The Turmoil of Someone Elses Drinking

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Want to Read Currently Reading Read. Refresh and try again. Open Preview See a Problem? Thanks for telling us about the problem. Return to Book Page. This book is written for anyone who is suffering because of the turmoil created by someone else's drinking. Inside is a guidebook, filled with valuable information about the disease that is alcoholism, and about how to take back control of your life and learn how to be happy again.

Written by Margaret Joyce, PhD, herself married to an alcoholic, The Turmoil of Someone Else This book is written for anyone who is suffering because of the turmoil created by someone else's drinking. Joyce gives specific steps to take and exercises one can do to manage the effects wrought by alcoholism on a family and on relationships.

If you are suffering, or you know someone who is suffering, don't wait. Buy this book and begin the steps towards healing. Kindle Edition , 61 pages. To see what your friends thought of this book, please sign up. Lists with This Book. This book is not yet featured on Listopia. Apr 02, Christine rated it it was ok. For me, this book had very little to offer. However, if you suffer from low self esteem this book may be just what you need.

Mar 10, rhonda smith rated it really liked it. Most helpful for me This is the best book on living with an alcoholic I have read. I liked this the best because it focuses on the loved one not the alcoholic. Feb 02, Jodi spillane rated it really liked it. Great easy read Very informative! I found this book to be very insightful! The author wrote in a way that made me feel like she was talking directly to me about me and my life!

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They get the idea that you approve of their habits and that it is okay to carry on as they currently are. Let them face the music, so they realize how alcohol is damaging their lives and relationships. Alcoholism is an expensive habit to sustain. So the need for funds to sustain the addiction is always present.

As sad as it may sound, an alcoholic will stoop to lying to obtain funds from you. When you take part in these drinking sessions, you encourage his or her habit. Someone who has an alcohol use disorder is most likely to be in a denial mode. He or she just live from one drink to another. How to make someone stop drinking? YOU are the only person who can make your child, partner, friend, parent, or sibling realize how they are destroying their lives. How to support an alcoholic?

YOU are the only person who can persuade your friend or a family member to accept the help that is just a call away. So make sure you approach the job with the right mindset.

The more you learn about the nature of alcohol abuse and addiction, their neurological roots, and how alcohol works on the mind and psyche of a person who abuses alcohol, the more you can empathize with your loved one and understand what he or she is going through. Addiction is not a moral flaw. It is the result of a complex interplay between genes, hormones, and the environment.

When you get the facts straight, you can be compassionate when you confront a loved one who is an alcoholic. On the contrary, displaying compassion and understanding can encourage an alcoholic to confide in you about the stresses that may have made him or her seek refuge in drinking. You are not responsible for a person choosing to carry on drinking or not seeking help.

In fact, the more you blame yourself, the more stressed you can become. What is more, your loved one can manipulate you and work on your feelings of guilt to extract money out of you. You may want to tell a loved one how alcohol is harming his or her physical and mental health. Or you may want to make him or she realizes that addiction is just another disorder like diabetes or cancer that needs medical treatment.

Whatever you want to say during the confrontation, it helps if you plan in advance. This ensures you can come up with the most persuasive statement. Preparation lets you go over what you want to say during the confrontation and ensure that you speak only from a place of compassion. Do not stress by expecting results right after the first meeting. Do not expect an alcoholic to call in on an addiction counselor or visit a rehab clinic right after talking with you. Instead believe that by confronting your alcoholic loved one, you are opening the channels of communication.

You are giving him or her the chance to mull over the problem and feel motivated to quit alcohol. By showing that you care, you are assuring the person that you have only his or her best interests in mind. So in a later meeting, he or she will be more receptive to your suggestions.

Confronting an alcoholic is challenging. One thoughtless comment can send the person back to his or her world of demons and darkness. One misplaced remark can close the doors of communication forever. It is up to you to steer the confrontation, so you can persuade him or her to seek professional help to give up alcohol. Confronting an alcoholic can be very risky if the confrontation is not properly planned and prepared.

How To Help An Alcoholic Who Doesn't Want Help

One thoughtless comment can make the situation more difficult to handle. It will be harder to persuade the person to give up alcohol and seek professional help. The presence of alcohol in system clouds thoughts and makes a person unable to think straight. So confronting an alcoholic when he or she is drunk is not a good idea. He or she will not be able to appreciate your motivations.

Nor will the person be able to figure out what is good for him or her. Do not turn the meeting into a blame game. Same if you are trying to help an alcoholic wife, sibling, or adult child. Think for a moment.

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Would you blame someone for catching an infection or having cancer? Hark back to what you learned about addiction and how quickly abuse turns into addiction and be compassionate.

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Blaming an alcoholic will make him or her feel bitter and distraught. He or she might even drink more to quell the surge of negative emotions. Instead, steer the conversation towards yourself. This will make the other person more comfortable and more willing to hear you out. Explain to the person how his or her habits have affected you — the mental and emotional stress you are going through and the additional physical and economic burden that you have had to take on. Explain how his or her drinking habits have strained the relationship you share.

If you are trying to help an alcoholic family member , gently point out how often he is not home or how she hardly cares about spending time with you or the kids. Often alcoholics are swayed more by the effects of their addiction on their loved ones than those effects on their health or jobs.

An addict might want to wiggle out of the conversation by falsely promising that he or she will give up alcohol. High-functioning alcoholics especially are known to be master manipulators. A confrontation with an alcoholic can turn into a stressful situation for you too. An alcoholic might blame you for his or her addiction or suggest that you are blowing the situation out of proportion. During a confrontation, you might be upset or hurt. He or she may push your buttons.

Always try to keep in mind where the other person is coming from. If an alcoholic is in a denial mode, he or she will have constructed rational-sounding reasons why they think you are over-reacting. Also, remember that an alcoholic is someone who is physically dependent on alcohol ; he or she has to drink to relax, to steady the nerves, and to feel that life is under control.

What To Do When An Alcoholic Blames You

For alcoholics, quitting alcohol means losing a companion or a refuge, not to mention having to go through a number of unpleasant withdrawal symptoms that can make their lives feel like they are living in hell. It is no wonder that most alcoholics react aggressively at the mere suggestion that they stop drinking. Remember what you are doing — trying to help someone with an alcohol problem. You risk making him or her angry enough to walk away.

If that happens, you may never be able to broach the subject with them again. Besides, if you are calm, the person in front of you may eventually calm down himself or herself, and then you will have succeeded in creating another window of opportunity to make your point. You can only try. After all, you are dealing with a human being. There is no formula to how his or her mind works. He or she may react to the same situation in different ways, depending on factors that can be as diverse and incomprehensible to you as how their day went or when he or she had their last drink.

As someone you love and care for, it can be difficult for you to be firm or objective with him or her. As a result, you may not succeed in persuading your alcoholic friend or family member to seek professional help.