The Potty Partner - Medical and Doctor Jokes

He made a spectacle of himself. My favorite is a true story. When I introduced myself as the on-call neurologist, the very southern-sounding nurse loudly exclaimed:. Do you remember this song? A group of physicians are duck hunting. The intern sees a duck, aims his rifle, leads the duck with his first shot, trails it with his next shot and hits with his third.

I think that it was probably a duck. The radiologist sees a duck, aims a shotgun, hits the duck, and turns to the group. It may be a duck, pheasant, or quail. Cannot exclude a pterodactyl at this point. I think I should shoot it again, but with a scoped rifle next time. The emergency physician spots a duck flying the marsh and aims a huge, automatic combat shotgun, unloading two full magazines into the air, as the other physicians take cover behind him.

A proctologist had been in practice for 20 years and had settled into a very comfortable life with his future very secure. So he decided to fulfill his REAL dream and become an auto mechanic. Confused, he asked the teacher why his score was so high. If you struggle to memorize medical terms, take a look at this cheat sheet to make things a little bit easier — and funnier — for you:.

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Back door to cafeteria Barium: What doctors do when patients die. Searching for kitty Cauterize: Made eye contact with her Coma: Not a friend ER: The things on your head that you hear with. The sequel has Barry the strawberry creature swallowing a USB and pooping it out. Delgo , being somewhat schizophrenic in its attempts to decide exactly which demographic it was trying to appeal to, naturally stooped to a bit of this. In particular is a scene in which an animal that, though it previously averted All Animals Are Dogs , proceeded to lift its leg in dog-like fashion to pee on a man, which was apparently included for no other reason than to appeal to small children and the hard of thinking.

Pumbaa gets out and all the bubbles vanish. When Moana is mad at the ocean, she tells it, "Fish pee in you! A very mild form of this trope: Disney's The Wild had lots of poop jokes, when they weren't focusing on slapstick humor. Vanellope Von Schweetz is fond of this kind of humor, and she thinks that that the Hero's Duty game sounds like "Hero's Doody". It's not that kind of Duty! We are the North Wind.

16 Hilarious Doctor Jokes Because Laughter Really Is The Best Medicine

And no one, no-one , breaks the wind. During a party in Amadeus , Mozart does some humorous impressions. When Salieri in disguise asks, "Do Salieri", Mozart launches into a snorting, gibberish-laden parody while playing "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" that ends with a truly epic fart.

Of course, it's not played so much for humour as for the sake of reinforcing Salieri's animosity towards Mozart. And given what we know about the Real Life Mozart see the Music section , it seems he really did enjoy that kind of humour. The sequel takes things even further. Of course these movies are the gay variation of American Pie. There are two kinds of jokes in the Austin Powers movies.

Duck Jokes

If it's not making fun of the spy genre, it's this. Each of the Back to the Future movies had at least one scene where one or more villains ended up covered in manure. It was kind of a Running Gag. The epic campfire scene in Blazing Saddles features a crew of cowboys eating beans and delivering a storm of farts and belches. The scene was actually considered edgy in its day. It's rather surreally subverted by the early television broadcasts of the film though, as the sound effects for that scene were removed by the censors, leaving a two-minute sequence of cowboys sat round campfires eating and periodically standing up then sitting again, while the fires flare slightly.

Later versions had horses whinnying when they stood up, which was even more surreal. Taken Up to Eleven when Carl recognizes it as a candy bar, but the stuffy country club owners don't.

The trailer for The Change Up is filled with it, most notably a baby shitting on Jason Bateman 's face with an added pause of it happening. Dark Star has a minor scene where Lt. Doolittle offhandedly mentions that a storage area self-destructed and destroyed the ship's entire supply of toilet paper. The Diary of a Wimpy Kid movies: The first one has Fregley chasing Greg with a booger.

Drop Dead Fred includes a scene where he tracks dog poop on the carpet with his shoes. Dumb And Dumberer has a scene with Harry accidentally smearing melted chocolate all over a bathroom, which then is of course mistaken for something else. It also turns it Up to Eleven with the whole scene involving making use of a broken toilet One of the suggestions for a book is some asparagus children who are self-conscious about the smell of their pee. Leon the snowman doesn't like dogs because he thinks they make Yellow Snow. Buddy finds elf toilets too small. The rats cleaning the toilet with toothbrushes during the cleanup song.

The dog peeing on Edward's shoe. Pip pooping after Nathaniel says, "Oh poo". Nathaniel getting troll snot on his hand. Evan Almighty loves making bird poop jokes. If you see a bird on screen, something will be stained. In The Flintstones , as part of the Rubbles' streak of bad luck, their car gets wrecked by piss from an overhead pterodactyl. In George of the Jungle , the villain does an utterly gratuitous faceplant in a heap of elephant dung.

The movie then epically redeems itself: Bad guy falls in poop! Classic element of physical comedy! Now comes the part where we throw our heads back and laugh! My grandmother once said, "Holden, the real money is in dick and fart jokes. In the Amber Brown books, part of the reason that Amber Brown and her best friend, Justin, are such good friends is their shared sense of humor, including a fondness for this. Then his death is described in excruciating detail - he becomes trapped in a portable chemical toilet when the air-raid siren goes.

Deciding to cross his fingers and sit it out - well, squat it out - he chooses wrongly and the whole lavatory is seen bowling across the airstrip, propelled by a hail of cannon and machine-gun fire from a strafing German plane. In The BFG , where the titular Big Friendly Giant explains how he hates human soda, which has rising bubbles, thus causing the drinker to burp. Burping is phenomenally rude to giants, so instead they drink frobscottle, which has bubbles that sink, thus causing the drinker to The film takes this and runs with it: Cue the Oh, Crap!

Found in, of all things, The Bible. Yes, the holy one but only in certain translations - the original Hebrew is somewhat euphemistic, and of course no one wants to make a poop joke in the middle of one of God's awesome feats. In 1 Kings 18, Elijah goes up against the prophets of Baal to determine whose God is true.

Toilet Humour

When Baal fails to answer, Elijah begins taunting the other prophets, suggesting that perhaps Baal is simply busy, turned aside to do his business on the side of the road, and if they'll just shout a little louder, perhaps he'll answer them naturally, he doesn't. Lampshaded in A Brother's Price: Two people talk, in a tasteful and inoffensive way, about the building of indoor privies and the technology involved, as it is relatively new.

It is mentioned that one of the participants enjoys the "innocent rudeness" of this conversation.

The Canterbury Tales mixes in several tales of bawdy, scatalogical humor amongst more devout tales, for example with "The Miller's Tale", which involves a gag where a man farts directly into another man's face. Dav Pilkey's Captain Underpants books have large amounts of it, which is most often evident from their titles alone, although they also balance it with a healthy dose of social satire.

It takes up several pages. There's also a bedwetting joke. The children's book Dave is about a farting cat. The Diary of a Wimpy Kid books have a few toilet jokes. Dirty Bertie is full of this, because the main character has dirty preferences. The Divine Comedy , particularly in Inferno , has several passages which indulge in discussion of wallowing in feces, staring at one's own gluteus, and the like.

The kids' book Excuse Me is about a Funny Animal sheep named Martha May who holds in her farts because she "doesn't make rude noises", resulting in her getting so much gas she floats up into the air.

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One kids' book called Farley Farts is about a frog who farts a lot. This conversation from the Fudge book "Double Fudge". It was thiiiiis long. Three times, all on purpose.

You are a very strange woman. But why didn't you call out to us? Had my mouth full. Sylver chose not to delve any further into this line of enquiry. The 2 Broke Girls episode "And the Hold-Up" has two characters get so afraid they wet themselves in public. After Caroline wets herself in the first one, the other characters tease her , until it's finally lampshaded: I don't think there are any more jokes we can make about it. Hey Caroline, what's that movie you're going to see rated?

He who spelt it, dealt it. I wrote all the Fart Doctors! What are you— Lutz: Don't look at me! It would seem that there is no law of diminishing returns on toilet humor. For us, it is a mundane and functional item. For you, the basis of an entire culture! I thought we were going to keep it in the family, not bring in any more cops. He's not a cop, Cliff's a former marine. He served with Danny in Fallujah. Cliff was the surveillance ears tracking Saddam Hussein in Baghdad. Believe me, Saddam farted, Cliff could tell you what kind of kebab he had for lunch.

Goat was a deep bass, poultry a more squeaky treble. And that's qualifications for-? How do you even know that phrase? Excuse me, do you mind not farting while I'm saving the world? Good luck, uncle Jesse, and, uh, don't forget to put the seat down. I walk and think, and then I walk and think some more, and then I walk some more until I am far enough away that no one can see me shitting my guts out.

Men use them for safe sex. The boy looks at the display and notices there are packs of three condoms. He points to them and says, "Why are there three in those packets? The Dad replies, "Those are for high-school boys - there's one for Friday, one for Saturday and one for Sunday. The Dad answers, "Those are for college men.

There are two for Friday, two for Saturday and two for Sunday. The Dad sighs sadly and says, "Those are for married men.

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One for January, one for February, one for March There's nothing worse than looking down after sex and seeing that limp, used condom hanging off your penis. A young married couple had just finished having sex. The woman asked her husband, "If I got pregnant, what would we call the baby? He took off his condom and tied a knot in it.

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Then he flushed it down the toilet and said, "Well, if he can get out of that, we'll call him Houdini. A young couple had just finished having fantastic sex. Afterwards, the young woman looked in the box of condoms and saw that there were only six left out of the original twelve.

She asked her boyfriend, "What happened to the five other condoms? The next day the woman went to one of her male friends and told him what had happened. Then she said to him, "Have you ever done that? I went on a date last week and the girl I met invited me back to her place for coffee afterwards. As she pulled my trousers and boxer shorts down and swung her leg over me I said, "Before you stick that in there, aren't you forgetting something? It's the first time for me and my girlfriend but the condom has split and now we don't know what to do.

I always get really embarrassed when someone comes into the men's washroom when I'm in there trying to get a condom. I said, "Like that time I forgot to wear a condom and ended up with an ungrateful little sod in my life. When I was in school, we got the facts of life talk from our Biology teacher and he showed us how to put on a condom.