Submissive Wife: Please, Sir!

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I had a very beautiful loving encounter with a man from the Netherlands who is a master. He is not wanting to commit to a sub at this time, but we do continue to have encounters on the site. I love my time with him and am not sure if it is his dominance but I am wanting to explore more about it. Your article has been an encouragement.

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I truly understand and relate to this. In business, I am a leader. Yet I have a submissive soul that longs to sit back and be led…guided, cared for. Unfortunately I have failed to find a man who is truly dominant in nature and secure in himself to be proud of and supportive of my dominant side. They have all been fakers, in the end I am far stronger, confident and capable than they. My best advice to someone new is this…. I am new to all of this. My fiance brought this lifestyle to my attention about 2 weeks ago, saying she has felt like something has been missing since she was a young teenager, and that she feels this may be the key to fixing our issues.

She claims she has no respect for me, which just killed me, and for reasons mentioned in your blog. I had never heard of such a lifestyle until now and quite frankly it wierded me out. I love and respect her very much so of course I am going to give it a shot. In her quest to learn more she found me a friend online, that I feel has been very helpful in guiding me in the ways of a Dominant, and has been very informative. See I am the nice guy that gave and gave and never expected anything in return, sacraficed to make sure she was happy, and vowed never to hit.

Well I am alos the nice guy that would get so angry sometimes for not getting anything in return and never getting any respect from anyone and still kept doing for others because I didnt know what else to do.

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Over the past 2 weeks I feel like I have learned that the Dominant role is something I should been doing all along. Until now, whether fear of life change or fear of the unknown, I have not done my research. I have had a very difficult time understanding where my fiance has been coming from, why she feels the way she does, and your blog has really helped me understand her quite a bit more. She has said very similar things but as always its different hearing it from someone else. Thank you for bringing me some clarity.

THIS made my night. I hope that the two of you grow and stretch in this exploration together!!!!! Yep it is really happening.

It could be extrememly fun with a partner you trust! What a beautifully articulated article. This explains how that could happen. These are our natural roles. And I am always respectful and treat her like the lady she truly is until the door closes….. Any advice on how to teach him to be my dom? Google things like Dominant Guide, find books on the topic, if you are in a place that has dungeons they may hold demonstrations on different topics like bondage, fire play, etc. Thanks so much for this wonderful article. My Dom is being great, and taking things very slowly, but this article has helped me understand things from my point of view, if that makes sense.

After reading it, I understand that his control actually comes from me, and that the way he respects my decision to surrender to him is by offering me that control back whenever I need it, through the use of a safe word. I just discovered my on and off boyfriend for years is a dominant how do i get him to be comfortable with himself and with it?

He would have to want to make the space to explore it…. When will submissive people get it it is not about your fantasy or fetish. It can be as strict or as loose as you and your partner agree on but if you are a sub male it is not about your fetish all the time. If she wants the bathroom cleaned and tells you to do it. She does not want to sit there in a leather corset and watch you clean it.

She would rather do something else. There is a fine line between being a submissive and abused toty. I enjoyed it, thank you for this. And no one so far has earned it.. I am sub and my bf is dominant and our relationship is amazing. He gives me the best orgasms in the world,I just need to beg for it and he likes to spank me or pull my hair,but if I say stop,he stops. I think,that a sub-dom relationship is about respect for both sides. However when it comes to other decisions.

Does being a submissive in the bedroom to my dominant lover mean he can continue to control other areas of my life outside the bedroom?

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This is new to me as well and I wonder where the boundaries are. Those are details that you talk about with your partner in the beginning. Clear, honest communication is the key in any relationship. This is no different. Thank you finally someone has said it the right way,love your post.

I am a mature women of age It is my 2nd marriage and my husband is very strict. He used to smack me often. I oppose but get wet. Do u think I must surrender for a spanking? Like you Kate is a very strong woman who discovers that she needs to be submissive in her relationship although not in her working life. I hope that it is more realistic than fifty shades. I have been on a date site for a couple of months and have been talking to a man who is a Dominant. We are discussing boundaries at this point and the lifestyle. Before him and I ever spoke, my thoughts on this was so black and white.

I said none will ever control me in any aspect. After gaining a small amount of trust in this potential Dominant, I decided to read up on the lifestyle. I want to believe a good Dominant male can control his emotions. Thank you for shedding light to a gal who had built severe emotional walls after losing her husband. The very thoughts of being equal with disproportionate power had truly peaked my interest and gives me hope. I loved your blog. I was a stock broker working 7 days a week but changed careers in my semi retirement.

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I teach now but still push myself in work. I converted to Islam when I was single then married my best friend who was a Muslim too. In Islam the man is the head of the family and more Dominant in public.. I found this sexy so I asked my husband to extend it to our intimate life. Now I have the most loving, intimate relationship I have ever had. I submit to him in many ways in and out of the bedroom. We do a lot of things that only we know. It is very intimate and keeps us both very aware of each other when we are in public. I truly feel he is a gift from Allah and I love the depth of our relationship.

So, a sub dom relationsionship never has to include whips or chains or pain but can be a truly liberating experience. From… A very satisfied wife. To ask other readers questions about Submissive Wife , please sign up. Lists with This Book. This book is not yet featured on Listopia. Jun 07, Jane rated it liked it Shelves: I loved the first one and this one is better.

I just wish the entire story was in one book; I hate getting parts only and lose interest. Kristopher rated it really liked it Mar 23, Ann L rated it it was ok Dec 03, Eleatha rated it it was amazing Aug 13, Rosa Johnson rated it liked it Oct 25, Beth Beck rated it liked it Mar 03, Tawanda Thompson rated it liked it Sep 25, So one really simple thing I find works pretty well is just to take some time off in between the asking-for-sex and the having-sex.

Instead of "Hey Husband, let's get it on right now" if you can approach it like "Hey Husband, come beat the crap out of me in an hour," then that gives you an hour to get yourself back into submissive headspace.

And then at the end of the hour, he can come start the scene off with a bang — drag you off to the bedroom, or start laying into you about what a bad girl you've been, or whatever nice toppy opening works for you — and you can be in your submissive role from the get-go. Also, I'm not convinced that showing him your porn tumblr can't be a subby thing to do. If you spin that right it could be way hot. You're revealing your naughty shameful forbidden thoughts to him if that's what yanks your chain or slaving away scouring the internet for the special pictures that will be most pleasing to your master if that's what yanks your chain or proving that you're a filthy-minded slut who deserves to be punished if that's what yanks your chain or etcetera.

Lots of material to play with there. I was also going to suggest something similar to what flarbuse and mauvest said. There's a saying called "topping from below" and doing that should get you more of what you want. Is it hot in here?

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

FSM, please bring me anonymous answers for Yule. I was thinking along the lines of what mauvest said, though I could never have said it so elegantly and I may need a cold shower in a minute.

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But if you wanted to try another approach, could you quietly kneel next to him and put your head in his lap. Not in an I want to have oral sex way, but in an affectionately submissive way, just to let him know you're in the mood. He could just quietly stroke and play with your hair to let you know he knows you're there but just keep working. Buy a nice new toy and present it to him as a gift to your Dom. Do you have a cushion or something to kneel on, in case you are there for a while, you can just drop it on the floor by his desk and kneel quietly on it by him while he works.

Maybe have a necklace or something you wear assuming you don't have a collar or some such other more overt symbol only when you are playing, so when you are in the mood you can put it on, and if he's in the mood then he can follow through. Yeah; even if it doesn't lead to sex, just kneeling next to someone you like to play with can be really nice.

But the part where it sometimes gets you laid is definitely a bonus. Is he just goofing off or is he in major flow mode with his hobby? Pick the right time to interrupt. Of course the real answer is for you guys to find an agreed upon way to interrupt. Since you're kink in the bedroom types doing this purely for sexy reasons there's no reason why you shouldn't be initiating sex, just find a fun way to do it and feel confident about it!

It might help you to change your mindset about this a little bit. So by initiating sex you're taking care of him in a sense, especially since, according to your post, He has told me in the past that I should just keep pushing until he realizes "Oh shit, this is going to be way more fun than programming! Submissiveness isn't necessarily about positions or whips and chains or whatever- it's about the individual dynamic between you and your Dominant, and what works for the both of you.

When I was a kid some friends of mine had a dog that would go fetch it's leash and bring it to her masters whenever she wanted to go for a walk.