How To Pick Up Women Like An A**Hole

May help ya get some but won't lead to anything more. Don't waste you're time unless you're out of other books to read.

Jul 28, Coleen Murphy added it. I do have a new understanding of the "enemy". Feb 29, Drew Terry rated it liked it Recommends it for: Someone looking for a laugh or an asshole, lol. I needed a good laugh when I bought this. Jun 09, Michael rated it really liked it. It was very funny. It is a very good read for guys. I don't think women would enjoy reading this book at all. Jun 07, Justin rated it it was ok. This is thus far the worst of the "fraterism" books I have read. The entire script seemed very forced, as if the authors did not really no where they were going next.

Kind of like this review. Mar 26, Greg Garcia rated it it was ok Recommends it for: May 02, Robert Haight rated it it was amazing Shelves: An incredibly funny book Elements of truth taken to the farthest extereme. Feb 01, Scott rated it it was ok.

15 Things You Can Do To Stop Attracting A-Holes | TheTalko

More of a normal dating guide with some ass hole stuff thrown in. I already knew all this stuff, but it had some funny moments. Nov 13, Art rated it it was amazing. This is a truly funny book.

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It really tells how assholes pick up women. I could not put it down. Frank Kaestner rated it liked it Sep 07, Steven rated it really liked it Jan 31, Kenneth Sousa rated it liked it Dec 31, You don't have to wear something expensive, but just put on a flattering outfit that fits well, and look like you've showered earlier that day. Have a killer opening. Once you've come up to the girl, you have to make sure you say and do the right thing so you hook her interest. If you start off on the wrong foot, it may be hard to recover, so you should make a good impression as soon as you can.

If you're not relaxed when you join her, she'll know it in a second and will be turned off. Remind yourself that the worst thing that can happen is that she rejects you. Can you survive that? Don't use a pick up line. Unless you think she has a really silly sense of humor, avoid any common pick up lines like, "You must be tired, because you've been running through my mind all night. Make it clear that you're hitting on her. Though you'll need to charm her friends because their approval will be important to her, you should make it clear that you want her attention, not that you're the kind of guy who approaches a group of eight women hoping that just one of them will want him even if this is the case.

Just say, "Mind if I join you? I'd love to buy you a drink. Tell her your name, and if you want to be cute and formal, you can even shake her hand. Make her feel like the most amazing woman in the world. People want to feel special. Don't feed her corny lines about how hot she is. Instead, let her know that you think she's a unique chick and do in an authentic way. Ask her questions about herself.

Don't pry or get personal. Just ask her a few questions about herself, like what she loves to do, if she likes her neighborhood, or even her favorite sports teams or TV shows. You don't want to walk away and have the girl think, "Wow, he doesn't know one thing about me. He obviously just wanted to talk to me because he thought I was hot. Show that her opinion matters. Just ask her some light-hearted questions about what she thinks of the cocktails at the bar you're at, or even if she likes your new shoes.

See a Problem?

Don't be afraid to compliment her even if you think she's heard it all before. If she's beautiful, interesting, or has a great sense of humor, tell her. If you're casual and honest about it, you won't overwhelm her. The key to picking up a woman is not only making her enjoy talking to you, but to make her think, "Hey, this is awesome -- I want more of this.

Show her what makes you special. Without showing off, tell her at least two or three things that will make her want to get to know you. Did you teach yourself Japanese or spend a year on a motorcycle in Rio? Just don't make anything up. Find some common bonds. Find something you have in common, whether it's your love for college basketball or Mexican food, that you can talk about.

Don't make her think, "I love talking to this guy, but I just don't think it'll go anywhere because we don't have anything in common. Show her that you're a guy who reads the paper and knows what's going on in the world. Without being boring, tell her a random fact that caught your eye recently. Be yourself -- to a point. This means that you should show her who you really are instead of putting up a phony front, but that you should also tone down the more unique parts of your personality until she gets to know you better, or she may be thrown off.

Don't be a poser. Don't act like you're this hot shot who gets a lot of women. Just be a cool guy who wants to get to know her. Don't talk about all the other girls in your life, or she'll think, then why is he talking to me? Show her who you are. Tell her a bit about your interests, what you do on the weekends, or mention that awesome trip you took to Tahoe with your buddies.

The girl should have a sense of who you are besides that guy who is hitting on her. Remember that you're not with your bros. Though she can get to know you for real later, hold off on the crass jokes, or the stories that might make you come off in an unflattering light. But before we get started, please get your parents' help to cut out and assemble your Don Diebel Lady Slaying glasses to decode the letters in D. Many men are too unfuckable to meet women but too cowardly to buy a human-like doll. This creates a volatile storm of unsatisfied urges capable of overpowering a mind already fragile from loneliness.

They start to see vaginas as the prizes at the center of mazes guarded by evil lady minotaurs.

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After a man spends too much time in imaginary vagina mazes, they decide they must be experts, so they write advice books for other aspiring minotaur hunters. Some of the shyest, most unused penises are attached to men of sanity, but with enough self-importance to share their theoretical "dating methods. They write basic, obvious advice for an audience that knows even less about romance, which is a demographic any census taker would describe as "N-no! This number is forbidden!!!

Some pickup gurus are certain that seduction is a metaphysical sport played with body language, mind powers, and subliminal messaging. These authors have absolutely tried hypnotizing someone into sex slavery, watched it fail, and then wrote a book on how to do it anyway. Not all pickup artist books are written by lonely stupids. Some are written by single-minded men who have reduced human relationships to a repeatable theatrical procedure that ends in casual sex. Guides like this include field-tested and potentially effective tips to seem interesting enough to meet women.

They are perfect for getting girls with low self-esteem to regret their mistakes with you before you die alone, your funeral attended only by the epidemiologist who gave your rotting groin mound the nickname "Lil' Patient Zero.

Follow the Authors

Now that we know the D. To recreate the unpredictability of women in the wild, the entries are in no particular order. The title of this book is a bit confusing. So the author has already face-planted into the most tired cliche of the no-pussy-getting community, and we're not even past the title yet. The book itself has no page numbers, and the author splinters every basic etiquette tip into dozens of numbered and unnumbered bullet points, so navigating the thing is like sitting in a Chinese dumpster and frantically opening cookies.

Except no, I'm making it sound too coherent.

The Complete A**hole's Guide to Handling Chicks

This book consists of the self-published ramblings of a pickup artist whose greatest sexual conquest is sharing a toothbrush with his aunt on a camping trip. These are the below-average observations of a love expert who ran out of ideas halfway into his first boner. If you hatched from an alien pod and squirted, " Blup! It's not so much that the author is wrong or dumb or helplessly unable to proofread. He is, sure, but it's more notable that there is literally no way to know less than him about picking up women. These are the very first thoughts to enter an unimaginative boy's mind.

And how do you type this badly when your fingers have never once been distracted by a clitoris? This book, no matter what your level of experience, is as pointless as one of the author's erections. Here's some more advice from the very same page. Again, I think it's somewhere in the 30s, and again, I was careful to preserve all of his childlike mistakes. The entire goddamn book is like this. He has the grammar of a disappointing four-year-old and the clumsy typing skills of a frequent masturbator who has relied too heavily on Pornhub's predictive text.

It's like he accidentally printed the iPhone notes he wrote in the corner during his only trip to a bar. To make matters worse, the stupid fuck can't keep track of what advice he's already given, so every other page offers up the insider chick hound tips of "making eye contact," "asking questions," and "acting confident. Being the actual dumbest son of a bitch alive couldn't explain this level of forgetfulness. It's as if he has multiple personalities, but every single one of them is a virgin author. The closest this guy ever came to a dating insight was when he thought to scratch off the little face before he had sex with a jar of baby food.

It's not unusual for self-published authors to be unhinged dipshits with no idea what they're talking about, but this guy has a fun quirk. He's writing a book for desperate losers to act more like douchebags for the purposes of not quite sexually assaulting drunk women, yet he puts little asterisks in the words "pussy" and "asshole" as if he's in church.

His mortal enemies are women who reject him, and he can't bring himself to call them anything worse than "witches. The endgame of this book is to get balls-deep in many strangers. If we're on board for that, does he really think we're going to be offended by a fully spelled "pussy"?

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You cute little bitch, that's like refusing to eat a hitchhiker with a salad fork. And speaking of successful, I want to share a passage from page maybe 90? I knew I had to learn more, so I Googled him. I can't speak to his popularity as a TV star, but the search engine's algorithm placed him as slightly less famous than a genealogy link to dead people who shared his name.

But it did lead me to his YouTube channel , which at the time of this writing literally has more videos than subscribers. Willis has made dozens, maybe hundreds of videos for aspiring sex participants, and each of them has about 40 views. It's like he's trying to build a shrine to his own loneliness so grand that his penis can qualify for disability benefits.

Imagine if Willis was to really meet a woman and she saw his YouTube page. This guy's entire media presence is like a bog of sorrow swallowing up the self-worth of any woman gross enough to touch him. Willis would have tripled his chances of getting laid if instead of making 20 million unwatched videos on approaching women and dealing with rejection, he just dug mannequins out of the trash until he found one that came to life.

He's actually more amazing than depressing, because you normally can't be this bad at something without it killing you. Super Seducer is a PC game meant to teach the player how to get women in any environment. It's more like an interactive workplace harassment video in which you play the role of "What Not To Do. Each part starts with a live-action skit of a bad actress who makes worse career decisions who is going about her day pretending not to see the creep approaching her.

Then the video pauses and you, the creep, choose what to do. It might surprise you that a choose-your-own adventure PC game about banging chicks didn't attract the greatest writing talent, but almost all the options are either obviously wrong or pure lunacy. For instance, if you accost a woman in the grocery store, do you A: Offer a standing 69 by the ethnic food, B: Suggestively insert a banana in your anus, C: Whisper you have a knife, D: Remove your face and teeth, or E: