Bullying - What Adults Need to Know and Do to Keep Kids Safe
She might want to protect you and herself from your reaction by not telling you about problems in the future or by denying that anything is wrong. Nowadays, teachers and school administrators are often fearful of lawsuits, both from the parents of the child who was victimized and from the parents of the child who was accused of causing the problem. At the same time, most teachers and school administrators are deeply dedicated to the wellbeing of their students and want to them to feel safe and happy at school.
Instead of jumping to conclusions or making assumptions, take time to get the whole story.
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Ask questions of your child in a calm, reassuring way and listen to the answers. Ask questions of other people who might be involved, making it clear that your goal is to understand and figure out how to address the problem rather than to get even with anybody. Once you understand the situation, it works best to look for solutions, not for blame. Is the problem caused because the school needs more resources in order to supervise children properly during recess and lunch, or before and after school?
Does your child need to learn skills for self-protection and boundary-setting by making and practicing a plan with you or by taking a class such as Kidpower? Does the school need help formulating a clear policy that makes behavior that threatens, hurts, scares, or embarrasses others against the rules with appropriate, balanced, and consistent consequences? Do the children who harmed your child need to learn about empathy and to develop skills for using their power in positive ways instead of negative ones?
Your highest priority is, of course, to protect your child as best you can. Try to step back for perspective and keep the big picture in mind as well as the immediate problem. What protecting your child means will vary depending on the ability of the school to resolve the problem, the nature of the problem, and on the specific needs of your child. Through a programs such as Kidpower, make sure your child has the chance to practice skills in order to walk away from people who being rude or threatening, to protect himself or herself emotionally and physically, and to ask for help sooner rather than later.
What Adults Need to Know About Personal Safety for Children
In some cases, protecting your child might mean that her teacher and school principal, the parents of the other child, and you all work on a plan together to stop the problem. In other cases, the best solution for your child might be to change schools.
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In extreme cases, you might want to explore legal action. If need be, explore the resources available in your community. You also want to prevent future problems. All children deserve to be in an environment that is emotionally and physically safe. Concerned parents can help schools find and implement age-appropriate programs that create a culture of respect, caring, and safety between young people rather than of competition, harassment, and disregard.
Finally, you want to get help for your child and for yourself to deal with the feelings that result from having had an upsetting experience.
What Adults Need to Know About Personal Safety for Children | Kidpower International
Sometimes bullying can remind you about bad experiences in your own past. Parents often have to deal with guilt for not preventing the problem, and sometimes struggle with rage. Getting help might mean talking issues over with other supportive adults who can listen to you and your child with perspective and compassion.
Getting help might mean going to a therapist or talking with counselors provided by the school or by other agencies.
Seven Solutions for Parents from Kidpower
Learn how to use Kidpower practices to create cultures of caring, respect, and safety at school, at home, and in your community. These vivid stories, entertaining examples, and clear step-by-step explanations of what to say and do are relevant for addressing bullying with all young people, from toddlers to teenagers, and are even useful in dealing with adult-to-adult bullying. According to best-selling author Gavin de Becker, "Kidpower has an exceptional track record in the field of personal safety and violence prevention. To learn more about Kidpower's workshops, consultation, and other educational resources, visit www.
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About Irene Van Der Zande As the executive director and founder of Kidpower Teenpower Fullpower International, author Irene van der Zande has empowered thousands of parents and other caring adults around the world to take charge of the emotional and physical safety of their kids and other loved ones.
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As a child who was bullied long ago, Irene promised herself that she would never forget what it was like to feel so alone, sad, and scared. She believes passionately that kids have the right to be safe and the responsibility to respect the safety of others. She is committed to giving adults the tools they need to create cultures of caring, respect, and safety for everyone, everywhere. Irene established Kidpower as a nonprofit organization in in partnership with educators, parents, mental health experts, child safety specialists, law enforcement officials, and other caring adults.