My Affair with God, His Affair with Divorce

If you are stilling living in sin, how can G-d by his nature bless you? He can show you mercy, if you turn to Him with a repentant heart. A repentant heart is one that stops sinning and runs back to G-d. Remember, repentance is an action not an emtion.

This is not a game of checkers. If you were a mouse I'd say 'you have no soul' but you are a man. Solomon had supreme wisdom, but lacked the character necessary to live up to Gods ways. The misuse of his wealth and lack of character led to his downfall. Marty Strongaxe, read the outcome once again. Notwithstanding in thy days I will not do it for David thy fathers sake: Howbeit I will not rend away all the kingdom, but will give one tribe to thy son for David my servants sake, and for Jerusalems sake which I have chosen.

And God stirred him up another adversary, Rezon the son of Eliadah, which fled from his lord Hadadezer king of Zobah. And Jeroboam the son of Nebat, an Ephrathite of Zereda, Solomons servant, whose mothers name was Zeruah, a widow woman, even he lifted up his hand against the king 1 Kings Solomons failure led to the permanent break-up of the nation. From that time on the history of both houses was one of backsliding.

Both eventually went into national captivity and were removed from the land. Some of the Jews eventually returned, but not the house of Israel. These people lost their national identity and vanished from sight. Solomon turned from God toward the end of his life. God manifested Himself to Solomon on more than one occasion. God directly worked with him, and he knew it.

Like his father David, Solomon was very much aware of Gods dealings and power. If there was ever a man who should have looked to God and trusted him his entire life, it was Solomon. And if there was ever a man who failed in this, it was Solomon. Solomon paid no heed to God's warnings.

His wealth led to extravagance and corruption, and downfall. Solomon - seven hundred wives, princesses, and three hundred concubines, his wives turned away his heart. Idolatry - when Solomon was old, his wives turned away his heart after other gods: Solomon became an idolater. For Solomon went after Ashtoreth the goddess of the Zidonians, and after Milcom the abomination of the Ammonites. Then did Solomon build an high place for Chemosh, the abomination of Moab, and for Molech, the abomination of the children of Ammon. And likewise did he for all his strange wives, which burnt incense and sacrificed unto their gods.

God carried out his promise to punish Solomon for his sins. Wherefore the LORD said unto Solomon, Forasmuch as this is done of thee, and thou hast not kept my covenant and my statutes, which I have commanded thee, I will surely rend the kingdom from thee, and will give it to thy servant. Now therefore the sword shall never depart from thine house, because thou hast despised me, and hast taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be thy wife. Behold, I will raise up evil against thee out of thine own house, and I will take thy wives before thine eyes, and give them unto thy neighbour, and he shall lie with thy wives in the sight of this sun.

For thou didst it secretly: The most powerful king that Israel had ever known That would be the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. Alpha and Omega, Cornerstone and Foundation of all wisdom. Yes, David committed murder, and lost his child as a result of it - truly horrible circumstances. So God can redeem even the most horrible of circumstances.

David lost his child because of it. Sarcasm doesn't even deserve a dishonorable mention. Hey, it worked for David and Bathsheba Marriage is a covenant between three beings you your wife and God. Biblically a covenant was never broken, only by death. If God broke his covenant with us we would all be dead now. He made a covenant with the world as a sign of a rainbow to know he would never destroy man again. If you break yours which you have what good was your covenant?

How would you punish someone who has broken a covenant? Which happened first, your affair or hers? Marty, is it possible that you have hurt your wife? I remember a time in my marriage when I believed my husband was the one hurting me emotionally. Granted, we both fought alot.

We both hurt eachother but because of my past, I saw myself as the victim and rarely saw my part in the fights. Marty, find your way back to your wife.

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Find out what is hurting her. Draw close to God together. God wants you to be happy. But this other woman is not the answer. Also, you are helping this woman to sin. You have got to be making this up. You do not even know God, futhermore you are a blasphmer. Please don't tempt us few trues out here. Furthermore, you are tempting God. You are testing God. I think you have not truly understood the real biblical meaning of true repentance. It is not to be taken lightly.

When you have truly repented, you will know whether God will bless your relationship or not. Let us know by then. Mike, that is a good point that you made. Moderator, My sentiments exactly. You ask, "Don't I deserve to be happy? Did He not have His Son suffer a horrible death for your salvation? Is your suffering anywhere near His? I have been in your wife's position. I can not answer your question as I am not the one to judge. But adultery is a sin- and it seems you knowingly continue to live in sin. If you murder someone with the intention of repenting after the fact would you be forgiven? Pastor again; please cultivate this relationship like you should have the last and enjoy your freedom in Christ.

For more Grace go to www. If you leave your spouse you are to either remain single or be reconciled to your spouse, if you marry anyone else while your covenant spouse is alive you and they will be in adultery. Nick Koogler When asking the question is it Biblical we have to look for Biblical principles and how they relate to your question.

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Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery Luke Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God 1 Corinthians 6: Gods grace and mercy can forgive any person for sins committed in the past, the present, and the future but we must not, as Christians, condone any sin on the basis of Grace.

If a person is in an adulteress relationship and wants to know if the bible says it is ok then the answer is, certainly NOT. If a person was in an adulteress affair and ended up marrying that person before they knew Christ, is that ok? Gods grace has covered all your past sin. You need to forgive yourself for past wrongs just as God had forgiven you.

Lastly, if you are a Christian: Divorce should be a last option. Scripture is clear God does not like divorce, although it is sometimes necessary. Eventually her husband's unwillingness to commit to a monogamous relationship led to divorce. That harsh reality is now 11 years past, but healing didn't begin until recently.

How to Overcome an Affair - Divorce and Remarriage Help

Charged with charting a course for her family, she ignored her own need for restoration. In her mind, financial survival and raising children were the top priorities. It was all so scary. I didn't just lose my husband, I lost my whole life. I lost the majority of things that made me who I am: Life after divorce and betrayal creates unique challenges for the injured spouse. While divorce may be the best next step for some, those who divorce have a difficult journey ahead of them.

They will have to overcome issues with. Infidelity shatters the reality of the injured spouse so thoroughly that they often have trouble trusting their realty, their judgment, others and even themselves. Moving on after divorce, how can you know you aren't making the same mistake again? How do you release your heart to the care of another?

Wonderful doesn't necessarily solve the dilemma.

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It takes a great deal of individual work before enough healing occurs for self-confidence to return and hope for the future is recovered. Until that healing comes, releasing one's soul to the care of another is a challenge at best. Betrayal is frequently a traumatic experience for the injured spouse. Divorce in no way remedies the problems of emotional flooding. Reminders of what happened can create strong emotional reactions for years to come. While an unfaithful spouse may understand the root cause of that reaction, others who weren't involved at the point of crisis may find their reactivity confusing.

Failure to take the time to process the trauma of the betrayal on top of divorce recovery can leave them susceptible to emotional flooding for years to come. Life after divorce and betrayal can leave the injured spouse with an unfounded fear regarding the faithfulness of future partners. It's understandable, but the need for safety can be higher for these individuals.

Choosing not to mistrust is frequently a daily struggle and key to divorce recovery. It's no wonder that hypervigilance becomes a natural part of their being. The old saying "Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me" rings truer than ever before. The last thing they want is to be hurt again and in their mind "better safe than sorry" can become a limiting factor for future relationships.

For those who divorce, infidelity often creates a problem with intimacy avoidance. One approach to avoid future pain is to always hold a part of self back in future relationships. Being "all in" can present a serious challenge if you choose to avoid the risk of future pain.

While there's a part of us that longs to be connected to a special person, taking that risk may seem next to impossible if betrayed in a previous relationship. You may find, while moving on after divorce and into future relationships, that you feel as if you have hit a wall when the relationship progresses to a deeper level of intimacy.

Betrayal may create an aversion for anyone of the opposite sex. To create safety, a person may choose to believe that all men cheat, or that all women lie, etc. Divorce does nothing to correct the stereo-typing of an entire people group. As a matter of fact, life after divorce potentially creates more bitterness and mistrust of the opposite sex.

The inability to find a place of forgiveness and reconciliation can create a jaded perspective of life, which prevents them from ever reconnecting again. Eleven years later, Martha is still single. Until last year she longed for a new relationship, but still struggled with issues of trust.

She went through "Divorce Recovery" and even led divorce recovery classes, but was still limited in her ability to move forward. Last year she entered Harboring Hope. The other women in my group refused to let me avoid looking at my pain. I finally recognized that I had legitimate needs that had to be addressed and Harboring Hope systematically led me through the necessary steps for healing.

At Affair Recovery we know the wounds of betrayal can be healed. Regardless of whether your spouse has left you or not- don't lose hope. You have legitimate wounds as a result of the betrayal and you owe it to yourself to do the necessary work to heal. Our weekends provide safety for both spouses to address their own hurt, while also caring for the wounds of the marriage. All of these points seem to apply to how I now feel about my life and my spouse.

Today she does many things just the same and looks exactly the same as she did then.

She was faking it then, is she faking it now? I trusted and believed in her blindly. Now, I don't trust when she's alone. Now I panic every time she leaves the house. I trusted her openly and even tried to warn her.

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I won't let that happen again. I see women who have much more difficult lives and think about how my wife isn't nearly as worthy as these women who chose to remain faithful and work through their issues. I am so disappointed in her decisions and ashamed of what she did. Did you end up staying together? How has the recovery been for both of you, regardless if it ended or not? After 14 years of marriage my wife had a affair with my best friend, the affair lasted 6 months and I felt pain and hurt like no other.

We stayed together and worked it out and have now been married for 39 years. We moved away from the area and started again and my wife as been loyal and Faithfull ever since. She is loving all the attention. The downside to all this is all the old feelings of pain and hurt have returned like it was yesterday and it's making me Ill and spoiling what should be a wonderful time in our lives.

The mind movies have returned and I'm having trouble sleeping and getting on with my life. I'm also bringing up her affair and asking loads of questions which she rightly saying she cannot remember and as put it out of her mind. I don't think she would foget something like that. I love her to bits and she loves me but the past is haunting me again and all due to me falling in love with her again.

I stayed in a 22 year marriage 12 years following the betrayal. I stood by my man and marriage - but I could not move past the exact things stated in the comments above. We split 2 years ago and oddly enough are the best of friends. He truly never took full accountability of his actions until he lived alone. I would but he would not as the guilt is overwhelming.

I don't know if you can truly ever trust that person again. I am deeply saddened for anyone that experiences this in a marriage. Tragic and damaging situation - it changes both people and the dynamics of the marriage. I feel exactly the same way that's described. After My Wife destroyed my world with her 2 That I know of affairs and abandoning the children and I for her last affair during our marriage.

I found that even though I would have given anything to have her back I was losing site of who I was. My Blind trust of her made me feel stupid, ashamed and after seeing the nude photos that she had sent to him and reading and seeing her obsession with how Buff he was I refused to even have or want sex with her or anybody else for that matter. I felt so bad about who I was that all I did was go straight into survival mode. Kids, Money and sleep, was all I worried about.

I still have a hard time going anywhere without them and my confidence is no where near where it used to be but I do try to make little strides in my life. Infidelity is a terrible thing!

How to Overcome an Affair

My heart goes out to all those spouses who have been betrayed. Hope, trust and the belief in love is completely gone. No person in this world should be so selfish to take all these beautiful values from a person.

Unfortunately marriage is taken far too easily and as soon as the other spouse does not "fullfill my own needs" then they feel entiteld to search for somewhere else. It shatters a world of trust and surviving all the pain it carries everyday is a very big stuggle. I have been also betrayed from my husband after 20 years of marriage and been replaced from another woman that is hardly older than my son!

It causes terrible hurt, shock and disbelief! I am now facing a divorce and on top of all this HE is the victim and I am the dreadful wife. Could a person be so cruel? What I now have learnt, it's not you the faithful spouse! There is something about them that is so empty inside. The ones who have really lost are the cheating spouses. They do not know the meaning of a beautiful family. Please keep strong and God bless all hurting spouses. I truely hope we will all find our peace and joy one day. Being betrayed is one of the roughest experiences that I human being can go through.

How can you earn the trust back? I wish my ex-spouse the best, no hard feelings, just heartbroken.