The 176 Stupidest Things Ever Done

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This was next to a hydrant with a short hose on it. When filling the tank, we would routinely bring the dogs with us, and Taz absolutely loved running off into the trees to get a big stick for someone to throw for him. Beau, since he was basically attached to Taz at the hip when he was around, would also trot off to follow afterwards, and would come back to get a drink after Taz was done chasing the stick. Buck was in the adjacent pasture, on the side of the fence next to the hydrant, with the other stud horses when it wasn't breeding season.

He came up a few times and watched us play with the dogs, and seemed to notice that Beau would trot off, as well as how we were filling the tank he liked to play with the hose. This was all well and good, until one day I heard a noise like a dog being killed happen a few times from this pasture. This led me to discover what may be the funniest situation I've ever seen.

Buck had figured out how to rig the float that controlled the auto-waterer so that it was constantly on he pawed it a few times until it stayed on , and was taking advantage of the fact that people were throwing sticks for Taz. This caused them to screech and run off. However, as Taz really wanted to get into the trees to get a stick, he'd come back, apparently having forgotten about being sprayed with water, with Beau close on his heels. Buck would spray the shit out of them once again. Judging by the amount of water that had been sprayed everywhere, this had to have been going on for at least half an hour after the last cowboy had ridden away from there, but Beau and Taz were both too derpy to remember WHY they were scared of going there, and so they'd blindly trot back up there.

I've never seen a horse more pleased with himself than Buck was that day. Well, hopefully I've fulfilled everyone's appetite for funny stories with this! I'm pretty tapped out on really funny things that I can recall off hand, at least with regards to Beau and Taz. I've had lots of fun over the years with my animals, and have quite a number of stories to tell, of all different types. Thanks for taking the time to read! The image of a full grown horse finally realizing how to buck and dancing all over a field is an amazing image, lol.

I had a mutt that was dumb as rocks when I first got married. She once got her head stuck in between the railings on the stairs, and after I rescued her, I was repairing the railings I had had to remove - the dumbass dog got her head stuck in the railing again trying to watch what I was doing. One of my cats is a wonderful idiot. He can only learn to do something if he's seen our other cat do it at least 50 times first. For example, he seemed to think that a 2-ft high baby gate had made a doorway completely impassible, despite the fact that he can easily jump 5 feet in the air if he wants.

The first time he saw our other cat on the other side of it, he tried to walk through the gate instead of jumping over it, and crashed into the clear plastic. He was just trying to abide by the rules of your house. That wall was clearly placed there for a reason. When he saw your other cat on the other side, he was trying to show the other cat that the wall was there, and that he shouldn't be on the other side.

Well, my late lamented cat Buzz did a few dumb things.

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He chased a Swan. It chased him back, caught him by the leg and gave me a hefty vet bill. He fell out of my bedroom window. Once I could excuse but after the second time, it was easier to just keep the window closed. He sniffed a lit candle. I was right there, I saw him approaching it, but I never thought for a second he would sniff it. How wrong was I? I came home from work one day and couldn't find the cat anywhere. I looked all around the house, shook his kibbles, no cat.

Husband and I couldn't figure out how the fuck he got out The moron managed to squeeze through the crack that the window was open and jump out of our second storey window. What scent was the candle? Sometimes candles smell so delicious, you can't not smell them. My cat wanted to go out, so I was going to open the window. At the second my hand touch the handle, the cat must have thought "Ho, he touched the window, it's open now!

I have a tuxedo cat by the name of Rosco, named after Rosco P Coltrane; and the name was very intentional, as this cat is the living embodiment of stupidity. However, his crowning triumph came when he climbed on top of a cabinet, and attempted to leap on to the ceiling fan thinking it was another shelf; he hit it, was flung across the room, bounced off of a wall, looked around to see if anyone else saw it, then bolted down the hall. My last cat knew how to climb very, very well but could not get down.

After he figured out how to climb trees then it became a weekly occurrence. I'd get a "Simba's in the tree again" call while at work, and I'd know I'd have one of three options:. Either of these options usually caused him to climb even higher. We have extremely tall pine trees here and he got up over ft before. A huge storm was rolling in and he'd been there for 4 or so days. My neighbor's ladder wasn't long enough but I was determined to get him to safety. So I used the ladder to climb as high as I could and then free climbed the rest probably another 25 ft.

The storm was already in full swing by then and it was dark and I was drenched in cold rain. I finally reached him and used one hand to grab him while using my other hand to keep me in the tree. I literally shoved the cat inside my hoodie and climbed down, fighting his fear the whole way. I still have scars to prove it. That is some determination I can admire, if I didn't live on the other side of the world, I would buy you a beer, and a bigger ladder. My dog once sneezed, waking himself up, and proceeded to bark at himself for a solid ten minutes before going back to sleep.

Also once when the Scooby Doo movie was on telly, during the farting scene he went right up to the TV, then sniffed his own backside in confusion. Best day ever was when I had a rank and loud fart. My dog was sleeping next to me, woke up, look confused, sniffed his ass, then rolled over back to sleep. Years ago we has a Westie that slept at the foot of our bed. One night my husband farted, woke the dog, and the dog proceeded to try and dig through the mattress to get at whatever made that smell. Husband couldn't stop laughing long enough to stop the dog from digging. When I was young, we had an adorable, loveable, but extremely dumb standard poodle.

One day, my dog saw my mum pulling into the driveway at our house from one level up. He got very excited so he ran out on to the deck at full speed. Now, at this point we had just redone our deck so there were no railings on it. This dumb dog did not slow down at all, ran right off the deck at full speed and dropped 15 feet to the cement driveway. We all freaked out and were so afraid that he broke something, but he bounced right up and ran to my mum to lick her face.

I miss that dumb dog, he was my stupid baby brother and I loved him so much. Sounds like the people who are too drunk to realize what they're doing has potential to injure themselves, and they end up fine. We named him "chance" because we took a chance on keeping him when he made us his family walked in the dog door and never left. Chance was a big cat not fat and you could hear him running anywhere because it sounded like a horse. One day I was sitting on the back patio drinking coffee and heard him running from the top of the roof and ran down the patio cover and leaped off in a glorious jump.

Time slowed down as I watched him fly through the air This cat did this for about a week straight. My cockapoo falls asleep, looking sweet and innocent and will then proceed to let off enough wind to launch a thousand ships, and will then wake up and bark at the noise he himself created, this causes my Tibetan terrier to start barking as well and they do not stop until i calm them both down. She likes to sleep on the back of the couch close to my head. So she poots loudly like 2 inches from my face, wakes up barking, and then runs away. My father was walking my sister's dog many years ago.

It was winter in the north of Sweden, and they were walking along a stream which ran fast enough not to be completely frozen over, but partially. According to my dad the dumb dog spotted a stick floating past and jumped in the water. The stream got the better of him and pulled him under the ice. Luckily he emerged further down the stream and crawled up on the bank - happy as could be, with the stick in his mouth. Another dog found our dog bowl and pissed on it. Our dog, seeing this, pissed on it afterwards to reclaim his territory then proceeded to drink from it. One time my dog puppy then ran outside, stopped in the middle of the road, and stared at an approaching car wagging his tail.

When the car hit it's brakes my dog rolled over like it wanted a belly rub or something. Or maybe my dog was trying to commit suicide who knows, my dog wanted a belly rub from a car so that is what I know. I have a friend who's dog got out of the house one day and then ran into the middle of the road and got hit by a car. The car stopped and she just got right up and started barking at the car. I had a cat that would often chase it's tail, from time to time it would actually catch it's tail, bite it and then scream out in pain. I had a dog that loved chasing her tail.

She only caught it once that I remember. She looked up at me as if asking what should she do with it now that she had it only to spit it out and walk away. I don't think she chased her tail to often after that. TIL that dogs chasing their tail is the same as men trying to suck their own dicks. It seems impossible, but once they reach it, neither knows what to do with it.

The 176 Stupidest Things Ever Done

Lieutenant Cuddles, a cat, would place one of his paws into the flame of a burning candle, yelp and run away. We would lick his burned paw for a few moments, until the same candle would catch his eye. He would then hop back upon the table, lift his injured paw, suddenly come to his senses, then place the other paw into the fire. He did this virtually every time we would light any candles. I never forgave him for his stupidity. HE licked his paw.

He seemed to have a death wish. His behavior was incredibly impulsive and he had no concept of self preservation. The first day, he jumped on to the lid of my open banjo case, which wobbled then slammed shut, locking him inside and nearly amputating the tip of his tail. I mean by mere millimeters he missed it. Luckily I was there to witness or else he may have been locked away for who knows how long. The next day he climbed up the inside of a table lamp, clasping the bulb, then shoved his head out through the small opening at the top which immediately got stuck.

The lamp of course tumbled off the table, falling about 3 feet, and landing him right on his head on the hardwood floor. He was 8 weeks old and tiny, and I just barely caught him by his back legs. He was in an expertly crafted Olympic dive position, perfectly streamlined as if to make himself as small as possible On the fourth day took a carefully planned running jump off the top of the stairs. He sat there, thought about it, posed ready for it, then ran as fast as he could.

He tumbled head over heels 2 or 3 times down the flight and landed on his head, again. The last heart-palpitation inducing incident on the fifth day was when I brought him over to my parents house. My mom was giving me some food from their freezer, which was from one of those fancy fridges with a pull out freezer on the bottom. She rolls it out, gives me the stuff, then shoves it closed. A minute later I realize my kitten is missing, and we here desperate meows coming from the fridge.

I had to reach up underneath the drawer and pull him out through the small space, that's kind of like how the door in a vending machine works. Once you open the drawer, that space is blocked- if that makes sense. So I had to jam my hand in there and was wildly trying to grab him. I ended up yanking him out by one of his front legs which was not fun for either of us.

And more pictures for people. This was taken the week of the incidents: Stood by the food bowl. Farted, then growled at what she though was another dog behind her. Then when she saw her reflection in the water she jumped and hid in her basket. That was many years ago, and she is just as senile now.

My cat was eating one of my plants, but he was going hard and he knocked the pot over. The pot landed on his leg and broke it. He had to wear the cone of shame. Growing up we had a golden retriever named Debbe, we moved from Colorado over to Pakistan because my dad got a transfer from his employer to work over there and we took Debbe along.

She was about 7 years old and throughout her entire life she walked on carpet with the occasional tile in a bathroom or kitchen, well this new house we got set up in was marble throughout. In addition the doors were very flimsy, this lead to a recurring theme whenever someone would knock on the door or ring the doorbell. I would hear Debbe barking as she took off running to the door, a momentary pause in her barking and then BAM! It turns out she would run towards the door full speed, try to slow down and suddenly realize she couldnt get traction on the marble and would slide full speed into these flimsy hollow core front doors, scaring the shit out of whooever was on the other side.

This was a daily occurence for years. Another example is how she was never a hunting dog and didnt go outside too much, we had bigger windows in this new house where the birds would be just feet outside and be unable to see her because of the reflection and tint. I commonly caught Debbe with her tail out flat and her leg raised pointing at a bird but she had this wide eye horrified expression like she was thinking What the hell is wrong with me!?!?

When my cat Juno was a kitten, she was a little too brave. We have one of those half-walls separating our kitchen and living room, the top of the wall at waist height for me 5'3. She sat in front of it for a minute, contemplating something. I watched as she hunkered down, wiggled her butt, and leapt, flying gracefully into the wall face first, only one foot off the ground. She bounced off the wall and hauled ass into the next room in a fit of kitteny rage. Helped himself to a turd in the bowl left by one of my kids. Proceeded to run through the house with said turd in his mouth until tackled by my wife.

My cat will yell and howl and bleat to come in the bedroom When the door is open. When it's closed I guess she just assumes this part of the house no longer exists and lays down on one of her many soft spots. When my parents were training their white lab as a puppy, she would have a dumb but actually sensible "accident" quite frequently. However, at least once a week, she'd sprint over and jump on their couch that's next to the window to look outside, peeing all down the couch. My cat picked a fight with a badger mom and her two cubs. When I saw what was going on, I went out to give my cat some backup.

The badger started to growl and came at us. I grabbed the cat and noped the fuck back inside. He was alone at my parents' for a while the day before so I'm thinking my food-loving dog saw food sitting on the counter in a bag, tried for a while to get it out of said bag, and when he failed decided "fuck it, I'll just eat the whole thing. A little over a year ago he also knocked down, chewed open, and hoovered up the better part of a bottle of powdered coffee creamer.

My dog ate an entire hiking sock once. Swallowed whole, pulled out of her intestine intact by the vet. Not the brightest dog in the world. He has a block for a head, as is typical for pits.

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One day he ran to our bay window to bark at the mailman, but misjudged the distance and broke the window with his head. It was hilarious once I ensured he wasn't hurt. Mine was super smart. She would intentionally misbehave to get my attention like carrying around my boot in her mouth when she'd gotten a stick wedged up in there. But, she also jumped out a window once, tearing a huge hole in the screen in the process, so she wasn't always smart I guess. My cat jumped into my neighbours' balcony, entered their kitchen, beat up the dog and ate their lasagne.

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Had to pay them for the damage. I couldn't stay angry at him for too long though, he looked so fat and happy, then he vomited under my chair on my birthday. I get the same question every time I tell this story. His name is Frodo and he's got a taste for adventure. Holy shit I thought you were just recounting Garfield. Your cat is an asshole, what a nasty little hobbitses. He loves finding manure and rubbing his face in it and he loves eating deer poop. Oh and he chased a rabbit into our gazebo and instead of killing it, he proceeded to hump it. We've always had two dogs in my family.

Well, we had them tearing around outside playing with one another, the puppy chasing the older dog in these big sweeping circles. We have a little ornamental pond with a pile of rocks on one side, not too high, but enough to be about face-height to the puppy. Pond is maybe 2 foot deep, surface area of a coffee table or thereabouts. So they keep tearing around, running along the alley between the pond and the house, and I'm sitting on the lawn with a friend.

Just get through saying "wouldn't it be funny if Tries to go up and over the rocks to cut that corner and get to the dog. I will never forget her traumatized little face as she clung to the edge with her paws and her back ones on the mid-level lip of this pond and regretted ever taking a shortcut.

My mom laughed her ass off as I carried this dripping little bundle of regret to the front porch to get a bath. My dog jumped out the window of a moving vehicle. Roll down the window and next thing we know he's casually jogging alongside the car. My dog jumped out of the car while we were stopped at traffic lights one morning because he saw a tree he wanted to pee on. Knocked over my wife's taurantula's tank in the middle of the night. We found the tank the next morning, with the top popped off, in the middle of the floor, and no spider in sight.

Luckily, none of the cats got bit, and we found the little guy living happily behind the dryer 3 months later, and successfully returned him to his tank. Hey honey I found Ted! We had a big lab that wouldn't walk through spaces he didn't think he could fit partially closed doors mainly. My mother, who nicknamed the dog Captain Underfoot used this to her advantage by putting a step stool in the opening to our kitchen.

The dog could have stepped over it or pushed it to the side, but he would just sit there and stare at us all pathetic like. My dog Riley was usually a smart thing, but had strokes of stupidity. One involved a piece of bread. My father had been making a sandwhich and dropped a piece if bread on the floor. This was right at the corner of our pantry and kitchen, so there was part of a wall blocking some view of the pantry. Well, Riley decides it would be a good time to go and grab that tasty bread for a treat, because what dog doesn't like free food?

He saunters on up, starts to sniff the bread and stuff. Well, unbeknownst to Riley, my cat, Liver, had just walked into the pantry from the other direction, hoping to get some delicious tuna from my father. Because of the wall, Riley didn't see her. So, when Liver let out a loud "Mrow," Riley flipped out. He had just been about to grab the bread and then it meowed at him. He jumped a good three feet in the air, backwards, landed on his ass and scrambled away, as if something had just stung him. My dad was laughing his ass off, because it was one of the funniest things he ever saw, but Liver was still hungry, so she turned corner, grabbed the bread, and then ran off.

When Riley finally came back he found the meowing bread gone. Not a pet, but dumbest animal I ever saw. Drove by this farmer's field and there was a wild turkey at the fence, trying its hardest to figure out how to get past it turkeys can fly. Every day for a week this turkey was in the field, running back and forth along the same section of fence.

Dunno if it ever succeeded or if a coyote got it, since it was 'trapped'. I have the biggest sissy of a Rottweiler. Whenever I see a Rottweiler I can't take it seriously. Mine will run away from any new visitor in my house, she is constantly tormented by my 2 cats and hides under the bed when it rains. For a breed that's stereotypically the big tough dog she is a wimp and I love it.

My hamster decided to groom himself while sitting right above his ladder on his upper level. He leaned toward the ladder, causing himself to roll all the way down the ladder. I'll never forget how surprised and funny he looked after making that mistake lol. I had just moved into my new house, and my three dogs were running around outside, checking out the new digs. There were some stairs leading up to the roof, which is essentially a flat patio with no railing.

My two other dogs got to the edge and recognized the drop and proceeded to head back down the stairs, but my Shih Tzu got to the edge and just lept off. She must have fallen ten feet onto solid concrete. My first thought was "oh my god, she just killed herself," but to my surprise, she immediately got up, shook her body with a little whimper, and walked away without any trouble. I immediately took her to the vet to make sure she didn't have any internal injuries she didn't. No idea how he got up there or out of his crate. Happened almost daily for 2 years.

Found him laying on the floor next to the trashcan licking the bottle like the alcoholic he is.

Looked cooler than i ever will. Just grabs the end of the roll and runs like forrest gump. Unfortunately he had a stroke and doesn't remember who I am since he lives with my parents and I don't see him as often. While my mom was watching tv, the laundry was going on in the other room. So she hears the ding from the machine, gets up, leaves the remote on the couch, and flips the laundry over. She comes back to see the dog lying in the chewed remains of the remote, and gets pissed. She grabs the spare remote, and then the laundry dings again, and she goes away again. And it happens, again. So, she calls my dad at work, and he starts asking her if she swallowed certain parts: When asked why he's asking all of these questions, my dad says "If she swallows the right parts, maybe she'll shit out an iPhone!

The phone is promptly slammed down on the receiver by mom. One day the cat sprinted from the bedroom, around a corner, under the coffee table and ran right into the sliding glass door at full speed. A couple days later she did it again. Each time she laid there for a minute, got up and walked away like nothing happened. My cat Lily is legitimately mentally retarded She doesn't know how to use her claws. I was talking to my housemate the other day and glanced down; she had managed to get one of her claws stuck in his shoelace and was just sitting there in horror trying to shake loose.

She gets her claws stuck in everything and has no idea how to get them out. I found out recently when my housemate moved out with his cat that she won't eat unless someone else is in the room with her. We had to move her food bowl into the room with my rabbits, but until then I just had to stand by her for like 30 minutes and watch her eat. She once got stuck in a tree, freaked out, and decided the best solution was to climb further up. We had to climb the tree to get her. She has no idea what weather is. When she manages to get outside and it's snowing, she'll start wailing and flop over until someone comes, picks her up, and puts her back inside.

My dog likes to bury his treats and dig them up later. He also likes to crunch on ice cubes. We gave him an especially large piece of ice yesterday which he promptly took out back and buried. I hope I'm around when he tries to dig it up. My parents added a 4 seasons room onto their house. There are sliding patio doors on each of the three sides. My Doberman decided to run through the screen door. Twice, in one day.

Once I could excuse. The second time no excuse. The next day she did it again. She stopped after that. Luckily no damage except for pride. Last year we had 5 acres of our property cleared. The trees no gone exposed a fairly large pond. My doby decided she was going to roll around at the top of the embankment And didn't stop and barrel rolled all the way down into the pond. She got a bath immediately after. My late great kitty when he was just a wee kitten was playing around a tiny pond at my childhood home. Now the surface of the pond was completely covered with these teeny tiny floating green plants.

Poor thing thought it was a solid surface. He stepped right down and through the not so solid surface. It's was only 3 feet deep and he rocket shipped straight out. One of my current kitties somehow gets on the roof of the house. I'm not sure how. She can't get back down. So I have to get her a ladder. It happens too often. I also found an upside down laundry basket. Which decided to launch itself towards me and make me almost wet my pants. The sweet idiot cat flipped it onto himself. Most recently, I had a fish commit suicide by drowning. If this seems retarded to you, it is. However, betta fish breathe air from the surface, and don't use their gills to pull oxygen from the water like most fish do.

Mine decided to swim down the tube where my bubble filter is god only knows why and proceeded to get her fat ass stuck in there. I then didn't notice for a while because I was off doing other things, and then I came back to discover this, and immediately facepalmed. A bit further back, I was helping my dad keep saltwater tanks. He had a snowflake eel. Actually, to be more specific, he had several snowflake eels over a several year period no more than 1 at a time. One of the little buggers decided to swim down through the intake pipe note that there was a grate there that was narrower than he was IIRC, I think later on that one jumped out of the tank and died that way.

However, the most impressive thing that one of our eels did was tied itself in a knot, got stuck, and died. We still aren't entirely sure how the fucker managed it, but he did, and we were, um, quite impressed when we found him. My bearded dragon Mushu decided he was going to take a leap off the couch onto his bamboo branch that was resting on the floor. He whacked it and did a triple somersault and landed on his feet. My dog knocked over my great uncles urinal and drank all of his piss. Once, I was locked out of my house came home after an exam, had forgotten my keys, family wasn't home , and I was sitting next to your cat..

Either way, my dog is a very, very loving dog, who wants pets and kisses and hugs no matter what the cost. He is a shih-tzu, so he isn't big either. While I was busy making homework on our doorstep, he realized I'd come home, but wasn't going inside.

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For 10 minutes, he was barking and scratching the door, trying to get to let me out. At this point, I put my hand in, through the cat door and pet him, hoping to quiet him. Apparently, it wasn't enough, since he attempted to jump out of the cat door, got both of us stuck and.. Well, I had to spend half an hour trying to free us from cat door. Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our User Agreement and Privacy Policy.

Log in or sign up in seconds. Filter posts by subject: Please use spoiler tags to hide spoilers. Welcome to Reddit, the front page of the internet. Become a Redditor and subscribe to one of thousands of communities. Want to add to the discussion? This is her she is 13 years old and a non-filterized picture I took of her a few years ago I also drew this picture of her almost ten years ago.

She's a silly little cutie. It's a miracle they are still alive, dumb cuties. Somehow forgot there was a word for that. Dogs are awesome Edit: He's just faithfully providing you with entertainment every night. He may need this blanket more than me. God, I really do miss him. She's an idiot, but I love her. Picture of my apparent goat. Then she just turned around and smacked into the fridge. I seem to be falling. Perhaps I should thump To this day they still don't completely trust that corner.

Setters are such airheads. Or did he just court her backwards and she never saw it coming? Have a nice day. Sometimes, usually at night. I can't see his wife change anymore. In fact, he had a running list of things that he was well known for, such as: For 15 years He also enjoyed running as fast as he could. Id add more, but Im on mobile right now. Thanks for everyone who's enjoyed these! Domino had a bad habit of running to our screen door, jumping onto them, then using his claws to slide down them, tearing long gashes into the screen, then trying to escape.

This lead to Domino getting declawed on the front feet. The first time after he had been declawed, he attempted to do the same thing. This resulted in about a half second of a cat hovering in mid-air with an "Oh SHIT" look on his face, before coming crashing down to the floor. Yes, I'm aware that there are a lot of concerns with declawing today. This was nearly 30 years ago when we had this cat, I was very young at the time, and the declaw was done not for cosmetic, but other reasons. Another horse, of course! I make lots of bad puns, if you couldn't tell Doc was, admittedly, not a dumb horse.

Every horse has one weird treat that they like, be it everything from pizza, fried chicken yes, seriously , ice cubes, or chocolate. Doc, however, liked beer.