everyday we would of seen this coming. A friend, it is so easy to go back and rethink every moment, wishing we had done things differently.

We have posts on suicide , guilt , hindsight bias , regret , and self-forgiveness that may be a place to start. Please take care and we hope you find some support on our site. She called me the day before, I was busy.. Emailed that I would call her the next day. I never got the chance. He did cpr until paramedics got there. They worked on her another 40 minutes to no avail. She was my best friend, my sister.

I feel like a cannon has blown me apart. I cry every single day and the physical pain is unbearable. Katrin, I will be praying for you. I also lost the man I love 2 months ago through suicide. I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my husband to suicide 6 years ago. Thank you so much for this article! My grief is still so raw like it happened yesterday. I would love to find more info on dealing with traumatic death because I for one do feel like no one understands it.

And society should stop telling me to get over it. Two of them were his sergeants. He liked both of them really well but he seems closest to the one who was his direct Sgt: Ferguson was commander of the other unit making up the platoon. That somehow made it more personal to me even though I never met Bill in life. I was 3 when he died. These are the photos of his two Sergeants.

He has those too. It turned Dick Cheney and company into idiots. I have no ability to feel sorry for the two terrorist suspects who had evidence gathered against them before they were tortured and have shown no remorse for a single thing they did. Even other Muslim people I know think they did something wrong. The only people who seem to disagree are those who would be a 10L on the scale of How Liberal to How Conservative are you? That exists on Crowd Pac.

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My 6 year old daughter Makayla Joy Sitton was murdered along with 4 other relatives in our house Thanksgiving night Here is a brief look into my journey of sorrow. I began writing to relieve my brain of heartache. My ramblings and poems can be found in the photo captions. Grief shared is grief diminished. Joy shared is doubled. My prayer is this album will encourage others in their time of mourning. Here is a video from Americas Most Wanted when they were looking for the murderer- https: My husband had surgery on one leg when Dr. They decided to do next surgery the next day.

But early the next morning before they came to get him, he had fallen out of bed. His ear turned black on left side of his head. They ordered a cat scan and took him to surgary. When surgary was done. Informed the surgary went well but he now has a brain bleed. Next came coma around 20 min.



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After coming in to recovery. Ten days later I had to make the of taking him off the respirator. I went and said my good bye and talked to him and less then 15 min. I have guilt that if I had just taken him home from the first surgary. I could have saved him and taken him back the next day. Has been great but I have been given a special Dr. But I will be making sure it is a grief Dr. I have so much gilt over it. Thank you for this thoughtful article. It is so accurate for me, especially the rumination, the social isolation, the feelings of guilt, being responsible, blaming myself — the whole thing.

Less than 2 years ago my 24 year old son died of a heroin overdose. She is trained in Complicate Grief Therapy. My son Michael was killed on April 16, He died in an explosion at his job. He had only been working there for 3 month. Michael got up that morning went to work and never came home, he was only Everyday of my life I play over in my mind his last day. I miss him so much and I am so heart broken. Like many here, I know that to be a fact…I buried my She was killed in a car crash. In an effort to understand and manage my grief, I analyzed and wrote about what I and those around me experienced.

The book is separated into 3 lifetimes: I also blog as often as I can. If you think it will help you, my website is http: Thank you for this article. I lost my 21 month old son on February 5, Almost 1 year ago. He was struck and run over by a truck in front of me. We have dealt with the media and being blamed by other people.

We fortunately found a great counselor who walked with us through PTSD diagnosis and grief. Thank you for this post. Thoughts are with everyone that has commented. My husband died at 37 in a motorbike accident a little more than 2 years ago leaving behind our girls who were 8 and 11 and me. At the time of his accident he was 16 months in remission having been diagnosed with Lymphoma. I had just started working my way through the life changes that brought and was starting to accept that he was actually in remission and that it was ok to breathe again when he died.

I share my ongoing journey through my blog https: In my brother in law took his own life. Brooke was now an orphan. She became another daughter to me instead of simply a niece. Another 7 years later and Brooke delivered her baby boy the day after her 21st birthday on August 20, She was only 22 weeks pregnant. Maddox lived for 4 weeks. We lost our beautiful Brooke on Christmas night. My heart breaks for you Katrina. Sending you love across the miles. My son was murdered last month. Myself, my husband and daughters all feel as though we are going crazy.

Denial has protected us but when denial slips away, reality slams us. This horror should never have happened. Normal is not normal anymore because my sweet boy is gone. We can check off every thing on that list. Veronica My son also was recently murdered, I am not sure how to even begin to go forward in life, if possible can you contact me?

He had been in intense chemotherapy treatment, and the doctors were so hopeful. Shane portrays every person that has lost someone really close to them and the struggle to move on with life. As a combat veteran, I can relate. An awesome emotion filled book! Salinger, Richard Bradford and John Knowles are among America's better known authors who've penned some of America's better known coming-of-age novels. I would like to add the name Roger Carrier to that list. As long as there are teenagers, these kinds of stories will never go out of style.

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Free Shipping All orders of Don't have an account? Not as a mother nor as a aunt. Being the exceptionally religious person I was this has made me question everything. What in the hell was this? Could I have done anything differenr to avoid, both the deaths. But I cannot seem to find any asnwer. My only question to God is that the both one them do to deserve this?

What did we as a family do to deserve to loose not one but two of our children? Hi Hiroko Your story is overwhelming! Please check this novel you find a part when a friend of the main character commit suicide. My baby sister, just passed away on July 19th. I am still in total shock, she was my best friend in the world. She had been diagnosed with leukemia in and had beat it. It came back this year and came back while she was still on chemo. She fought so hard, but her heart gave out on her. I feel so lost and keep telling myself this is some god awful dream. I can only hope the pain becomes more bearable as time goes on.

I know deep down it wont. Hi Nikki, Sorry for the loss of your sister. I lost my cousin to cancer too. There is nothing I can tell you to lessen the pain. But if you allow it , it will subside with time. His death was very unexpected I remember getting a That phone call like it was yesterday. When I was told that my brother died of a drowning my life Stopped.

I was on the phone with my sister-in-law this big beautiful red cardinal staring at me in the face. I knew it was brother my brother never liked to leave me alone. We always talked on the phone three times a week it feels weird not being able to talk to him. Everyone tells me I should think of the good times I had with him. I have some resources for central Mass. My daughter lost her 18 month old brother when she was almost 5. As her mom, it is so hard to watch her struggle with her emotions. Hello my name is arin. I just lost my 11 year old son this past March 2 He was my bestfriend.

I miss him so much. He was killed in a horrible way. I lost my twin brother a few months ago, no answers no known anything and I am his twin sister and he died a month after our 20th bday. I dont know what to do or how to describe what I am feeling. I lost my twin brother in January, He had a heart attack and was gone before he got to a hospital. It has blown up my life. He was the only one I knew loved me and was my rock, my safe port in the storm. We were 61 when he passed. Love and miss you so much Billy. I cant even fathom the rest of my life without my baby brother and if this feeling in my chest and stomach is ever gonna go away..

He was young, only 24 and strong and just an all around good hearted young man.. We knew he would fight thru it as he did every obstacle he had not only in his everyday life but ever battle or issue he fought thru in the ICU.. We knew he would fight for his kids.. All 5 of them, 2 his biological and 3 who he stepped in and took over that father, and financial role and never thought twice about it.. I miss him so much.. I was the oldest of my sisters and having a brother was something we all wanted.

I remember having to be the strong for my sisters, helping my parents as best a 16 year old could, but all the while, keeping my grief to my self. For years, when asked how many siblings I have I would say two sisters, but I now say two sisters and one brother who passed. Your blog is always a great source of comfort and I find myself quoting things I have read here. Keep up the great work.

My older brother was killed in a bike accident a few weeks ago. He was hit by a lady, who was drunk, on the 8th of June and was pronounced brain dead on the 12th, just two days after my birthday. It was just the two of us. I just turned He was my back up. I would do anything for him and would follow him anywhere.

I am not coping very well, I miss him so so much. I cry every day and it is just really tough. I feel like there is something missing all the time. I lost my two years older brother many years ago when he was in his mid 20s. He was a few years out of the Air Force and was killed in a single car accident that may or may not have been suicide because no one can figure out why he crashed. He was my only sibling and for many years, the closest person in my life. Our father had been divorced from my mother since I was two and he started a life with another woman and never tried to get in contact with us again.

My brother and I only had each other by the time I was 7 or 8 because our mother effectively turned over the responsibility of taking care of me to him by then. He was the one who would cook dinner for us, help me with my homework, walk me to school, read to me, etc. He was the only person who was paying attention to me. I was bullied at school until my brother almost got expelled for hitting the kids who were doing that until they left me alone. In short, he was the only person I felt actually cared about me, so he was my entire world for a long time.

Unfortunately, this led to us getting too close and we started doing sexual things together. I was mostly doing it to make him happy because he wanted it. In fact, it was the other way around. I made friends and spent more time with them. As I got older, I saw him more as pathetic than anything else. I had a couple of boyfriends and was sexually active with them when I was 15, which I think is why he would occasionally try to get me to do stuff with him about once or twice a year, but I refused. After he graduated from high school, he did a year at community college and worked part-time before our mother said he needed to move out because his grades were not good.

So he enlisted in the Air Force before I graduated from high school. I saw him perhaps four times before he died after that. He was cremated and his ashes were scattered. I now sometimes wish he had been buried instead so I could have a grave to visit. I was quietly sad that he died for a long time. I had a boyfriend who had a son from a previous relationship and he reminded me of my brother in many ways. He was quiet, responsible and withdrawn.

He had few if any friends and seemed starved for affection, but shied away if someone tried to get close to him. Eventually, his father and I broke up and I never heard from him again. But it brought all these feelings I had about my brother to the surface. I just think he was lonely and depressed. I think he felt I was the only person who would love him.

Our calls last less than five minutes and we primarily email each other if something comes up and send amazon. Anyway, I miss my brother. I miss him reading to me. I miss him holding me on the bed or couch and snuggling. I even sometimes acknowledge that I occasionally miss the erotic feeling of his smooth, bare flesh on mine and him kissing and sucking my breasts to make them grow. I wish he was alive and married with kids I could spoil. Thank you for the article and to everyone who has shared their stories of losing a sibling. Sibling loss really is very different than any other.

Our siblings are our first teachers of real-world relationships with others, and those sibling relationships are complex and fraught. My sister Karen died December , leaving behind 2 young adult sons, 2 stepsons, and a step-grandson. She loved them all so much. Her husband, though, is one of the worst people I have ever met — abusive, vulgar, a psychopath — and it breaks my heart that she had him in her life. Karen was the only person I have ever met that fully accepted and loved anyone and everyone she ever knew or met. I will never have such a generous heart. She had a difficult life because of the abusive psychopathic husband, always having to move as he lost jobs and fell out with neighbors.

But she had a brilliant sense of humor and could make fun and laugh in any and every situation, no matter how desperate it seemed. We used to text during early AM mornings when neither of us could sleep. After she passed away, about 3 months, her eldest son committed a horrible crime, a murder. She also would have stood by him and defended him to the end. I have tried to replace her but of course I cannot.

I despise the crime and my heart breaks for the family who lost a beloved daughter and sister themselves. For no reason other than selfish desire, drug use, and the fog of his own grief. After my sister Karen passed away and her son was jailed for murder, stories and facts started coming out of things my sister had hidden from us. Another possible murder he may have committed that she may have covered up.

It is so conflicting to love someone so much and also be so furious at them and the decisions they have made. But right before she died, she opened her eyes and looked at me. Such unbelievable love came across her face. It was as if I was looking into the face of Jesus. There was no longer pain nor fear nor sadness nor stress. Pure love came through her face and eyes and it was a look that I had never seen on her face in 50some years. That was her gift to me and I am so thankful.

Because now for 2. I am so sorry to all of you who have lost a loved sister or brother and hope that you have such a moment to remember, somewhere in your time with them, as a cornerstone to hold your love, when things get hard and you feel so alone. My brother died at the age of I was 11 when she was born, and I fed her and rocked her, and read her stories.

She was a nurse and was going to work in the hospital there. A stupid turn onto the highway, at a level intersection that has since been turned into a proper interchange. The night before she left she called me and said she was feeling nervous about going. I always felt cheated because although we were close when she was small, I had left home by the time she was in high school.

So it was my youngest brother who was closer to her then. And when she graduated from nursing she shared an apartment with our other brother for a couple of years. So he knew her as an adult. I never got the chance to know her well as an adult. Now that I have children, I miss the chance to share that with my sister, like my mom and my aunts when we were growing up.

I lost my big brother in the day before my 16th birthday. I have several other siblings but the two of us were always close. He was my best friend, the only person I could tell everything to. I would give anything to hear his voice or see his smile. Everyone seems to have moved on with their lives except for me. I lost my baby brother on January 1st he was only 30 years old he was the youngest of six, he died in a car accident hitting a telephone pole, I miss him and think about him everyday of my life and will forever, I know now what the feeling of having a broken heart feels like.

I just want my baby brown eyes brother back. My little brother Emilio had just turned 21 , he was so excited about his new job he just wanted to make more money so that he could spoil my son, his only nephew. Emilio left work on April 21st and was hit and killed by train while walking home. I was the person who had to decide whether Emilio was going to have an open or closed casket. I lost my younger brother Feb. He was only 46! I sat with him every day during his last week in hospice. There are 3 sisters left…we re all riddled with grief, along with our parents. One of our pack is gone…Mothers day was horrible, I dread Fathers Day…grief is so hard to explain, you just feel it.

I do get random reminders from him.. It brings me a sense of peace, but also episodes of sobbing. My personality is dimmed, I cant find myself really laughing anymore and I feel constantly annoyed or irritated over little things. I feel like I need to give myself a few days in solitude to remember him, cry as long as I want and not have to answer to anyone here.

I also feel a sense of detachment from something, not my family, but from life itself. I worry about my parents dying soon, they are not the same either. We let his ashes go last weekend at the beach as a family,that was heart wrenching, but he loved the ocean and the beach,so we feel like we set him free…and can visit as often as we wish.

Losing my brother has been life altering….. I hope he is watching me right now…. I was lucky to have him by my side for 46 years, for that I am blessed. Just want to say Thank You so very much to everyone who wrote about their loss. I too have lost a baby sister August 16, She was pronounced with esophageal stomach cancer when she was Just watching her slowly die was just devastating. I never want to lay witness to seeing another one pass from cancer again. A blessing to know that I am not alone in trying to cope with my grief.

Thank you all so very much and God Bless each and everyone one. I just lost my last sibling May 2nd, He died at on hospice care in my home after being diagnosed Feb 20th of this year with Stage 4 Lung Cancer, metastatic to his bones. He was 59, I am I am grateful that I was able to be there for him, and we worked things through, got to say I love you, I forgive you, I am sorry, and please forgive me to each other. But, I would rather he be alive and hate me, then be dead. Well, mom, I am now officially the last one. We, my siblings have died in birth order.

My brother Jim May 25th, Memorial Day at 55 suddenly, we found him dead on his apartment floor, from complications of diabetes, a heart attack. He had a good life despite being in a wheelchair. Got around in his van, was out the night before. I cancelled that day. Would it have made a difference? Would I have been there when he had his heart attack?

My only sister died July 3rd, at 54 in her sleep. Sudden unexplained death in an Epileptic. She had a very minor seizure disorder. She lived in another state. I begged the paramedics to do CPR, get her on life support solely for organ donation purposes. She was very healthy and wanted to be an organ donor, they refused. It seems her husband waited a half hour after she died before calling He died alone in Feb He had a heart condition, Wolf Parkinson White Syndrome…sudden cardiac arrest.

My sister had taken care of him and saved his life many times. So here I am. Wondering when my day to die is. By the way I am helping to raise my nephews stepsons. Their mom, his wife Julie died May 19th, after a 5 year battle with cancer. I took care of her while she as on hospice. I realize I am fortunate, that life can always be worse. I appreciate this opportunity to tell my story, act totally my siblings stories.

Rest in perfect Peace Gerry on your 1 month anniversary. I love you all, miss you like crazy. I watch for them. I hope you have found your way to deal with the grief now and have the support you need. I lost my older sister on Jan 25 I begged her to not leave me alone. She was my person whom I was the closest to. We told each oher everything. She was my best friend. We went through divorces and having kids and raising them.

I had cancer and struggled to survive for 5 years. She simply fell apart afraid I was going to die. I am left alone with parents in thier eightys and 2 brothers that I love but am not close to as I was with her. I am not doing well at all. We were suppose to live together as older women. MY sister was 56 and I am My sister cancer was not caught when It shoud have been. Her Doctor really dropped the ball. She came and lived with me for about 7 or 8 months until she died.

Now I have no peace at home all I see is her, hear her voice , hear our laughter, hear our tears, and miss her to the point of wondering what I am here for. I dont want to think of a future without her. I feel so lost and alone. I am told this is grief. I am sure it is. My life has changed in a way that I cant even descibe to anyone. I go to work, church, see friends and family and put a smile on my face and act ok. Inside I am very far from ok sometimes I can barely breath from my missing her so badly.

I do cry all the time. I just want my sister. I lost my mom Jan My older brother feb and my younger brother may My grief is beyond anything any article I can read. I miss them like hell was the closest I could find. We all got together June of for moms memorial. We were going to get together in June for dads. Then the older died and now last month my younger. I have no one…. I lost my Sister on May 8, She died suddenly and unexpectedly of leukemia.

She was diagnosed in May 7, It was too late and the cancer was very aggressive. Losing her has changed me. She was an amazing Sister and person. I hope one day the pain of losing her eases. I love you Stacey!! Please, if there is anyone out there reading this that can relate to me…My sister was killed February 19, supposedly hung herself with a bedsheet , was brought to Tomball, TX Regional Medical Center until February 21, when she died, while on life support. She worked out twice a day.

Christina was devastated to find out that her friends did this and that they left their children behind. She started all over after leaving Dan , the father of her first daughter, Paris, now 23 years old. Paris was 4 years old. But, in the house in the front of the street, not a trailer. That lasted a few months until my mother and Chris got into an argument about curfew and shit, and Christina and Paris moved in with me in my trailer a few doors away from my parents.

I had just kicked Jimmy out a day earlier. They dated for a few years then got married in Chris was on the pill. Got divorced in He gave me his current number and address as of She just kept on keeping on! Hurricane Katrina happened and Chris had just gone through a divorce or was still going through one and she met Zeid Amarri. They truly loved each other. They were together for over 5 years. Chris was on the pill and she wanted to be married the next time she had a child.

Zeid and his family are from the country of Jordan and have a strong faith in Christianity. They do not believe in this. Chris decided she could no longer spend her days with Zeid knowing she could never marry him. His family wanted him to have a wife and children and Christina was not going to be a part of that. She took a job offer in Houston to make more money and to get her mind off of Zeid.

She realized early on in the relationship how much of an asshole he was and ended it. But he only moved in 2 doors away, with some friends he had made when he was with Chris, in her condo. How can you avoid an ex when he lives 2 doors away. This is why he moved in…with Janie and Moises Rodriguez, in their condo. Before she got pregnant, she told me that when she would go to take a birth control pill, it was already gone. She told me her method and I was doing the same thing. Well, she called me several times before she got pregnant saying that her bc bill was missing before she would take it….

Although, at first, she was upset and taken back by her pregnancy, she soon became overwhelmed with joy at the thought of her having another baby! We all were excited!!!!! She had 2 baby showers…one here in LA and one in Houston. He had it lifted, leather interior, sunroof….. Her doctor visits were ridiculous because she was considered high risk due to her age.

He gave her grief and stress all throughout her pregnancy, going out for 12 hours to a bachelor party in another city while she was 8 months high-risk pregnant and would not answer her phone calls! Keeping her awake because HE is trying to adjust to his nighttime schedule, so, he is watching basketball games and playing playstation in bed while my sister is trying to sleep because she had work in the morning it is after midnight and she is 7 months pregnant!!! She had to go downstairs to sleep because he refused to leave or turn off the tv! He was a burden to her. I am her sister! It was just her and I…no other siblings.

I know her best. She left for Houston in June Met him in and started dating him. Figured him out in and kicked his ass out. He weaseled his way back in Paris had her baby girl in January and Chris had her baby girl in July She was head over heals!!! She just kept working hard, saving money, trying to get that dream house of hers. She worked from home when she needed to, because she was sick or the baby was sick, DP was no help with anything….

Worked a full-time job, worked out twice a day, took care of her baby girl and brought her every where with her, including pedicures, grocery shopping, hair salons, etc. All her and DP did was fight and she told me and all of her friends that she would be better off without him, he was just a thorn in her side. He did not help at all with the baby, he did not help financially, he did not help with duties around the house…he was just there to complain every time my sister asked him for any help. They fought tremendously the week before her death and her friend heard much of this over bluetooth in the car.

Mila was 19 months old. That is more than enough time to get adjusted to having a baby. Only in her name! We are from Louisiana and we do not recognize common law here. Christina was a planner and planned for everything.

Grief After Traumatic Loss - What's Your Grief

Had she known that TX practiced common law, she would have made sure she had something legal to keep DP from trying to take everything, just in case of divorce. She never imagined death! Which is why she did not have a beneficiary. She would have been 41 years old. Texted her friend that was visiting family in California to tell her the news of the botox. Chris wanted DP out of the house. The house that he bragged about so much to all of his friends. Her gay friend, David, spent the weekend at her newly built house and arrived Friday evening. The first time since she was born…. He knew Chris was at her wits end, so he was trying to butter her up.

Chris called Paris and spoke with her until approximately 4: David texted Chris that he made it home safe and Chris responded at 4: Chris made so many sacrifices for Mila and to have Mila in her life. She is able to kneel and manages to asphyxiate herself with a bedsheet right after her friend leaves, she talks to her 20 year old daughter, and her 19 month old daughter is playing RIGHT THERE!?!?

Even though we were there in TX, at the hospital when she died, 2 days later, we told the ME that she needs to treat this as a homicide because we know my sister did not commit suicide, even though we called the cops, the DA, anyone we could think of in Harris county to notify, we notified that this was a homicide. They all told us that it was just heresay. They ruled it as a suicide. What about what DP told the police? I have been researching online and everywhere else that police have to treat a suicide as a homicide until they can prove suicide.

Mila is his own child! Now, not only do we have to plan a funeral, but we have to hire an attorney to fight for Paris and Mila! He attended that funeral. We had one here in Louisiana, where my sister was born and raised and where all of her family and most of her friends were. DP did not show because he said he had work. He, still to this day, has yet to speak to my Papa, and has only spoken to my mother once…. He does not let us have visits with Mila.

Spirit: A True Life Tale of a Grieving Sibling by Ashleigh E. Nolz - Paperback

If anyone has any advice for me, please reply. I am so desperate and tired! I was 5 years old when I lost my 14 month old brother. There was no explanation given to me then or over the years. It was never talked about, never discussed. When I would bring it up for discussion, I was told there was nothing I could do … just let it go. The one thing I was never able to recover was that the loss of my baby brother blew up our family and every thing I knew about safety and security.