The Turtle-Girl from East Pukapuka

Describe your issue Have a question not already answered in the links at left or on our main FAQ page? The fates of a little girl, a Loggerhead Sea Turtle, an injured downhill skier, a salvage boat owner, a blond policewoman, a pair of pirates, a shark god and a cannibal collide on the tsunami-ravaged island of East Pukapuka. The island of East Pukapuka lies in the path of a tsunami that will kill everyone but Butter, a little girl more worried about the lives of the injured animals she cares for than her own.

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Butter is rescued by a Loggerhead Sea Turtle who carries her away on his back. When he heals enough to leave the rehab facility, Dante heads to Polynesia, where he has found a home in his dreams. There he encounters Ophelia, a beautiful blond policewoman who reluctantly agrees to transport him to East Pukapuka. Jope and Ratu, a pair of bumbling pirates, steal a vessel laden with cocaine.

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Even the gods are incompetent. His characters are fatally flawed, hilarious, and heartbreakingly human.

June 21, Words: Learn more about Cole Alpaugh. And they might have thought the American wearing bib number fifty-five—the hot-shot young cowboy—was referring to the course, or maybe the few fat snowflakes set free from a single dark cloud directly above. But Dante was seeing the curious seagulls framed by a great black monster when he caught a whiff of perfume that had been trapped somewhere in his long underwear since the night before. It was already a fond memory, what with all the wonderfully dirty things the girl had allowed him to do to her.

Her smell had been sweet and fruity, and Dante was smiling as he and his skis launched into the frigid Swiss air at sixty miles per hour, headed for a tight grove of pine trees. Dante was helpless against the mighty wind and roar that began his ascent.

He sniffed for the girl from last night, but was distracted by salt on his lips. He licked them and tasted the sea. A recurring lack of focus was forever his albatross.

The coach shook a ski pole, pointing at Dante from an especially tricky section of the course. A downhiller needs to be focused. A downhiller who expects to live, anyway. He opened his mouth wide, frigid air puffing his cheeks, and his lips vibrated and tickled insanely. The orange safety netting protecting the last turn of the Lauberhorn would have done its job had Dante not been soaring out of control, twenty feet above its reach. Two puncture wounds, an eye nearly put out.

They had been turned in by an Amazonian camp nurse, whose betrayal was almost made forgivable by her spectacular boobs that brushed your naked chest and arms. The last to bail out of the launch spot won the point, sometimes paying with his own blood.

But it was totally worth it. A little creative twist on a tedious game had resulted in the group having to wash breakfast dishes for the remainder of the session.

He made a mental note to run an idea past his agent—a photo of him launching into the sky over Wengen, showing thumbs up, smiling, knowing he would land safely. Maybe even the girl from last night could be tucked under his arm, Superman and Lois Lane-like, for a new ad campaign. And then Dante heard the collective gasp from the thirty-thousand spectators below, knowing this life or death thing must surely be only an instant away.

You May Also Like. July 1st, Tags: Coming-of-Age , Fiction , Humor. Read on for an excerpt: Coming-of-Age , Fiction , Humor Comments are closed.