Fear: How to Overcome Fear and Live a Worry-Free Life Full of Endless Possibilities (Fear Cure)

Noticing the one thing that went wrong, rather than all the things that went right.

Coming up with reasons why positive events don't count. Making negative interpretations without actual evidence. You act like a mind reader: Expecting the worst-case scenario to happen. The plane's going to crash! Believing that the way you feel reflects reality. Everyone must be laughing at me. Holding yourself to a strict list of what you should and shouldn't do and beating yourself up if you break any of the rules. I'm such a moron. Labeling yourself based on mistakes and perceived shortcomings.

Assuming responsibility for things that are outside your control. I should have warned him to drive carefully in the rain.

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While cognitive distortions aren't based on reality, they're difficult to give up because they're often part of a lifelong pattern of thinking that's become so automatic you're not even completely aware of it. You may think that worrying will eventually help you to find a solution to a problem or prevent you from being surprised by anything that happens in the future.

You may think that worrying protects you in some way or even equate it with being responsible or caring. In order to stop worry and anxiety for good, though, you need to give up the belief that your worrying serves a positive purpose. Once you realize that worrying is the problem, not the solution, you can turn off anxious thoughts and regain control of your worried mind.

7 Ways to Deal with Uncertainty So You Can Be Happier and Less Anxious

Telling yourself to stop worrying doesn't work-at least not for long. You can distract yourself for a moment, but you can't banish anxious thoughts for good. In fact, trying to do so often makes them stronger and more persistent. You can test this out for yourself. Close your eyes and picture a pink elephant. Once you can see it in your mind, stop thinking about it. Whatever you do, for the next 60 seconds, don't think about pink elephants!

You always have to be watching for it, and this very emphasis makes it seem even more important. Instead of trying to simply distract yourself, there are steps you can take to retrain your brain and change how you look at the world.

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If you worry excessively, it can seem like negative thoughts are running through your head on endless repeat. You may feel like you're spiraling out of control, going crazy, or about to burn out under the weight of all this anxiety. But there are steps you can take right now to hit the pause button on anxious thoughts and give yourself a time out from relentless worrying. Get up and get moving. Exercise is a natural and effective anti-anxiety treatment because it releases endorphins which relieve tension and stress, boost energy, and enhance your sense of well-being.

Even more importantly, by really focusing on how your body feels as you move, you can interrupt the constant flow of worries running through your head. Pay attention to the sensation of your feet hitting the ground as you walk, run, or dance, for example, or the rhythm of your breathing, or the feeling of the sun or wind on your skin. Take a yoga or tai chi class. By focusing your mind on your movements and breathing, practicing yoga or tai chi keeps your attention on the present, helping to clear your mind and lead to a relaxed state. Meditation works by switching your focus from worrying about the future or dwelling on the past to what's happening right now.

By being fully engaged in the present moment, you can interrupt the endless loop of negative thoughts and worries. And you don't need to sit cross-legged, light candles or incense, or chant. Simply find a quiet, comfortable place and choose one of the many free or inexpensive smartphone apps that can guide you through the meditation process. Practice progressive muscle relaxation.

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This can help you break the endless loop of worrying by focusing your mind on your body instead of your thoughts. By alternately tensing and then releasing different muscle groups in your body, you release muscle tension in your body. And as your body relaxes, your mind will follow. When you worry, you become anxious and breathe faster, often leading to further anxiety. But by practicing deep breathing exercises , you can calm your mind and quieten negative thoughts.

While the above relaxation techniques can provide some immediate respite from worry and anxiety, practicing them regularly can also change your brain.

Here Is A Preview Of What You'll Learn...

Research has shown that regular meditation, for example, can boost activity on the left side of the prefrontal cortex, the area of the brain responsible for feelings of serenity and joy. Finding your center will help you feel better prepared to tackle whatever comes your way.

For example, my boyfriend and I are cramped in a small space with little storage. My clothes are in bags spaced throughout the room, like some kind of luggage booby trap. Then suddenly, it dawned on me: So I asked my boyfriend to help me organize the space and keep it that way, and now I feel a lot less scattered. Instead of noticing and appreciating the beauty in the moment, you get trapped in a fear-driven thought cycle about the potential for discomfort down the line.

That means I can spend today doing other things, like writing, reading, relaxing in the sun, and connecting with people I love. Nothing stays the same forever. The uncertainty can keep you up at night, obsessing over ways to protect yourself from anything that might go wrong. Or it can motivate you to practice acceptance, live in the moment, and embrace the adventure of living.

Photo by Modern Dope. Her latest book, Tiny Buddha's Worry Journal , which includes 15 coloring pages, is now available. This site is not intended to provide and does not constitute medical, legal, or other professional advice. The content on Tiny Buddha is designed to support, not replace, medical or psychiatric treatment. Please seek professional care if you believe you may have a condition. Before using the site, please read our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use. Click to opt-out of Google Analytics tracking.

Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's not about me. Just grey, colourless, lifeless strangers.

Say Goodbye to Fear Once and For All

I got back to my seat. I looked around for one last chance at human reassurance. I got my phone out, the final distraction. Watching videos of cats looking at cucumbers. I watched Unilad Gifs. At one point I watched three Fall Out Boy videos back to back. No one has ever done that before. The first thing you learn in your NHS prescribed cognitive behavioural therapy , six months after you begged your GP for help, four months after constant panic attacks led to a breakdown, and two months after you bought a book that says all that your trainee CBT therapist will ever tell you, is that the worst thing you can do, when suffering with anxiety , is avoidance.

The more you avoid the situations that cause you anxiety, the more anxiety they will cause, and soon enough the number of situations that cause you anxiety will increase. Your life will become narrower and the world will seem scarier. But in your pocket is a device that allows you to avoid everything at all times.



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I thought it would be a coping device at first, but soon realised that your phone can exacerbate the problem as it lowers your self-esteem, increases your fears, and narrows your life to endless scrolling. The negative effects of social media on mental health have been well reported. Yet, with ever-rising rates in depression, suicide being the highest killer in men under 35 , and this being dubbed the age of anxiety, of course there is more to it than just the bright light on your screen keeping you up at night.

Back on the train, I was watching Duck Rotation. Panic and fear had been usurped by humming anxiety and self-loathing. I had spent one hour and 50 minutes of my short time on earth trying desperately to avoid my life. Instead, I was staring at a rotating virtual duck on my mobile phone screen. I took my headphones off and put my mobile away. I knelt on my chair and looked down the carriage. No one looked back, they were all looking down at their screens.

Face Fear and Keep Going

What was their excuse? We all use the internet as a distraction. None of us are proud of it, but we all find reasons to succumb; whether the reason is depression , anxiety or just boredom.