Dont Panic! Overcoming Fear and Anxiety with Confidence

You often worry 'what if' something bad happens Your mind jumps from worry to worry You often imagine the worst case scenarios You are always on the look out for danger. Anxiety also influences how we behave. For instance, when we feel anxious, we often avoid doing things that we want to because we are worried about how they will turn out.

Although short experiences of anxiety are part and parcel of daily life, it becomes challenging when anxiety begins to follow people around and is a regular feature in their lives. Often we develop anxiety following a series of stressful life events. This is especially true if we experience many different pressures all at once. For example, if someone has work pressures, financial difficulties, and relationship problems, all at the same time, it is perhaps unsurprising that they become anxious. When thinking about it in this way, anxiety is often the result of feeling as though we cannot cope with the demands placed upon us.

In addition, people can learn to be anxious based on their life experiences. For example, if someone has faced workplace bullying in the past, they may be more likely to suffer anxiety when beginning a new job. Some people may have a thinking style that lends itself to experiencing anxiety.

How to overcome fear and anxiety

For example, anxious people have a tendency to expect that the worst possible scenario will always occur. They also feel like they must constantly be on guard in case something bad happens. They believe that by thinking about all the things that could go wrong, they will be better prepared to cope if it happens. However thinking in these ways mean they are on regular alert and find it difficult to relax and 'switch off'.

We also experience anxiety because of its evolutionary benefits. Put another way, although anxiety is largely an unpleasant experience, it also has positive benefits that have been useful to humans over the centuries. For example, when we are under threat or feel in danger e. When looking at anxiety in this way, you can quickly see how it can be very useful in certain situations. It has also been suggested that anxiety has familial ties. In other words, if someone in your immediate family is an anxious person, there is an increased chance that you will have similar personality traits.

Being judged negatively by others: They think I'm useless They won't like me Being unable to cope: I'll make a fool of myself I'm too anxious to manage that I'll have a panic attack Something terrible happening: What if I have an accident? What if I lose my job? When we are feeling anxious, it is common for us to spend a lot of time thinking about the future and predicting what could go wrong, rather than just letting things be.

In the end most of our predictions don't happen and we have wasted time and energy being worried and upset about them. Assuming you will perform poorly at your job interview. Spending the week before an exam predicting you will fail, despite all your hard work studying and your previous good grades.

This means that you make assumptions about others' beliefs without having any real evidence to support them. My boss thinks I'm stupid. People think I'm weird. Such ways of thinking naturally make us apprehensive. People commonly 'catastrophise' when they are anxious, which basically means that they often blow things out of proportion. They assume that something that has happened is far worse than it really is e.

They may think that something terrible is going to happen in the future, when, in reality, there is very little evidence to support it e. I'm going to get into serious trouble for calling in sick. Anxious people often have a tendency to focus on the negatives which keeps their anxiety going. They focus on the one person at work who doesn't like them, ignoring that they are very popular with the rest of their colleagues.

People often imagine how they would like things to be or how they 'should be' rather than accepting how things really are. I should have got an A in History. I should never be anxious. Unfortunately when we do this, we are simply applying extra pressure to ourselves that can result in anxiety.

Instead it can sometimes help to accept that things can't always be perfect. Based on one isolated incident you assume that all others will follow a similar pattern in the future. When enrolling on a college course, you meet a future classmate who you find irritating. As a result, you worry that everyone in the class will be the same and you won't make any friends.

Have you ever wondered "what if" something bad happens? What if I have a panic attack at the party? What if I don't make friends when I start my new job? This type of thought can often make us avoid going places or doing the things that we would like. Do you find that you attach negative labels to yourself?

I'm a waste of space. Labels like these really influence how we see ourselves and can heighten our anxiety levels. Do any of your unhelpful thoughts follow some of these patterns? Jot down any examples you can think of into the box below: The end of year exams are approaching.

Now you can challenge your unhelpful thoughts by asking these questions. Is there any evidence that contradicts this thought? Can you identify any of the patterns of unhelpful thinking described earlier?

What would you say to a friend who had this thought in a similar situation? Worrying about failing is doing me no good. I've always done well before so I should be fine, especially since I've prepared properly. Try to apply these questions to the unhelpful thoughts that you notice. It can help to reduce your anxiety levels. You can use this technique to test your thoughts are realistic and balanced.

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Try to list every way that you can think to overcome your problem. Don't worry about how unrealistic an idea seems. Write down anything and everything.

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The best solutions are likely to be the ones you think of yourself. This is because nobody really knows your situation as well as you do. It may help to consider: How you might have solved similar problems in the past. What your friends or family would advise. How you would like to see yourself tackling the problem.

As discussed earlier, socially anxious people often hold unhelpful thoughts about themselves and their ability in social situations e. I'm dull; I'm weird. This of course lowers their confidence and makes it harder to become involved in social situations. This, in turn, means they rarely get the chance to test out their social skills and prove they can interact well.

Unhelpful thoughts also typically play a damaging role just prior to people entering social environments as they predict they will perform poorly e. I'll have nothing to say. Similarly, unhelpful thoughts influence people during social situations e. I'm making a fool of myself , as they assume they are not coming across well.

To make matters worse, after social situations, people often analyse their performance and assume they have performed poorly. When considering these factors, it is easy to see how unhelpful thoughts stop people overcoming their social anxiety. As mentioned earlier, socially anxious people tend avoid social contact whenever possible. If they cannot avoid it, they tend to try and escape it as quickly as possible.

Although this is a very understandable way of coping with social anxiety, it is actually one of the main reasons that people find it hard to overcome. This is because by avoiding social situations, people stop themselves having positive experiences that could disprove some of their unhelpful thoughts. Furthermore, the longer someone avoids a social situation, the more daunting it becomes and it is increasingly difficult to face. Often, the only time that socially anxious people feel comfortable in social settings, is when they use what is known as 'safety behaviour'.

Examples of 'safety behaviours' include: Basically, a 'safety behaviour' is anything people do to try and make it easier to cope in social situations. Although such safety behaviours help people feel slightly better at the time, they are actually unhelpful strategies in the longer term. This is because, like avoidance, 'safety behaviours' stop people from having the opportunity to prove that they can cope well, without putting such precautions into place. Instead 'safety behaviours' allow people to put their successes down to other factors e.

Similarly, by remaining quiet during conversations, they never have the opportunity to show that they would have coped well had they became more involved. As a result, people's confidence remains low and their social anxiety remains. A final point worth noting is that 'safety behaviours' can result in what is known as self fulfilling prophecies.

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For example, by staying quiet in social situations, people may come across as 'distant' and others may respond by making less of an effort. As a result, their beliefs that they can't mix well remain in place. People who are socially anxious often spend a lot of time concentrating on their own bodily sensations during social interactions. Unfortunately, this too plays a part in keeping social anxiety going. For example, people often spend time trying to judge whether they are sweating, stammering, shaking or blushing during social situations.

Although they do so in the hope of being reassured that they are not noticeably anxious, this strategy actually just makes things much worse. This is because people tend to overestimate how visible their anxiety is and this of course makes them feel even more self conscious. Also, by focusing on themselves, it means that they are not fully focusing on the conversations going on around them. This makes it more difficult to join in properly and strengthens their beliefs that they are no good in such situations.

It is likely that a combination of these factors play a role in ensuring people's social anxiety continues. See overleaf for an illustration of how these factors can interact to keep our social anxiety going. I'm weird No-one likes me I'm not very funny. When we are shy or socially anxious it is common for us to spend a lot of time thinking about the future and predicting what could go wrong, rather than just letting things be.

In the end most of our predictions don't happen and we have wasted time and energy being worried and upset about them. You worry that you will go red, stammer, and that everyone will dislike you.

You assume that you will be the centre of attention and everyone will stare at you. These thoughts naturally make you anxious before you even arrive in a social situation. This means that you make assumptions about others' beliefs without having any real evidence to support them. He thinks I'm an idiot. They think I look ugly. Such ways of thinking can soon lower our mood and self-esteem.

When people are socially anxious or shy, they often take things to heart. Because a work colleague is quiet, you assume you have offended them and it is somehow your fault. You walk past a group who are laughing and assume the joke is at your expense. Based on one isolated incident you assume that all others will follow a similar pattern in the future. Because you believe that one presentation went badly, you assume all others will follow the same pattern, as opposed to seeing it as a one off.

Have you ever wondered "what if" something bad happens? What if nobody likes me? What if I run out of things to say? These thoughts also make you dread situations beforehand. After a social gathering, you tend to focus on the parts of the evening that you believe didn't go well. At the same time, you gloss over positive parts of the evening. You dwell on the one conversation which ran out of steam quickly, whilst forgetting the fact that you mingled well throughout the rest of the evening.

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Do you saddle yourself with negative labels? These, often long held beliefs about yourself, ensure your confidence and self-esteem remains low. Do any of your unhelpful thoughts follow some of these patterns? Jot down any examples you can think of into the box below: You are due to meet your friend's work colleagues. I'll have nothing to say and they'll think I'm an idiot! Now you can challenge your unhelpful thoughts by asking these questions. Is there any evidence that contradicts this thought?

How to overcome fear and anxiety | Mental Health Foundation

Can you identify any of the patterns of unhelpful thinking described earlier? I can't say for sure how it will go. I coped fine last week in a similar situation so hopefully this will be the same. If it doesn't go great it's not the end of the world.