His Wife, My Child

In the hours and days after the affair was discovered, Marcus said all the right things. When she returned, Marcus had already packed a bag, but she told him to stay for the night. It was agonizing for her. He is a good dad and loves his kids, and they love him.

Every night for the next two weeks, Marcus expected Rachel would throw him out. And every night, she told him to stay. Marcus was a good dad. If she left, it would have meant selling the house, sharing the dog—and, worst of all, being away from her children. I wanted to keep my family intact, even though it came at a personal price to my psychological well-being. I guess what it came down to is, I love my kids more than I dislike my husband. Stay or face the fact that I would be living at the poverty line?

Neither option was good. Parents who try to spare their kids the gory details of what Dad or Mom has done might have to tell a lot of white lies.

When do I automatically get responsibility for a child?

I am his first baby. I am his number one boy. And his two-year-old brother has tantrums. What is best for my child to hear? And try to act accordingly. Infidelity has multiple effects on kids, says Nogales. While researching her book, she conducted an online survey of adults whose parents had committed infidelity, mostly when the respondents were young.

She found that 88 percent of them were angered or hurt by the affair, and 76 percent felt personally betrayed by the cheating parent. Seventy-three percent said their own romantic relationships as adults were affected. Therapists warn that kids should never be pushed to take sides, even if your cheating ex is a lout.

Even if you tell kids they were not part of the problem, many will wonder whether they did something wrong. After the meaning behind the affair is decoded, couples must decide what the future holds. For some, like Rachel and Marcus, that means reinventing their deconstructed marriage. For others, like Alison, that means reinventing herself as a single mom, and finding support and community alone. And for some rare couples, the shakeup of an affair may lead to a rejuvenated relationship.

The Case for Putting My Wife Before My Children | Babble

Ginny learned he had been lying to his lover, too, telling her he was divorced. Even worse, he was an alcoholic and abusive. The parents of two kids in Colorado decided to get serious help. Richard enrolled in six weeks of rehab, and after that, they both spent four weeks seeing therapists separately from each other. Then they started eight months of intensive twice-a-week marriage counselling—a major commitment. Through therapy, they were able to trace the origins of the affair and drinking to a serious bout of cancer Richard had gone through.

A healthy marriage is the cornerstone of the home.

And Richard was set on changing his ways. He found an accountability app and installed it on both of their phones, allowing Ginny to track his whereabouts and phone activity for a year. He woke up to his alcoholism and mental issues at long last. For Rachel and Marcus, their healing has meant managing the home and parenting together as friends—but not romantic partners. After Marcus had another short affair, deeply hurting Rachel yet again, they both decided on a new policy: It was me who suggested we open things up.

What happens after the affair—when you have kids

Seeing a therapist has helped, too. Some days I think I deserve so much more. I used to lean on him to be my rock. Couples struggling with the aftermath of infidelity often agonize over what to tell the kids.

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Many will be tempted to keep it a secret. But often, kids already know more than they let on. Kids often feel personally hurt by revelations of an affair, and they might feel pressured to keep embarrassing details a secret, says psychologist Ana Nogales. What exactly to say depends on their age. Avoid making accusations and emphasize that the adults are going to take care of the problem. They are usually judgmental and not prepared to understand how Dad or Mom betrayed the family. If they ask direct questions, you can be more specific—up to a point.

I can assure you that I love you and that I will be here for you.

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• Infidelity: What happens after the affair—when you have kids.
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If parents decide to stay together, they need to know their kids are watching them carefully, says Nogales. Children will be fearing abandonment and will need lots of reassuring. And remember that any promise you make needs to be followed through on—kids need to know they can trust their parents.

Before them, it was us.

Cheating often spells the end of a relationship. Dos -Reassure your partner you love them. She suggests a kind but firm email. Avoid meeting in person, as that may stir up attraction again. How did the affair make you feel—playful, alive, relaxed? The series then aired in reruns on Centric on October 12, In Late , the series reruns on Aspire and Fuse. In the United Kingdom, reruns of the series were aired on Channel One formally known as Virgin1 until its closure on February 1, Sister channel Living also used to air the show in Currently reruns of the series are on 5Star and Comedy Central.

In May , the series started on Viva. From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. List of My Wife and Kids episodes. This section describes a work or element of fiction in a primarily in-universe style. Please help rewrite it to explain the fiction more clearly and provide non-fictional perspective. June Learn how and when to remove this template message. Retrieved January 9, Archived from the original on September 30, Archived from the original on November 15,