ABCs of Love: Help Your Child To Work Successfully With Love (The ABCs of Kids Emotion Book 2)

Don't forget to provide paper and crayons so your child can practice writing. You may also limit time in front of the TV or other electronic devices.

The American Academy of Pediatrics AAP recommends that kids under 18 months not have any screen time, with the exception of video-chatting with family and friends. Preschoolers ages 2 to 5 should have no more than 1 hour of screen time each day, with a parent or other caregiver who can help them understand what they are seeing. Toddlers want to feel included and competent; choose books they can follow along with, especially those with repetitive text so they can fill in words.

Maintain your toddler's interest by choosing books with small amounts of text on the page and books about topics that you know are of interest. For younger toddlers 12 to 24 months you'll want sturdy board books with pictures especially photos of kids doing the things they do every day. Books about bedtime, baths, or mealtime are all good choices; so are books about saying hello or good-bye.

Keep active hands busy with lift-the-flap pages and textures to feel. Toddlers from 24 to 36 months are beginning to be able to turn paper pages, so this is a good time to expand beyond board books. They're also beginning to understand the mechanics of reading and like books that are repetitive and easy to memorize so that they can "read" along. By now you will start to know what your child's interests are — whether trains, trucks, or stuffed bears, find books about these things of interest. Kids this age also like books about children, families, and animals.

Toddlers love to look at homemade books, scrapbooks, or photo albums full of people they know try adding simple captions. Poetry and songbooks are good choices for this age group too.

You may find that story time turns into sing-along time. Read-aloud time isn't the only opportunity kids should have to spend time with books — toddlers love to choose and look at books on their own. Keep books in a basket on the floor or on a low shelf where your child can reach them easily and look at them independently.

Keep some books in the car and always have a few handy in your bag for long waits at the doctor or lines at the post office. Once if a child had a talent, it was viewed as a God-given gift. But then Sigmund Freud proposed that parents were almost entirely responsible for how children turned out, psychologically at least. They came from a man of whom you have probably never heard, but it is likely that his ideas have had a profound effect on how you think you should raise your kids.

In his mind, this translated to the fact the brain needed to be stimulated as much as possible until growth slowed at the age of three. Doman went so far as to say that babies arrived in the world so thirsty for knowledge that they would rather learn than eat.

But already, it was too late. A trend for educational hothousing took hold and grew through the 70s. However, by the early 80s, psychologists began to report cases of overstressed children. Parenting books no longer focused on the basics of feeding and caring for a baby. Instead, they concentrated on increasing IQ. While Doman never succeeded in creating a generation of early readers, he did prove another point. He demonstrated that the insecurity of parents could be turned into cold, hard cash.

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As the claims became increasingly outlandish, the protests of the researchers who pointed out that marketers were confusing neurology — the study of the nervous system — with psychology, grew louder too. So, it was in this atmosphere that I plonked my first baby in her bouncy seat in front of a Baby Einstein video.

There I left her to gaze up at a surreal mix of lava lamps, wind-up toys and glove puppets dancing to xylophone reductions of Mozart. Common sense should have told me this was unlikely to do anything but confuse her or send her to sleep. And Leslie Seppinni, a marriage family therapist and clinical psychologist practicing in Beverly Hills, Calif. Usually it does take a little while. So if it's so common, why don't more people talk about it? Shapiro and Seppinni agreed that the considerable stigma that surrounds the issue often quells discussion among new parents -- even if they are thinking and feeling the same thing.

For many men, this reticence to share their feelings may be even more considerable. Some may keep these feelings to themselves for fear of appearing insensitive. For others, fear of revealing their true concern may further prevent them from talking about how they feel.

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But help may be on the way for some new fathers; Seppinni said male parenting classes have sprung up to help new fathers and fathers-to-be form a bond with their kids. Still, even parenting classes may not help some fathers avoid an initial period of detachment. He said there are three times at which many fathers form a bond with their children. Some fathers, he said, form this bond while the child is still in the womb.

How We Do It

For some, the bonding moment is at birth. And for others still, bonding does not occur until the child is as old as "little league age. The delay, it turns out, may have something to do with the way fathers traditionally relate with their children.

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