Little Black Book 2 (sWet 13)
Bernard's first effort comes to over 1, pages, covers Joseph Stalin , a lens grinder, a broken marriage, and a truth-seeking journalist — a bit complex for kids. The subsequent masterpiece, The Elephant and the Balloon, could bring them international fame—and all its problems. Meanwhile, Fran's hen party is a disaster: Manny's irritating parents, 'Moo-Ma' and 'Moo-Pa', unexpectedly come to stay after Bernard deletes Manny's answerphone messages. Bernard is instantly infuriated by their mere existence, not to mention their annoying quirks and songs, but his patience and Fran's nerves are tested when it's revealed that Manny's letters home have greatly embellished his actual accomplishments in life.
After a small win on the Grand National , Bernard becomes addicted to gambling, leaving Fran and Manny in a bitter competition to sell as many books as possible. Soon horses aren't enough and Bernard lands in an illegal poker game against a group of ruthless, successful gamblers, including Dave 'Mouse Ear' Smith. Manny organises a book launch party at the shop with charismatic-but-smug travel writer Jason, and everyone starts falling for him and his stories of far-away adventure.
Meanwhile, Bernard's landlord has died and a small cat now owns the building. Driven to destroy the cat's burgeoning real-estate empire, he attempts to persuade an animal-loving pest exterminator to turn kitty hitman. His attempts fail and cause the exterminator to commit suicide. When Bernard tries to finish the job, Manny is injured. From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.
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This page was last edited on 24 September , at By using this site, you agree to the Terms of Use and Privacy Policy. To date it remains unreleased in mainstream media. Dylan Moran , Graham Linehan. The actor Kevin Eldon as the cleaner. Guest stars Colin McFarlane as the detective. Nick Frost as the alarm installer, Peter Serafinowicz as Howell Granger, writer Graham Linehan as a fast-food customer, and Tony Way as the fast-food chain and cinema employee.
Omid Djalili as Trebor the photographer, and David Walliams as a customer. Nina Conti as Bernard's date. Dylan Moran , Arthur Mathews. Nugent, and Big Mick as Gus. Guest starring Mark Donovan as Cousin Gregor. Fran takes up Yoga with Eva Jessica Hynes and piously lectures everyone about how much better she feels, but she isn't as good at controlling her own urges. Meanwhile, Bernard discovers a copy of the complete works of Freud and begins tormenting Manny by diagnosing his various neuroses --but this leads to Manny gaining the confidence to finally stand up to him.
When around-the-clock building commences next door, Bernard, Manny and Fran decide to go on holiday. Manny wants adventure, Fran wants relaxation, and Bernard just wants somewhere exactly like the bookshop. They're quickly packed and ready to go—except for a lapse in Manny's memory, which forces them to buy cheap tickets that entitle them to see a lot of international airports. Simon Pegg as Evan. On a slow night, Manny suggests that the gang go to a party which will be attended by Rowena, a girl he likes. Instantly jealous, Bernard overcomes his natural reluctance with curiosity to see what kind of "so-called person" could find Manny attractive.
Manny arms himself with an array of items to strategically leave about the house to give him an excuse to call her, and Fran checks her perfect new hairstyle. They return much later armed with a bizarre selection of alcohol, messed-up hair, and a desire to dance badly. An excess of beetroot liqueur gives Manny the courage to confront Bernard regarding his disdain for Manny's affection for Rowena — this brings forth a shocking revelation from Bernard, which is soon tarnished as Fran tells Manny the truth about Bernard.
Why then have you deceived me? He served Laban for another seven years. For the women will call me happy"; so she named him Asher. Then Rachel said to Leah, "Please give me some of your son's mandrakes. Would you take away my son's mandrakes also? But now when shall I provide for my own household also? Every one that is not speckled and spotted among the goats and black among the lambs, if found with me, shall be counted stolen. Let it be as you have said. And since they bred when they came to drink, [ But the God of my father has been with me.
Now leave this land at once and return to the land of your birth. For he has sold us, and he has been using up the money given for us. Now Jacob had pitched his tent in the hill country, and Laban with his kinsfolk camped in the hill country of Gilead. You have deceived me, and carried away my daughters like captives of the sword. I would have sent you away with mirth and songs, with tambourine and lyre. What you have done is foolish. In the presence of our kinsfolk, point out what I have that is yours, and take it.
And he went out of Leah's tent, and entered Rachel's. Laban felt all about in the tent, but did not find them. Jacob said to Laban, "What is my offense? What is my sin, that you have hotly pursued me? Set it here before my kinsfolk and your kinsfolk, so that they may decide between us two. God saw my affliction and the labor of my hands, and rebuked you last night. But what can I do today about these daughters of mine, or about their children whom they have borne?
Thus says your servant Jacob, 'I have lived with Laban as an alien, and stayed until now; [ Where are you going? And whose are these ahead of you? So he divided the children among Leah and Rachel and the two maids. When they heard of it, the men were indignant and very angry, because he had committed an outrage in Israel by lying with Jacob's daughter, for such a thing ought not to be done.
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Now he was the most honored of all his family. Only let us agree with them, and they will live among us. Make an altar there to the God who appeared to you when you fled from your brother Esau. So it was called Allon-bacuth. Now the sons of Jacob were twelve. These were the sons of Jacob who were born to him in Paddan-aram. These are the sons of Esau who were born to him in the land of Canaan. These were the sons of Adah, Esau's wife.
Nahath, Zerah, Shammah, and Mizzah. These were the sons of Esau's wife, Basemath. The sons of Eliphaz the firstborn of Esau: Lotan, Shobal, Zibeon, Anah, [ Alvan, Manahath, Ebal, Shepho, and Onam. Aiah and Anah; he is the Anah who found the springs in the wilderness, as he pastured the donkeys of his father Zibeon. Dishon and Oholibamah daughter of Anah.
Hemdan, Eshban, Ithran, and Cheran. Bilhan, Zaavan, and Akan. Joseph, being seventeen years old, was shepherding the flock with his brothers; he was a helper to the sons of Bilhah and Zilpah, his father's wives; and Joseph brought a bad report of them to their father. Suddenly my sheaf rose and stood upright; then your sheaves gathered around it, and bowed down to my sheaf. Are you indeed to have dominion over us? Shall we indeed come, I and your mother and your brothers, and bow to the ground before you? Come, I will send you to them. He came to Shechem, [ The pit was empty; there was no water in it.
And they took Joseph to Egypt. A wild animal has devoured him; Joseph is without doubt torn to pieces. She was in Chezib when she bore him.
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So Tamar went to live in her father's house. She saw that Shelah was grown up, yet she had not been given to him in marriage. She said, "What will you give me, that you may come in to me? Now Joseph was handsome and good-looking. How then could I do this great wickedness, and sin against God? He came in to me to lie with me, and I cried out with a loud voice; [ Please tell them to me.
As soon as it budded, its blossoms came out and the clusters ripened into grapes. Pharaoh awoke, and it was a dream. Pharaoh told them his dreams, but there was no one who could interpret them to Pharaoh. When we told him, he interpreted our dreams to us, giving an interpretation to each according to his dream.
When he had shaved himself and changed his clothes, he came in before Pharaoh.
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I have heard it said of you that when you hear a dream you can interpret it. Never had I seen such ugly ones in all the land of Egypt. But when I told it to the magicians, there was no one who could explain it to me. They are seven years of famine. Thus Joseph gained authority over the land of Egypt. And Joseph went out from the presence of Pharaoh, and went through all the land of Egypt. There was famine in every country, but throughout the land of Egypt there was bread.
Pharaoh said to all the Egyptians, "Go to Joseph; what he says to you, do. And Joseph's brothers came and bowed themselves before him with their faces to the ground. They said, "From the land of Canaan, to buy food. He said to them, "You are spies; you have come to see the nakedness of the land! The rest of you shall go and carry grain for the famine of your households, [ Thus your words will be verified, and you shall not die. That is why this anguish has come upon us.
But you would not listen. So now there comes a reckoning for his blood. And he picked out Simeon and had him bound before their eyes. This was done for them. Then I will release your brother to you, and you may trade in the land. When they and their father saw their bundles of money, they were dismayed. Joseph is no more, and Simeon is no more, and now you would take Benjamin. All this has happened to me! Put him in my hands, and I will bring him back to you. If harm should come to him on the journey that you are to make, you would bring down my gray hairs with sorrow to Sheol.
Have you another brother?
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Could we in any way know that he would say, 'Bring your brother down'? If I do not bring him back to you and set him before you, then let me bear the blame forever. Carry back with you the money that was returned in the top of your sacks; perhaps it was an oversight. As for me, if I am bereaved of my children, I am bereaved. Then they went on their way down to Egypt, and stood before Joseph. So we have brought it back with us. We do not know who put our money in our sacks. Is he still alive? God be gracious to you, my son! So he went into a private room and wept there.
So they drank and were merry with him.
To be frank, a system this expensive (~$2,500) needs to be more forward-looking.
Why have you stolen my silver cup? Does he not indeed use it for divination? You have done wrong in doing this. Far be it from your servants that they should do such a thing! Then each one loaded his donkey, and they returned to the city. Do you not know that one such as I can practice divination? What can we speak? How can we clear ourselves? God has found out the guilt of your servants; here we are then, my lord's slaves, both we and also the one in whose possession the cup has been found.
Only the one in whose possession the cup was found shall be my slave; but as for you, go up in peace to your father. His brother is dead; he alone is left of his mother's children, and his father loves him. Only if our youngest brother goes with us, will we go down; for we cannot see the man's face unless our youngest brother is with us.
I fear to see the suffering that would come upon my father. Is my father still alive? He said, "I am your brother, Joseph, whom you sold into Egypt. Hurry and bring my father down here. Joseph gave them wagons according to the instruction of Pharaoh, and he gave them provisions for the journey. He is even ruler over all the land of Egypt. My son Joseph is still alive.
I must go and see him before I die. Reuben, Jacob's firstborn, [ Hanoch, Pallu, Hezron, and Carmi. Gershon, Kohath, and Merari. Tola, Puvah, Jashub, and Shimron. Sered, Elon, and Jahleel [ Imnah, Ishvah, Ishvi, Beriah, and their sister Serah. The children of Beriah: Heber and Malchiel [ Jahzeel, Guni, Jezer, and Shillem [ When they came to the land of Goshen, [ He presented himself to him, fell on his neck, and wept on his neck a good while. Now, we ask you, let your servants settle in the land of Goshen. They do not compare with the years of the life of my ancestors during their long sojourn.
The land of Egypt and the land of Canaan languished because of the famine. Why should we die before your eyes? For our money is gone. That year he supplied them with food in exchange for all their livestock. There is nothing left in the sight of my lord but our bodies and our lands. Buy us and our land in exchange for food. We with our land will become slaves to Pharaoh; just give us seed, so that we may live and not die, and that the land may not become desolate.
All the Egyptians sold their fields, because the famine was severe upon them; and the land became Pharaoh's. The land of the priests alone did not become Pharaoh's.
Do not bury me in Egypt.