Were Just Friends
Some people are like that. That's why I always encourage my clients to start by self-checking their own behaviour. Are you the problem? Is your partner so sick of your suspicions or accusations that they're finally taking a stand and locking their phone? Yet more often, I see that pendulum swing to the other extreme. I see spouses who harbor deep feelings of suspicion, sadness and worry with regard to their spouse's opposite-sex "friend," but who nonetheless bite their tongue instead of voicing those suspicions. That's because those "drop it" tactics work so well.
Nonetheless, you may need to be "that wife" or "that husband. The more time, energy and affection your partner is spending on another person, the less they're spending on you. So protect your marriage. Any professional who works with couples will tell you that the vast majority of affairs begin as opposite-sex friendships, especially of the type enabled by personal technology such as texting and social media. These can create a false sense of intimacy that can fast-track a "friendship" into something more. If your partner dismisses your concerns or disregards the impact the extramarital friendship is having on your relationship, then it's safe to say there's a problem that needs to be addressed.
There's a lot you can do to regain control in a good way!
Why "We're Just Friends" Is Often A Lie | HuffPost Canada
The longer these "friendships" go on, the more entrenched they get and the more defensive people get of them. I should know, since this issue is a common one I see in practice. But step one is to get your own head around it. Instead of feeling insecure or ashamed to insist that your partner limit or end an opposite-sex friendship that is causing a rift between the two of you, have confidence in your own assessment of the situation and in your own ideals of what is appropriate within a marriage.
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We're Just Friends
This is the number one book I'd recommend to those who have faced betrayal through an affair. There is so much info on betrayal through sex addictions and porn, but this book addresses the "love affair" and those that come out of friendships. It covers how to protect, how to recover, what to do, the other views. It has tons of situations and healing steps. It has assessments to see if you are in danger with attitudes and such.
It has many examples of real couples and their struggles. It talks about situations that affect affairs of all varieties.
Why "We're Just Friends" Is Often A Lie
When I recognized similar situations to my husband, I read it to him and he'd say "That's a real thing? It helped me to understand better to. Sometimes I needed to know more than that he's trying- That's a common thing with betrayal trauma and this book really helps with that. Definitely would recommend it. I'm not P Stout. Kindle Edition Verified Purchase.
This book is absolutely amazing and I highly recommend it for ALL relationships, whether someone has been unfaithful or not.
I have been married for almost 6 years and recently found out that my wife has been unfaithful for the past year of our marriage. It felt like somebody literally pulled a rug out from under me and I hit the floor with a thud. All of my friends of course said I should pack up my stuff and leave. Friends and family may mean well, but most of them don't have the slightest clue on what to do when it comes to relationships.
I bought this book and one other in search of answers and guidance. The book really opened my eyes to what all is involved when an affair happens, and it also shows that affairs can happen in good marriages if safeguards are not followed to protect the marriage. My attention was immediately hooked after the first quiz in the book which was created to let people know if the person they say is "just a friend" really is just that.
I can honestly say after reading this book I have realized that even though I never physically cheated on my wife, I came close to having an emotional affair at one point. However, due to Chris's continuing lack of assertion, the two end up falling asleep and nothing happens that night.
The next day, Jamie speaks with Darla about the night before and her fear that Chris's lack of affection means that he doesn't like her. Jamie admits that while the two are "just friends", she tried to "put herself out there" to Chris, to show Chris that she is interested in a relationship.
Meanwhile, Chris goes to Clark's medical office for advice, saying that "the timing wasn't right" and Jamie and Chris's history hinders his willingness to have sex with her. Outside the office, they happen to catch Dusty singing to a sexy nurse and then kissing her. Dusty reveals to Chris and Clark that he only plans to have sex with Jamie, as he wants to humiliate her in the same way that he felt she used to humiliate him when he was a nerd and she was the object of his crush.
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Chris tries to warn Jamie, but instead ends up attacking Dusty in front of her; Jamie refuses to listen when Chris tries to explain. Chris consequently gets drunk and goes to the bar where Jamie works, finding her there with Dusty. Jamie refuses to listen and Dusty tries to convince her to have sex with him. When Jamie gently turns him down, Dusty storms out of the bar. Chris and Jamie get into another fight, with him blaming her for keeping him in the " friend zone " and saying that she "peaked in high school" and will never amount to anything.
Jamie punches Chris and he is tossed out of the bar. Upon returning to LA and having a frightening reunion with Samantha who sneaks into Chris's house to "surprise him" , Chris realizes that Jamie is his one and only true love. He returns to New Jersey hoping to finally be with her. Chris declares his genuinely intense romantic love for Jamie at her house and the two share a kiss outside, in view of the neighborhood kids. This came about when the casting director said "we need an Alanis Morissette type" and Reynolds said he knew someone who would fit.
This scene was deleted, however, and is only available on the DVD. A soundtrack was released November 22, on New Line Records. Just Friends received mixed reviews from critics. The site's critical consensus reads, "There are moments of mirth in this overly broad comedy, but mostly, Just Friends is just not that funny.