Amen, Amen, Amen: Memoir of a Girl Who Couldnt Stop Praying (Among Other Things)
Sher's narrative voice describes her life, including the OCD, in a way completely free of clinical analysis or medical information. Important distinction, and I felt it was a good choice. It made things much more emotionally compelling, occasionally terribly difficult for me to read. The compulsive behaviors are the things you've seen in pop-culture OCD for a long time--hand-washing, touching or picking things up, and such.
Where the description of Abby's childhood with OCD gets a touch too real for comfort is in her descriptions of the obsessive thoughts influencing her behavior. The idea that she is responsible for the deaths and pain of loved ones, the devotion to mother, father, and God in the place of romance or pursuing her own desires, the ghastly visions of blood and destruction.
When narrated simply, frankly, and free of analysis, it really all paints a haunting picture, especially when it's been specifically tailored to sound like a child is narrating. But then somewhere around college things changed. As the prose gradually became more world-wise and grown up, and as Abby begins living life on her own terms rather than under her mother's roof, that is , it becomes a memoir that's really not so much about OCD anymore. Compulsive exercising and eating disorders seem to go hand-in-hand with OCD to me.
In order to avoid obsessive consequence: But as the OCD-centric first half of the book faded away we encounter view spoiler [a love life, children rallying around a dying mother, an abortion, self-mutilation, hide spoiler ] and other such adult hardships that make this more of a typical dysfunctional adulthood memoir. Suddenly this focal point of the book, the defining characteristic of Sher's life selected to stand for her in the title of the work, gets a few throwaway sentences every once in a while and little else.
I was also a little concerned with elements of the ending, mainly the implication that view spoiler [getting pregnant and having a baby constituted some amazing emotional turnaround. That part's quite realistic and satisfying, and I would much rather than than tying things up with a bow and implying everything's AOK now.
I have a baby girl. In certain regards she has made me reevaluate who I am as a person, try to be better, and brings smiles and new wonders to my life. BUT it's not all lollipops and rainbows either, and I sort of felt like Sher was saying that having her daughter was a purely positive experience. I also spend significant amounts of time worrying about what I might have passed on to her from anxiety to nearsightedness to bad knees, but mostly the anxiety.
I also have days where the demanding and radically different life path of having a baby see: On the whole, though, one of the better nonfiction pieces I've read in recent memory. Some of those "other things" in the title aren't what you'd think. Read Harder Reading Challenge Item: Read a book in which the main character has a mental illness This book was incredibly well-written and at times very hard to read.
It begins with what the author seems to see as the "triggering" event for her lifelong struggle with OCD, which was the death of her favorite aunt, followed closely by the death of her father. At age 11, she is not fully able to process his loss, and because of that, she never cries and assumes this must mean that she wanted him to d Read Harder Reading Challenge Item: At age 11, she is not fully able to process his loss, and because of that, she never cries and assumes this must mean that she wanted him to die or that his death was somehow her fault.
From there, she develops elaborate rituals, mostly related to praying, that she hopes will both "make up for" the part she feels she played in his death, and protect her other loved ones against a similar fate. Although Abby is Jewish, her ritualistic prayer was incredibly familiar to this Catholic girl, who has been known to resort to obsessively praying the rosary in my own times of greatest doubt and fear. Despite her compulsory piety, her relationship with God never seems to evolve past the "bartering" stage, wherein she believes that if she does everything a certain way, God will reward her with safety for her loved ones.
She suffers an inordinate amount of guilt for normal developmental milestones, such as her first crushes or her need to differentiate from her parents. And although she does seem to get something out of her piety, it made me sad that she didn't seem able to attain a higher level of spirituality, although there were hints of that near the end. This book's strongest section is probably when Abby is first giving in to her OCD, before she understands that it is an illness and when she fully believes her delusions about the level of control she has over events and the horrible things that she has done.
The way this is written really traps the reader in that mindset, making her feel as suffocated as Abby must have. It's heartbreaking to see an adolescent girl bearing the weight of her entire world on her shoulders, and this memoir seems to be an examination of how completely a child's psyche can spin out of control when she is confronted with trauma beyond her ability to understand or absorb.
Although Abby probably would have developed OCD in some form regardless, I do wonder how her path would have been different had she not lost her father at such a young age.
There are places around the middle to end where the story begins to bow a little under its own weight, as Abby adds self-harm and anorexia to her list of mental ailments. It ca n be frustrating to watch the way she lets her life spin out of control and the way she pushes away the man who loves her. It felt a bit reductionist, like that whole idea that a woman is not fully a woman until she gives birth; also, I don't think it's wise to ever consider having a baby to be a cure for any problem except that of wanting a baby -- it felt like a cop-out not to extend the book out to how Abby adjusted to the trials of motherhood, which can threaten even the healthiest of psyches.
Jan 30, HeavyReader rated it liked it Shelves: This book was a lot harder to read than I had anticipated. Soon after, she began to struggle with OCD. As a young adult, she developed an eating disorder and later began cutting herself. This book chronicles her hours of daily prayer, her compulsive gathering of trash, her magical thinking of responsibility for the deaths of strangers, and other manifestations of her mental illness.
And yet, the author was a successful comic and writer, who did eventually heal and who according to her author bio seems to be enjoying a normal whatever that means life.
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A few aspects of this book hit really close to home. My mom used to do the same thing! When Abby Sher shared this bit of her life, it was a creepy little blast from my past too. She thought she needed to be increasingly skinny to compete with the other female comics at the Second City club in Chicago where she was a writer and performer.
She exercised compulsively for hours a day, fueling her body with only a granola bar or a banana. At night she would eat her one meal of the day, fat free broth with fiber cereal. My own fucked-upness was obvious to me when, instead of feeling sorry for a poor sick girl who was slowly killing herself, I responded by wishing I could be that motivated and disciplined.
Where do women find these guys? When is that going to happen to me? I mean, this gal was a hot mess, and still she got herself a fantastic guy. How does that work? Thankfully, the book has a happy ending: Dec 27, Alex Templeton rated it really liked it. If you've been paying attention to my list of books, you'll probably notice I've been into memoirs lately. I just seem to be finding the stories people tell about their own lives and struggles as compelling as a good novel when well done.
Abby Sher's memoir is about her life as an obsessive-compulsive who lost hours of her life to the need to pray and take responsibility for the calamities of the world. It was a really poignant story of someone who desperately wanted to take control of the wor If you've been paying attention to my list of books, you'll probably notice I've been into memoirs lately.
It was a really poignant story of someone who desperately wanted to take control of the world and explain inexplicable events after losing her beloved aunt and father at the age of ten and eleven. Sher's writing is often beautiful and well-crafted, especially while she is recalling childhood memories--ironically if that is the right word to use here she has done an excellent job, as an adult, of creating order out of the chaotic events of her early life. I appreciate how the memoir doesn't end with everything being solved--Sher is a recovering anorexic who still experiences OCD tendencies, but who seems to be experiencing happiness with her husband and excited for her unborn baby.
Still, the ending of the book seemed rushed--an attempt to wrap up and create a unified structure for events that it's probably too early for Sher to understand. I definitely got the sense that she's still got some things to work through, and I wish her luck. I'd definitely be interested in a "sequel". Oct 29, Mary Lou rated it liked it. A glimpse into the thoughts of someone riddled with OCD. I had the audio, but found the author's voice grating. I sensed this would be a good book without the distraction of the reader, though, so I picked up a hard copy which made a world of difference.
Amen, Amen, Amen: Memoir of a Girl Who Couldn’t Stop Praying (Among Other Things) by Abby Sher
The story and the glimpse into Sher's mind is fascinating and compelling in the same way that rubber-necking at a car wreck is compelling. Part freak show, part "thank God no one in my family suffers from mental illness! As for the writing, the story dragged in the beginning - too much detail - while the end was rushed. There was a lot in the book that I found tedious, but I understand that it was a minuscule manifestation of what Sher and her family were also dealing with, so I plowed through it.
I don't think I could ever read this book a second time, though - it would be too exhausting. As it's not a novel, we can't expect a "happily ever after" ending, but it does seem as though Sher, while still struggling, learned to manage her illness so that she can function from day to day and find pleasure in her life.
No spoilers, but I would have liked to see Sher revisit the events of the "October" chapter at the end of the book when she sees that "Flicker". This seemed like a huge omission to me. Mar 29, Miki Garrison rated it it was amazing. I love reading memoirs, but there's usually something that makes them a bit of a struggle for me -- maybe it's just that uncommon for the people with the most interesting lives are also the best writers, maybe it's how rarely people have enough distance and perspective to know what about their interior and exterior lives is going to be intriguing to others.
And maybe it's that weaving together all the different plot threads of a life -- family, relationships, career, mental illness, health -- in I love reading memoirs, but there's usually something that makes them a bit of a struggle for me -- maybe it's just that uncommon for the people with the most interesting lives are also the best writers, maybe it's how rarely people have enough distance and perspective to know what about their interior and exterior lives is going to be intriguing to others.
And maybe it's that weaving together all the different plot threads of a life -- family, relationships, career, mental illness, health -- into a story that flows is difficult enough in pure fiction, but overwhelmingly challenging when you're dealing with a real life. For me, this book overcomes all of these barriers. While the subtitle and cover copy present the book as a memoir about life with OCD, this book goes far beyond that. It's also about growing up Jewish in upstate New York, about dealing with deaths in the family, about figuring where the lines are that separate you from the people you love, and about finding the people in your life who you can trust to hold on while you take hard steps.
And in all of this, the people are much more real and vivid and complex than they are in most books. It's easy enough to think, "Well, of course they're real, it's because they're real people, not fiction! Plus, it has a Hebrew prayer praising G-d for the blessings of Diet Coke. After experiencing two close losses in her family at an early age, Sher develops severe OCD or her latent OCD-ness was severely exacerbated - she had some tendencies before everything happened.
She can't stop praying, picking up trash that could potentially harm someone else paper clips, pieces of glass, leaves , kissing her father's picture, or washing her hands to name a few. She also feels like her rituals are keeping her family safe while at the same time believing that she's causing acci After experiencing two close losses in her family at an early age, Sher develops severe OCD or her latent OCD-ness was severely exacerbated - she had some tendencies before everything happened. She also feels like her rituals are keeping her family safe while at the same time believing that she's causing accidents all over town.
It was interesting at first but was just so, so, so, so, so repetitive. I wish she had focused more outside of herself and how her illness and recovery impacted those around her. Towards the end, I was so fed up with her and her unwillingness to deal with her issues that it was hard to stay engaged. I listened to the audiobook and while I like that Sher narrated it, I felt like she used her little girl voice for way too long. I didn't watch it all, so I'm not sure if it was pre- or post-book since it was about her OCD, but I found it strange.
Jan 13, Ami rated it it was amazing Shelves: The book was totally engrossing, and the writer talented. OCD isn't about liking things clean or organized; it's about trying to control things you can as a way to compensate for things you can't, even and especially when it gets in the way of the rest your life, just for a little more room to p The book was totally engrossing, and the writer talented. OCD isn't about liking things clean or organized; it's about trying to control things you can as a way to compensate for things you can't, even and especially when it gets in the way of the rest your life, just for a little more room to put air in your lungs where the anxiety has created a vacuum.
Sher is really, really talented at quite poetically putting that into words, into stories. I loved the way she wrote about her father in the beginning, the way her voice almost sounded like the year-old child she was at the time the story took place, how very much she loved him. I felt myself missing her father throughout the whole book.
Amen, Amen, Amen | Book by Abby Sher | Official Publisher Page | Simon & Schuster
A lot of times I couldn't put it down. Feb 16, Vera at LuxuryReading. Com rated it really liked it. Ever since she was little, Abby Sher had the tendency of doing things in certain order, or for a certain amount of times, or collecting specific pieces of garbage. Abby also had the tendency to pray non-stop. At first, Abby finds comfort in her daily rituals, but soon realizes that there's nothing normal about her behavior.
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Nevertheless, Abby faces daily challenges and life traumas by adopting more and mo Ever since she was little, Abby Sher had the tendency of doing things in certain order, or for a certain amount of times, or collecting specific pieces of garbage. Nevertheless, Abby faces daily challenges and life traumas by adopting more and more compulsive habits.
Her faith, in particular, becomes all consuming and Abby feels responsible for saving everyone and everything. The end result becomes an adulthood full of doubt and self-punishment. Abby Sher is a masterful writer and even as I experienced disbelief that anyone could be so trapped within themselves, I could not stop reading.
She describes her experiences in a way that soon made me feel as I was walking in her shoes and dealing with the troubling compulsions that ruled her life.
Memoir of a Girl Who Couldn't Stop Praying (Among Other Things)
Jul 23, Rachel rated it really liked it Shelves: I read an advanced copy, although the book has been released. What I like about this book is that Sher delves into her OCD in ways that are rarely depicted in literature or other media, except as oddities. I didn't know what the memoir was about until I started it, and I will say that, although I don't watch them too often, I love reality tv shows that show people in their addictions--whether they be to illegal substances, to rituals, to food or not --and then their treatment.
Sher, however, portrays herself as a "normal" person who does do those things. I appreciated seeing how little patterns of behavior or inside jokes turned into her rituals. I'm probably not doing the memoir justice, but I'm grateful to Sher for having the courage to write about herself as frankly and openly as she did. Oct 04, Annette rated it it was amazing. This memoir was amazing. It was a very personal look at mental illness and how it can deprive someone of simple every day life.
Looking at the author's Abby's life, from the outside, anyone would be envious at all that she had - devoted loving family, many friends, great job. However, sharing what was going on inside of her, we are able to see that her obsessive compulsive disorder does not allow her to appreciate this to it's Thanks to Good Reads I received this book as a First Reads winner. However, sharing what was going on inside of her, we are able to see that her obsessive compulsive disorder does not allow her to appreciate this to it's fullest.
Her time is robbed by time needed to perform daily rituals including hours of praying. When praying and repetitive mantras are not enough to save the world, she begins self-destructive behavior. This memoir takes us through the ever-changing routes the Abby chooses to confront her personal demons. Aside from the topic, this book was quite witty and funny. Apr 05, Suzie Q rated it really liked it. She loses her father and stepfather to illness and then thinks she needs to pray extra long and extra diligently to prevent any other future loses or else bad things will happen to friends or family or even strangers.
She starts to become obsessed with relationships and exercise and dieting and although she goes to a doctor for some of this pretty good book about an OCD girl who collects trash thinking she is saving the world from major accidents that a paperclip or a shard of glass could cause. She starts to become obsessed with relationships and exercise and dieting and although she goes to a doctor for some of this no one seems to know how deep her ocd is and no one really seems to push her for more indepth therapy which is odd.
Her friends and family just seem to just seem to let it ride until it gets really bad and it takes a toll on her weight and health. I had a tough time with this book on audio, in part I believe because the author read it herself; her little girl voice became more difficult to accept as she grew older.
The self-centered, needy behavior left me wondering how much of an unreliable narrator she might be? Abby Sher takes us on an inside view of obsessive compulsive disorder OCD as she recounts her journey into a world of rituals including praying , anorexia, cutting, alcohol abuse, and ultimately progress in recovery. This is a good read, although at times I found myself shaking my head at the decisions she made along the way. I guess that shows that she manages to share enough of herself in the process that I genuinely cared about what she did to herself and to her relationships.
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The book ends Abby Sher takes us on an inside view of obsessive compulsive disorder OCD as she recounts her journey into a world of rituals including praying , anorexia, cutting, alcohol abuse, and ultimately progress in recovery. The book ends unfinished. That is, the author does not attempt to convince us that her recovery is complete.
This might frustrate some people, but to me it was highly appropriate as a non-fiction story. Few of our stories are finished until we die. All in all a satisfying read. Apr 27, Elisabeth rated it liked it. This book is raw and haunting and not in the least bit funny -- I expected it to be somewhat less sad and somewhat more funny, perhaps because I read Devil in the Details: Scenes from an Obsessive Girlhood.
That said, I recommend it!
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But not to everyone. Not for the emotionally squeamish! Probably not for boys except under unusual circumstances. I feel like I should have more to say about this, but I'm still processing it. Even though I do not have an OCD diagnosis, I have a tendency to adopt semi-ritualistic patterns when extremely stressed, so I found Abbie's tales of praying, counting, kissing, etc.
Her candor and way of expressing herself comedically, since that is her profession makes for delightful reading. I liked reading about her all-consuming relationships with friends and lovers. I also enjoyed reading about her complex family dynamics. I cannot stress enough how excellent this book was!
Jul 01, Becky Johnson rated it it was amazing. First of all, I must give Abby Sher props for divulging a highly-personal story about her struggles with obsessive-compulsive disorder — a disease that consumes almost her entire life. While many reviewers of this book on Amazon found this book to be somewhat-overly-repetitious, as someone who struggles with moderate OCD herself, I found her repetitions to truly show how the disease has affected her, the importance of rituals in her daily life, and how she has learned to cope with her condition.
Read the rest of my review here: Oct 03, Elle rated it really liked it. Often we joke about real psychological illnesses. We'll comment and say, "That's my OCD talking. The question becomes then, "Does she pray because she has OCD or does she pray out of faith? She doesn't want it open for criticism. I admire the way she manages to be so open and honest in her writing. So far it has been an interesting read. There are no discussion topics on this book yet.
Videos About This Book. Books by Abby Sher. Trivia About Amen, Amen, Amen No trivia or quizzes yet. When her father and favorite aunt pass away, Abby fills the void of her loss with rituals: Then she begins to pray. At first she repeats the few phrases she remembers from synagogue, but by the time she is in high school, Abby is spending hours locked in her closet urgently reciting a series of incantations and pleas. The prescribed patterns from which she cannot deviate become her shelter and her obsession.
In college, Abby is diagnosed with obsessive compulsive disorder, and while it helps explain the counting and kissing and collecting, she resists rationalizing her deepest obsession, certain that her prayers are not an illness but the cure. Unable to confront the fears that drive her, she descends into darker compulsions, cutting and starving herself, measuring every calorie and each incision. But even in the darkest moments of her illness, there are glimmers of laughter and hope, for she carries the irrepressible spirit and passion that are so much a part of her family.
Ultimately, it is another loss-the death of her mother-that compels Abby to redefine the terms of her illness and her faith, freeing her to live and love more fully. Full of heartbreak, buoyant with humor, and marked by exceptionally vivid storytelling, Amen, Amen, Amen is a brilliant account of soul-searching, self-discovery, and the bounds and boundlessness of obsession and devotion. How to write a great review. The review must be at least 50 characters long. The title should be at least 4 characters long.
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