Conversation With A Madman

I approached him, and we traded cordial introductions. I told him that I was writing about academia, and that I felt motivated to do so because I sensed a kind of insularity and arrogance in the profession. I asked him whether he thought the work of academia was of any value to society. As a student of science, I could feel my blood pressure rising.

Doug was missing a fundamental cog in his understanding of the scientific method—namely, that observation is only a single step. Observation, the collection of empirical data, serves to confirm or contradict but never truly claims to prove hypothesized phenomena, which are themselves not directly observable.

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Nobody ever saw a Tyrannosaurus alive, but the mountainous volume of fossil evidence that they left behind makes the denial of their existence an indefensible position. So it goes with the Big Bang. But Doug spoke with the sober and impersonal articulation of a man who had engaged in this conversation a thousand times before. So, I heard him out.

A Dialog with a Madman - Existential Comics

He went down a grocery list of cosmological origin stories from the literature of theoretical physics: At this point, I noticed some students loosely gathering around, sneering and taking pictures. I suppose they were dumbfounded by the treason of my diplomacy with the mentally infirm. For a moment, I felt it was my turn to play St.

Peter, to insist to the crowd that I did not know the man—that he was not my teacher, nor my friend. But Doug was undeterred, and I knew that I had to keep up. So, Doug concluded, nature needs God. I admitted to Doug that, as a student of evolutionary biology, I accept Darwin's theory alone as a framework for my origin story, and that it seemed absurd to me to necessitate the existence of something supernatural to explain nature. But I conceded that science could never explain the universe except through infinite material regress.

I cited the late evolutionary theorist Stephen Jay Gould's concept of "non-overlapping magisteria": Science is a realm of inquiry which can only ask the how questions, but never the whys. The latter are the domain of philosophy, or for some, like Doug, theology. Herein lies the most valuable lesson from Doug, the man with the sign.

Oh, wandering is my weakness!

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Back to the book; somewhere along the way, I had gotten bored and abandoned it. But last week, I was at the book again. Also, count the cases of geniuses that are counted as crazy because, with its cognitive limitations, the rest of society fails to understand their choices and behaviour that fall outside social norms and conventions. I understood the risk, but could not resist the urge for another point of view. It was my third time meeting the man that moves around with some huge thing that looks like the adungu musical instrument, but decorated to dysfunction with all sorts of metals and plastics, and sprayed into army-like camouflage, fetching it a weapon-like look.

It appeared rather heavy, but he ably carried it alongside other excessive paraphernalia he had covered his body with. And yes, it appeared he had had a long holiday away from a bath. Yes, I would label the behaviour without any hesitation. Oli wa popi, oba oyagala kulyawo buswazzi bwange bwenva okutala?

He retorted, as he visually inspected my appearance. At his request, I handed him my big bottle of water, and he downed it to half as we sat under a roadside tree to talk. It was all in Luganda argot, with bits of English here and there. I had to be careful not to overstretch my intrusion and nosiness. People say I have a short circuit in the head. But since he had also found it funny, I joined in. But I moved back after many years in need of some stability.

But my world had to come tumbling down for him. It was so degrading as a person. They treated me like a heroin addict. I was cheating somehow , in his eyes. I asked for help and got my little brothers mates to try to help me when they could. I wanted to start paying but until I had a more realistic figure it was not possible. So after 9 months he snapped told me to go , I always did as they wished and they always exactly opposite to what I wished so it was no surprise.

I went no contact the narcissistic emotional blackmail was heavy now , again. Luckily I got an ok job that is local and requires a fair bit of input , so I get ok money. My mother is so afraid that she just defends his silly ways. For fear his insecurity surfacing as rage. I went in it was so grey and heavy I could feel the tension I tried to say a few things to my mother he burst in the room absolutely frothing like a madman. As humans we fight for what we value , my father taught me nothing really. But I draw strength to recover and my response will never be that to him ever.

He got his medicine in the end. People get fed up of games my man , move out. Like Liked by 1 person. Thanks for this episodic comment. I am glad to know there is someone else out there experiencing almost the exact same nightmare that I have gone through my entire life. The moment I separate and start to get good in my own life again, I feel my father is just sitting there waiting. But I am 45 now. I have done this so many time. I know where it leads.

A downward spiral of misery and preoccupation with how fucked up he is behaving. When you think they may have changed, they have not. They exist to break you down to lift themselves up. Maybe they are downright fucked up evil. Yes, you are on your own. You must stay away from him. And in all respect, you should keep space from your mom. What is it called- scapegoating. Take care of yourself man. Live in the moment.

Take things moment by moment. Try and keep a big distance from them. You are on your own. This is the only way you can have a decent life. They just get angry. So growing up trying to be happy and upbeat was a near impossible task when I think about it , I have good ethics I believe and am an ok guy iv got friends all over the world at least.

I always felt that he somehow engineered problems to set me up to make me fail , harassing and goading me all the time with a grin. When he was on top everybody knew. But I have guts so I fought him at most turns he hated that being gazumped by a lanky skinny lad. My brothers have let us all down , they are fence sitters. I told them this would end up like this , no relationship is possible for me now. My mother begged me to apologise to him for defending myself , he had a glass bowl over his head when I punched him.

So now iv acted out for there benefit which is something I hate. They have a knack of reminding me about all the things they provided me with at home. My friends parents just seemed happy to provide , even splash out a bit. My friends were working class like me. My parents are not but the reality is they are , money was always an issue.

Poisonous relationships with cantankerous old twerps is beyond sensible or wise. And if you go back you intrude on there boring existence with energy and vigour and colour and life. Thanks for your comments and point of view. To you my friend I wish prosperity and good fortune. Thank you, I appreciate it. I wish I could have goodness and beauty and smiles but I seem to be always ending up in a pit of depression and despair. Fortunately I know how to lift myself out of it now, but still not easy. Life just feels so unfulfilling for me.

You sure your dad and mom are not my dad and mom? It sounds like the exact same situation. You could be writing about me and my father and mother.

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I was even a skinny and lanky kid always challenging big tough dad. My father appeared upper class but money was always an issue as well.

Just love to give to us. Anyways, I wish you the very best out there. Hope things go well for you. They will only be better outside of a relationship with your folks but all that anger and pain tends to follow people like you and I around wherever we go. But I am happier now than I have ever been even if I am still unhappy.

No longer lasts as long.

I am babbling on here I know. Good work coming to all the realizations you have. That is the hard part. Now the work is just sticking with it, day by day and gradually better things will grow. I just need to find a way to stop being one of them. You are commenting using your WordPress.