Insomnia

Thirty years later, digestive problems led to a chain of operations in her stomach, kidneys and bowel. Then there was the doctor who, back when I was born, told her with, as I have always imagined, a wagging finger and stern expression: And most mornings, as I was growing up, she would ask, in a slightly urgent tone: Pills rattled on the kitchen table at breakfast. Immersing myself in books and courses, the next 10 years took me on a long, deep journey of self-discovery. My past unravelled and so, to my immense regret, did my marriage.

I learned how to handle my state, no matter how tired, desperate, furious, or despondent I felt. When I woke in the night, I now knew how to tune into my anxiety and to distinguish between the fears in my head and the feelings in my body. I had learned how to calm myself, but not how to sleep. My discoveries did help me hold down my part-time job on a national newspaper, though I sat, as hidden as possible, in a corner of the office, lest someone spot my head jerking suddenly, as it did on the handful of occasions I nodded off at my desk. And I raised two beautiful, caring, gifted and hard-working children.

I had a sports degree but it was only now that I saw how integral to my spirit cycling the Sussex hills, joining the park run or swimming in the sea were. My life turned around, slowly but surely. I saw friends, travelled, ran a half marathon, fell in love. Now, my 4am brain buzzed with excitement. A few days later, the backstory of its British author, Sasha Stephens, had me engrossed. Its tragicomic misery was soberingly familiar.

Sleep, she says, is natural and normal and we can all do it. We just have to learn how. My favourite affirmation was: Having already burrowed deep into my mind, I knew the power of changing habitual thoughts and the determination it takes to do that. And when it tried, as it surely would, did and does, I now knew to ignore it. By far the toughest task was getting out of bed when I woke in the night.

Your body must learn, says Sasha, that bed is for sleep or sex only. If you lie awake for more than around 20 minutes — which you must guess at, because not looking at a clock is one of the 12 points — you get up and do something calming. I huddled on the floor and wrote affirmations. On I ploughed, blindly optimistic that her premise — that sleep is a normal, natural activity that our bodies know how to do — would prove correct.

I would get up at 6am, my fixed getting-up time, after just a few hours of sleep, and sit on my bedroom floor, my body tender to touch and my head, cloudy with fatigue, telling me that none of this was working and that I really must be careful not to do too much today. I should take it easy and get to bed early.

I listened to Sasha instead. After a bad night, she says, I must do more in the day, go for a longer run, see more people. Her advice defied all the messages clogging my furred-up brain.

Slumber numbers

But I trusted her. She had also taken a cautious, energy- saving approach during her own insomnia before a bout of unprecedented exercise during a boot-camp style holiday revealed to her the key to sleep: In my own switch from a tendency towards caution to a seize-the-day mentality, I immediately felt a lift, a murmur of excitement, the stirrings of vitality. I pulled on shorts, did up my trainers and stepped out into the day, running along the seafront, into the light, powering my system with fresh air, toughening my bones with impact… and tiring my body in preparation for sleep that night.

The daytime is for activities, for challenges, night-time is for sleep: With more blind optimism. One particularly groggy morning, my limbs throbbed more than usual, my skin winced when my fingers brushed it and my throat and glands raged. Daring myself to relax the rules, I stopped getting up in the night when I woke, cut exercising to five times a week and, at weekends, set my alarm an hour later, to 7am. Have to write myself a note…. But then he was a man.

So he got to think about interesting things. Women still do most of the thinking about domestics…. A slight tension in my neck. Focus the attention, Sasha says, on the body, not a specific part of it but the body as a whole, the energy of it just inside. A moment later, a faint rushing.

The movement of my blood. It was carrying me. I sank a little deeper into the mattress. The seven-hour nights became more frequent — once or twice a week. But when one morning, in the sixth month, I woke knowing I had been awake earlier in the night and had therefore drifted back to sleep, I knew things were really shifting. The waking was ceasing to become so abrupt and absolute and one Sunday morning, after sleeping a solid seven hours, I spent another two dozing — a deliriously happy twilight state in which I was both aware of and yet fully immersed in a deliciously relaxed slumber.

By now I have had had a few email exchanges with Sasha but I wanted to meet her, see her in the flesh, ask her things. How could I get seven or even eight-hour nights, all the time? Should I go back to getting up in the middle of the night? And I wanted to look her in the eye and ask if she really slept for eight to nine hours a night.

By some quirk of fate it transpired we lived in the same town, so one day she came to my house. You are still paying too much attention to it just by having this conversation with me. I knew the truth of what she was saying. It had been my mind all along that had prevented me from sleeping.

But tackling that incredibly complex piece of wiring and its capacity to evade reason was no small task. More than anything, tell a positive story of sleep. Fake it until you make it.

I had evidence that she was right. I had slept on enough nights to know both that I could and that I would sleep the whole night through. Those were the thoughts and memories I would fill my head with.

1. Start Here.
2. Santa Fe Fortune (Romantic Comedy).
3. Finally, a cure for insomnia??

She looked up, thinking. My bed is my happy place where I let everything else go. Those deep strong colours hovered in my mind now. I saw them adorning my bed, inviting me, making that corner of my bedroom, beneath a sloping ceiling, into a sanctuary, a place of peace, the haven I would curl into each night, that would pull me into a deep, restorative, blissful unconsciousness. When worrying thoughts begin, I welcome them. And, during the day, I dance as if nobody is watching.

Donald Trump says he gets four. Margaret Thatcher, on the other hand, managed with just three. Two solid arguments, then, for getting enough hours of proper sleep — somewhere between six and eight for we mere mortals, according to experts in the burgeoning field that is sleep science. And not just a science. Deluxe mattress makers, herbal remedy concoctors, manufacturers of electronic sleep trackers, writers of self-help books, all are cashing in on our seeming inability to close our eyes and fall effortlessly into the embrace of Hypnos. The South Koreans, who have turned insomnia into a national art form, have a term for the massive commercial edifice built on the simple goal of attaining nightly oblivion: We are suffering a sleep crisis, according to this booming industry, drained by overlong working hours, assailed by ubiquitous communications invading the supposed sanctuary of home and, when we finally fall exhausted into the sack, tortured by racing minds, victims of chronic job insecurity and the ridiculous demands of dumb macho management still buzzing around in our heads at 1am.

This calculation assumes that endemic sleep deprivation translates directly into absenteeism and reduced productivity.

It is also said to kill people: Colin Espie is not so sure. You can get it at any age, but older adults are more likely to have it. You are also at higher risk of insomnia if you. Insomnia can cause daytime sleepiness and a lack of energy. It also can make you feel anxious, depressed, or irritable. You may have trouble focusing on tasks, paying attention, learning, and remembering. Insomnia also can cause other serious problems. For example, it could make you may feel drowsy while driving.

This could cause you get into a car accident. If your insomnia is the symptom or side effect of another problem, it's important to treat that problem if possible. Learn More No links available. See, Play and Learn No links available. Research Clinical Trials Journal Articles. Resources Find an Expert. For You Women Patient Handouts.

What are the types of insomnia? Who is at risk for insomnia? You are also at higher risk of insomnia if you Have a lot of stress Are depressed or have other emotional distress, such as divorce or death of a spouse Have a lower income Work at night or have frequent major shifts in your work hours Travel long distances with time changes Have an inactive lifestyle Are African American; research shows that African Americans take longer to fall asleep, don't sleep as well, and have more sleep-related breathing problems than whites.

What are the symptoms of insomnia? Symptoms of insomnia include: Lying awake for a long time before you fall asleep Sleeping for only short periods Being awake for much of the night Feeling as if you haven't slept at all Waking up too early What other problems can insomnia cause? How is insomnia diagnosed? To diagnose insomnia, your health care provider Takes your medical history Asks for your sleep history. Your provider will ask you for details about your sleep habits.

Does a physical exam, to rule out other medical problems that might cause insomnia May recommend a sleep study. A sleep study measures how well you sleep and how your body responds to sleep problems. What are the treatments for insomnia?