Diamond Love Finally Mr. Right Not Mr. Right Now (Invisible Currents Book 1)

The biggest problem with the book is all the directionless flashbacks. They're both unnecessary and kill the pacing dead. Worse, there are at least two times when they are deliberately used as a cliffhanger at a climactic moment—i. Which had the effect of making it hard to decide if I should resent Morgan for being a manipulative jerk or disc While the characters and situation are interesting, Morgan makes some choices that rob the story of much of its impact. Which had the effect of making it hard to decide if I should resent Morgan for being a manipulative jerk or discount her as a cutesy hack.

And yeah, that's rather harsh and I'll come down off that emotional anger eventually and admit her characters are interesting and their banter is good and Morgan does an excellent job presenting dialogue and actions that let the reader clearly see both the sincerity and the misread on both sides of a conflicted scene. And that's truly hard to do. But that doesn't mean I'm ever going to give her a pass on those dreadful flashbacks and the pace-killing intrusion they represent. It really came home when I realized I was a third of the way through the book and still waiting for the good stuff to start which, hey, FBI guy and cat burglar girl, there should be action.

So this was vying for three stars on the strength of seeing Grant and Pen together until I realized that Morgan also had her thumb on the scale with Pen's emotional landscape. Pen has the "I love him" realization four or five times towards the end of the book including in a flashback from a year ago. Most people really only need that to happen once and frankly, dragging it across the reader's consciousness more than that makes Pen look kind of stupid.

So this is maybe a 2. A note about Steamy: There's an explicit sex scene and it's very well handled. So this is on the low end of my steam tolerance, but with bonus points for drawing me into Grant and Pen and being such a sweet culmination. The only real bad thing is that it happens in a flashback. View all 4 comments. Mar 26, Francoise rated it really liked it Shelves: She is a mouthy, sassy and fascinating badass heroine, a highly skilled jewel thief. In theory, her husband is her enemy, her nemesis, who should be willing to catch her if he can.

But they have been married for one year and he has never done a thing to hurt her. Their emotional connection is intense. Grant is smoking hot, self-assured, shrewd and incredibly perceptive. He is very good at hiding his emotions, though, and Penelope still questions his motivation. After all, he could be the definition of deep undercover!

I loved this story! It started with a bang and kept up with the twists and turns, leaving me guessing at every turn and finally building up to a suspenseful climax. The plot is intricate and the chemistry between the main characters is intense. Tamara Morgan has woven an entertaining story in a way that is fun and unique.

The alternating pattern of past and present storytelling was rather unusual, and kept me flipping the pages until the very end. I loved the humor, the dynamic between Grant and Penelope was so much fun! Their game of cat and mouse was absolutely delightful, their playful flirtation was irresistible. This book was well-written, the alternating past-present storytelling slowed down the pace of the story, though. The characters were engaging, intriguing and well-developed, the plot was well-constructed and mysterious.

I received an advanced copy of this book, from the publisher, via NetGalley. View all 12 comments. Mar 09, Mandi Schreiner rated it liked it Shelves: Penelope Blue I love that name and I LOVE the way the hero says it in this book — always rhyming it with a sensual undertone grew up with famous jewel thief for a father. He amassed a great fortune in stolen goods, hid them and then disappeared, assumed dead.

This book starts with Penelope and her very close friends also fellow jewel thieves all set to steal a two million dollar diamond necklace that is coming out of a vault in a jewelry store. This necklace eluded her father for years, so she feels extra incentive to steal it, to honor his thieving memory. However, there is an obstacle.

She knows this is not a coincidence. Not being able to figure away around her hulking husband, she has to abandon her plan. Which really pisses her off. You see — their marriage is somewhat of a farce. Grant, her husband, knows Penelope is a jewel thief — and she knows he knows — but they have never admitted to each other. She started dating him to keep an eye on him, because he was following her moves as she planned thefts.

Do they even really love each other or is all a game?? You assume he knows pretty much everything about her, but he is a very good actor, a cold stone FBI agent, so there is some doubt sometimes. You also get the sense that he deeply loves her, but Penelope is unsure about his true feelings and intentions, again leaving some mystery about their relationship. I really liked both Penelope and Grant. Penelope is a super fun heroine — funny, stubborn, energetic.

Some are more mysterious than others, and I love the bond they all share, and the emotions that bubble up when Penelope has to choose the job or her relationship with Grant. My two frustrations are: One, the book goes back and forth from present day, when she has been married to Grant for a year and the opportunity arises to steal the necklace.

In the past we go back to when Grant and Penelope first meet and start dating. I found it a bit boring. I liked their predicament in present day — married, but hiding everything. In love with each other, but would never admit it. Second, Grant is hot. Like, really, really hot. BUT — their romance takes a back seat to everything else. I wanted more page time together of just them. Looking forward to book two. Feb 24, Maria Rose rated it it was amazing Shelves: This review can also be found at All About Romance: Right is the first of the three part Penelope Blue series by Tamara Morgan, about a professional jewel thief and her husband, an FBI agent.

He was the professional, but I had street smarts. He held the cards, but I called the game. Damn, but it was going to be fun seeing which of us would eventually come out on top. This quote from partway through the story is an apt description of the relationship between Penelope Blue and Grant Emerson. Penelope is the daughter of a renowned jewel thief, the Blue Fox.

When he died, Penelope became a street kid but with all the tricks of the trade under her belt. Those in the crime world on both sides of the law believe she must have access to the millions of dollars worth of jewels her father had hidden over the years, but she has no idea where his fortune is.

Penelope and her partners in crime are busy trying to think up another way to get a hold of the necklace when Grant brings it home for safekeeping. Is it a trap? The game is afoot, but if one of them wins, they might both end up as losers in love. This story has both a romantic comedy and a chick lit feel, and when I heard it was the first of three stories about the couple — who are already married — I was worried that this part would end in a cliffhanger.

Right has a wholly satisfactory happy ending and is a complete story on its own. The segments are well identified and the writing voice used also makes it clear which is which — the parts that take place in the past are written in past tense and the parts in the present are written in present tense. It makes for an interesting reading experience.

Penelope is a resilient young woman. She was aided by Riker, another street rat and together they did what they needed to survive, eventually moving on to bigger and better heists. Riker is her best friend and they have a close relationship — though that has been strained by her marriage to Grant. Riker and Penelope added two more to their thieving crew, Jordan and Oz, also street kids.

Full text of "Robert Glover No More Mr Nice Guy"

They each have a specific role to play. Riker is the mastermind planner who chooses the jobs, negotiates with the backers and runs the show. Penelope is small in stature and can fit into spaces like air ducts and housemaids trolley carts. Ironically, she is claustrophobic yet still finds herself spending hours in small spaces, waiting to give the go ahead or do the job herself when the coast is clear. Jordan is the explosives expert, making whatever is needed to be used as a distraction like firebombs in garbage cans and Oz is the everyman, the one who wears disguises and blends into the background, casing joints, providing backup, basically playing whatever character is needed for the situation.

These four are not a hard edged violent crew. No one gets killed or injured on their missions though a guard or two may get knocked out and this is one of those scenarios where the crimes are always big ticket items — art heists, jewelry thefts, etc. Grant is an enigma. Penelope assumes that he knows exactly who she is when she first — and rather audaciously — approaches him on a surveillance job.

Honestly, it makes for a very exciting and page-turning read because the reader has no idea what is going to happen right up until the very end. The plot twists are eyebrow raising, with the necklace at the center of the story. Right entertained me from beginning to end and I definitely plan to read more about this intriguing couple! A copy of this story was provided by the publisher via NetGalley for review.

Jul 26, Caz rated it really liked it Shelves: Right is a fun, light-hearted read in the best caper movie tradition; our heroine, Penelope Blue, is a highly skilled jewel thief and her husband, Grant Emerson is an FBI agent. Right from their first meeting, they are locked into a sexy game of cat and mouse in which neither knows how much the other knows and wants to find out. Thievery runs in the Blue family, because Penelope is the 4.

Thievery runs in the Blue family, because Penelope is the daughter of the infamous Blue Fox, one of the best in the business. When he disappeared after a heist gone wrong a decade earlier and her stepmother abandoned her, it left Penelope alone on the streets, to fend for herself.

Fortunately for her, she was befriended by a street-wise kid named Riker and together they did what they had to survive; stole, ran scams, always moving onto bigger and better jobs. What the author does so cleverly is to muddy the waters where Grant is concerned, making the reader wonder as to his true motives. Tamara Morgan has crafted a terrifically entertaining story which, while for the most part, a fun, sexy romp, has its serious side, too.

Her friendships with Riker and Jordan are nicely done — Riker is actually rather awesome, dark, brooding and sarcastic, and clearly needs his own book at some point! All in all, though, Stealing Mr. Right was a thoroughly enjoyable, read with a nice balance of suspense and romantic comedy. Mar 15, Angie Elle rated it it was amazing. ARC provided by publisher. Right , I was sure I was in for a light, fun cat and mouse read. Penelope and Grant have chemistry off the charts. T ARC provided by publisher.

What I find most odd about this story is that despite feeling detached from the characters, I was still riveted. Grant was just so charming and tender, but Penelope was convinced he was all bluster. And they were absolutely adorable together, which is hilarious, because neither personality screams adorable. I loved them all, and I am hoping there will be plenty of them to read about in future installments. I was pleasantly surprised by Stealing Mr. Mar 25, Nadia rated it really liked it Shelves: Oh this was so cute!!

Although Penelope did seem sort of daft, and despite the fact that the main conflict was just a big misunderstanding, I really did enjoy the story. I had a hard time putting it down. And everything about Grant was just awwww, except when he was a jerk, but then we got a chapter from his point of view and he got awwww again. Mar 18, Ines rated it really liked it.

This book was better than I expected before I started reading it! And your comments as well as hers illustrate the truth of it. As for your criticisms of men with regard to their behavior in relationships, you are oversimplifying the issue and again assuming that most, if not all, men behave badly. THe way you characterize men is like a bad stereotype. Yes, many many are like that, but to give the impression that virtually all men are like that is disingenuous.

Yes, there are certainly many, many men who give men a bad name, but there are a lot of unenlightened women out there too. You all claim there are good guys and how women are the problem and are stingy and all want to be married. Maybe it should be stated that there are far more few than people say. Example oh there are good men but in actuality there are only or maybe even My father was a damn good man.

But I do agree with M. I thought I could get the pick of the litter. Regardless if I change my hair style or color, buy new clothes or dress up I always get overlooked. I got dumped by my prom date and when I asked him why he frolicked off like he just got a load of candy. I never did get a response but so the rumors said he did it because I was hideous ugly. There are sick men out there. Many women are left single, confused and damaged goods.

They are the alpha women. Same goes for women who whine and moan about all the good men, yet they have them in their friendzone. I want an actual result. Hearing that there are good men is like hearing unicorns are real over and over again. Our society says that men want a size 0 bombshell who has superhuman powers and does anything he asks or wants without a fuss who works, takes care of the house and kids and in some cases is the provider.

ItzMzBunny, I needed to edit your post because the examples you gave of men behaving badly with you were too graphic. The world is full of dysfunctional people, and you seem to have run into more than your share. The best chance you have to live a more positive, loving life is continuous self-improvement. Life tends to get better, and you tend to meet higher-quality people, as you become a better person. That holds true for women and men in whatever situation they are in life.

Look at my pic in my profile page that I send to newspaper and magazine editors. And all we are basically talking about is JUST starting a conversation with a man, just like she would with a woman. They are more caring and understanding, but starting a conversation with a man and then asking them out is not part of their—makeup. And deep down, they know it. Likewise, women obsess about their looks and attach their attractiveness to their self-worth far more than men do, although as you pointed out, those lines are blurring as well. A whole lot of research shows that men are typically attracted to women for their looks while women are often not always, to be sure attracted to men for their ability to provide security.

I want to be able to sleep at night. Women HAVE been programmed not to approach men but the bigger problem as far as I can tell is that men have been programmed to be skeptical of women approaching them. The type of man who usually approaches me? Yes, the type of man who approaches pretty women. I would encourage you to keep trying. Hopefully, your run of bad luck will end soon. Thankfully, from what I understand, the younger generation is already starting to level the playing field.

Actually, Jenna, as a writer for singles, I do know how frustrating it can be—for both men and women. Perry, I think you hit upon a useful statement that Jenna and other women can agree with: Men can be doorknobs. I get porno emails. My life has been something like that. One guy took me to dinner and thought it was OK to grab my hand and place it on his you know what. Am I just being prudish or is this stuff truly out of line? The very next man that was interested in me was the one who started sending porno emails.

Elizabeth, what your experiences as well as the experiences of many women prove is that there is no shortage of men out there who give men a bad name. I can only begin to imagine the frustration and disgust that you and so many other women have to contend with. I wish there were some way to distinguish the good guys from the bad boys, but alas, that is more an art than a science. I can assure you that this is not the case. But you may need to sift through a whole lot more bad eggs before you find the man who will be worthy of you. Yes, it sounds like this film vividly demonstrates the truth of what I wrote in this article: Elizabeth, I completely sympathize.

In circles I used to be in earlier in life, I noticed lots of gorgeous women with not so good looking, and of course rich, men. You should have seen the guy who sent me the porno emails. He looked so innocent. I liked him a lot so I was very hurt when I discovered what he was all about. Yes, there is something flattering about a man wanting you. Twice I was ambushed at night by women who were jealous of my relationship with a man they were interested in. In all three cases the man in question was just someone I knew…not someone I was involved with…and in all three cases the woman was not involved with the man either.

For some reason she was insanely jealous of my past relationship with the guy. I had two public encounters with her. In one she saw me walking in a mall and started following me. She eventually started yelling at me. Years later she saw me sitting in a restaurant. She came over to the table and, in a menacing tone, asked me if I remembered her. I thought she was going to throw hot soup in my face. Ten years after being punched in the face in the bar the woman who hit me was hired at my place of work. She was still hostile and I had to tell HR about it. Now, I keep a very low profile.

I really like men. The men I like just drool all over me and then go off to marry someone else. Elizabeth, I was cringing the whole way through this. I hope the second act of your life is happier and more successful with regard to men and relationships. I hope you manage to find one. Elizabeth, that seems rough! I was only threatened once by a jealous woman who was interested in a guy who was interested in me. When I was 16, I was terrible with women, so I got really deeply into the seduction community, reading books and going out into the streets practicing for 8 hours per day.

At 16 it was all about sex really, and I would never approach beautiful women because of the same limiting beliefs too beautiful, probably got a boyfriend etc… would always come up. The stuff I was reading was so messed up, that it translated into what someone already said: Over time I started to get more confident, and I started to really see what women wanted and what would work with them. But it was one particular interaction that really changed my view of the whole thing. I was 19, and for the first time I decided to approach a very beautiful woman in the street, around the time I was completely immune to rejection.

She was a Russian girl, about 5 years older than me, who was actually FAR more intelligent than I had expected. The first thing I noticed is how easily she opened up to me beautiful women, and this was a MASSIVE suprise when I found out, have always been more receptive to a man approaching than average women. We got into this topic I still remember, and this was 10 years ago , and she told me how lonely she was, how women were bitter to her, how the only men who would approach were sleazy bastards… She also said something interesting, which was that men wanted to be in a relationship with an average girl, and have an affair with a beautiful girl of course, she was talking about the sort of men that would approach her.

In general, I think that is somewhat true. Even though this is NOT true in most cases, the men that could possibly have the courage to approach may not want a relationship just out of the fear that the girl will eventually end up leaving him for some rich guy. In any case, that interaction with the Russian girl back in the day really opened my eyes. I had a massive connection with her, and she did become my girlfriend for a few years.

BUT, after that, my conception of women in general changed. Sex was no longer so important, because the feeling of being connected to a woman was so much more fulfilling. After that experience, and before my current relationship, I made it my rule of thumb to only approach beautiful women, because of how much easier it is to connect with them. An average woman will be defensive and it is very hard to get her to open up to you emotionally.

Truly, I live giving value to the world more than anything. Experience has told me that beautiful women are emotionally unsatisfied, and it gives satisfaction to myself to go up to a beautiful woman and treat her like a real person. My advice to women would be this: The kind of man that you want is a man that is truly in touch with himself, and the kind of man that knows women. Despite your social conditioning, unless you are EXTREMELY lucky to be approached by a man who knows what he wants and is willing to pursue it probably not going to happen … You should get over rejection and approach yourself, no matter how many men you have to wade through.

Also, I have found that the men that generally know life and themselves are artists… Look at classical musicians, painters, writers, philosophers… That is where the gold is. Eventually you should find what you want. This is a fascinating confessional, Steve. If you can change and leave your womanizing past behind, other men can get a clue and grow up, too. I value relationships with depth to them, so I try to establish emotional intimacy with women as well as men when I first meet them. Women are far more responsive in that regard. Thanks again for your comments, Steve. I expect that women who read this will be encouraged by your awakening.

Well one day asked what kind of girl he was looking for since he claimed to be single. He basically told me not me in a underlying tone. So then he said to me how I was the bestest friend he ever had and how happy he was. Then I wondered if I should ask him again or leave well enough alone. Well one day it popped up in conversation, he said I needed to find someone immediately because otherwise I would be lonely and unhappy.

I asked him how he figured.

He told me that I needed a relationship like the one him and his ex has. Just like Jenna, Elizabeth and the other women has said. Theres just far too few of them and I know for a fact those type of men are married or taken where I live. But I agree with what the Russian girl said, men want to wife the average plain girl and sleep with the beautiful woman. I certainly sympathize with your predicament, although I can tell you that the idea that most men want to be with unattractive women is not accurate.

I sure hope you have better luck with men from now on. In fact, everyone has had me. One guy even went around telling everyone that I worked as a prostitute for tuition money. As a result nobody wanted to date me. By the way, I edited your comment slightly and other comments as well because I want to keep this blog PG I think I can speak on behalf of decent guys everywhere that the men you have experience with sound like juvenile aliens from another planet.

The guy must have read that book. I ask that because this sort of thing would work, I think, on a woman who has no real interest in the man. I thought it was incredibly gross. While something I have learned over the years is that women want empathy over solutions, I will still try to provide a solution and see if this resonates with anyone. I think that the solution is not really finding a man that has his own philosophical self worked out, because as ItzMzBunny mentioned, these men are one-in-a-million.

You probably have a greater chance of winning the lottery. The key, I think, is in the beautiful woman bypassing all the obstacles and social conditioning of those men that would be able to sweep average-looking women off their feet. For example, lets take the writer ItzMzBunny referred to. And, yet, something was stopping him from actually going out with you, even to the point of outright rejecting you.

At the end of the day, it all comes down to limiting beliefs. Say that the man has been conditioned all of his life to believe that beautiful women should only be accessible to elite football players and billionaires. We know for a fact that this is the case, and this conditioning has gotten to the extreme in a society of constant propaganda and objectification of women.

Social tests have been done on this. They would rationalize thinking there is something wierd here, I think I better get out fast. How to overcome it is the difficult part. You would have to make the man truly believe that you like him and that you are romantically interested without setting off any of the beliefs. It all comes down to comfort. It is your job to make him understand that you are attainable. Not through obvious flirtation like touching him sexually, non-obvious is smiles and whatnot , because this would bring up his alarm quickly, but through deep-connection.

Those conversations you think about for days because of how good they make you feel. Essentially, you have to be friends with the guy until it is not really a big deal that you are a beautiful girl, and he appreciates you as a person. At that point, romantic escalation, even after a rejection or two, would be far easier, as long as you make him understand that you can be achieved. Of course, the only way for this to happen is comfort, and comfort can only be achieved through equality.

Men are very rational, and have step-to-step thinking, so verbalizing things will make everything smoother. He will get the message. I have rejected women in the past for this reason, which I am repentful of. Also, I forgot to say this in my previous post. Maybe it takes a few rejections before you get to the man of your dreams.

I would try three times with a guy before moving on, always after building that comfort I talked about and letting him know you are attainable. But even so, you should immunize yourself to rejection, if it really is rejection just after three attempts. Imagine if you went into a room, and you were looking for some stuff, and there were 20 men in that room, and one of them had it.

How would you find the stuff? You would go up to every man and ask if he has the stuff. Once you find the guy with the stuff, then you have what you wanted. BUT, you will never find the stuff unless you talk to the men. Maybe you are lucky and the first guy has the stuff, or maybe you are unlucky and the 20th guy you talk to has it. Your explanation of why men reject beautiful women rings true. Establishing a deep connection and friendship is indeed the most solid foundation on which to build a relationship.

What Steve said makes a lot of sense. I liked him a lot and told him so but my words fell on deaf ears. I think he thought that I was out of his league. He clearly had some self-confidence issues. That one really broke my heart. Yes, his reaction is entirely consistent with what Steve explained. Yup, this is my life. One of many examples:. About four years ago I began dating a guy. She ended up inviting him to her house for sex that weekend. She immediately called me the next day and confessed to it all. Being attractive has been an absolute curse for me. Not only do I have to deal with everything the article describes, I also have to deal with negative cultural stereotypes.

Being a woman of Latin descent, I am constantly subjected to the following rubbish: In fact, I went out a month ago with a girlfriend. We walked into a bar and within the first five minutes of being there, a guy walked up to me and smiled. For a split second I smiled back before he grabbed me by the hair, pulled my head back and tried to forcefully make out with me.

I threw my drink on him and he walked away cheering. No one came to help me. Out of sheer embarrassment, I forced my friend to leave with me. According to her logic, I was suppose to revel in the fact that some stranger assaulted me. The last time I had a dated someone long-term five years ago , I broke it off because he wanted me to lose weight. Meanwhile I weighed pounds and wore a size 3. However, I have stopped approaching them.

I have approached many men, however, I find that none of those men ever respected me. People and things that come too easily often get discarded for other things and people that require energy because once obtained it is viewed as a reward. In the latter, that type of man is emotionally damaged and nothing I say will ever change his mind. I am convinced that many nice guys may have approached me at one point or another. But living in such a large city where an attractive woman gets hit on times a day, its very easy to ignore everyone and walk around like a zombie just to protect yourself emotionally and physically.

There has to be someone out there who can accept and love me for who I am holistically. Beautifully articulated, Lonely Life.

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I cringe when i read of such insensitive treatment from jerks who call themselves men. Your stories as well as the horror stories from other women confirm that most men are operating out of a lower consciousness. The women you describe are just as immature and self-absorbed. The challenge is where to find men who live at a higher consciousness. Both men and women who have raised their consciousness tend to congregate together. So the key is to come in contact with people who are kind, compassionate respectful and perhaps spiritually aware not a prerequisite but it may be a good sign.

Do you not know any compassionate, self-aware people? Do what you can to seek them out. I just contend that it improves the odds in your favor. I certainly hope you can connect with people who will value you and whom you will value, Lonely Life. My heart goes out to you. This is one that I can greatly empathize with. My current girlfriend is a stunner, and at the beginning of the relationship she told me this was the main problem she had with men. I guess I had to learn this the hard way and through experience, and I also suppose this is something most men never learn, but at the end of the day relationship dynamics work the same with a beautiful woman as they do with a more average-looking girl.

We as men should stop distrusting women. If a relationship dissolves, it is not because the woman was too beautiful and waiting for something better, it is simply because it was not meant to be. An average woman can leave at any moment aswell… At the end of the day it is her circumstances, not her beauty. Enjoy things while they last I suppose. Brilliant quote Phil… I see that most relationship problems, with beautiful women and not, come down to artificial behaviours, not knowing how to treat people naturally. People will put on a fake face at the beginning and when the real person comes out of the closet, most times several years into marriage, everything dissolves.

In this ridiculous society, she is the nice-looking accessory, the arm-candy, to be bragged about like a Ferrari. This view of women clearly translates into how they are treated by most men. Not as human beings, but as something that would look nice on the arm.

Believe it or not, I have met beautiful women that told me they had never connected with anyone, and by connection I mean that fuzzy feeling of trust and natural comfort towards someone. I guess you cannot blame them for having their defenses up. Kind of like people wishing they were rich only to find out that having tons of money brings with it all sorts of problems they never anticipated.

But because of my outer appearance, I only get approached by loud, party-type jocks and guys after flings. Or the kind of guys that have nothing to lose so they approach any women they see! And for awhile the only interaction I had with men was getting yelled and whistled at on the street!!

I really think that if my personality matched my looks things would be easier.. I think no matter how hot you are, if you have a bubbly and outgoing personality, it would help. Wear no makeup, tie their hair back, put on a pair of glasses, cover their body in a matronly outfit. Then again, Melanie, if you had a different personality, you would ultimately attract a different kind of guy. Authenticity is perhaps a stronger attractor than looks or personality. As I wrote in the post: Your comment about beautiful women making themselves less attractive brought to mind a friend of mine.

She worked out regularly, had a great body and long blonde hair. She started getting so many catcalls from men that she got fed up, cut her hair, stopped working out and deliberately gained twenty-five pounds. She ended up marrying a good guy and having two children with him. How does that explain me. I am glamourous not over the top, I wear respectable length dresses and skirts and I am confident.

All the others want to be in relationships with me. It certainly sounds like you are an exception to the rule, jw. DO you see your experiences with men as a good thing? Finally, I think I understand why my love life has been a shambles. I blame myself for going wrong but friends and family say that I pick the wrong ones. In the past, many times, I have felt used as a piece of meat.

I just want to be myself. It was so frustrating. I actually feel like I hate the majority of men because I have experienced so much pain from them. Your pain and frustration are palpable, sunny There have been some suggestions made in earlier comments about how to potentially break out of this cycle. I hope you find them helpful or at least encouraging. I wish you luck. Remember, to egomaniacal guys, friendliness and attention giving in many situations can be misconstrued in their whacked out heads that the woman may like them.

I personally prefer a stronger woman that acknowledges all men with some discomfort and restraint. A little bit attitude is attractive to me as it makes me feel more secure and comfortable in a relationship with an attractive woman… and I feel much more respected. To address some of the comments from some women here, yes, it is very true that if an attractive woman approaches me I have significant restraint because I assume that she approaches ALL good looking men… and knowing that makes her immediately less attractive. My only advice is if you know the guy you are approaching is pushing back and he is indeed single, keep pushing.

I know a ton of guys and I can tell you with absolute certainty that the most faithful men out there are the shyest men. When you find one you like do NOT be aggressive with them but be persistent. There is a very good chance the guy likes you but you would never know because of his strange and standoffish demeanor.

It takes a lot of work to land a truly faithful man. You have an interesting perspective, John. However, I strongly disagree with your statement that strong women acknowledge all men with some discomfort and restraint. An emotionally healthy and confident woman should be must be! I agree with you totally. Which for me, personally, I have a problem with.

But it made me think of this guy from high school. When I first met him he said he liked me and broke up with his then girlfriend saying I was the reason which started an unnecessary fight. Well he never asked me out, no dates, no nothing. So one day I got tired and asked him when we would start dating. Even though I was a lot more shy, when I mustered up the courage I would speak how I felt. Well the guy told me he would ask me when he got ready. I asked him when was that going to be? I stopped talking to him and he eventually dropped out. The other night I went out for ice cream.

This guy approaches me and said he wanted to ask me a question. Before I could answer he asked me if he could borrow a dollar to catch the bus. Then he asked to borrow my phone number and I said no. He told me I was pretty and asked if I had a boyfriend. I said thank you and told him no I was single. He asked to borrow my number to say hi sometimes. I told him no. Then he disappeared off somewhere. They either want money, free sex or expect me to treat them. Like what John, I had one guy say to me that if I wanted to go to a family restaurant, I had to take him to fancy ones and pay for the date this would be 10 dates before he considers it.

Still, I would hope that both women and men recognize when a relationship is unhealthy, and cut their losses earlier rather than later. Your situation with the guy who wanted to control you is very upsetting. Your comments always leave me scratching my head—not because of your perspective but because of all the screwy men you come in contact with.

Your reality is obviously filled with emotionally stilted and dysfunctional men, so you have to learn how to deal with that. Well as for that guy, I doubt he was interested in me in the first place. I think all he was interested was adding another notch on his belt. I will say yes the men are pretty messed up. I attract the worst kind. I met a nice guy that I thought would be a great fit. But the women make it just as bad slinging their legs open like an automatic door every time a man walks past.

However you must understand we have a limited number of years in our lives. It not so easy, not so possible and in my case like many others its financially impossible. The men expects women to do her job as a woman, do his too and when it comes to sex they still want her to do all the work. I met a guy a few months ago who I thought I had a lot in common and even thought it could work.

But he automatically treated me as a friendzone candidate and then even acted like I was annoying. But they ask for money or sex in a minute with no hopes or promise of a possible relationship. Even the married men are worst. One said I led him on and gave the impression I was going to have sex with him. But yet he was damned and determined to make me do what he wanted. That goes with a lot of men. But how can someone be good enough for sex and nothing more?? You know far more about this than I do. In spite of all you have to deal with and put up with, I wish you luck in finding what you want.

I could tell you were older by the way you talk. You sound like my mom no offense lol. That unfortunely is the dating landscape. I assumed that dating would be the way my parents always raved about it. But it never was. Going out for ice cream was a good date. Now I dunno about other places but here in Pittsburgh you get bashed for being single. But then men are selective as to who they marry and impregnate. You leave that goofball the hell alone. But they seem to like that. ItzMzBunny, my knowledge of the dating scene for twentysomethings in Pittsburgh is zero.

From your description, it sounds like another planet. Heck even the singles groups and events are only meant for the and older crowd and plus you have to pay a membership!! Pittsburgh is terrible as far as dating goes. This was an amazing and nearly mind-blowing article for me. I know a few girls from high school who have already become models, and I had already eliminated them from contention in romance — assuming there was no viable way I could get them to listen to me. Thank you for writing such an article as this — it has enlightened me somewhat, and hopefully it can help me to change my ways and ask out more attractive girls.

Back in the primitive days, the more attractive a woman was, the stronger the man she would be with. Approaching a high-value woman generally meant getting your head smashed in with a rock. But, mind you, not all is lost. Men are more logical than emotional, yet they still have emotional.

The only problem is that they have to suppress emotion logically, and that is not the easiest thing in the world to do. When I approach an attractive woman with romantic intent, I have a burning sensation all throughout my body, as if I were about to walk into a room full of psychopathic Russian mafia gangsters, but I have to logically remind myself: Feel your fear and do it anyway.

This means one of two things. What these men will do is go on the Internet and take advice from self-proclaimed male dating coaches that know less about women than they do. What works with women is genuine, authentic and unfiltered natural conversation. But, very unfortunately for women, men are not capable of naturally communicating with attractive women unless they have gone through a process of desensitizing theirselves. An example could be a man who grew up around very attractive women, or one who has made a conscious effort to transcend his comfort zone and speak to these women regularly over a period of many years.

Instead, I chose to walk away from the love of life. I guess I thought I could do better. I was only 19 when we met and 27 by the time I ended things. I thought I might have been missing out on other options. I wanted to know what else was out there. That was my biggest mistake and if I could go back in time and take it all back I would.

In a single heartbeat. Enough to know that my soulmate is the one man I left behind at And now he is with someone else and I put him there. Is it really better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all? If you ask me, no way. What they failed to mentioned was that your heart will break every day, over and over again, searching for the love it once felt only to come back empty every time.

Mandy, you spoke not only your heart, but the heart of myself and pretty much every other single woman. Your fears are my fears. As much I love your positivity and encouragement, which has uplifted and kept me going many days, I adore your vulnerability in also sharing the ugly truth. Positivity can bring us together, but it is the bare common ground that binds us and reminds us we are not alone.

Being single is scary and when I see a happy couple i feel like crying. Am so scared that il die single. At 38 I have never experienced true love. Surprisingly after being disappointed the whole of my life, I still believe in love. What is wrong with me? Im the one stood waiting for her friends only to find out they have left with the guy i was bypassed by. I can completely relate. Single still at almost Left my abusive husband back in and wound up dating the same kind of jerk until when I realized I deserved better and decided to take a break.

I am horrible on myself. Thank you for posting this Mandy…. I divorced my husband after 20 years of him struggling with sexual desires and then being physically abusive to our son. You are such an inspiration in this interesting, crazy, sometimes lonely, but still forging ahead journey called the single life.

Nashville is on my bucket list of places to visit and when I get there I would love to meet you! Thank you for your post. I relate a lot to what you said — pretty much everything you said. I was writing a blog entry the other day about a funeral I attended for a family member and I was thinking about how that side of my family was dwindling pretty fast.

Then I was thinking about how my own side of my family pretty much ends with me. I have a sister, but I feel like that is their own part of the family that they get to carry on. I will be carrying on nothing. I feel pretty sad about it. I just want to be me, with my strong faith and my huge sci-fi geek side. I want to be the grad student and the one who enjoys a young adult novel. The one who uses Facebook to keep up with friends but to also play social games. You make me wanna cry and hug you. This is me as well. The kid thing is getting to me more and more everyday.

Being 32 and single has been very hard. Harder than I expected are willing to normally admit. I see no flaws in anything you mentioned, rather perfection. I am almost 39 and 21 months ago I decided, after years of thought and prayer, to take matters into my own hands and had an appointment at a fertility clinic. It may always just be the two of us, but he is the greatest loves story of my life.

Someday I may be a wife but, if not, thank god a precious little boy calls me mommy. This was God sent. This journey have many ugly heads. I know I wont end up alone, But being single and 35 is not a game. I just want to hug you. I know how hard it probably was to write this, because that fear of judgement is REAL. I wrote a similar entry on my blog about a month ago and I was terrified to press submit. But I did, because someone needed what I wrote. Today, I needed what you wrote. I love how God works things out! Anyway, thank you for your honesty.

But you know that the men are not perfect either!! Marriage is 2 imperfect people focusing on the good in each other more than the bad. It really resonated with me. Thank you for reminding to embrace these moments.

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You continue to be an inspiration, Mandy! Thank you Mandy for sharing! I can relate to each and every word! All we can do is simply live this single life to the fullest. Wow, I can totally relate to everything you said. Reality is hitting home and I deal. I too am mid thirties and single and can so relate. Sometimes we can even become obsessed with the single status. But I try to live this time to my fullest as a writer blogger and traveler. We aRe here for a reason.

Very excellent and very honest blog, Mandy! I feel the same feelings you feel about being single. Keep your head up and keep encouraging other single women in their walk with the Lord. Thank you for being so brave. Thank you for your vulnerability. Thank you for writing this post and tackling this question. You seem to be writing everything that I am currently feeling. It gets very hard at times, but I usually try to stay optimistic. My previous bad choices in men have made me question myself, and I also had a man to basically tell me something similar to what you were told.

That was years ago but I realize now that it really effected me. I really have a huge issue with being 26 and a single mom….. My ex telling me if I was just this or that we would work…. Kayla, you are enough for YOU and your son. What your ex is looking for is someone to fill the voids in his own life. No one can do that but him, so let him do that work himself. Thanks for writing this article Mandy, I try to stay positive and keep busy. But in those moments when I am alone in my bed I have those same thoughts. I am ugly, too fat, too nice and no one will ever want to be married with me.

I throw myself a pity party, cry myself to sleep. Its not easy being alone or single, but I would much rather be single than in a miserable relationship. This made me cry. Every day I think I am doomed to wander this earth by myself. Just last night I was boo hooing because my kids were gone and I was all by myself at home washing clothes. Thank you for your honesty. I feel that I am a very loving, compassionate, caring woman that I feel is pretty nice looking wondering why God would make me this way and not give me someone to share my life with. You too are very beautiful, thoughtful and just wonderful.

Thank you for your message. I love this post. And LOL, I am still single at Married for 23 years…miserably…and slowly getting to where I want to be. The truth is, we all have those doubts. We all want to be what we see presented in magazines and movies. And we are all flawed.

As are many of the men out there. I want a partner…an equal…So I keep on living my amazing, wonderful life and maybe some day, in my travels, I will meet someone interesting enough, secure enough, funny enough and smart enough to make ME take a double look. So, carrying on and being me! I feel like these were the words right out of my own head! I never expected to be here at this stage in life as a still-single woman! This is exactly how I feel. Waited 5 years after second divorce to date, to get myself together, to learn to forgive and trust.

Dated and then got into another bad relationship.

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Another man I was going to help to love me. I can definitely relate to this. Mandy — Single at 36, and can completely relate to everything in your post. It scares me sometimes thinking about what will happen when I get old — who will take care of me and love me… I put up a brave face and try to enjoy the good sides of it, like travelling or taking up jobs far away from home.

But deep inside yes I do feel the void. Have you sneaked inside my brain. Your words read like everything I think I agree with Jenn. Spent most of my 20s being silly and praying my period would arrive. I am 37 single with no kids with a raft of what if and if only. I will keep reading your blog realising.

None of us in this boat are alone xxx. This is so timely. I am older than you and my husband left after 10 years of marriage. I may just remain single which may not be a bad thing. This article has hit the nail on the head. No more self hate talk! I do the same thing!

Always wishing for something! More money, bigger boobs, less fat, whiter teeth, more time, more laughter. Always on the run, waiting for something in the future and wishing today away. Today starts a new approach. Living in the moment with my eyes on Christ! Keeping our eyes on Him lets us walk on water!!! But rather, too much pep talk annoys me. And you just answered why. The bible says that we have this treasure Christ in us , in earthen vessels our bodies.

I personally believe that you got to have those days that you feel weary. And I often found that during these times the Lord catches me best. As a 35 soon to be 36 year old woman, I totally relate to this post. Please give yourself some grace in this area. Thanks for sharing and I hope the readers that can relate to this post encourage you to just keep on your journey being exactly who you are. To friends around those of us going through divorce, be it currently or 5 years ago, I ask for patience.

It takes a lot of time to work through all of the detritus of divorce. And with a kiddo in the mix? Thank you for peeling back some layers and showing the ugly truth. And yes, I agree that we do need to be open and honest about the ugly parts too. I refuse to whine, wallow or any of that about being single. Not everything about it is bad. Not by any stretch.

I can barely see through my tears to type this. I know it never will. No man can be serious enough or even know what they want for the future. Well done on being brave enough to face the turmoil inside, even though you may not feel strong right now. Your fear is so totally understandable. I myself need medication, too, and many days I still fight to be grateful and hopeful The ONLY hopeless situation is one in which you give up.

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I just see from your post that you have or are considering giving up on a search for hope at all. Let me say that again: But we are ultimately responsible for opening our hands and accepting the good things God has put in place for us. The help we lonely people need does require us to stand up, pick up a phone, and talk to someone. Single at 41…soon to be Struggling with being single.

Two failed marriages wrong men , one serious relationship that failed and almost destroyed me I felt he was my true love , and most recently a year casually dating a guy that was not ready but I kept on with him thinking I could make him get there by being totally into him. I was myself from the start but not a fit for him. I feel like it was outward thing about me and what I do for work , not to mention location of where I live as to why he has distanced himself from me.

Have I not picked up on the hints he is dropping? Life not going as I dreamt that it would. They want the benefits of a relationship but not the stress of one and plenty of women to give it to them. This goes for both men and women. Single life is not rewarding. You said every single thing that a single woman in the 30s could think inside and coild say outside thank you for these totally meaningful words.

Thank you for this post! I am 39 and still looking for the one. The one who will not only accept my imperfections but embrace them. I constantly put on my suit of armour and tell people just how great my life is. I have a great job, my own place and an adorable dog. But inside all I want is someone to come home to at the end of the day….. I giggled when you said some days you think anyone will do. I myself am 39 and have said that many times. Best of luck to you! Dear Mandy Where do we go from here? How do we change our attitudes so that we can be open to Love again.

I do believe we have created barriers for ourselves and have become stuck in a rut for fear of heartbreak. I am almost 53 and single for 14 years. This is getting boring but how do we leave our comfort zones? I think I may be in Love with someone but too afraid to tell him and besides this crush I have had for 11 years could be my way of staying single as a defense mechanism. He has shown no interest although he comes across as shy and flustered when he sees me.

Strange how we can let time slip by… almost unnoticed. The ugly truth needs to be exposed so we can heal and allow ourselves to be truly cherished the way we deserve to be loved. Your story is precisely my experience … people compliment me all the time… I am the only person that does not believe I am beautiful — bless your heart Mandy — let go and let God.

Lately the guys that I meet end up being immature, have too many problems or are just overall losers. You inspire me everyday to be a strong independent woman. The right guy will come along for all us. I know… It will happen! I forgot to include that it would be awesome to meet you and would be awesome for all of us single ladies here to get together! He tells us not to be anxious in anything to trust in Him to supply all our needs.

When I feel lonely, I will pray and God will give me a sign that he hears me. The more we force the issue the more we will be disappointed. And in the mean time have fun with your lives and continue to keep the faith!! Maybe I focused too much on school and then on my job. Maybe I was too driven and my tunnel vision kept me from meeting Mr Right at that frat party I passed on in order to get some more study time in. This spoke the truth like nothing else I have read. Its nice to know I am not alone even if I am single lol. Thank you for writing this!

I needed this today because I was starting to feel really lonely but I learned to embrace my loneliness and deal with it. It helps to be truthful with yourself and not feel like you have to have an answer to being single. This is a great article and I feel like it completely describes me in every way. Thank you for writing the TRUTH so that all of us that have these fears that we may not discuss to others know that we are not alone and that it is ok to feel like this.

Things have been real tough the past few weeks but by the grace of God, I know He has greater things set aside for each of us. Our best days are yet to come! This was exactly what I needed to read.. I love the honesty and I have felt these emotions so many times.

I hate being asked that question because I take the tone as what is wrong with you. But I have hope because I met someone a couple months ago. But at 32 I almost feel like I have preconditioned myself to expect failure. I guess it amounts to getting out of our own way and letting things develop. But sometimes someone stumbles in our path when we least expect it and accept us flaws and all. Well guess what, being single is hard too. Dating is definitely NOT what it used to be. So, I pick myself up again and each time I wonder if this it… The last time I will go through that familiar pain.

Thanks Mandy I appreciate your honesty. Thank you for sharing this. But the bottom line is we are human. We have wants, needs, and desires. So what am I learning? So thank you-for sharing your thoughts. Thanks for the honesty. Overcoming our self-doubt can be harder sometimes than dealing with rejection or criticism from others.

One thing that has helped me is to try to talk to myself as if I were talking to a friend. I would never tell a friend she was worthless or no one would ever want to be with her, but I tell myself that — even though I am a wonderful being and know that God made me who I am on purpose, with a purpose. It can be a daily struggle. Wow, this is exactly what I am going through. I have said all these things to myself. I have been praying and doing a lot of meditating. But still hard some days. I needed to read this right now.

Weeping not sure of the reason and feeling tired of being lonely behind closed doors so that I do not allow anyone to see my struggle , I get tired of hiding the fact this process is difficult. Mandy, I appreciate this…you describe exactly how I feel. No divorces and no kids. Mind you, he pursued me. So, I accept it. We are in this together.

My son is And barely how to talk to guys. I have been trying to step out of my comfort zone, but I feel so drowned by fear. I was rejected for everything I was. I feel your pain. Getting past these fears are a serious struggle. I really love what you wrote. I am 38 39 in September a single mom, once engaged but never married.

I too try to stay positive but its difficult. I appreciate all of the ladies here who expressed their feelings and you Mandy for having this blog available for us. My wish is that we all find the true, honest, loving relationships we long for. Love and blessings to all of you. Thank you for sharing these very real thoughts and emotions.

My heart literally hurts and I struggle to find happiness. Just yesterday I had a coming apart with God. I so desperately needed this post today. Looking amazing, wonderful size 8, thank you Pilates! I also love Jesus. I have fabulous friends. I attend an incredible church. I own my own company. I love so many things, all of which I enjoy. I am involved in just about every way I can be…. Prayer, tears, and fighting the good fight each day, to claim my life as God intends and accept His will.

He never promised happiness. His plan is bigger than my pain. I am weary of it and yet each day, I rise and thank Him again. You are not alone. I want so desperately to be a partner in a marriage. I have strong faith and know God has a plan in it all. Thank you for sharing your honesty! It does help to know we are not alone in this. Thank you for this blog! Sometimes I absolutely love it!

I can do what I please, when I want or how I want without checking in with a significant other. These were guys that I was interested in and they approached me or were flirting with me or so I thought. I have spent many days and nights analyzing what went wrong. I have yet to come up with definite answers. I wish I would though.

I sometimes wonder if I want it too much and that maybe I should just let it go. I felt like you was speaking my story. I too was in a toxic relationship for years.. He was my first love and is the father of my kids. This is the year I turn 40! Never in my life did I imagine I would be single by the time I reached the big This really brings home all of my doubts and fears. Am I pretty enough? Will he accept me as I am? It is hard being single! Have you ever read this book? I read it last year and recommend it to my clients a lot. It helps so many women…please keep it up!

U are Not ALONE trust me ur ugly truth is my truth too, Thank you for being you and In very and truly grateful that God is using you to speak to women on theses topics because they are much appreciated. That ugly truth is my truth. Scared, angry, unworthy, unlovable. My exhusband of over 15 years told me that I would never be happy. About 2 years after my divorce, I met Paul.

Paul was a breath-taking, tall, romantic, and handsome man. He used to write me love letters, leave cards on my windshield while I was at work, stare and smile at me for no good reason. Now, 13 years later…we are still not married. About a month ago, I asked him why;that being married was very important to me and he knew it was.

We used to have fun. Now we live a confined life. Of course after 13 years, there was a lot more to it than just that conversation, but that conversation is what ended it all. I think I remained in a loveless relationship for 10 years out of fear of being alone for the rest of my life. I do feel unlovable, not good enough, ugly, and fat. I feel diseased and unwell. Thank you for sharing your truths.

Among all the things I feel right now, alone, is no longer one of them! Freeing your heart from the need to be perfect by Holley Gerth. I have so much to give and pray that He sends me a man I will actually have chemistry with. Although I love my independence and free to do as I please, I long for the day when the search is over. When I meet that smile and when I close my eyes at night I see the eyes of my best friend looking back at me.

I long for that love, peace and security of having a partner again. Thank you for your humor and all your writings which have been a source of comfort. I turned 45 yrs old this past Sunday. Although through the years I have had a few long-term relationships, I sit here at the middle of life…single. I have certainly told myself all of the negative comments, and then some.

Thank you for writing this blog. I look forward to more from you. What a wonderful post, I just adore you! We are beautiful and lovable, and we deserve the very best! Thank you so much for your honesty and vulnerability. Your words speak volumes of truth. I am single and age I am adjusting to the fact that unless I wreck into someone out on my commute, there is minimal chance I will meet someone.

Thank you for your blog! I agree with you on the men not noticing me at all comment.